Losing the Best of Us - 2. Low Profile

Chapter 1 –

Low Profile

8 months prior.

As I scrolled down the webpage, I wondered if I was making the right choice. I had decided to “take the next step on the road to independence”.

My parents were still reluctant to the idea, but they gave in.

The university had implemented a new study plan. In short, it would move four faculties into a new campus, so starting next semester the students of those faculties would have to transfer there. As thrilling as that new plan sounded, the new campus was the problem. It would take three hours just to get there from home. I didn't consider myself lazy, just… sleep-sensitive, so the only way I figured out to get more sleep hours was renting an apartment near the new campus. And get a part time job while I was at it to pay my living expenses.

So there I was, surfing on the web to finish this stressful quest to find the perfect apartment for me. Small and cheap. Fuck. I still had an exam early the following morning. As I looked at the clock, I finally gave up and decided to call it a day.

***

The annoying and intermittent tone of the alarm woke me up. Looking outside the window, I could see a cold and gloomy scene. I looked up and kept my eyes open contemplating the white ceiling so I wouldn't fall asleep again.

My eyelids nearly closed before a minute passed.

Apparently, waking up at 5:30 AM staring at the ceiling wouldn't actually help at all, so I sat up on my bed wrapping myself in blankets. After some lazy attempts to get off my bed, I managed to stand up, grab some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom. The infamous exam was scheduled at 7 AM. Yes, that is early for a university student. The exam wouldn't be the challenge. Getting there in time would be.

After having a warm shower, dressing and picking up some notes, I closed the door and rushed toward the bus stop. My stomach growled, but breakfast would have to wait. Probably until lunch. I sighed in defeat and waited for the bus to come, memorizing some of the notes trying not to think about food at all.

***

“So we meet again,” I mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. Monologues: a bad habit of introverts like me.

Seeing two guys like them (who really stood out from the crowd) wasn't an everyday occurrence around the Engineering faculty. Was it because of finals week? I didn't care. My eyes didn't seem to get tired looking at them, even though this was already the sixth time in a week. Thank God I hadn't left right after finishing my last exam.

“So how long are you planning to ignore me, Zach?” A red-haired asked deviously as she got her hands on my back. I instinctively cursed. I turned around and glared at her.

“You!” I blurted out.

“Scaredy-cat,” she rolled her eyes.

“How long have you been here?” I asked, still breathing heavily.

“ I've been right behind you for quite some time actually. You seemed pretty fixed on something… or someone!” She replied grinning as she took my place.

“Oho! Jocks again? You never seem to learn.”

“Who told you I was looking at those jocks?” I tried avoiding the subject.

“So you are telling me you have been looking at those plastic chicks beside them?” she asked teasingly.

“Probably,” I lied defiantly. She looked back at me and snorted.

“They really stand out, okay?” I looked away.

“That doesn't change the fact that you are still aiming in the ‘straight’ direction. Tsk tsk,” she sulked while pointing at the two guys that mesmerized me earlier.

“You must know them pretty well to know their sexual orientation,” I challenged. She smirked.

“The one on the left is Sean Farkas from the Architecture faculty, and beside him, Gerard Kovacs from the Art faculty, like me,” she made a pause, savoring the name as if it was candy.

I guess that explained why I hadn’t seen them before. I was in the Engineering faculty, far away from the Art and Architecture faculties in the current campus. I wondered if I would see them more frequently at the new campus.

“Yes, you are definitely going to see them more frequently at the new campus,” she answered.

“I didn’t say that out loud.” I looked at her in horror. Did she develop some kind of telepathic power?

“Pfft. You are just easy to read. Ever since we met,” she stated proudly. I stared at her for a few more seconds, expecting her to confess that she had some secret powers.

Silence.

“So I’ll have to stick with you and your telepathic powers for another semester?” I asked faking annoyance.

“Yup, so deal with it.” She pinched my right cheek while glancing at her phone screen with her free hand.

“Well, my friend, as much as I would like to continue chatting with you, I have to go. Ancient Greek Art History calls! How thrilling does it sound?” she said with a notorious sarcastic tone in her voice.

“I should be expressing my ideas through abstract painting or sculptures by now. Instead, I have to write down what I read in …” She shuddered “… books.”

“Good luck, I guess.” I replied vaguely, my eyes resting at Sean’s muscular body.

“Oh thanks for listening to me rant,” she said still with the ironic tone.

“Make sure not to stare for too long or your eyes might pop up, four-eyes.” I glared in her direction, but she had already sprinted downstairs.

Remarkable woman.

Simply remarkable.

***

As I walked down the street, I started to make a mental to-do list for today: go home, look for apartments, make lunch, continue looking for apartments, get some ice cream and definitely get those small chocolates with coffee beans inside. The mental list was a silly thing I should have stopped doing some time ago, but somehow still inevitable. OCD much?

I slowed down my pace as my eyes darted to a familiar display case before I could finish my list. I looked inside.

Why now of all days?

I looked at my watch. Maybe just a short visit wouldn’t alter the schedule. I made my way inside as I shrugged off the guilty feeling of procrastination.

***

I held my breath as I turned the page.

OH MY GOD.

I looked away but couldn’t resist looking back at it. Crime fiction books really absorbed me. I bet even Agatha Christie would be proud of this book. I flipped a few more pages until I finished reading the third chapter. It had been a long time since I had a good read. Finally something different from those sleep inducing math books.

Just one more chapter before I go won’t hurt, will it?

An incessant buzz on my pocket interrupted my thoughts and told me I had an incoming call.

Caroline.

“What’s up?” I asked muttering, looking around the library shelves so I wouldn’t get caught talking on the phone.

“The ceiling,” she said playfully.

“Ha-ha.”

“Anyway, why are you sort of whispering?” She asked in an intriguing tone.

“Library. Do you need something?”

“Definitely not from the library. Would you mind coming to the cafeteria?”

“Why should I?”

“Cheer me up. The exam was deadly.” She changed her previous tone of voice to a defeated one.

“How deadly?”

“Imagine yourself locked up in a room full with speakers.”

“Still not deadly,” I answered as I put back the book back into the bottom shelf.

“Blasting Justin Bieber’s “Baby” on an infinite loop”.

“Whoa. That deadly?” I asked, thinking about how bad she was feeling.

“And you know the lyrics.”

“Oh stop it, please.”

“And your feet start tapping to the beat. If it even has one.”

“I think I got it now. “ I pleaded her to stop. “Wait. How long has it been since your exam?”

“About one hour. Why?”

“Fuck!” I cursed. “I was supposed to be looking for apartments by now. I’m going home.”

I felt the gaze of the librarian inspecting the room wondering where the swearing came from.

“Hey, wait for me!” she yelled. It was incredible the pitch on her voice when she wanted to sound desperate.

I looked at my watch again. I guess I had enough time to meet her at the university entrance and catch the bus.

“Fine, but you have to hurry up. See you at the entrance. I’ll sit on the bench nearby.”

“Yes, sir!” I rolled my eyes and hung up.

***

Sitting on a nearby bench waiting for Caroline wasn’t a bright idea after all. I lowered my sight pretending to play with my phone to avoid unnecessary social interaction. It’s not like I expected some stranger to talk or ask me something. But it was better safe than sorry, right?

There were too many students gathering near the bench I was sitting on. I looked at my watch for the fourth time. Five minutes had passed, but it felt like forever. I rang her phone a few times with no response.

Where the hell are you, Caroline?!

Another group of guys gathered by the bench so I decided to stand up and wait right beside the entrance. I felt a bit trapped, but I could deal with it as long as Caroline hurried up. As far as I knew, the cafeteria wasn’t that far from the entrance so I wondered if she had done something stupid on her way.

“Hey Gerard! Finished your exam already?” asked a deep voice behind me.

“Yeah. The exam was way too long. We technically had to write a yearly report of the ‘Ancient Greek Art History’. Can you believe it? I bet you would have given up after reading the first question.” taunted the other strong voice.

“Is that so? I’m glad I chose Architecture over Art. I thought the Art faculty exams involved something more… dynamic. Like painting fruits?” the other voice mocked.

“Probably later. But why don’t you tell us about your exam? Did you have enough LEGO blocks to build a house? If not, I could lend you my little brother’s next time.” The group behind me laughed out loud.

Even though they were noisy, I had to accept that was quite a decent comeback. I chuckled a bit which was probably the reason of instant karma. The muscular torso of one of them knocked me down.

Pain.

I landed sideways, but fortunately I didn’t break my arm from the impact. The culprit quickly stood up and offered me his hand. Still on the floor, I looked up to see who the idiot that knocked me down was. I glared at first but the anger soon disappeared. Standing before me was Sean with an apologetic look on his gorgeous face. I cursed on my inside. My eyes stared at him while my brain was recovering from the shock. Sean took back his hand and crouched only to rest his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m really sorry, buddy.” He stuttered and left out a nervous laugh. He got closer and rubbed my arm. “Uhm… does it hurt?”

I didn’t understand a word he said and just concentrated on his gentle big hand touching me. My heart began to beat way too fast and I blushed violently. I tried to pull myself together and answer him with an ‘it’s cool’ trying not to sound nervous or idiotic, or both. The next thing I noticed was Gerard walking toward us with a puzzled look on his face.

“Are you okay? Your face is all r-“

“Why don’t both of you get lost?!” I growled. People gathered around us went silent.

What the hell, brain?

I guess it suddenly decided to ignore how much I wanted to keep a low profile from this whole mess.

I stood up instantly and rushed toward the bus stop making my way through the crowd. Many possible consequences were brought up in my mind. And all of them included getting beat up. I did my best not to look behind as I hastened my pace. Fortunately, they weren’t on sight anymore. I let myself drop on the bus seat, cursing on my insides.

***

Once back at home I decided not to think about it, telling myself I had more important things to do than getting depressed. I wished this kind of strong will worked whenever I wanted to.

I turned on my laptop and began looking for small apartments. I checked at least 15 websites. After reducing the search using the filters, all of them showed up the same results: blank. I wondered if it was bad luck or I was just too picky. After modifying some filters the results were either too expensive or too spacious. I left out a big sigh and decided to try later at night. My stomach grumbled as I shut my laptop down.

I looked at the clock. Lunch time.

I strolled to the kitchen and opened the fridge looking at today’s lunch choices: Turkey and bread slices or microwave mini-pizza. Not in the mood for pizza, I took the turkey and bread slices out of the fridge. My phone vibrated as I put the stuff down. I looked at the screen and left out a sigh. Caroline. She seriously had some guts to call me after practically abandoning me. I pressed the hang up button and turned the phone off.

After I finished the sandwich I heard a few knocks on my door. My heart throbbed as the knocks were more persistent. I opened up with caution just to find the red haired girl panting and leaning against the wall in front of the door.

Did she run just to get here?

I shrugged internally deciding it wasn’t the time to ask.

“Well, well. Who do we have here? Oh right! The so-called best friend I never met at the entrance.” I said with a clear annoyed tone.

“Sorry! I’m really sorry, but something happened on my way to the entrance and couldn’t answer the phone.”

“This cute freshman asked me about some books I could recommend him. So…” She started to explain with a dreamy smile all over her face.

Before she could finish, I shut the door right on her. Seriously? Abandoning her best friend for a random freshman? Unbelievable!

I heard a cry from the other side of the door. Fuck! Did I hit her?

I opened the door right away to see if she was hurt. To my surprise, not only she was unscathed, but she took the chance and pushed me to the side, barging in and throwing herself onto the couch.

“You can’t drag me out now.” She snickered satisfied with her act.

She was right. She was stronger than your average female, or maybe I was just weak. Or both.

“You are so dead.” I glared at her after closing the door. “It’s your fault that my life will turn into crap now.”

“Why?” she looked interested with her round eyes now wide open.

I hesitated for a moment knowing her possible reaction but ended up telling her about everything earlier, from Sean’s gentle hand on my shoulder to how I screwed up.

She cracked up and rolled on the floor. After gently tickling her everywhere she crawled back to the couch as she panted heavily due to all the laughter.

“I can’t believe you said that! You really grew some balls, huh?” She covered her face with both hands to hold the laughter.

“It’s your entire fault.” I frowned. I knew it was partly my fault as I could have left earlier to take the bus, but still…

“I’ll make it up somehow,” she apologized before bursting in laughter. I rolled my eyes and tickled her stomach.

“OK! I promise. I promise.” She said breathing with difficulty.

“You better not do something stupid,” I warned her. Once she calmed down, I told her about my plans to look for a small apartment and she offered to ask her friends to look around near their houses. We watched some TV shows afterwards.

“Are you staying for dinner?” I asked her after the show.

“Next time maybe. I already made plans with Emma and Leah to go to the mall.” She replied.

“Do you want to come?”

“Next time maybe.” I repeated.

“You are just shy. They won’t eat you. They even said it was comfortable to hang around with you.”

“Well, I wonder why. Hint: Starts with ‘I’m’ and ends with ‘gay’” I rolled my eyes.

“I would have never guessed!” she said sarcastically.

“So next time then. Promise?” she begged.

“Promise. Now go or you’ll be late.”

“Oh, and don’t worry about that embarrassing scene. It will turn out well, believe me.” She smirked as I closed the door.

Those “I promise” and “believe me” weren’t exactly comforting words especially if they came from Caroline. The last time I believed in her, I ended up throwing up after riding a rollercoaster. Would it be different this time?

After Caroline left to meet with the girls, I went back to my room. I thought about Gerard and Sean again. I was angry and disappointed with myself for the way I had answered their friendly concerns. I rolled on my bed trying to think about a way to avoid them at all costs from now on. I could never face them again expecting a normal reaction. I didn't know what to do. Maybe I was just giving it too much thought, but who wouldn't after such an embarrassing behavior? How did it become so important to me in just a matter of hours? Was this some kind of obsession?

I heard a few knocks on my door.

“Hey Zachary, I’m back. Mind giving me a hand with the groceries?” Mom’s tender voice said as she stood by my door.

“Oh welcome back, mom. How was work?” I rubbed my eyes and put my glasses on.

“Nothing remarkable. How was your exam?”

“Good. So what are we having for dinner?” I asked while holding one of the heavy bags of groceries.

“Parmesan fish with spaghetti, your favorite. But you will have to help me out.” She grinned.

“Fine.” I followed her to the kitchen. Hopefully, the meal would lighten up my mood.

Tough day.