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    LJCC
  • LJCC
  • Author
  • 11/29/2023
  • 1,135 Words
  • 2,328 Views
  • 13 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Longest Third Date - 1. KLEBBER AND DENNIS'S NETFLIX INTRO

TIMELINE:
A Chapter in Scene 4 —> Continues onto THIS Chapter
So what I've written so far will serve as the foundation, and I hope to expand it more.

NOTE: I will definitely modify this chapter—not eliminate or cut parts, but instead ADD more context. I just need to get to the near end of the last scene, Scene 4, to be able to rewrite this because one of the chapters in Scene 4 links up to this very chapter, which is the start of the story.

PROGRESS report:

  • Previously at 216k words on the day of this posting (10/01/24)

  • Taking a break. Moving to a new house. Resuming in December or late November.

    • Left story at 230k+ words at Chapter 32, Scene 3.




—A red ‘Letter N' unfolds into a spectrum of colors.

PRESENT TIME (POST-COVID19)

Netflix Studios, NY Office, 888 Broadway, New York

—In the middle of the studio, a blue partition cuts the space like a line drawn between two worlds. The acoustic ceiling hangs low, holding the silence of a breath unreleased. Just in front of the divider, a chartreuse leather couch sits with a floor lamp standing sentinel to the left and three potted areca palms keeping it company. On either side, corner tables rise up, stacked circles of marble. The director's voice breaks the stillness: "Quiet, please," as though trying to hush the very air.

Another voice follows: "Take one, mark."

The screen shifts, and there’s a man now, center stage on that couch, guitar in hand. He begins to play, and it’s Lucas Imbiriba's Malagueña, every pluck weaving through the room, richer and fuller notes, as though the sound is breathing life into the space.

The camera zooms in, focusing on the guitar player’s face, where his dark, wavy hair falls over his shoulders. On the other half of the screen, a blond man blinks into the lens; his eyes—a blue so pale it almost burns—fill the frame. There’s a knowing smile in those eyes, and as the shot pulls back, you see him—chiseled features, blonde cropped hair, a nose straight as a line drawn with purpose, olive skin that catches the light just right. He blinks again, that smile curving up at the corners, like he's playing a seductive game only he knows.

Back to the guitar player, the camera dives deeper, locking on his hazel-brown eyes, lashes brushing down as he closes them, lost in the rhythm. His fingers dance across the strings, possessed by some spirit only he can hear, plucking out the intro with a swift, sure touch. The scene fades, the music echoing into a dark, bluish void, and then the words flash across the screen:

A Netflix Documentary…

—The percussion kicks in, quickening the pulse, fingers tapping the guitar base like a heartbeat, the rhythm driving forward, flamenco-inspired and fierce:

ITV America in association with CIVILIAN 7 ENTERTAINMENT

—As the music fades, the beat shifts, morphing into an upbeat summer vibe.

—The screen lights up with a tall brunette, his hair tied back in a manbun, lounging on the right side of a leather couch. Wearing a pink bomber jacket, black shirt, white pants, and yellow sneakers—legs splayed wide, he leans forward with his notorious grin.

Next to him, a shorter blond guy, strikingly gorgeous, and legs crossed. He fiddles with his black sweatshirt and dark denims, then shoots a smile straight at the camera, looking cool and undeniably sexy.

KLEBBER: Hold up, I’ve got a thread stuck. This drives me nuts. [The blond, still smiling, plucks at a loose thread on his jeans.]

—In the background, the director calls out, "Greg, can you double-check our marks?"

DENNIS: I was on time, right? I mean, I was super on time. [The camera pans to Dennis Ellison, the big man with the manbun, his face lights up with a playful grin.] Not for my dates with Kleb, but today, I was on time.

—The screen shifts to Klebber Toledo, the shorter blond man, catching his laid-back vibe.

PRODUCER: So, how did you two meet?

KLEBBER: Dennis and I met on a dating app, Tinge.

DENNIS: I swiped right, finally breaking my streak of 58 unremarkable, half-naked dudes.

—The screen flashes to Klebber’s Tinge profile pics.

DENNIS: He had a surfing pic, so at least I got to see his abs.

PRODUCER: And…?

—Laughter bubbles up; the crew can’t help but giggle.

DENNIS: [He bites his lower lip, sinking into the couch, hands covering his face like he’s trying to hide from the truth.] Alright, I admit it, he's hot—really hot. Blond, tanned, a smile that could stop traffic, and the guy knows how to surf. Who wouldn’t swipe on that? I was looking for someone fun—someone to travel with and go on adventures with. That was the deal; it was my top priority. So yeah, I swiped, and then it was just this waiting game, hoping he’d swipe back.

—Dennis’s Tinge profile pops up on the screen.

KLEBBER: I couldn’t figure him out at first. Every photo was like a different version of the guy. One minute he’s on the beach with a ukulele, then he’s at some fancy party, champagne in hand. Then he’s DJing at a club, getting kissed on the lips by a bearded dude in a nurse's outfit, mistletoe hanging above. And yeah, there’s even a shot where he’s getting smooched on the cheek by Chris Evans. His profile was wild, man.

PRODUCER: Did you ever think he was a fuckboi? [The question hangs in the air, triggering laughter in the studio.] You called him a fuckboi the first time you met.

KLEBBER: Yeah, I did. I mean, come on, look at him. Tall, dark hair, and that goofy smile, like he’s the naughtiest kid in the school photo lineup. I figured he probably had a line of guys he was sleeping with when we met. [He laughs.]

PRODUCER: Did he?

KLEBBER: I don’t know. He just kept laughing whenever I’d ask. Now that I think about it, his laugh used to drive me crazy.

PRODUCER: Still does?

KLEBBER: Nah. But he claims my snoring drives him nuts, so we’re even. Though I’m pretty sure he secretly likes it.

PRODUCER: So what made you swipe back?

KLEBBER: There was this one answer on Dennis's profile—he wrote that he was looking for a partner to complement his lifestyle.

PRODUCER: What’s wrong with that?

KLEBBER: I’m like, this guy’s looking for a life partner? Definitely not for me. I was just out to have some fun, nothing serious. I’d just come out of a three-year relationship, so I wasn’t looking for anything deep. But then I saw this photo of him holding his best friend’s kid, with that ridiculous grin on his face. [He smiles, caught in the memory.] That picture stuck with me. It stood out from all the party shots. And this little voice in my head was like, ‘This is the real Dennis. Just give it a shot. Go for a test run.’ So I swiped him.

—The screen lights up with their profiles matching.

DENNIS: And then…oh, you matched. Well, I had to say something, right? I grabbed my phone and typed out ‘hey gorgeous,’ smiley face. [He grins.] That was it. I never could’ve guessed what was coming next. But we matched, and we started talking. I guess the next step was to go on a date. [He snorts a laugh.] Well, might as well.

SCENE 1:

THE MEETCUTE

Copyright © 2023 LJCC; All Rights Reserved.
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Based on a Netflix documentary of the same name, I decided to write this and think of how two gay men would survive this type of relationship. Curiously enough, it got me thinking and writing.
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this story. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new chapters.

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Chapter Comments

LJCC
Just now, stefan7891 said:

i can't click fast enough. i have a feeling that this is going to be a very epic story masterfully written like you always do. like i'm really excited for this. is this already complete? cause don't you dare tease me with something this good. how dare you make me feel happy for a moment. ha ha.

 

I'll be posting this next year. And you're right...this is a teaser 😂

Sorry for keeping your hopes up.

But I'm awfully writing this at a faster pace. Probably because romantic stories are my jam.

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stefan7891
Just now, LJCC said:

I'll be posting this next year. And you're right...this is a teaser 😂

Sorry for keeping your hopes up.

But I'm awfully writing this at a faster pace. Probably because romantic stories are my jam.

here you go making me fall for characters i'll be reading months from now. i hate you. ha ha. but this teaser is really really good. like im actually watching a netflix documentary.

  • Love 3
LJCC
Just now, stefan7891 said:

here you go making me fall for characters i'll be reading months from now. i hate you. ha ha. but this teaser is really really good. like im actually watching a netflix documentary.

 

Sorry. My bad. 😆

But I always post stories ahead, so I won't be fickle-minded about repeatedly changing things up.

That way, I actually get to finish writing this. 

Because I will finish this...I'm already invested in the story that I've dreamt of them for two nights in a row, which forced me to finally write things down and end their yammering in my head.

 

  • Love 3
LJCC
35 minutes ago, VBlew said:

This sounds really interesting. Looking forward to it. Even if we have to wait a little while.

 

It's been very interesting so far.

The Netflix interview sitdown is written in present tense, while the bulk of the story is written in 3rd Person POV.

It's basically a Netflix documentary interview on every major episode or chapter.

I'm definitely having fun writing this. 😁

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Jason Rimbaud

This is by far the weirdest beginning to a story I've ever seen. Adding media files and presenting it as a visual medium in the form of a documentary is just bizarre to my tiny brain. 

When I first read the premise of your story, I was instantly intrigued. I've been on lots of third dates and barely could stand the person that was attached to the dick I was wanting. So being stuck with someone for that long of time in another country lends itself to some many twists and turns and fodder for some fun storytelling.

I love that idea and had one similar in regards to being stuck in a house with people you don't know or like during Covid.

But then you present a chapter? introduction? in such a way that you know they are together at least long enough to have a Doc filmed about their lives. For me it takes out the will they or won't they aspect I was looking for. And presented like a transcript of a show is off putting. 

I have never read any of your other work so I almost dipped out after reading that because it's just so different. But then you said in the comments that the rest of the story takes place in third person so because I love your premise, I'm going to go along, cautiously, to see how you bring your idea to life. 

Above you said new content should be available in June or July, even though it's almost September with nothing new yet, I'm going to follow this story so I'll get notified when you post something new. I'll go along and let you take me where your mind wills. 

J

 

LJCC
2 hours ago, Jason Rimbaud said:

I've been on lots of third dates and barely could stand the person that was attached to the dick I was wanting.

😂😂😂 Sorry about that.
 

2 hours ago, Jason Rimbaud said:

This is by far the weirdest beginning to a story I've ever seen. Adding media files and presenting it as a visual medium in the form of a documentary is just bizarre to my tiny brain. 

Yeah, my beta reader also commented on that part that the beginning doesn't make sense for him, but he's on board now, I believe (I think.)

Right @drown? 😂

I'm still working on writing towards the end, so the beginning (the one you've read) will definitely change once I write that part, because the ending and the beginning (this part) will have a very important connection.

Quote

I have never read any of your other work so I almost dipped out after reading that because it's just so different. But then you said in the comments that the rest of the story takes place in third person so because I love your premise, I'm going to go along, cautiously, to see how you bring your idea to life. 


Here's the link of the 3rd POV narrative I put as an excerpt: 

Also, the excerpt:

Story Excerpt, taken from Scene 1, Chapter 8: Relationships? Advice—Anyone?

As twilight settled in, the running lights danced along the inlet, their glow seeping through the large, clear window. A glass of wine sat untouched on the table, with the other glass sipped clean and bonedry. Klebber was at the corner table. Seated across was Sargeant Morone. They were outside the terrace, their gazes fixed on the docks and the Brooklyn Bridge. The ambient light underlined Klebber's hair and his lashes, framing his right eye. He had worn a winter's topcoat for the night, with an open vest revealing his collarbone and chest—a seductive way to end things.

Why did he wear such an outfit if his intention was to break someone's heart?

Hearing the words that wavered out of Klebber's lips, Sergeant Morone struggled with his own thoughts that gnawed in his chest. But he knew he had to say it. There was no other way.

With a mournful smile, the officer left a couple of ten-dollar bills on the table, his eyes locked on his beauteous date. "If you ever have a change of heart, you know where to find me," he whispered. Getting up from his chair, he planted a tender kiss on Klebber's cheeks, and in the blink of an eye, he hauled a cab and vanished into the city's nocturne—likely to seek the company of libations at a local gay bar to drown out his sorrows.

Klebber held his mouth. Moist welled up in his eyes, threatening to overflow. He hurriedly left the restaurant, seeking to abate feelings of loneliness on the familiar bench just across the restaurant overlooking the East River.

Klebber's always been like this—locked up tight, never letting anyone get too close. He'd always share the story of his late husband with his dates, thinking it would make them understand why he had chosen to be alone. But deep down, his heart has been shattered three times. First, by his twin brother. Next, by his father. And then by Adam. Subjecting himself to another heartbreak would be asking for it. So he'd rather protect himself from getting hurt again than risk falling in love and having it all ripped away.

Meters ahead, parked near the restaurant, a 2020 white Lexus LX sat idly, its hazard lights blinking. Inside the car, Dennis put down the binoculars and turned to Marissa, seated at the back, a quizzical expression on his face, and asked, "What's up with your uncle? It seemed like he ended things with that guy, but why does he look so down? Don't tell me he's catching feelings for that loser!"

With a chicken nugget in hand, Marissa dipped it into the barbecue sauce and said between bites, "Auntie Tamara said that Uncle Klebber has a big problem with getting attached to anyone. She said he still loves Uncle Adam."

 

So, yeah. The majority is told in a 3rd POV story, not from an interview perspective. Otherwise, it would be weird to write almost 190k++ words of pure transcript. Haha. That would be exhausting to read, and I don't want to drive readers crazy. :D

 

3 hours ago, Jason Rimbaud said:

Above you said new content should be available in June or July, even though it's almost September with nothing new yet, I'm going to follow this story so I'll get notified when you post something new. I'll go along and let you take me where your mind wills. 

One thing I value more as a writer is quality over quantity. If you happen to browse any of my stories, you'd know what I mean.

My pedantic self would never allow such to compromise my work. So yeah, I'd rather put out something I'd be happy to read ten years from now and say, "I fucking did that...damn," than say, "Shit! I forgot to put a period and there's a run-on sentence. WTF." 

Anyway, I've been working on the story for nearly a year now. Originally, I wrote around 40k+ words, but lost it when my laptop died and I forgot to save it. I stepped back around for a few months and asked myself if I really wanted to write this again, and seeing as the plot, the characters, and the world this story is were living in my mind rent-free where I couldn't evict them, I knew I had to keep on writing this.

I keep posting updates here:

Previously at 144k words on the day of this posting (06/01/24).

Previously at 159k words on the day of this posting (07/01/24).

Currently at 173k words on the day of this posting (08/01/24).

To show that I'm working on this until I finish it.

Currently, as of this writing, it's at 190k+ words now.

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