A Payback Backfired - 1. Chapter 1

This is an apology to my boss, Mark92 and his man Agaith. I am truly sorry guys.

It has no beta or editor; and I am no author. I am Baz, a twenty eight year old farmhand.

It is common knowledge now that Mark is the prankster, the numerous tricks he has played have already been told. There are many that have not. And on occasion I do get him back. This is the one instance when I pushed payback way too far.

A large box arrived at the farm addressed to me. The name of the company that sent it, was in large black letters and easy to see.

Mark had grinned; he was impressed at the length I was going to get payback.

“So this is the company that wants me to do all the modelling is it?” He chuckled.

I just grinned back and nodded. I opened the package to find a couple of fleeces, a t-shirt, a beanie hat and some overalls.

Mark watched me open everything, he was really impressed.

“How much did that lot cost you, idiot? I must be paying you too much.”

“It didn’t cost anything, its advertising,” I smiled back.

He didn’t believe me, but that was part of the plot. He was letting me play my prank, playing along was as funny to him as all his pranks had been on me.

The gate bell sounded, and I got up to go and answer it. It was a good twenty minutes walking but I would go in my car.

“So you know who it is then?” Mark asked. “Greg has already been and Sam wouldn’t let anyone up here unless I told him too.”

“Yeah, I told Sam yesterday I had a friend coming over. His name is Alan Foster and he does the pictures I use on the porn discs.” I smiled. “Don’t get all paranoid he isn’t here to spy on you.” I added.

“Oh so he’s your photographer?” Mark smirked. “Right I get it,” He nodded sarcastically.

I grabbed my keys and jogged outside. Telling Max I would be right back as he ran round to the passenger side. He had taken to me for some reason; it was cute to see him so eager to please.

As I drove down the uneven track, I thought back on my time here. The first time back was in February. When Luke and I had turned up to volunteer for work, that’s what we did it was a volunteer job. To assist a young farmer who had been struck down with an infection and couldn’t look after his farm or his animals.

Mark has already told that story, so I don’t have to. He recovered after a few weeks and Luke and I were sent away. Only Luke came back and got a part-time job with Mark. While I was sent over to a farm in Ayslaby, it was nearer my home in Sleights.

I lived with my mum, yeah, at twenty eight I had no real ambition, and I still don’t.

I was a volunteer that helped out young farmers in trouble, a common labourer. No real skills just a willingness to help. Luke had put me up to it. We were friends before I joined. I digress.

My other “paid” hobby was legally making porn to sell at rock bottom prices, and the other more shameful hobby was I write computer programmes for ZX Spectrums. There is still a small cliché of us.

I am pretty hopeless with the modern stuff and steer clear of trying any repairs. I’ve cocked so many up in the past.

I am shy, very shy. But that is my story not this one.

Alan waved as I approached the gate. He was laden with various equipment bags and I let him in.

“Thanks Alan, he’s totally playing along, he really thinks this is all fake.” I laughed.

Alan placed his bags on the back seat and then got in the passenger seat.

“You said he’s a recluse Baz, are you sure he’s ok with this? I don’t want to scare the guy,” Alan asked as we went back towards the farm.

“Just don’t get too close and don’t touch him, or he’ll freak out. I told you the damage his mum caused, just don’t mention her OK?” I looked at Alan and he nodded in agreement.

So we arrived at the farm, Mark nodded and gave a small smile and said “How do.” I could almost taste the nervous tension. Mark was straining to be nice, to be polite. And it was obvious. All he wanted to do was run. But he relaxed a little and smiled. The will power Mark has is remarkable.

So the session began. Mark pulled on the various items of clothing, and Alan took pictures.

The whole thing lasted an hour, tops.

I took Alan back to the gate, he’d left his car with Sam, and the two mile track to Mark’s farm was only taken by the fearless. It needed repairing and badly. Sam was too old to do it, and Mark needed to get past the gate.

I got back to the farm to find Mark folding the clothes up neatly, and placing them back in their bags.

“They are freebies you know? You can keep them,” I said.

“You paid for em, you keep em” he replied and handed me the neatly packed box.

He cocked his head sideways and gave me a look, “So that is the prank is it? Where does it go from here?” He was smiling from ear to ear; he really was fully taken in.

“Just wait and see,” I shrugged and took the box upstairs to my room.

Things carried on as normal after that. I think he had totally forgotten about the entire episode.

Then one morning Greg brought up the mail. He was Mark’s postman and only had a few houses to visit on the long, long main road. He would leave his van on Sam’s land and walk the rest of the way.

Greg was invited in and we all sat down to have a drink. And Greg gave Mark the mail he had. One of the items was the quarterly pig magazine. Mark as usual discarded most of the post and then sat back to open up the magazine. While Greg and I talked about the local pubs dart team.

I was watching Mark out of the corner of my eye. I saw his fingers clench the magazine tighter. They were turning white. I couldn’t see his face, as he held the magazine up in front of him. I knew he wouldn’t say a word while Greg was there. Mark was far too proud to show any emotion in front of others. He calmly stood and turned away quickly to cover his face. His neck was purple. That’s all I could see. My heart sank. What had I done?

I quickly talked Greg into leaving. This wasn’t supposed to be the outcome. Mark should be laughing and swearing at me.

I waved Greg away and returned to the house. The magazine was laid on the floor and Mark was gone. I sighed deeply; I knew I had gone too far. I couldn’t tell anyone, I couldn’t ask for help. Would Stu be as angry too?

I picked up the magazine and turned to the clothing section. And there they were several pictures of Mark in the clothing, only half of the pictures that had been taken. The other models were farmers too. They weren’t models just farmers. It was a pig magazine, aimed directly at farmers. How could he be this upset?

I placed the mag down on the table and whistled Max to join me. I walked to the wood to look for Mark. He always came here when he felt scared or threatened. Sitting down beside the entrance to the underground den. I tapped quietly on the wooden door and waited.

“I am sorry Mark, truly sorry, forgive me?” There was only silence in return.

I made myself more comfortable and Max sniffed at the door and whined. He was used to making Mark feel better, not being shut out. He whined again and scratched at the ground. He knew Mark was upset. I don’t know how, he always did.

Three hours later I got up and went back to the farm, I will make lunch I thought. He’s bound to come home for that. Max stayed behind, he wasn’t going to leave his master at any cost.

It was turning dark when Mark got back. It was Thursday, and Stu would be back soon from the labs.

He grabbed up some food, and a few beers, and then stripped off and changed into his baggies. There was no shame for Mark, he’d strip off anywhere. He made himself comfortable at his desk and fired up the PC. He would be ready and waiting when Stu came online. He always was.

I watched from the couch as his face lit up, Stu was online and Mark was happy. I then quietly went off to the annex. They didn’t need me around, and I didn’t want to be there when Mark told Stu what had happened.

It was several days later I found out he hadn’t told Stu about the incident, he hadn’t mentioned it at all. He called me over to the PC. He had tried to rub out the wording on the beanie hat, instead leaving a big white square.

“I’m going to send my baby a couple of these pictures, but he is never to find out what I did, what you did,” He looked away sadly. “He’s gone to get his dinner, so I’ll send them when he gets back.”

Stu persuaded Mark to let him put his pic up in GA, it wasn’t easy. Mark was and is a very private man. Good comments came thick and fast and Mark started to believe that he might be good looking after all, that the “Ugly slug” was no more.

And then it happened, one member found a link to the magazine and posted it in the thread.

Mark was devastated, he wrote to the moderators after telling Stu. Mark was desperate, crying even threatening to leave GA. It was Stu who persuaded him to stay.

The post was removed and so was Mark’s picture. And that is why he doesn’t have one. I have caused him to recede back into his shell. It’s my fault. And right now I would gladly step into a thousand set mouse traps, if it would make my boss laugh again.

I am truly, truly Sorry, Mark and Stu.

My name is Barry Harris, and I am writing this on Mark’s PC. I have asked him to post it, as it is.