No Heart- No Problems - 2. Chapter 2

Hot hamburger 5.50 . I wiped the table.
Chicken salad 4.55 . Looking up, I noticed that the elderly couple from table 4 were leaving. Supper at Flore's was always packed with old people.
I let Karen take the tip and moved to clean the table, all the while reciting the menu.
Pork chops 5.30 .
"Stan." looking up I saw Alexis standing before me, fiddling with a few papers." I have a school application for you". Alexis was Flore's diner owner. Her mother founded the place, and when she retired, Alexis took over. When I came looking for a job two months earlier, Alexis took me in immediately. The only problem was..
I sighed. "Alex... I'm not interested." taking a moment to look her square in the eyes, I moved on to the next table, hoping she won't follow.
She did. "Stanley!" I bared my teeth quietly to myself, but tried to ignore her. "Stan. you can't go on like this."
"yes, ma'am I can." I threw back at her. She hated being called a ma'am. Almost as much as I hated being called Stanley.
"you have to go to school" she ignored me. "you are still young. these days people are expected to have high-school diplomas. if you want to get into any kind of jo-"
"I have a job" I cut her off. "I'm a busboy at your diner. its what I'm doing right now." I took a moment to wave my rug at her, and continued aloud "Fantail shrimp 6.40"
"and those are your ambitions in life?" she kept following me, this time blocking my path. "a local diner's waiter?"
"yes." I looked up at her. Even forty year old ladies were higher than me. "this is a fine establishment, it will be my pleasure working here until the day I die." she had to smile a t that, so I side stepped her, and attacked the counter with the wiping rug.
"you do know I refuse to have managers who did not finish high school?" she called after me, and I froze. "there is no way for you to keep on going on a busboy's salary."
I took a step away from the counter, and turned back to her. "Alexis. I fully intend to keep working here until you fire me or sell the place. If I wont be any more than a waiter, so be it. I can always get a second job." turning my eyes away from her, I left the rug and moved on to wash the floor. "I have some money in my account. right now, this is not an issue"
she sighed, and let the papers slide from her hand to the table.

Ten minutes later, when I was done with the floor, I felt Alexis move towards me again. She held out her hand towards me with some money in it. "your tip" she offered, and raised an eyebrow "you know we share it around here".
I heard Karen coming out of the locker room, but didn't look back. She passed me on the way to the door, and this time she didn't bother to "accidentally" kick my bucket. Probably saw Alex and thought better of it. "bye Alexis! see you tomorrow." and strode through the open door, kicking it closed behind her.

When she was gone, I took the money from Alex, and she put her hand on my shoulder. "I know that you believe you only have yourself to think about..." she averted her eyes. "but you never know. one day you might want kids, a home..." I closed my eyes at her words. For a second I saw that picture in my mind. The house. The picket fence. The dog playing with the kids in the yard. And from inside, humming that tune, Jon- and the picture dissolved instantly. I opened my eyes. She knew what I was from the start.
Setting up my poker face again, I looked at her again. "no, Alexis. I wont want any kids. and I wont have that type of home." I walked away from her, and got into the locker room. "never" I said quietly to myself, and took my bag.

---
"God I'm horny!" were the first words that came out of my mind and mouth as I got in, and flopped on the sofa in my new apartment. Living alone had a few misgivings after all. I was sixteen when I met HIM, and he made sure I was never left dissatisfied since. Of course, this was all in the past. Now I was left to fend for myself, on all lines and in every meaning.

I briefly considered catching a cab to the neighboring city, but left the idea sit. My second week in town I did just that, after the realization hit, and on my third trip there I saw Casey a cop from town who used to pass by the diner every day, do the same thing.
Sure the guy was hot, but I was neither eighteen nor twenty one, and some things are not covered by emancipation. After that, I made sure to avoid that city all together, but... this was a problem.

Finding a guy in town was never an option for me. The place was small in the everyone-knows-everything kind of way, preventing any chance for casual relationships. And I doubted Casey was going to allow me any slack if I went up to him. Cops didn't usually take minors as sex friends, that I knew well.
So for a while I just sat there, looking at the ceiling with the stained corners, and eventually decided to let it be. Without a living, breathing man beside me, I always ended up thinking of him, anyway.
Mind over matter, mind over matter!!
getting up, I picked the bag from the floor, and started unpacking it. The tip, a pack of Cheetos, my wallet.... and folded at the bottom were....
"Alexis!" I let out an exasperated sigh, and looked at the school application in my hands. The local community high school, which started in a two weeks time. I once heard Karen talking on the phone with her friend about it, and how glad she is her parents will allow her to quit work at the beginning of the school year.

I knew Alexis meant well in forcing the papers on me. I was sure she will also keep on pushing tomorrow. That was just how she was, and nothing will ever change her mind about teenagers and high school, having a mother who never went to school beyond junior high, nor never getting out of town to attend college herself. But I owed her too much, and only recently I began to realize how lucky I was to stumble upon her and her one-employee-short diner when I left my home town. She accepted me immediately, without checking too much into my past over the credibility of my documents, and never pried on my personal life, high school aside.
Eventually I sat the papers down on the table. I couldn't throw them away, but going through them was pointless.

I was hungry in more ways than one, but settled on making myself an omelette from the ingredients in my newly acquired, second-hand mini refrigerator. Soon, I decided, I will have to buy a T.V .
And acquire some videos.

---
The next morning was Sunday. Alex made me take those off, on account of me needing rest, net being the energizer bunny. According to her, no ne can keep working forever.
I could challenge both those statements, but then I reconsidered. Ahe might think something is wrong with me if I'm working too much. Next thing I know she'll start believing I'm having money problems, or that I'm drowning myself at work to escape something.
But money was not an issue for me, at least not for now. Jonathan was kind enough to provide me with many months living expenses, and overdid himself, not taking in the fact that I might not keep a deluxe apartment in a good area after I leave him. My current place was good enough for me, though.

The sun rays from the open window woke me up, so I shut off the curtains on my way back to the tiled area I called "the kitchen" to make myself a coffee. I considered my options for the day.
I could go back to sleep. I could do the usual and sulk inside or day, as I did for the past month. From the corner of my eye I saw the light peeking from the not-fully-drawn curtains.
It was a nice day. When I approached it with my cup and looked down, I could see the town slowly coming back to life. Young parents pushing strollers down the street to the park, some couples, oblivious to the world around them, and a group of kids, sneaking around as if believing no one will notice. I smiled briefly at the sight, but then a sharp pain caused me to yank the curtain closed.

Setting the cup down, I took a deep breath. People without a heart do not get heart ache.
I need to get out.
Maybe later.