No Heart- No Problems - 5. Chapter 5

From the day Brian invited me over to his place and forward, I noticed a change in his behavior towards me.
Before, he took the effort to politely grunt at me in the morning, followed by a tactful yawn in the face.
After that, he ignored me good naturedly until dawn, when he kept attempting to generously scam some of mine and Karen's tips.

But after our so called "bonding" session in the apartment, everything about his demeanor towards me changed.
Instead of the well placed yawn in my face, what I got the morning after was an excited wave and a friendly one-armed hug.
During the day, while I expected to be blissfully ignored, Brian kept calling me back to the kitchen so I could try some of his new experiments.

That same day after my promotion, when Casey showed up for breakfast in the diner early in the morning, early even for him.
Noting that Alex was busy in her small office near the kitchen, I was the one got behind the counter to greet him, leaving Brian to go back to the kitchen.
When I was done taking his order, and passed it over to Brian, both me and Casey were left in an awkward silence.
Me, because I was aware that the man in front of me was interested, and Casey was quiet only because he was chickenshit cop who just found out he might have a taste for teenagers, or, at least, that was what I thought.
But before long, the silence was broken by a nervous cough coming from said cops direction.
"you changed your hair back... from what it was yesterday?" he looked at me, all flushed, and tried to see through my bags bangs.
I turned my eyes away from him, and inspected the too-clean counter "it feels more natural to me this way" I said.
"oh" when I looked back at him he was even redder than before, completely embarrassed.
On some level, it was cute.
On another level, seeing this big man in his twenties acting like a love sick school girl, was disgusting.

For a few minutes we slipped back to the awkward silence, but then he went at it again. "so Stan, huh."
"yep, that's my name.." I allowed myself a smirk "you've been using it for a while now"
"yeah" he beamed at my response "you've been in town, what, two weeks now?"
I raised my eyebrows in shock at that. "two months actually" I watched his face turn redder, and then pale "guess you haven't noticed me around. after all" my voice was icy as I looked him in the eyes "I only got promoted to waiter yesterday."
Noticing the change in my tone, chickencop got paler.
"uh.. I didn't mean to.. you know.." he trailed off, dropping his eyes, and rubbing the back of his neck.
I kept staring down at him. I knew he only liked me for the fancy uniform and shoved away hair! but then he bounced back again.
"so what is there for a young person like you to find around here?" he smiled weakly at me from the depths of his despair.
"a job" I said. "a place to live." when he looked as if he wanted me to continue, I said "its a nice town"
"yeah, it is." he smiled. "actually, i'm not living here for a long time either." he suddenly said. That perked up my curiousity.
He looked all the part of a small town cop, so i said so. "really? you look like you really fit in here"
"you think so?" he beamed at me again. "I'm glad to hear it. I've been trying really hard for the past year." then he scrunched his face in annoyance. "have a problem remembeing names and such of the people, though."
"is that so...?" i muttered, suddenly uninterested.
When it was clear I wasn't about to say anything else "but not many graduates move in here unless they were from here in the first place."
That sentence set off an alarm bell in my head. he couldn't think....

"ready!" Brian roared from the kitchen, and I hastily moved away from the counter to get Casey's order.
I couldn't believe the crap coming out of his mouth, so it was a great relief when the second I placed the plate in front of the cop, more people came in through the door and I was busy enough to stay away from him until Alexis came out to collect his check and shoo him away to work.

I tried not to think of him too much throughout the day, but during lunch, in which I was force fed Brian's new inventions for the menu, the subject came up.
"so what is it with that cop... Casey, right?" he asked me while shoving some more lettuce to my plate.
"yeeeeep." I instantly frowned and tried to shove the plate away from me, but Brian wasn't having it, and shoved it right back at me.
"I don't like him" he said through clenched teeth, catching me off guard. "he looks at you funny"

When he said that, I took a good look at him, but seeing nothing suspicious there, I dropped it and grumbled to my food "yeah, I noticed..."
"right?" Brian instantly perked up, and continued "he's all blushie and shy and the bees and the birds around you!"
I made a puking sound, before taking my next bite, and Brian shuddered "creepy old guy."
"you know" I chewed "he's only three years older then you."
But that seemed to be the wrong thing to say, because now Brian frowned as well,and looked at me like he tried to figure something out.
"never mind" he finally said, scowling away from me. "Cops are always so full of themselves, looking down on us as if we owe them our lives."
I was surprised that he would say such a thing, but before I could reply, he went on. "Say one thing wrong or do anything they dislike and you're walking on eggshells."
what he said didn't sound like Casey at all. actually, it sounded more like me!

"Brian" I had to stop him. he wasn't making any sense. "you know that Casey's not like that!" when he didn't look convinced, I asked in a quieter tone "when did he ever looked down on you?" and with an afterthought berated myself for defending the chickenshit cop.
I waved that thought from my head, and looked at Brian with confusion.
What was his issue with Casey?
Brian looked a bit abashed and dropped the scowl. "well..." he tried, but when I kept looking at him expectantly, he gave up "never."

I sighed and tried to put the conversation another way, but Brian spoke up again. "I just don't like him, and..." he looked at me with anxious eyes, but then reconsidered again, and broke off.
Seeing him so uncomfortable, I returned to my efforts to steer the conversation away from Casey.
"wonder when Alexis will hire a new busboy" I thought aloud, allowing Brian to compose himself, and smile my way appreciatively.

For the rest of the day, we worked, and talked about nonsense, and when work was done, and we both stored our brooms away for the glorious ceremony of the tip-splitting, I somehow ended up with three fourths of the cash in my hand, while Brian moved on back to the kitchen, happily humming on his way.
None of it made sense to me at all, until later, I found myself sent on my merry way out of the diner, with two bags of leftovers in my hands.
At that moment I realized the horrifying truth.
Brian, it seems, was a closet mother hen.
And I.... was his brand new baby chicken. when that realisation hit, all I could do was sigh to myself, face palm, and resign to my fate.

Because even then I knew.
Brian Frost, twenty, was not a man who could be stopped by any natural force.
Come to think about it, I always did want a big brother. be careful what you wish for, is all I can say.

----

In the dim, candle lit room, I was held, laying in his strong arms.
His breath caressed the nape of my neck, and it felt so nice.... I could feel his hands roam all over my chest, my arms.. The hand that slid up my thigh....
I let out a moan, trying to tell him how good it felt, but not having enough strength to form the words.
I felt his wavy brown hair fall on my forehead as he leant down to kiss my head, gently, lovingly. I closed my eyes at the touch, allowing it, him, to consume me, while I laid there. soon, his hands became more persistent, demanding.
Slowly, carefully, he undressed me, relieving me of my shirt, my shoes and socks.... I grunted, annoyed, and pulled his hand to place it at the front of my pants. I wasn't some breakable porcelain doll, I was a man! and I wanted, needed for him to hold me with as much force as he could.
He chuckled to my ear, amused at my irritation with him. before I could protest, he left the fly of my pants, and used both his hands to pick me up.
Being much taller and stronger than me, he could do it so easily...
He stood up, holding me, and then we both landed on the living room rug.
Adjusting himself on top of me, Jon returned his hands to my pants, and slid them down, slowly, from my hips.
Through my haze, I slowly opened my eyes to look at his face, but something on my peripheral vision grabbed my attention.
I could see something read, and round... a rose? there were a few petals scattered around...
But it moved. I could see it jerking on the floor, a few meters away from the rug, so close to the door...
"Jon..." I tried to grab his attention... something felt wrong! I looked back and the object, this time seeing it for what it was. laying there, beating its last beats, was a heart.
With a mortificating realization I realized it was mine.
My heart, there on the floor!
Quickly turning to face Jon, he was no longer on top of me. He stood a little distance away holding my duffel bag.
"you are moving out!" I heard, before everything turned black and disappeared.
"no!" I tried to scream but I didn't hear my voice.

I woke up in the middle of the night, all tangled up in my bed wear.
My blanket was wrapped around my legs, and my pillow was on the floor.
Breathing heavily, I reached out in the dart to turn the light on my alarm clock. Three forty am.
I took a deep breath, and began working on the untangle of the blanket from my legs.
It was a dream. I kept repeating to myself. All a dream.
But it didn't work. because I knew it wasn't just a dream. It was a nightmare.
A nightmare that came true two months ago. And I just got a reminder of it.
Collapsing back to the bed, I was even more resolved than ever to keep away from problems.

I will not be hurt again.