Brandon Smiling: From the Billy Chase Chronicles (2) - 32. Entry 32

Saturday

I needed a break from everything Billy related today…

I’ve been so tied up in knots about it for so long I guess it’s starting to show.

My Dad thought I might be stressing about school or about Marie leaving so he relieved me of my usual Saturday duties like mowing the lawn and weeding the back garden. I couldn’t tell him what was really eating me. I couldn’t tell him about Billy and how he’s driving me completely crazy with his game of keep-away with his heart.

It was, kind of, unfortunate that my Dad kept me from my usual chores because they would have been a distraction from the…hurt in my heart. So, I had to distract myself today. Gaming wasn’t going to be enough so I figured I’d go out.

I took a bus trip down to the Mall. I went by myself like I sometimes do. I can walk around, shop a bit, eat junky Mall food…that sort of thing. It wasn’t really helping until I bumped into Stevie coming out of his favorite Specters shop. The place sells weird items like dirty prank items, nose rings, lip studs, off-color t-shirts, adult games and stuff like that. The kind of stuff they try to chase kids under the age of 18 away from.

He was surprised and excited to see me, which was nice for a change. Billy’s been so distracted by his other conquests he didn’t have much time for me today, I guess. No phone calls, emails, or anything.

“So, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Everything cool?” Stevie asked as we walked along. I really didn’t know how to answer that question. So much of my mental energy has been caught up with Billy or school…but, mostly Billy! I guess, someone could call me completely obsessed. Ever since we played ‘footsie’ in bed that one day, he’s been all I’ve been able to think about.

“Yeah. Pretty much. School’s been a drag lately. I guess I’ve been preoccupied by that. I haven’t been going out that much. That’s probably why I decided to come out here today. I needed to get away for a while.” I answered. I, of course, couldn’t tell Stevie everything going on in my mind without completely Outing myself. I’m definitely not ready to do that with Stevie yet even though, of all the people I know other than Chandler, he’s probably the only one that would understand.

“Yeah. I know what you mean. Benji’s always telling me, though, that you shouldn’t take things like school so seriously. He tells me that it’s good to know things, but it’s better to understand how life works and how people work. He’s pretty smart about things like that and he manages to get by at school just fine and still have time for skating and friends.” Stevie said.

I’d forgotten about Benji! Geeze, how could I forget about him? I guess, I’ve been avoiding meeting with him for fear of losing myself to him like Billy could lose himself to Jamie. Unlike Jamie, however, I know pretty well that Benji might like me…in that way. He’s always flirty with me when we talk. It’s been me that’s been holding back there…just like it’s me holding back with Billy!

I’ve got to make some decisions! I’ve got to make a leap of faith and just accept myself for what I am and try something with Billy or Benji or even Stevie!

Anyway, I replied to Stevie: “Benji is pretty wise for a guy his age.”

“He really is! He’s always telling me to live my life now! Don’t wait for the future. It might not ever come!” Stevie said with feeling.

That was a disturbing thought. We need to live life now because tomorrow may never come? I guess that’s another way of looking at life. We’re all trained to plan for the future and prepare, but at the expense of the present. ‘Work hard now and it will make things easier in the future.’ That’s the message that school, parents, and all of society seems to pound down our throats as teenagers. But, then there’s the Benjies of the world out there that insist that you live in the moment and enjoy life as it comes or you miss it!

Whose right and whose wrong on that or is there a little right and a little wrong in both ways of thinking? Damned if I know.

All this was running through my head, when Stevie made a strangely off-hand comment, “Fuck me…there’s that total whore! Doesn’t he have anywhere else to be but here trolling?”

“Who are you talking about?” I was rather shocked when Stevie pointed his chin in the direction of that guy I met that time I first laid eyes on Billy. AJ is his name as I remember from the note he slipped me that day. There’s someone I’d almost completely forgotten about!

“You know AJ?” I asked, unintentionally letting on that I knew more about him than Stevie thought I would.

“Oh…so he came on to you too, huh? I swear he’s picked on every fucking guy that’s ever wandered into this Mall. Like I said…WHORE!” I nearly jumped out of my skin as Stevie actually yelled that at AJ as he and a friend of his got close enough.

Fortunately, all AJ did was roll his eyes at Stevie and AJ’s new ‘friend’ just looked confused. I expected Stevie to have caused a total throw-down with AJ yelling something like that at another guy!

“Stevie! Geeze, dude!” I grabbed Stevie by his skinny arm and whispered harshly into his ear! Stevie jerked his arm away and glared at me.

“ ‘Dude’…If you only knew!” Stevie said with a bit more hurt in his eyes than I was expecting.

I left it alone, though it, kind of, confirmed my suspicions about Stevie. Something went on between him and AJ, obviously. I already figured that this AJ is openly Gay by his actually hitting on me that one day. Put two and two together…

We continued on and didn’t talk anymore about AJ or whoever. We ended up in the music store…one of the few left in the world it would seem…just to rummage through the stacks.

This was something Stevie loved to do and he got me interested in it too. I never really thought of looking through old records and CDs as ‘fun’ before meeting Stevie, but his knowledge of music and the history of the bands he’d find is amazing!

We were browsing and Stevie was explaining when this older guy came up with a big smile on his face. He must have been in his 20s. You know…old like that. I was stunned by how handsome he was! Big blue eyes, dark hair, perfect skin with no moles or pimples or anything and a strong jawline! He reminded me of that guy who played Superman in that really old movie from like the 70s or whatever!

“Will wonders never cease! A couple of teenagers in a record store! I never thought I’d see that near-extinct species ever again!” The guy said, his bright white smile never leaving his face.

“Hey!” Stevie and I said in way of saying ‘Hi’.

“ ‘Hey’ yourselves. Whatchaguys looking for?” The guy was tall so he could easily look over our shoulders to see what Stevie was rummaging through.

“Wow! David Bowie fans? It’s got to be true then…the Starman appeals to every generation!” The guy said. I had no idea what he was talking about, but Stevie seemed to.

“Oh, yeah! That’s one of my favs from him! Bowie was the fucking bomb back in the day! My favorite band ‘Twilight Garden’ talked about him during an interview I saw on YourTV. They said Bowie was one of their biggest influences so I looked him up on my streaming service and ‘Starman’ was like the first song to come up! I had no idea that there was great music like that from way back in the 1900s!” Stevie said excitedly.

The guy laughed a full belly-laugh that got me to laugh too…even though I had no idea what I was laughing at. His laugh was just infectious.

“Wow, don’t let my dad catch you talking about the 1970s like that. He may have been a kid back then, but he still doesn’t consider himself that old either…even though he is!” The guy said with a chuckle.

“My name is Greg, by the way!” He stuck out his hand and we both shook it. I remember he had nice smooth hands!

“Speaking of ‘Twilight Garden’, have you seen their new LP?” Another cute 20-something appeared. He had a name badge reading ‘Ollie’. He was hovering around the ‘T’ section of the record bin.

“What’s an ‘LP’?” Stevie wanted to know.

“Oh, sorry…that’s what we record types call vinyl records. It stands for ‘Long Playing’ meaning that there’s a full album of music on both sides of the record rather than, say, just two songs.” Ollie explained. He had a slight lisp and acted a little effeminately so, to me, it was obvious he was Gay.

Ollie pulled a record from the stack and it had ‘darkish’ art on it like a graveyard and a spirit lady…stuff I figured Stevie would be into.

Stevie nearly ran over to Ollie and took the record from him looking at both sides of the thin square package.

“OMG! I never get to see the art on their covers this good on Musify! It’s always so tiny unless I blow it up! This is SO COOL!” Stevie said…until he saw the top corner of the record where the price-tag was. Then he looked a little sad.

Ollie winked at Greg and said, “I think we’ve hooked another vinyl addict!”

I looked at the price and saw they were asking $25 for it. As it turned out, I had just enough to cover it from what my Dad gave me for shopping money.

“You want it?” I asked Stevie.

“Sure, but I don’t have enough money.” He looked sad. I’ve always had the feeling Stevie isn’t very well off. I can tell by how he’s always looking for bargains in t-shirt racks and things.

“Also…I don’t have anything to play it on. I don’t own a record player.” Stevie looked doubly sad as he looked at the new ‘LP’ wrapped in its shiny plastic.

“Well, here’s a thing. You can always bring it in here and we’ll play it for you if you want the experience! You can enjoy the music while keeping the cover art and having it in your collection! That is…until you break down and buy your own record player that is.” Ollie suggested.

“Really?” Stevie asked with surprise.

But, then he looked back at the price and shook his head. He started to put the record back, but I took it before he could put it away.

“I’ll buy it. You can owe me later.” I said.

“Oh, dude! You don’t have to do that!” Stevie said.

“No worries, Stevie! What are friends for?” I said and then followed Ollie to the cash register.

“You are a prince! What’s your name?” Ollie asked.

“I’m Brandon. That’s Stevie.” I answered.

“Well, Stevie can’t have better friends, Brandon! I hope to see you guys here again soon!” Ollie said with a smile. Wow, I know another Gay guy in town! We’re all over!

I handed the plastic bag with Stevie’s new prize to him. He was all smiles and couldn’t help but to take the record out and look at it again.

“Thanks Brandon! You’re my best friend!” Stevie said and he almost sounded like he was about to cry!

I, kind of, nudged him with my elbow and suggested we get some Chinese food at the food court.

I feel good about doing that for Stevie. He’s been there for me when I’ve needed him. He deserves something nice, especially after what he puts up with in school.

This is His Highness, Prince Brandon of Records!