Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
New Experiences - 3. The Eye
The Eye
I have an eye in my side.
It lets me see the future.
I try not to use it too much.
I’ve found that if I spend all my time in the future
I lose perspective on the present.
The only time I allow myself
Or maybe the only time I’m weak enough
Is on first dates.
The temptation is too strong
But I have one rule - only a year.
I allow myself to look one year into the future
Any time I see someone new.
I follow the path laid out,
The potential they represent,
And then, inevitably, I end it there and then
There was this one guy, Andrew
He was an artist.
When I looked I saw us falling deeply in love
Almost immediately. We fit together perfectly
I’ve never known someone more like me.
Then, about eight months in
He was given an opportunity of a lifetime
A summer at an artists colony in the Netherlands
We talked about it.
I was sad that we would be apart but supportive (of course)
So he left. He was so happy
Out there surrounded by people like him
I was happy for him too, but very lonely
So I slept with a stranger one late night
When I told him it ruined him.
He left the residency to come talk it out with me
In the end we made it work
But he wasn’t allowed to go back
And it wasn’t long until the resentment set in
It was my fault, my fuckup ruined his dream
So, after our date, I never called Andrew again.
Better to spare us both the pain.
Then there was Dante.
A tax clerk. A little boring but very sweet.
Off and on for a couple months, then we fall out of touch
No use wasting the time.
Liam was a window washer.
The sex was amazing
But he was so… unambitious.
We would never work out long term.
I dread the idea of wasting time
I know exactly how long I have
(wouldn’t you look too if you had the chance?)
And I don’t want to spend a single minute
On something that isn’t worth it
Today the name is Cooper.
He’s nice, a little geeky for my tastes
But he has a great smile.
When I arrive he’s already there
A little booth in the corner.
I sit across from him.
He doesn’t even say hello
Jumps into a continuation of our text conversation
Like we’ve known each other for years
It’s jarring at first
But then we fall into it -
We argue about the artistic value of the MCU
We talk about our favorite songs
He likes old punk and new EDM
I like pop and broadway showtunes
(we both agree Taylor Swift is a delight)
Before we know it it’s almost midnight
The restaurant tells us they need to close
So he says “do you want to go home or…”
And to the bar we went
Dancing feels like falling in love
The club is crowded (it’s friday night after all)
bodies pressed together on the dance floor
Still, he’s closer to me than he needs to be
I can feel everything he wants me to feel and more
Sweat drips off of me or maybe him
We’re too close to tell
And it stings my eye
I feel tears well up,
But I’m too busy kissing him to care
We wake up in his bedroom
The walls are pasted in posters
Anime characters and punk icons
Sheet music and paintings of alien landscapes
It’s a lot for the eye to take in
The eye!
This is the longest I’ve gone
without checking (maybe ever?)
I’m about to look when I see Connor
Asleep next to me in his bed
His face is…
Something I can’t put my finger on
But it’s really captivating
When he sleeps
I find myself wanting to kiss him without knowing why.
Maybe…
maybe I hold off just this once.
See how things go?
Just for a few more dates.
No.
If it’s not going to go
anywhere (useful)
I want to know now.
So I close my eyes
And open my eye
We don’t talk for a month after that first time
I’m avoiding him for some reason
(I can only see with my eye,
even I don’t know what I’m thinking)
Eventually one night I call him
He answers on the second ring
I’ve hurt him, I can see that
But he agrees to meet
We talk it out, I can’t tell what we say
I’ve never been very good at reading lips
But whatever I say it works
We see each other again
And again after that
Eventually I move into his place
It’s fast, faster than usual for me
But I can see how much I love him,
So it makes sense.
I’m waiting, I realize,
for the other shoe to drop
But we are just… happy
We argue sometimes
but always talk it out in the end
He’s sweet and attentive
We find a middle ground between our interests
I even see myself become a better person in his arms
Then the year ends and I’m back in his bed
Confused
I’ve never seen it happen like that
A frictionless year?
I’m tempted to look further
So I do, just a peek
Years wash over me like waves
I see love like I’ve never known
Years and years of it
Finally I catch the barest glimpse
I’m in a suit
Nervously snapping
a simple white box
open and closed
over and over
In that box I see a glint of metal
Something simple and dark
Damascus steel
It feels like him
sturdy.
And then I close the eye
Back in bed.
Still looking at his perfect face
The world tilts
And I leave without a word.
As I’m riding the train home
I open my phone
Scroll the pages, open Tinder
New match.
I wonder how my year with him will go.
- 1
- 2
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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