Soul Music: Love Sustained - 3. A Walk in the Park

Geoff sat curled up on the sofa in Tony's house, his head turned to watch the street outside. It was Thursday morning, and instead of getting ready for work, he was watching all the other commuters start their day. It felt odd to be lounging around in his shorts and a tee. He wasn't sick, or on holiday – the only other occasions he usually missed work. At the moment, his life felt as though it was in limbo. In a place where he could neither to move back nor forwards. As he aimlessly stared at the world outside, he listened to Tony finishing the call to his line manager, explaining why he wouldn't be in. His boyfriend had made the call in the kitchen. To save his blushes? Geoff shrugged. It was only as Tony started to move out of the kitchen that he'd heard the final 'Goodbyes'.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he contemplated the following morning's 'return to work' interview. That would be fun, explaining the trials of a coming out. He hoped she was up to speed with her equalities training. Tony interrupted his line of thought by strolling into the living room, phone in hand. Even in his present state of misery, his eyes – and maybe also his cock – were drawn to the sight of Tony's legs being on display. He too wore shorts in the unusually warm May temperatures. Athletic, muscular, always with a hint of a tan from his time spent outdoors, they were limbs Geoff could never hope to emulate.

Tony smiled at him. “That's that done.”

“How'd she take it?”

His boyfriend flopped down on the sofa beside him and gave him a quick cuddle.

“Fine. She didn't miss a beat when I introduced myself as your boyfriend.”

He let out a long sigh. “Good. I'm glad there's someone else who doesn't regard our love for each other as freakish.”

“Oh, Geoff, love, there are plenty of people out there who'd approve of us.”

“Really?” The bleakness of his question suited his current frame of mind.

“Yes, really. Your friend, Helen. There's my sister. Christ, even old Ted who sits next to me in the choir, thinks we're onto a good thing.”

“But not my mother.”

Geoff closed his eyes for a few precious seconds. Whether it was to shut out the world for an instant, or to catch up on missed sleep, he wasn't sure. He felt Tony put an arm round his waist and squeeze gently.

Tony nuzzled his neck for a moment. “I know, love. We can hope that she comes round.”

“Fat chance.”

“Don't write her off, Geoff. You both suffered considerable shocks yesterday and it'll take both of you some time to work through them.”

“Hmm …”

“I'd be happy to speak to her, if you think it would help.”

Geoff shrugged – he couldn't summon up the energy for an actual reply. If his mother couldn't stand the sight of him, the arrival of his boyfriend was hardly going to improve matters. He sensed Tony looking at him as he waited for a proper answer.

Geoff opened his eyes. “Sorry, I'm not being much help this morning. All I want to do is curl up into a ball and wait for life to sort itself out. Useless, as always.”

“You are not useless.” Tony frowned slightly with concern. “Just feeling down after yesterday and that's understandable. We do need to talk about things though. OK?”

Geoff grimaced, then turned away slightly to look out of the window again. As if that would make everything go away.

He heard a chuckle. “You know, I'm getting a pretty good impression of you as a teen …”

“Pardon?” He moved round to glare at his companion. Tony met him with a grin and a sympathetic gaze. “Hnh … Hardly. My mother had no patience with any of that kind of behaviour. Sulks, not answering questions, they weren't allowed. Dad stayed well out of family discipline.”

“Maybe this is some sort of delayed response?” The amused grin was still there.

Geoff allowed himself to roll his eyes before sitting up straighter. He smothered another yawn.

“Don't think I feel up to talking about my mother just yet.”

“OK … Let's discuss the house then.”

He hesitated to give an answer, hoping Tony would take the lead. He didn't feel capable of any connected, rational thinking.

Fortunately, his boyfriend obliged. “Worst case scenario, she sells the house soon as, and leaves you without anywhere to live.” Tony shook his head. “Dearest Geoff, you do live here as well.”

He looked down at his hands. “I know I do, but somehow that got lost in the midst of all shock and nastiness. I'm not proud I sort of forgot about you yesterday.”

“Only for a little while, and not when it counted. You didn't try to introduce some stranger to your mother as your boyfriend. It was me. … Anyway, back to the house. Out of the two, we both prefer yours, I think? But there's nothing to stop us building a life here. And don't go worrying about whether our relationship'll last. I'm telling you it will.”

Tony leaned over and gave him a kiss. Geoff marvelled yet again at the intensity of the other man's love for him. Not that it topped his own feelings in anyway, but falling in love with Tony was easy. Handsome, caring, great cook, sporty, and a considerate, patient lover … And his certainty about them being together made him glow inside.

Tony stretched his legs out, distracting Geoff from his thoughts. He stared unashamedly at the other man's muscled, lean limbs.

There was a snort. “See something you like?”

He nodded, blushing.

“Good. What else?”

“Ehm …” Geoff wasn't ready for the conversation's abrupt change of direction. “Everything. I love all of you.”

“What? Even my thin, sandy-coloured hair?” Tony held up a couple of strands for his inspection.

“Yeah. I … I love how little hair there is on your body. Not like mine.”

Tony snuggled up closer. “Well, don't go shaving yours. You hear?”

Geoff attempted to watch as Tony teased a tuft of his chest hair that was peeping above the neckline of his tee.

“That's my hair for running my fingers through, playing with, resting on. OK?”

The humour lifted his spirits a little. “I wonder if the beautician's at the back of the Council House do manscaping?”

His boyfriend moved away to look him in the eye speculatively. “Even if they do, I don't see you surviving much in the way of hot waxing. You know, where they rip your hair out using waxed strips?”

Geoff shivered. “Eugh. No, thanks.”

Tony chortled. “I thought so. Now, back to the job in hand. We both agree we'd prefer to be in your house – more room, better garden, more scope for our musical activities. Our task then, is to make your mother an offer of a rental agreement which would be acceptable to both sides.”

He turned his head. “You think she'd be interested in letting it out instead of selling?”

Tony shrugged. “It's our only hope of remaining there. Even our combined salaries wouldn't stretch to the necessary mortgage payments. The housing market's not that buoyant. I suspect her man-friend's estimate is exaggerated. She'd have a guaranteed income, with no need to clear the house, or possibly invest in whatever repairs would be needed before the house was saleable.”

“Hmm …” Geoff thought back to the row with his mother. “Depends how keen she is to follow through on her threat.”

“Some money is better than none. Why didn't she ask you for rent when you moved back in?”

He blinked. “You know, I have no idea. It took me a while to get a permanent job. So I suppose what started out as a temporary, unspoken arrangement, just continued. How much can we afford between us?”

“I gave it some thought last night. I reckon I could let this place out furnished pretty quickly. And you've not got any other drain on your salary. So …”

Tony got out his tablet and showed Geoff his calculations. They spent several minutes chewing over the figures before they agreed on a proposed monthly rental.

“And we want a proper tenancy agreement. That'll give both us and your mum protection.” Tony made a note to himself under their calculations.

He couldn't hide his astonishment. “You worked all this out last night?”

“Yeah, well.” Tony's smile was modest. “Once you'd gone to bed and I'd finished clearing up, I didn't feel sleepy. Tired, yes, but my brain was still going round in circles. So work seemed the best option.”

“Is that everything?”

“We've got to get the proposal to your mother somehow. I was thinking about an actual letter? It would at least make her open it up and hopefully read it. A phone call at the moment wouldn't be a good idea. And it shows we're serious.”

Geoff thought for moment. “I can't remember when I last sent or received a personal letter. The odd birthday or Christmas card, but not an actual pen and ink letter.”

“Don't get too excited. It's hardly gonna be a billet-doux. More a business proposition. This'll be printed off and then put in an envelope. And I'll print the address label so your mother doesn't know who it's from before she opens it. I'm not going to be chewing the end of a quill or getting copious amounts of ink on my fingers. Anyway, the letter will be going out in your name. Your mother wouldn't hesitate for a second to throw it in the bin otherwise.”

“Yeah …” His small quantity of regained good humour leached away as his boyfriend reminded him of the other topic they hadn't tackled yet.

“Once we've done that, how about a walk in the park? I think we both need the exercise and fresh air.”

“No 'shop' talk?” He wanted a break from serious discussions as well.

“Yeah. That won't resume until after lunch.”

“Good.”

They both got up, taking a few seconds to get kinks out of necks and backs, before heading off to get ready.

A little later, they strolled through the main gate to the park and came face to face with the bandstand. Tony stood admiring its Edwardian, ornate splendour. The red and blue painted decorative features really stood out against the surrounding green.

“That paint's still looking good. When was it restored?”

His boyfriend had wandered off a little, his eye caught by something flowering, as usual. He smiled to himself, and repeated the question at a louder volume.

Geoff looked round. “Sorry?”

He stretched out an arm. “Come here when I'm asking you a question.”

The mulish look he got back made him smirk. Geoff rejoined him a few seconds later, having conspicuously avoided his outstretched limb.

“Wasn't that a bit obvious?” Geoff glanced around for any reaction.

“Hmm … Possibly. God, I hate having to pretend.” Tony reined himself in. “The question. When was the bandstand restored?”

“I'd have thought you'd know. Ten, fifteen years ago? Something to do with the millennium or the lottery. Anyway, someone made a tranche of money available for the restoration of public parks. Dunno why.”

“Parks are a public good. Somewhere to relax, breathe better air, rebalance. The Victorians understood that when they created many of the municipal open spaces.”

Geoff frowned slightly. “Only because the working and living conditions of the urban poor were so bad. Maybe they saw parks as a sort of off-setting?”

“Interesting way of looking at it. If somewhat cynical.”

They continued their stroll. As they walked, Tony took in the other people enjoying the sunshine. Lying on the grass, running for exercise, sitting chatting in groups, or singletons quietly enjoying their own company, it was a good cross-section of the town's inhabitants. He and Geoff followed a path that meandered down to the brook which traversed the park. A pair of grey squirrels bickering over territory caught their attention. They watched, slowing their pace, until one of the squirrels darted off up the nearest tree, leaving the other rodent as presumed victor. Further along, a blackbird wrestled with a worm which it had dragged out of the ground. It continued the struggle until it finally subdued its prey, then ate the worm.

He pointed at the bird. “This is what I love about parks. Watching things, people, stuff happening, growing. All out in the occasionally lovely weather …”

“I do that in the garden all the time …” Geoff's voice faltered.

Tony went to give his boyfriend a side-on hug, but hastily withdrew his arm when he remembered where he was. Though he'd never been hassled in the park before, there was always scope for a first time.

Instead, he put as much confidence into his voice as he could muster. “And you'll continue to do so in future. The only change I hope for, is that I'll be with you.”

He got a wan smile from Geoff for his efforts.

Tony decided to change the subject. “Remind me. Have we managed to co-ordinate our weeks-off over the summer? I know we talked about it at one point.”

“Err …” Geoff slowed down while he thought. “Yeah, think so. The fortnight in June's been approved. I'm still waiting to hear about the later dates. September, wasn't it?”

“Yeah. Good about next month. I've an idea.” He indicated a bench they were approaching. “Let's take five.”

Geoff spluttered. “You mean the exercise has been too much for you already/”

“No.” He rolled his eyes. “It was more out of concern for you, Geoff. The wheezing and spluttering …”

“Shut up!”

The two men exchanged grins. He was pleased that Geoff had roused himself sufficiently to make a joke. They sat down on the wooden bench. As it was in the sun, Tony retrieved his sunglasses from a pocket and put them on.

Geoff looked at him. “Poser.”

“Excuse me? Useful and decorative, that's sunglasses for you. Not that they get used very often.”

“It's certainly warm.”

A few minutes later, Geoff got himself into a tangle trying to take his jacket off without standing up again. Tony leant over to assist, spending just a second or two afterwards getting Geoff's thick hair to settle back down after it had been caught in the struggle. He loved the feel of it, the colour. Everything.

“There – that's better.” He gave Geoff's head one last gentle pat.

Their eyes locked briefly.

“What a touching sight!” A man's voice came out of nowhere. The voice continued. “Two gay boys getting it on.”

The interruption gave both men sitting on the bench a fright. He jerked upright. Geoff froze.

Now Tony could put a face to the voice. “Jason …”

The man facing them didn't look any more healthy than the last time Tony had run into him. On that occasion, Jason had warned him that one of his exes, Stuart, was about to return to the area.

“Be careful, won't you, darlings? Anyone might see you.”

He eyed him up. “You're out early, Jason. Not getting as much action as you used to?”

“Claws, sweetie. Claws. It is only Thursday. And I've got a job. Poxy, minimum wage thing, but needs must. This is my lunch hour.”

He was conscious of Geoff sitting next to him, probably wondering what the hell was going on. Jason stood there, ogling Geoff, unashamedly giving him the once-over.

“And who's this slice of gorgeousness? Love the beard. You gonna introduce me, or do I have to do it myself?”

Beside him, he felt Geoff shift uneasily on the bench. Being described in that manner was doubtless turning his boyfriend his trademark scarlet.

“You have a mind like a sewer, Jason. I was helping Geoff here with his jacket.”

“Not what it looked like to me.” Jason giggled. He continued staring at Geoff. “Strong, silent type, is he? Sexy with it.”

A sour look from Tony greeted that remark. Jason took no notice.

“Geoff, sweetie. If you ever get tired of him, I'll be along in a flash to take his place.”

He wasn't in the mood for camp banter. “Geoff and I have things to talk about. Doubtless you have things to be doing, Jason.”

“Ooh … Marching orders. Well, before I go, I'll just say I'm surprised Stuart isn't in the picture. Or is he meeting you both here?”

“What?” His hackles rose.

Geoff shifted along the bench to move closer. It was almost as if they were closing ranks.

Jason produced an improbably large phone out of his back pocket and started tapping away.

“The whole world knows about your reconciliation. How many 'friends' does Stu have?”

Tony held on to his temper. This sounded serious. Though he couldn't resist a jibe.

“How does someone in a shit, dead-end job afford one of those?” He looked at the phone.

“Wouldn't you like to know, darling?” Jason smirked, and continued to tap and scroll until he found what he wanted. “Finally. Stuart updates his Facebook feed a zillion times a day. Rarely do I have less than fifty notifications from him alone.”

“Unfriend the stupid fucker then.”

“My …” Jason's eyes widened. “Someone's not a fan of our Stuart. Anyway, here he is, singing your praises.”

Jason dangled the phone in front of him, just far enough away that he couldn't read properly what was on the screen. He made out a picture of the wretched bouquet Stu had sent him one Sunday. He had to almost physically restrain his hand from reaching out and grabbing the phone. Was that the response Jason was hoping for? It gave Tony a few crumbs of comfort to deny him that, though his tongue wasn't so easily constrained. He was furious.

“You've thirty seconds to tell me what the fuck's going on, or I swear, you and that fucking ridiculous phone of yours are gonna end up in the brook.”

In the face of his anger, Jason took a step back. Geoff placed a restraining hand on his thigh. Tony took a deep breath to dampen down his anger. It wasn't a good idea to lose it when he really needed to learn what had been going on.

“Well?”

Jason pouted. “No need to lose your rag, darling.” He handed the phone over.

Tony scrolled down, first off skimming his way through before returning to the top and reading the text more closely. He couldn't believe it – pure fabrication. Pure fantasy, maybe? An email from him purported to thank Stuart for the flowers, 'They're gorgeous, Stu. Beautiful.' and then went on to say how 'grateful he was' for another chance to 'share in your life'. He growled out loud. Stuart then posted several updates immediately afterwards saying 'how stoked he was to have Tony back'. And how 'completely compatible' they were in bed. He growled again. As if … Flicking quickly forwards, he was relieved to see that he wasn't mentioned again. Maybe a mutual acquaintance had challenged Stuart? It still meant Stu was trouble though. Fucking bastard.

He looked up. “It's a complete fabrication. A lie. Apart from the flowers, which were unsolicited, everything about me and him is a product of his warped imagination.”

Geoff peered over his arm, trying to see for himself. Tony handed the phone over. Geoff had as much right as he did to see the crap Stuart had produced.

Jason shrugged. “It did seem too much of a fairy tale for our Stu. Don't worry, sweeties, your secret's safe with me.”

Tony stared at him. “Nothing about my relationship with Geoff is secret. It's all above board. I've already informed Stuart in no uncertain terms he's not welcome.”

Geoff handed the phone back to Jason. The other man pocketed it. “I'll be off. Remember what I said, Geoff. Bye, sweeties!” With a jaunty wave, Jason carried on down the path as if nothing had happened.

He sat with his head in his hands. “God, it never rains, but it pours.”

Geoff gave him a hug, not caring. “We'll be fine, Tony. I know we will.”