The Lesser Evil - 15. The Final Choice

The day was warm and sunny, as is usually the case in the southern kingdom of Ahrabet, where summers last for nearly eight months. A soft breeze drifted through the countryside, rustling the tall grass and leaves on the trees. The townsfolk were out, working on their crops, taking animals out to pasture and enjoying another calm, clear day.

Edwin walked down a dirt path leading out of the village, his little sister and their two horses walking alongside him. The day was too beautiful to spend at home, so they decided to go out and have fun. Whatever work he had to do would have to wait until they returned.

“Where are you two going?” an elderly lady called out as they approached. She stood to observe them, leaning on her garden hoe for support.

“Just out for a walk,” Edwin gestured to the green fields ahead. “How are you, Mrs Goldsworn? Keeping yourself busy?”

“Ah, you know how it is. A farmer’s work is never done,” she replied. “And look at Marcella, it’s like I haven’t seen you in ages! My, you’ve grown so much! How old are you now?”

“I’m thirteen,” Marcella smiled, her unruly black curls falling into her eyes.

“Such a big girl you are! Tell me, does your brother behave?”

“Yes, he does,” the little girl nodded, taking her brother’s hand.

“Good, good. If he doesn’t, you just tell me and I’ll come teach him a lesson,” the old woman teased, getting an eyeroll from Edwin and a giggle from his sister. She always asked the same questions whenever they would come across her.

“Have a good day, Mrs Goldsworn. Don’t work too hard, alright?” Edwin smiled, waving goodbye to the woman.

It wasn’t long before they reached their destination - a large meadow in a valley on the outskirts of the village. It was one of his favorite places. During the day, he could ride his horse, while in the evening, he could enjoy the fresh air as he lay in the grass, watching fireflies and gazing at the stars. He lived for those little pleasures in life that brought so much joy and could turn even the most boring day into something beautiful.

Coming there with his sister made the experience even better.

“So many flowers!” Marcella exclaimed joyfully as her eyes fell upon the colorful assortment of plants in front of her. “I want to pick some for mom!”

“That’s a great idea, she’ll love that,” Edwin smiled, letting her run through the field, picking whatever flowers she wanted. Once she was finally done, she returned to him, holding a large bouquet with all kinds of wildflowers - violets, harebells, forget-me-nots, shooting stars, and many others.

“Do you think mom will like it?” she asked, her face beaming with happiness and excitement.

“She will love it, it’s beautiful!” Edwin nodded, eliciting a smile from the girl. “Here, let me tie it with a string so it doesn’t fall apart.”

After making short work of the bouquet and setting it to the side, he led his sister to where the horses were peacefully grazing.

“Now, if you’re scared to do it on your own, that’s alright. Just tell me, and I’ll ride with you.”

“No, I can do it!” Marcella insisted. “I’m a big girl now, I can ride on my own.”

“I know you are, I’m just saying,” he smiled, patting her on the head. “Alright, remember what I taught you?”

“Yes, don’t pull on the reins too hard. And don’t grip too much with my legs.”

“Yes, just like we practiced,” Edwin replied, satisfied with the response. Even though they had been riding together for a while, this would be the first time Marcella would be alone on a horse, and Edwin couldn’t help it that he felt nervous. Still, he knew she was much more competent and better with animals than their parents gave her credit for. Believing in her would do her more good than constantly treating her like a baby.

He carefully helped the little girl mount her horse, an older, brown stallion named Walnut, before getting on his own mare, Walnut’s younger sister.

“Come on, Poppy, let’s go for a walk,” he whispered to the horse as they started making their way through the meadow. “How are you doing, Marcie?”

“Good! See, I can do it,” the girl replied, a proud smile on her face.

“That’s my girl! You’ll be better than me soon!”

The pair of siblings rode their horses at a trotting pace for a while, enjoying nature and each other’s company. After all the preparations for the harvest and taking care of the animals at home, Edwin sorely needed a day to just relax and do nothing, and this was the perfect getaway. Just a calm, summer day out in the fields, with no obligations and nothing but the sound of birds chirping, as if competing at who would sing the most beautiful song.

A loud whinny suddenly broke through the meadow, disrupting the peace and quiet. It was as if time itself had stopped as Edwin turned around, blood freezing in his veins as he saw his sister being thrown off of the animal. Panicked, he dismounted from his horse and rushed toward the girl. Marcella’s pained screams filled the air.

“Marcie!” Edwin shouted as his eyes shot open. He was all alone, lying on the cold ground. Sitting up, he looked around, gasping at the sight all around him. Where was he?

The strange terrain was barren, covered in glittering rocks and hills of the most unusual formations and shapes. The night sky was peppered with stars, far more than he had ever seen. There was no Marcella, no horses, no flowery fields… He was all alone.

He got up on his feet, looking around, hoping to see another person, but there was no one else. Only strange lights popping up everywhere around him for a brief moment before vanishing into thin air. Nothing made sense. Where was he and how did he get there? Was this another dream or was he sleeping? He knew for a fact he was with Isolde, when some demon woman found them, and then…

“No…” he stopped, remembering it all. “No, it can’t be…”

There was Ida, being held prisoner. There was a demon, evil and threatening. And there was Lothar, his hand shaking as he plunged his blade into Edwin. He remembered it clearly now.

“Forgive me,” the demon whispered, but then… then he winked. Why would he do that?

“Edwin,” a familiar, warm voice suddenly came from behind, startling him. He jumped, turning around.

Lothar stood there, just a few feet away from him, his eye bruised, a cut across his left cheek. The man he loved, but also the man who betrayed him. The man who killed him.

“What… what are you doing here? What is happening?” Edwin asked, backing away. He stared at Lothar’s sad face, as if he could extract answers just by looking at him. The demon looked awful, battered and broken. It was the last thing Edwin needed right now. He wanted to hate him, to tell him to go back to hell and never return. But he also wanted to wrap him in his arms, tend to his wounds and tell him everything would be alright. “Say something! What is this place?!”

Lothar’s eyes seemed fixed on Edwin’s lips, before he finally looked up, locking eyes with the other man. “We are in Purgatory.”

“Purgatory?” Edwin repeated, his brain working a mile a minute. There was so much he didn’t understand. “Then, does that mean that I’m…?”

“I’m sorry, it was the only way…”

“I’m dead?” Edwin interrupted him, staring at him as if he had grown another head. How could he be dead? It made sense, but then how was he still talking to Lothar?

“Yes, but I came to…”

“No, stay away from me!” Edwin shouted, backing away as the demon tried to approach him. “You killed me. And… and what about Ida and Isolde? Are they also…” He couldn’t even finish the question, fearing the worst. Everything they did was in vain after all. After everything they did, they just ended up as victims of stupid games between demons and angels.

But then, it was as if a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders when he saw Lothar shake his head, a small smile on his lips.

“They’re not dead. They’re both fine, I took them back to Earth. And Cromwell is dead, he can’t stop me from seeing you anymore.”

“Is that true? You’re not lying to me, are you?”

“It’s true, I promise. I will never lie to you or hide anything from you again, Edwin,” Lothar replied, taking a step toward him, but the other man backed away again. How could he trust Lothar ever again? He loved him so much, he wanted to throw himself into the demon’s arms and never let him go, but he would only get hurt again. He would never see his friends and family ever again, all because of Lothar.

“Then… how could you do it?”

The demon’s face fell as he looked at Edwin in shame. “I’m sorry. I know you must hate me, but please allow me to explain.”

Edwin stared at the bruised demon in front of him, feeling pity and anger. He didn’t hate him, he could never hate him, but he needed answers. He needed to know what happens next. With a silent nod, he let Lothar continue.

“Having to… do what I did was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. But that was the only way to save us. If I had refused, Cromwell would’ve had us all executed.”

“What do you mean, save ‘us’?”

“Your soul may have left your body, but it’s still here. You’re still not gone,” Lothar replied, but Edwin still stared blankly, trying to understand. “Look around. See all these lights that appear all around us? They’re souls of people from Earth, passing through Purgatory on their way to… wherever they go next. No one knows for sure.”

“Then… How am I still here?”

“Because you surrendered your soul to me, remember?”

How could he ever forget. Edwin remembered it as clear as day when Lothar told him the price of his help would be Edwin’s soul. They sealed the pact with a kiss, burning him to his very core. He had kissed those lips many times after that, and could still feel them, so soft and warm. Would he ever get to taste them again? Suddenly, he found himself staring at Lothar’s mouth, the demon smirking at him with satisfaction.

“Then what happens to me now?” Edwin asked, feeling he might be starting to blush. Could dead people even blush?

“Whatever you want,” Lothar replied, taking a step toward him and reaching out a hand. This time, Edwin did not pull back. He stood calmly, letting the demon take his hand, entwining their fingers together. “Your soul is mine to dispose of however I please. But I will not do anything you don’t want. You have a choice now, Edwin. If you want, I can take you back to Earth and restore your soul back into your body. You can continue your life as before.”

Edwin stared at the demon in disbelief. It seemed too good to be true. If he was being given another chance, why would he not take it?

“Or… you can come with me,” Lothar added, looking at the other man with hope in his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“See those dark clouds in the distance?” the demon asked, pointing to his right. “That’s where I come from. You could come with me and we can be together.”

“You mean… become a demon?” Edwin asked, stunned. If he were still alive, this is where his heart would be pounding wildly. He looked around in shock, noticing things for the first time. On one side, far away on the horizon, dark clouds were gathering above tall mountains. On the opposite side, faint lights twinkled in the distance - that must be the angels’ domain. That was probably where they had taken Ida, Edwin realized. At least she was safe and sound after all.

“Yes,” Lothar nodded, smiling. “What do you say? I know this is a big decision, and I will respect whatever you choose, but… I don’t want to be without you, Edwin.”

“I… I need to think,” Edwin muttered in reply, his mind racing. He could go back home, go on with his life as if nothing had happened. There were Ida and Isolde waiting for him. His little trinket shop, which he had grown to love so much. How could he leave that behind now that he had a chance to go back?

But the alternative was so tempting. It was madness, it was scary and unknown, but was that so bad? He would be waking up next to Lothar every morning, spending every day with the man he loved. They could spend centuries together, with no Cromwell to keep them apart. That must be what Sigrid’s tarot reading meant, he realized as he remembered drawing the final card - Death.

“It does not mean physical death, but a major transformation in life, the end of one phase and the beginning of a new one,” the mystic’s words echoed in his mind. This must be what she was talking about. A change that should be accepted, not resisted.

Finally, it all made perfect sense. It was as if his entire life was leading him to this point, and suddenly, it didn’t seem scary at all. Instead, he felt excitement, he was eager to start the new chapter of his life with the man he loved by his side.

“What do you say? We’ll have all of the Domain to explore together. And of course, you’ll get demonic powers!”

“Wow, I didn’t even think of that. So I’d be able to…” Edwin started thinking out loud, when realization suddenly hit him. He dropped Lothar’s hand as if it burned him.

“What’s wrong?” the demon asked, looking at the other man in confusion. “Please, talk to me.”

“Lothar, I need you to tell me the truth. When you talked to me about powers, was everything you said true?” Edwin asked, gazing straight into the demon’s eyes. “You said demonic fire is destructive, but angelic fire has the power to heal. Is that true?”

“Yes, but what does that…”

“So, if I went there,” Edwin continued, pointing to the faint lights of the Celestial Spire in the distance, “and became an angel, would I be able to heal?”

The demon opened his mouth, but no sound came out as he stared at his lover with fear and desperation in his red eyes.

“Edwin, please just…” Lothar stepped forward, taking the other man’s hands in his own, a pleading look in his eyes.

“Tell me!” Edwin insisted. “Lothar, please, I need to know!”

The brief silence felt neverending until the demon finally spoke, his voice barely a whisper. “Yes, it’s true.”

Even though he was dead, Edwin could still feel his heart breaking as he looked into Lothar’s eyes, wet with tears, his lip quivering. They both knew it was the end this time.

“I’m sorry, but I have to,” he spoke softly, squeezing the demon’s hands, realizing this would be the last time he was holding them. This time, it was him begging for forgiveness. “I’m so sorry, but It’s the only way I can heal Marcella.”

Lothar shook his head, tears trickling down his cheeks as he sobbed. “Edwin, I… I want you to know that I…”

“Don’t say it now,” Edwin cut him off, raising a hand and pressing a finger gently against the demon’s lips. “I know,” he nodded. “I know. Me too. But I have to do this. Please understand.”

There was no reply. Instead, strong arms enveloped him in a tight hug, Lothar’s body shaking against his as the demon’s tears soaked his shirt. Edwin squeezed him tightly, never wanting to let go. If only they could stay like that forever, locked in an eternal embrace. He would never get tired of it.

When they finally separated after what felt like ages, Edwin felt cold and more alone than ever. He could barely stand to look at Lothar, knowing he was the reason for the pained look on the demon’s face.

“I’m sorry, but I… I can’t watch you leave.”

“I understand,” Edwin replied, sobbing. He turned to the side, unable to look at the demon anymore. He could feel his resolve weakening the longer he stayed, but he could not allow himself to falter. He had to heal his sister, even if it meant never being with the one he loved. “Go, please, this is hard enough as it is.”

Both men stood as if frozen in place, unable and unwilling to move. Edwin knew that if they did, it would be the last time they would see each other.

All too soon, the heavy silence was broken by the one word he was dreading to hear.

“Goodbye,” Lothar whispered, letting tears fall freely down his face. Edwin turned to look at him just as he blinked, leaving the man all alone.

“Goodbye,” Edwin muttered, staring at the empty space where his love had stood just a second ago.

With a heavy heart and his head hung low, he turned around and started his long, slow journey towards the Celestial Spire, the home of the angels.