A Grain in the Sands of Time - 6. The Veil Removed

Matt woke to the music of his cell phone on the nightstand. He sensed it was late in the day, but there was no indication in the room itself as the drapes were pulled tight over the windows hiding any sign of the city beyond the glass. He’d been in bed for two days and spread around his room were the cast offs of the entire mini bar, two bottles of wine that the staff was nice enough to bring to him, the entrails of room service orders, and the pizza he bought last night. He’d refused to have his room cleaned preferring to live in his misery. Ironically, his phone was set to play various tunes as a ringtone and it chose Nik Kershaw’s Wouldn’t It Be Good just to rub in his pathetic mood. It was almost nine in the evening according to his phone as he picked it up to see who was calling. It was Andrew again. He hadn’t stopped phoning for 2 days now, and it was probably time for Matt to get this over with.

“Hello.” He answered tentatively.

“Hi Matt, it’s Andrew.”

“I know, I’ve been trying to forget you, but you keep leaving messages on my voicemail and it’s getting hard to avoid them.” Matt could feel his emotion coming up and knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

“Listen I wanted to…” Andrew started but Matt cut him off.

“I know what you wanted to do Andrew! You were pretty clear about it in your first message, remember? And if that wasn’t clear enough, hanging up on me when I was spilling my guts to you n the phone, made it plenty clear.”

Matt was getting angrier, and it felt good to raise his voice. “You want to let me down easy, and tell me that you never want to see me again, and let me know that the other day didn’t actually mean anything, and that maybe it would be okay if we were just friends. But you know what Andrew? I don’t actually want to hear that from you. I had the best time of my life when we went out and I don’t want to be your friend Andrew! I want to be your boyfriend.”

Matt was becoming hysterical and sobbing into the phone. “I actually fell in love with you Andrew! I didn’t want to, or maybe I did, but I didn’t intend for it to happen, but it did. And then I get the Dear John phone call, which by the way I have made dozens of times in the past so I know what they’re all about, and I barely made it to my room before I spent the last two days crying my fucking eyes out! So you see Andrew, forgive me if I don’t really want to hang around for this particular conversation as I feel royally fucked already!” Matt hung up the phone as forcibly as he could pushing the end button, pulled the covers over his head, and sobbed hard into the soft sheets.

He decided a new approach would better suit his mood, and pulled out his iPad from the drawer in the nightstand, connected to the hotel Wi-Fi and logged onto YouTube. He typed in the information he was looking for and played the video of the Nik Kershaw’s song. The first lines of the song had Matt crying again.

I got it bad, you don't know how bad I got it
You got it easy, you don't know when you've got it good
It's getting harder, just keeping life and soul together
I'm sick of fighting, even though I know I should

His phone rang a couple of seconds later and Matt muted the ring knowing who it was. In his misery, Matt spent the next hour looking for eighties songs on YouTube and reliving some great memories from the era. He got his guitar and played along to many of the songs. He was strumming to It Doesn’t Really Matter by Platinum Blonde when his room phone rang – which was unusual because the only reason it ever rang was concerning a food order he put in and he was in no mood for food – unless it was a tub of ice cream he could drown his sorrows in. Hopeful, he picked up the phone.

“Hello, this is Matt.” He said with as much spirit as he could.

“Good evening sir, this is Sarah from the front desk.” She was all business.

“Hey Sarah, what can I do for you?” Matt expressed his confusion through the question.

“Well sir, we have a young gentleman here insisting that he be allowed to come up and see you, but he doesn’t have your room number and we are unwilling to give out the information without your consent. What would you have us do sir?”

“Shit… does he look about 25, quite tall, redish hair and rather cute?”

“Ah yes, I think all those would adequately describe the gentlemen sir.”

Matt thought briefly. Better to pull the Band-Aid off quickly and get it over with. Andrew obviously wanted to tell him to get lost in person, and he had to respect that on some level. “Does he look like he’s been crying?” Matt asked hopefully.

“Excuse me sir?”

“Never mind, just send him up Sarah – sorry for making you handle this.”

“Very well sir I will give him your room number, and no problem sir it’s why we’re here. Enjoy your evening.”

He doubted that he would, but he thanked her anyway and hung up the phone. Dragging himself out of bed, he closed the bedroom behind him and went to the front door. He waited a few minutes looking through the peephole watching for Andrew to step out of the elevator down the hall. His breath caught when he finally saw him emerge into the hallway. He was as cute as ever. Bastard! Matt thought viciously.

He opened the door before Andrew could knock. Andrew stopped short of the door looking at Matt seriously. “Jesus you look like shit Matt!”

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me! You came here to tell me that my puffy eyes and runny nose make me look shitty!” Matt struck out with venom.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Andrew put his hands out in surrender, “I just meant … well anyway, could I come in?”

“Ya let’s get this over with.” Matt was in no mood to be conciliatory.

Andrew closed the door behind him and as he came into the room he looked around the suite and took in both the size of Matt’s hotel apartment and the view of the Vegas nightlife from the huge windows in the front room that connected the living room and dining room. Along with the12 foot high ceilings, the soft pine floor, which also framed the windows, and the modern furniture, it could have been a magazine showpiece.

His jaw hanging open, Andrew was about to comment on the beauty of Matt’s home, when a sudden white flash filled the room surprising them both. Matt was the first to recover his sight knowing what was about to happen, but his reflexes were dulled from days of tears and self-pity.

Death appeared in front of them both and before Andrew could react to what was happening Death had seized him by the neck and held him pinned to the wall. As always, Matt’s brother appeared menacing in his black leather ensemble – high healed black leather boots, tight fitting leather pants, a black shirt and a long flowing black leather jacket, which was only added to by his imposing height and presence. Death wasted no time, his voice boomed through the room in an unworldly echo, “Prepare to meet your maker human, I vow to be the revenge of my brothers heart – I am Death and you will feel my hand clutching your soul this night!”

Matt’s mouth hung open in shock and Andrew immediately passed out on hearing Deaths word’s.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” Matt recovered enough to say in exacerbation. “What the hell are you doing here? And what’s with ‘I am Death hear me roar?’”

Death looked at Matt while still holding the now limp Andrew by the neck. “What?” he asked innocently, “I told you I would show up if he fucked with you! You look like shit you know?”

Matt rolled his eyes, “So I’ve been told. Death, you can’t go around killing people just cause they break up with me!”

“Why not? I’m Death, it’s what I do.”

“Oh for Time’s sake! Put him down.” Death dropped Andrew on the floor and looked hurt, hanging his head slightly. Matt groaned, “I really don’t need this right now.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, why do you care so much about this shit who just used you for a fuck?”

Matt looked at his brother and was about to launch himself across the floor at his throat when Andrew began to rouse himself on the floor. He was confused at first and then caught sight of Death standing menacingly behind Matt. Matt had bent down to offer his hand to Andrew, but Andrew recoiled in fear and tried to get away from Matt crawling his way to the door.

“Get away from me!” he screamed in terror.

“Andrew, listen it’s okay, really, no one is going to hurt you.” Matt tried to soothe Andrew’s fear, but Andrew had made it to the corner of the room and tried to squeeze himself into it with his back to Matt and the other person whom he didn’t recognize, but he remembered the threat he heard only seconds ago.

“Oh shit, please don’t kill me,” he pleaded, “please, please, I don’t want to die!” He broke down and was sobbing into his hands.

“No one’s killing anyone Andrew, listen just calm down and we can talk about this.” He glanced a daggered look at Death who put up his hands and retreated toward the sitting area, past the dining room table, at the end of the room. He took out a cigarette and it lit without the benefit of a lighter.

Andrew watched it all and looked back to Matt in terror. “What is that? How did he just appear in your room, and why did he call you brother? Oh shit, he’s an alien isn’t he? That means you’re an alien too. Oh man, I got fucked by an alien!”

Death laughed, but cut his mirth short when Matt glared at him. “Andrew listen, he’s not an alien, I’m not an alien, and your not going to be giving birth to an alien because we slept together. But, there are probably some things I should tell you about what’s happening here.” Matt took a breath and tried to slow his breathing down, knowing that his own excitement would just make Andrew more anxious.

“Fool, why are you bothering with this, it’s pointless, let me kill him and be done with it!”

Andrew withdrew further into the corner hugging his knees.

“You’re not helping here D!” Matt emphasized the moniker to spare Andrew hearing Death’s name again.

“Oh God, is he really Death?” Andrew whispered to Matt.

“Fool, look at him, he’s practically shitting himself, you really want to be with this guy?”

Matt exhaled in frustration, but his response was cut short by Andrew’s anger. “Stop calling him a fool, you… bully!”

“Oh shit.” Matt sighed.

“Bully! Who the hell are you calling a bully, you user!” Death leapt off his chair and strode across the room. “You sleep with my brother and then leave him a message telling him to fuck off! What kind of person are you!”

Andrew rose to the occasion and his voice rose with him, “Don’t call me a user, I love him, and I would never use him, even if he is an alien!”

Matt was shocked, he sat back on his heals, not sure what he just heard.

Death snorted, “Oh really? Remind me where it’s written that sleeping with someone and then dumping him over the phone is synonymous with the idea of love! You disgust me,” he took a deep drag of his cigarette and violently exhaled in Andrew’s direction.

“Would the both of you shut the fuck up!” Matt screamed and both Andrew and Death looked at him. “What did you just say?” His question was directed to Andrew.

“I wouldn’t use you Matt, even if you are an alien.” Andrew said gently.

“For the last time, I am not a fucking alien! And that’s not what I meant anyway!” Matt’s own confusion was starting to rise and he wasn’t good with that particular emotion, he needed time to think. This was not the way this conversation was supposed to be going. “Brother would you please go! I need a little privacy here?”

Death shrugged, got up from the leather chair he was reclining in and stepped through the door closest to him – Matt’s bedroom. He turned back to face Matt and Andrew, took two of his fingers and pointed to his eyes and then jabbed them toward Andrew. The threat was clear. Matt stalked over to the door, pushed Death through it the rest of the way and slammed the door shut. He looked back into the room at Andrew who was now sitting on the couch shaking. His heart suddenly melted, but he needed some time to think before speaking with Andrew.

“Andrew listen, we both need a little something to drink. And something stronger than I have here in the apartment, so I am going to go downstairs and get us something.” Andrew looked panicked at the suggestion. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back, and he wont do anything at all to hurt you, because he knows I’ll kick his ass if he does.”

“I heard that!” Death shouted from the room.

“Go!” Matt shouted at the door. A flash of light was visible under the door and Death was gone.

“Is he gone?” Andrew asked hesitantly.

“Yes, he’s gone. How about that drink before I explain everything to you?”

“Okay, but hurry, I need that drink!”

“I’ll be right back.” Matt flew out of the room and ran to the elevator.

**********

Andrew paced the room glancing around the apartment. What the hell is going on here! What have I gotten myself into? And who is this guy, look at this apartment!”

“Has he told you nothing about who he is?”

Andrew jumped and screamed as he realized that it was his voice right behind him. “How the fuck do you do that?”

Death shrugged, “I’m Death, stealth comes with the territory.” He sat nonchalantly on the leather sofa facing the city.

“You’re not Death, there’s no one who is Death! Death happens to all of us eventually, even you, whoever… or whatever you are.”

“You sound pretty sure of yourself, I could prove it to you.” He said menacingly. “But my brother would no doubt end my life if I did.”

“If you were really Death you wouldn’t be scared of Matt! And why are you so rude to him?”

“I was never rude to him!” Death said defensively.

“You keep calling him a fool! I haven’t known him very long, but he is no fool!” Andrew’s anger was rising again.

Interesting, Death thought. “I am not calling him a fool, I am calling him Fool, because that is his name, that is who he is, and what his role is meant to be.”

“What parent would name their child Fool?” Andrew asked incredulously.

“They didn’t name him Fool, it’s a title you idiot. Don’t you get it? He’s the Fool.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“O.M.G. I really do want to kill you!” Death struggled with his rising frustration.

“Did Death just use O.M.G. like a little girl?” Andrew went on the offensive, but Death didn’t let it continue for long, he rose to his full height and Andrew backed up fast. “Ok, ok, calm down, it was just a little joke. Just didn’t figure Death for the internet-short-hand type, that’s all.”

Death walked to the windows and sat down again in the plush wing chair the corner of the room, putting his big boots up onto the ottoman, and watched as Andrew sat on the couch.

Andrew noticed with terror that the flowers in the vase next to Death were beginning to wilt quickly and turn black. Death followed his eyes and saw what was happening.

“Oh I really hate that, you know, you can never get away from work!”

“”Maybe a new job would suit you better.” Andrew used sarcasm in his exhaustion.

“If you would just shut up for a minute and listen, maybe I would explain it to you so you might understand.” Despite the tone, Andrew didn’t respond. He wanted an explanation of what was going on. “It’s like this. Matt, as you know him, is the Fool, the embodiment of the carefree, the naïve, the wanderer, and the helper; he acts before he thinks. Which is most likely why he’s doing what he is doing now.”

Andrew pondered what this meant, but held his tongue. While this freak was talking at least he was less of a problem.

Death narrowed his eyes at Andrew, leaned forward dangerously, and whispered, “If you call me a freak one more time, I’ll show you the meaning of the word pain. Do we understand each other?” Andrew swallowed and nodded, but stopped short of wetting himself, this guy could read his thoughts. Death continued and leaned back in his chair as if nothing had happened, “Anyway, he’s part of the Arcana, the ruling family. There are 22 of us. Well 23 if you include our father. Matt is the oldest, created first by Sun and Time our mother and father.”

“Are you telling me that the Sun and Time, are your parents, and that they are Matt’s parents?”

“Yes, that is what I am saying. Of course it’s not really a traditional type of arrangement. We are born into the bodies of humans, and live out our lives knowing who we are and where we come from. Each life has a purpose and when we have fulfilled that purpose our body dies and we go on to the next body.”

As Andrew was listening, he was putting things together with what Matt had told him on their date. Family business indeed!

“Each one of us is the embodiment of an archetype in this world. We have a role to play. You know mine. I carry the soul to the afterlife.”

“Are you shittin’ me?” Andrew asked, falling into Death’s story.

“No, I’m not shitting you.” Death rolled his eyes. “Matt has a purpose to fulfill as well, but he’s decided to leave the Arcana. Not something that’s easy to do. But he thinks he’s in love and he’s willing to give up what he has in order to pursue that love.”

Death’s eyes bore into Andrew who was beginning to grasp the meaning of what Death was saying. “What happens to Matt if he leaves the family?”

“He dies. After twelve thousand years of walking this earth the Fool will die. And if he hasn’t found a replacement, so too will the entire human race.”

Andrew was stunned by Death’s words. “What? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying human, that if Matt doesn’t find another Fool, before his deadline is reached, the human species will be without a Fool. And if that happens, then the human race will become extinct. It would take a few generations, no doubt, but it’s inevitable. Humans cannot exist without the whole of the Arcana. We are who you are. Without us, you cannot be who you are, and your race will fall. And ours will go with it. We are tied together as host and parasite.”

Andrew was pretty sure on which side of the equation Death thought he fell. “This is too much, are you telling me that the man who told me he loved me on the phone earlier this evening is planning on leaving his family because he’s in love with me, and in doing so, he is actually putting the whole human race at risk of death! No offense.”

“Oh none taken.” Death dismissed the comment with a wave of the hand. “Essentially, you got it right. Well I should go!” Death ended brightly, smiling.

“What? Wait, please.”

“What?”

“Can he change his mind? If he didn’t love me, could he change his mind and still be part of the family?”

Death looked at Andrew curiously. This little human is actually concerned that Fool will die. “Do you really love him?” Death asked seriously and searched Andrew’s mind and soul as he watched Andrew nod slowly. “You do. Well, well, this does complicate things doesn’t it?” Death paused to consider his answer. “Fool has started the process, but yes, he has time to reverse the choice he’s made.”

“Death,” Andrew used the name certain of whom he was talking to now and giving him a strange sense of confidence. “You said Matt would kill you if you hurt me. How could he do that? You’re Death.”

“Fool is the oldest, and with age he is also the most powerful of us. If he wished it, I would die.”

There was a flash and Death was gone. Andrew was breathing heavily and tried unsuccessfully to calm himself down. Fuck me! he screamed inside his head and ran.

**********

Matt rushed back into the room with a six-pack of Coke, a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, and a couple of limes. He scanned the room, but didn’t see Andrew anywhere – he was only gone for a few minutes, so he couldn’t have gotten far. He opened his mind and found him instantly. He was in the bathroom off the master bedroom throwing up. He set the drinks on the dining room table and walked into his bedroom. He could hear Andrew in the bathroom, as the door was open. He switched on the light in the bedroom to let Andrew know that he was there. It also allowed him to see the actual state of his bedroom. He willed the room clean and instantly the garbage was gone, the bed was made, the curtains were open to the city lights, and it smelled fresher than it had in days.

Andrew looked out from the bathroom door when he noticed the light go on in the room. He came out, drying his mouth.

“I’m sorry, I kind of made a mess in the sink. I guess things got a bit much for me.”

“It’s okay, I understand. You don’t meet Death everyday.” He smiled weakly.

“Or the Fool.” Andrew answered cautiously.

Matt looked at Andrew in confusion, but then quickly understood, “He returned did he?”

Andrew nodded.

“I’ll have to have a talk with him.” Matt said menacingly.

“He told me a lot. Who you are, and what you’re doing.”

Matt remained silent.

“Matt,” Andrew lowered his voice, and sat on the bed in the room. “On the phone earlier you said you loved me.” Matt made to interrupt and say something but Andrew waved him off. “No wait… I think I need to say some things too, and I’d like to before you respond.”

Matt nodded silently.

“Well… after our nights together, and all the sex, and everything we said to each other and all… well it kind of freaked me out. I didn’t tell you, but I broke up with my last boyfriend like four months ago and it didn’t go well. I did things that I never thought I would. Like following him home one night to see if he was seeing someone else, and it kind of weirded me out, you know? So, I told myself that I can’t be doing that shit and that I would swear off men for a while. And then you walked through the door and knocked over the fucking juice stand and my whole life kind of crumbled again, because I fell so hard for you, and I thought that I should just end it and so I called and then, after I said what I did on the phone, I realized that life without you would be so hard and so difficult, because I really did love you, and I know it was fast, but it just felt so right and…” Andrew started to cry. “And I realized that I made a huge mistake, and when you hung up on me I kind of freaked again thinking that I’d lost you because of my stupidity, and I thought I should come here to tell you that I made a mistake and ask you to forgive me if you can.” Andrew took a deep breath, “But now… after your brother told me what you’re going to do, I don’t think I can ask you to love me Matt, I don’t want you to die Matt, I want you to live and to go on living and… if that means that we can’t be together than I’m willing to give you up, so that you wont die. Please Matt, please don’t die… I couldn’t live knowing that you died because of me.” Andrew broke down and sobbed loudly as tears ran freely down his cheeks.

Matt joined him on the bed, taking his hands he looked at Andrew until Andrew looked up into his eyes. “Andrew, my brother didn’t tell you everything obviously. Let’s go into the living room, we can both have that drink – Time knows I need one – and I will tell you everything. Okay?”

Andrew sniffed and nodded silently.

“Good, come on.” Matt led him to the couch in the living room and fixed them both a whiskey and coke with lots of ice. It was a pretentious drink to be sure, but it offered a heat going down, that cleared the head. Matt handed the drink to Andrew who swallowed it in two gulps. Matt laughed and handed his drink to Andrew who acknowledged him in thanks.

“So this is the way it is. I am the Fool, Death wasn’t being rude, and it’s my role in this world. I am not an alien, I’m just older than most people.”

“Your brother said you were almost 12 thousand years old Matt! How many life times have you lived?”

“Too many Andrew, it’s why I have chosen to end my life as the Fool. And yes, this means I will die, but you have to understand, I am not doing this only for you. I am doing this because I want to die Andrew. I’m tired of living the life of the Fool.” Andrew started tearing up again and Matt headed off more tears. “Wait, there is something that you do not know about my desire to die Andrew. If I give up my role in the Arcana, I will die, this is true, but I won’t die until this body is ready to die. I will live out my life Andrew, and I would like to live that life out with you.”

His words had an immediate affect on Andrew who seemed surprised by the revelation. “Are you saying you wont die right away?”

“Yes, or no, or… yes, I won’t die right away. I will live out a normal human life, but I wont be the Fool any more. I have found my replacement Andrew. Bouncing from one life to another, fulfilling one task and then another, but never knowing what the task is, is no life for me anymore. I want to live. I want to live with you. And I know that is a whole lot to ask, even if you do love me back, but that is what I want.”

Andrew teared up again, but this time in joy. “Oh Christ, I thought you would die right away Matt! I would like to live with you too, but do you think maybe we could take it a bit slower than moving in with each other right away?” Andrew was in danger of becoming overwhelmed again and felt his stomach resist the whiskey.

“Oh hell ya! I don’t think we would be ready for that. But Andrew, I don’t want you to think that you have to do anything, just because I have made a decision to move away from the role I have played over Time.”

“No I think I get it, but I am pretty sure I will have a lot more questions, if you’d be okay with answering them?”

“Andrew… I’d do anything for you. I do love you and I know that may be a bit scary, it certainly is for me, but if you’d let me I’d like to love you for as long as I can.” And Matt couldn’t hold his tears back any longer either. “I can’t think of any life without you in it Andrew.”

They sat on the couch holding each other and eventually their embrace turned into a kiss, and they pressed their lips together for longer than any of their past kisses. Their kiss turned more passionate, and they moved to Matt’s bedroom once again. After making love, fueled by the emotion of the past hour, Matt held onto Andrew as he fell into a deep, exhausted sleep. He was sitting up watching Andrew breath when Death flashed into the room sitting in the chair in the corner.

Matt looked up and stared hard at Death. The silence stretched out, but Death remained passive just looking at his brother. “You weren’t very nice to Andrew, Death.”

Death shrugged his shoulders. “He needed to be told; besides it’s all worked out right? You get your human and we lose you.” Death’s feelings betrayed his nonchalant comment.

“You’re upset, that I’m leaving, I know. I feel it too, brother.”

“Fool, you don’t understand, you hold us all together. The Arcana can’t survive without you. You are the strongest of us. It will fall, and with it so will the human race you have protected over the millennia. Is this what you want?”

“Don’t be so dramatic. I know what will happen in my absence I have seen it too, but what you don’t see, and what I do, is the strength that the Arcana will gain when Tenny grows into the role he is destined to fulfill. The Arcana will not fall, I would not be doing this if I wasn’t convinced that I was doing the right thing.”

“But you leap before you look brother, it is who you are.”

“Yes, but you continue to believe that this is a bad quality. What I have learned over my lifetimes is that this is the quality of the human race that has advanced the species over and over again. For the uncertainty of the leap over the edge, humans are always granted the benefits of a new path. It is the right thing to do Death, and now is the time to support my decision and end your desire to change the path that is the Arcana’s and the human’s destiny. You will acquiesce to my desire, is this clear?”

Death bowed his head. “As you wish brother.”

“Good, now go. You’ve caused enough trouble for one evening.”

Crestfallen, Death raised his eyes and Matt saw the beginning of tears form. In a brilliant flash of white light Death was gone.

Matt sighed with relief. He needed his brother to be strong and to support his decision. For the Arcana to survive, as he knew it must, it would need his brother’s strength to come through unscathed. His mind was made up, and the events of this evening solidified the decision. He would no longer be the Fool, and he needed to turn his attention to the boy who would soon take over the task. But for tonight, he would just hold the man who he loved and who loved him back, and dream of what might be possible in their future together. These were the thoughts that were going through Matt’s mind, and that made him smile, as he drifted into sleep cradling Andrew in his arms.