A Grain in the Sands of Time - 2. Three Blessings

Matt reached his hotel and waved absently at Keri who was behind the front desk. He tried to like her, but it always seemed like she has something on her mind that she wasn’t telling him. He had made his home at the Trump International Hotel, just off the end of the new strip. He enjoyed Las Vegas as it truly was a city that never stopped and he could indulge in whatever he wanted to without a second glance in Vegas, even on rare occasion taking a man to his room. Over the past 2 years at this hotel had never received an unkind word of discouragement from the staff. It had been a while since Matt had anyone here, however, as he had no real friends so there wasn’t anyone to invite over. He had never actually stayed in one place long enough to really make any friends. He liked to travel; he’d been all over the globe, but it felt to him like he wanted to stay in Vegas and that was an unusual feeling, in fact it was a feeling, he realized, that that invoked a lot of fear.

His bike tires squeaked loudly on the marble foyer as he made his way to the elevators tucked behind the gleaming main wall. He was waiting there when he heard his name.

“Matt, wait!” Keri approached him at a professional walking speed, ever conscious of those who may be watching her. She looked at him for a second longer than she needed to and then said, “You have a message. From your mother.”

Matt groaned, “Oh God, why right now?” He looked upward, but God didn’t respond. Just as well. He took the slip of paper from Keri who returned to her post as the elevator arrived. Once inside he was reluctant to look at the paper. Just before the door was fully closed a thought crossed his mind and he held his hand in front of the door so it opened again. He stuck his head out and half yelled at Keri. “Keri, could you do me a favor and have housekeeping come to my room in about an hour?”

She eyed him silently, wearing no expression on her face. Impossible to read her thoughts, he mused.

“No problem Matt, leave it to me,” she said with a sweetness that didn’t meet her eyes. Despite her lack of genuine enthusiasm of meeting the needs of her customers, she was on the phone before the elevator door closed.

Matt watched his distorted reflection in the elevator doors. He opened the slip of paper and read the brief note. “A word please, when you return to your room.” The elevator door opened and he first went to the end of the hall, took a key card from his backpack and opened the storage room door to put his bike inside. After he locked it up he moved to the opposite end of the long hallway and stood in front of his room door. Taking a deep breath he inserted the plastic key, pushed open the door, and looked into the face of the most stunning woman he had ever laid eyes on. She was as tall as he was, with bright, golden, wavy hair cascading far down her back. She was dressed, as always, in draped white cloth, cinched at the waist by a golden braided band. She was perfect in every aspect, and his breath caught whenever his eyes set upon his mother.

He dropped to his knee before her and bowed his head gracefully and in deference to the being that stood before him. Tears were on the verge of falling from his eyes when she took his chin in her soft and slender hand and gently pulled his face up toward her waiting smile. His tears spilled then, and he lost all control, and wept convulsively as she held him to her while he stayed kneeling on the floor.

“Hush now my child,” she cooed gently. She stood a long time and held him that way, soothing his sobs and stroking his hair until he was quiet and able to stand and face the being that gave birth to him and all beings that inhabited the earth. “My son,” she said gently.

“My Sun,” he responded as he was expected to address her formally in return for their first greeting.

“Why haven’t you come to see me?” She chided him gently and removed herself from his embrace. “It’s been four of your years, since we last spoke.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to face you Mother,” Matt replied sadly.

“Am I that bad a mother young Fool that you hold from me the pleasure of seeing my first son?”

“I’m sorry Mother, I know I have left seeing you for too long. I have been distracted in this world, wandering and trying to find myself.” Matt paused, “I’ve been looking for him,” he added quietly.

“I know my young Fool,” she replied with sadness, “and you believe you’ve found him haven’t you?”

Matt was stunned, “What?”

“The boy, you believe him to be the one you’ve been looking for.” It was a statement not a question.

“Yes,” he replied simply, astonished that he did not recognize it earlier.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“It is, Mother,” Matt said still stunned that he had missed the obvious.

“How do you know this?” There was accusation in her voice. “Has your family done something to displease you young Fool, that you would stand there and reject everything that you have been given over a thousand lifetimes?”

“No Mother,” Matt paused to wipe the last of his tears from his cheeks and gather his thoughts. He took her hands and led her to sit with him on the couch against the wall. “You have mentioned the one thing that has pushed me to come to this decision. I am no longer the young Fool. I am the old Fool. I don’t look it, this is true, but I feel it. I know you don’t understand; my strength is nothing compared to yours Mother, I have neither the stamina nor the desire to go on any longer. I have walked the earth for eons, watching war, disease, chaos, progress, the birth of technology, and everything I have seen is like another nail piercing my skin and pinning me to the cross from which I can’t escape. I’m reborn as another man destined to live another life, and I carry with me the knowledge that what is waiting for me afterward is yet another life. There is no end… and I want an end, Mother. I want to die.”

She was silent as she considered her words. “I have loved you with all my being little Fool. Be it not for your beggar skills and a silken tongue I may not have come to the same conclusion,” she looked for his reaction and he gave her an acknowledged smile. “I will release you from your task, but you know what you must do first.”

“I do.”

“Then go to the boy and speak the words that must be spoken, but I must tell you what you already know. There is no return. Once you say the words to the boy who would be Fool, you are no longer a part of the Arcana. Your time will end as all others must end.”

“I know this Mother. It is what I wish.”

“Then so be it,” she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead. “You have my blessing little Fool.”

She was gone as he opened his eyes, and although the tears returned knowing what had just been granted to him by his mothers kiss, there was also a smile on Matt’s face.

Matt had rushed after his mother had left and while he was in the shower polishing his whole body he heard a voice in the room letting him know that the housekeeping staff was busy straightening his room. Once out of the shower he wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbed twenty dollars from his wallet in the backpack in the corner of the bathroom, and went out to give it to the cleaning staff before returning to the bathroom to finish preparing for his date. When he was finished, he made sure the room was empty and went to the desk to finish three last tasks before leaving.

He first phoned his banker and set up a meeting for a few days away. Matt hung up and felt a sense of relief that things were, after so many lives, finally beginning to come to an end for him.

His first task complete, he concentrated on the second by bringing their image to his mind. Instantly he knew they appeared behind him. He turned and saw his sister and brother sitting on the black leather couch that his mother sat on earlier. His sister glanced around the room quickly before settling back on his eyes. She took her brother’s hand and settled comfortably into the softness of the cushions. No one of the Arcana knew why the Lovers were born sister and brother. It was always so, identical twins, one male, one female, throughout Time it had never been different. They weren’t lovers in the intimate sense, given that they were siblings, but they oozed love, both toward each other and toward all beings. They were really one person - two side of the same card. Like Matt, and the rest of their siblings, they were tall and flawless. Both had brilliant green eyes and almost white hair. They wore it in a similar fashion, cropped short at the neck, lengthening as it went higher and sweeping forward. Both had prominent lines and a sharp nose. They were a stunning pair, but were rarely seen by the family. They lived together and often in isolation, but when you needed them they were always there.

“Why have you …” his sister began, “called us Fool?” his brother concluded.

They sounded angry, but Matt knew better. “You know the answer to your question.”

“We know the answer…” “we just do not want to honour your request.” His siblings looked away in unison and he could sense the tears spilling down his sister’s face. Her brother put an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. She looked back to Matt, but didn’t hide her sadness.

“You will be lost to us older one.” She said quietly, and Matt acknowledged her statement with a silent nod.

“This body will be you last brother, and as it withers so too will your soul.” His brother’s imagery was met with another nod from Matt.

The siblings exchanged a look and turned back to Matt and spoke as one, “It is because we love you brother that we do this, and for no other reason.”

“I think you live up too much to your title Fool,” his brother admonished him gently.

“It is my nature brother,” he said gently.

“So it is,” his sister smiled at him sadly. “Very well, it is agreed. Come here Fool.”

Matt approached his sister and brother and knelt before them. She was the first to bring her lips to his forehead as her mother had done before her. She pulled back and looked into his eyes for a long time saying nothing. Matt turned to his brother.

“He is pure of heart Fool,” his brother began, “you have our blessing.” Tears formed in his eyes and Matt joined them both in crying as the three of them held each other for a long time afterwards. Finally they broke their embrace and he looked at them one final time.

“Are you sure?” she asked knowing the answer to this last question.

“Yes, sister, I’m sure.”

“Very well,” his brother concluded, “we will see you soon Fool.” And they were gone.

Matt wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at the clock. One last task, he thought nervously. He focused and called Death to him. The air hung suspended in the room and when Matt opened his eyes his brother looked down on him. He was an imposing figure, taller and thicker than Matt, and if anyone laid eyes on him they would feel fear with good reason.

“So Fool, you summon me here to ask a question, but tell me why I should provide you with the answer.” His voice commanded the attention of his station.

Matt, however, knew his place, “I’m scared brother, I ask you because you know, and because you love me as I love you.”

No noticeable shift appeared in the face of Death. “If I do not give you the answer will you stop the course you follow?”

“I will not, brother.”

“Very well, then I choose not to tell you.” He turned away. Matt leaped forward and clutched his brother’s arm.

“Please brother, you know I need to hear what you have to say. It is the only thing now that stands between me and a new destiny.”

“You speak of destiny and yet you turn your back on the work you have been faithful to for millennia.” Death pulled his arm roughly from Matt’s grasp. “You do this all for the humans you have entertained through the ages. Now you wish to be like one and die,” he spat the last word at Matt. “Wishing to pray to the Ruler in your final gasps of air. Why do you do this? It is not who you are. You are the Fool; you are needed as much as I, or anyone in the Arcana, are needed! You cannot turn your back on what you must accomplish, this is a task greater than your desire to die brother.”

“It is not my task to complete, I have known this for many lives now. And you have known it to, but you ignore it in your love for me.” Matt didn’t rise to the challenge of his brother’s anger. “Your anger is born from your sorrow in the knowledge of what I aim to do, and also in knowing you cannot sway me from the path which I know I must follow.”

A shift came over Death’s features and he slumped imperceptibly to anyone but Matt. “Fool, please, think of what you are doing,” Death pleaded. “You are tired, I know this, take this life and disappear from your task for the rest of it. No one will question your absence. Please do this for me foolish one, I need you as much as humanity does, I cannot do this without you.”

“I am sorry brother, but the course has been set many lifetimes ago and this is just a conclusion of what must be. I have found the one who will replace me brother, and he must take on this task, or the Arcana will fall without a Fool.”

Death looked away, and Matt knew that his brother saw the truth in his words, and had known this truth for as long as Matt had known it. Death turned his eyes back toward Matt and approached him slowly. “Ask your question of me,” he instructed, the strength of his role infused in his words.

“What will happen to me when I die brother?”

Death leaned close and whispered in Matt’s ear the details of his future death. Once again Matt found himself held in the arms of one who cared for him deeply and this let his tears flow freely one last time today.

“I really have to stop all this crying brother, I have a date in a little while you know.”

Death laughed softly as he saw his brothers tear streaked face. He lifted his large hand and gently dried his brother’s eyes. “I hope he’s worth it Fool.”

“He is.”

“He’d better be, or I’ll be paying him a visit.”

“Don’t you dare, or I’ll hunt you down. And don’t think for one minute that as the former Fool I won’t still have some tricks left up my sleeves.” Matt smiled at his brother.

“I don’t doubt you will Matt.” It was the first time in thousands of years that Matt had heard his brother call him by his human name. He rather liked the sound of it coming out of Death’s mouth. “Go then with my blessing, but know that I will see you again both when the Time comes for you to leave your task behind, and finally when I come to collect your soul and return it to Time.” With these words he leaned over, grasped Matt’s face between his hands and kissed him gently on the forehead.

“Thank you brother, I look forward to our next meeting.” And Death was gone.

Matt looked around the room that seemed suddenly larger, or maybe he felt smaller, he wasn’t sure which. He had accomplished what he needed to do in order for his plan to succeed. He had gained the blessings of three in his family, and now the fate of all was in his hands. If he failed to complete the task of the nameless one replacing him as Fool, the Arcana would fall, and with it all of human kind. But that task would come in Time; first he had a date.