knotme

I think it’s fair to say that other characters in this story, if consulted, would complain that Jeff is an unreliable narrator. Adds to the fun.

This form is new to me. Novelty adds interest. The shape <<<>>> suggests flow and ebb. Looking at these in terms of prose, with periods in place of line breaks, the shape suggests increasing and decreasing pace, and I feel that in 2, 3, & 4. This pattern of pace can imply an increasing intensity <<==<<, tentative-flowing-pesado. I feel that in 1 & 4. Counting syllables in threes is great for analysis, and it actually fits poem 1(), but for the others it leads to meaningless syncopation, and I would rather let the beats flow wild. I relate best to 3, and to your list of betweens, I would add between now and then. The image of windows without walls is fun. 3 & 4 present discomfort. Is suffering an essential ingredient of poetry?

Single by choice, I resonate with both. To the first, the opportunity lost does not sadden me. Companionship remains a mixed blessing. I am most comfortable alone at home. But away, in a sea of paired strangers, though they pay me no mind, yet I might feel rebuke.

Yes. Artificial plot extenders of any stripe are bad news.

Paranormal doesn’t work for me as the main dish. It can be an ingredient, or it can be the sauce or the drink or the appetizer. Probably not desert.

@Parker Owens@AC BenusI hope any newly discovered path acknowledges that adults Stan and Jamie bear responsibility for their own lives. The bedroom scene pales before the raft of decisions these men have made since. Before they could hope to find happiness together without inflicting (perhaps with an assist from the author) disproportionate pain and suffering on others around them, there is much they must work through, and little hope that they will do so. A glimmer of hope stems from AC’s comment that “neither man has walked in beauty.” Perhaps memories of a beautiful adolescence can motivate them.

Good on you. I was too PC to say this. Ending up a priest seems like an extra heap of punishment.

I speculate that nothing good comes of this. Too much water under the bridge. I also saw “Stan Kowalski.”

These are great fun! One quibble: you don’t need Robert Boyle for mirthless toil. I remember posting over the door to my highschool English class, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” We meant it. But, had I the wit and guts, I would rather have posted such poems as yours over the door to Physics. (I didn’t take Biology.) My motorcycling History teacher could have embraced these, but the rest of them, including Physics, were too afraid of school board and parents. Still, I love the idea. Sex sells! Nice work.

Hardest to read were descriptions of mocking houses and smug trees. The narrator seems to regard his cancer as a personal failure, an embarrassment to life. What an awful extra burden.

I enjoy the writing and would follow it pretty much anywhere. I counted sixteen “cold,” most of it the infernal “Cold enough for ya?” (Yeah, I get that it’s a friendly way to cope, but . . . .) It was fun to see this word have less and less effect on Beau as he became involved, yet nicely set up George’s final “Warm enough for ya?” Yes, these characters are old enough to be comfortable in their adult skins, and I needed Robert to explain why Beau couldn’t quite see what’s in front of him.

My dander's up a bit. I live in what this dead jerk might have called a benighted backwater, with next to no phone signal, appalling transport links, little social life, and what only the new Federal Communications Commission would call broadband, and I rather like it. My neighbors are not pod people, my trees are not out to get me, and I might go out on Christmas day and kill another albizia (damn weed!) just to show who’s boss around here! And, since this gem got me so involved—do I have to say it?—the author did well.

Diana has a new tool, and perhaps new choices in what had been a bleakly deterministic life. What will she do with this limited opportunity? Danni’s lack of empathy is on full display here. Through Duke, Danni could, if his altered physiology allows it, gain empathy and change his path, but he hasn’t much time. Danni’s reputation as a monster will grow and tend to force him down a life path as narrow as Diana’s has been.

Bleak. Dismal. Hopeless. Many a movie tries for this, but they almost all fall sort of good fiction; they’re too explicit for their own good. Looking past the compelling atmosphere, I try to identify with people; Diana and Danny most interest me. For Diana, Danni presents an opportunity, a bit of flexilibity, a broadening of the narrow track that she had simply trudged along. For Danni, this place is, remarkably, and improvement. Does it come too late? Rethinking this episode for a review reminded me of the famous Twilight Zone episode, “It’s a Good Life,” arguably the most harrowing story on any screen. Danni resembles Anthony only in that power is all out of proportion to empathy. But whereas the TW episode is utterly without hope, the arrival of Danni is a ray of hope. Maybe. The stage is set. We’ve met the actors. Let the show unfold! 4 stars for promise.

To write [just] for fun isn’t realistic; writing is a lot of work. Some write because they must, to resolve by expression an internal mental mess. But for the rest of us, why do it unless it pleases you? Most of us gain satisfaction from a job well done. Research is part of that.