Matt Stryker - 1. Chapter 1

I sat in the makeup chair as the artist was putting powder on my face. To cut back on any shine, I was told. The backstage room was alive with activity preparing for the show to start. My eyes darted around the room looking for that one person. This was his life, not mine. So where was he?

“You look a little anxious.” A voice said behind me. Looking I saw Gina. She was the picture of perfection. That auburn hair, those green eyes. The suited blue dress pressed perfectly. She held a leather-bound notebook in her manicured hand, again perfection. She was the voice of millions! Her word made or broke anyone that came to her show. Books sold out, actors’ careers soared or fell, she was open, fair and had a loyal following. Her patient eyes glistened.

“I am.” I agreed. “This is a momentous moment. Either they will back us up, or hate us. It’s not the sort of thing one does lightheartedly.” I looked around again. “I just pray I’m not going to do it alone.”

She nodded and put a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m told his helicopter is on the roof now. He should be here any minute.” She reassured.

I sighed with relief. “Good.” Relaxing for what seems like a ton of anxiety. “I just hope we’re doing the right thing.” Then I rolled my eyes. “Like we have a choice.”

Gina smoothed her skirt and sat in the vacant chair next to me. “Listen, Eric. There will be some who won’t understand, they will be the small minded and ignorant. But I think you’ll be surprised. There will be people that will back you and a lot will thank you.”

I wanted to believe that.

“Here he is,” Gina announced looking on the other side of the room. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing?” I questioned. But I will admit I was so happy to see Matt. He was more handsome than ever. Sure, he had aged, but who doesn’t? The black hair I was given by Grandmother, or Dad, was still black and the brown eyes I got from Dad were still sharp. Matt’s dark brown hair was graying at the temples, there were a few lines near the eyes, but he was still in great shape. He was muscular, not an ounce of fat. He looked every part the mega-movie star he was. His eyes searched the many moving about, but Gina rose and waved to him. Matt’s eyes saw her, then me, his face softened as the smile made his face practically light up. That was the smile I loved, and it was just for me. He was rugged, handsome and masculine without effort. It was that that had pushed him into the hearts of the world who loved TV and movies. He strode over and Gina motioned for him to take the chair she had been sitting in.

“Just a moment,” Matt said. His eyes rested on me. “Hi, Baby.”

Okay, this was truly a brave new world. For decades we had hidden our relationship. No, public displays, no overt touching and definitely no kissing.

He leaned down as his face got closer. I instinctively withdrew. “Eric, the world is going to know in fifteen minutes. Backing away from a kiss now seems futile.”

“Habit,” I said, making him chuckle.

“Time to break the habit.” He grinned and pressed his lips to mine. It was not a quick chaste kiss. There was the desire, passion and mostly…love. This was not acting. He smiled at me. “It’ll be okay. I love you. Never forget that.”

I ran fingers over that beautiful face. “I never will. I love you, too.”

That was when we heard a sigh from Gina and the girl doing my makeup. Then the makeup girl frowned. “Now, I’ve got to undo the damage. Sit,” she ordered to Matt. “I’ll get you in a second.”

“Fifteen minutes!” The call came from an unknown source.

“It’ll be fine,” Gina assured. “Okay, you’ll hear the music and then I’ll announce you each, separately. Then we begin.” She looked at both of us. Of course, Matt was looking a little nervous, I looked white. “It will be fine, Eric.” She said again and walked off to get in place. The makeup girl hurried to finish the job and we were rushed to get in place. In some ways, it seemed that time was crawling slowly, but then Gina’s theme music began and the crowd in the audience were prompted by the flashing sign to “applaud.” Like they wouldn’t anyway. Now I was getting more anxious. Gina held her hands up as the flashing lighted sign went dark and the audience grew quiet. “This is a very important show. My guests are here to let the world in on a secret, many of you have speculated on it and now they are here to settle those rumors. My first guest is the owner of three restaurants, a bestselling author of fiction and some very important cookbooks, many of you have them, he is a screenwriter and an Oscar-winning artist. He came to Hollywood and became the consulting nutritionist to the stars and others, welcome Eric Richards!” She waved towards me.

The applause began again as Matt squeezed my hand. “This is it.”

I nodded. “Tell me about it.”

He chuckled again. Then kissed me quickly as I strode out. The applause grew as the cameras focused on me. I got to the conversation area under the lighted sign with Gina written on it. Gina hugged me and kissed my cheek as she invited me to sit.

Sitting Gina face me with a smile. “This is more than just a promotion about your new book, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “It is. This book will be addressing the issue facing me. It will be a tell-all book about myself and another person.”

Gina held up a book. The “dummy” book had the paper cover, with the “Our Lives” written on it. “This is also a kind of autobiography, isn’t it?”

“It is about me…” I looked offstage. “And the other I wrote about.”

Gina stood. “Who is my next guest. Everyone knows him. He starred in the acclaimed television show Undercover Mob and starred in many films, including Scarred, the physically scarred police officer who infiltrated the Mob in his first of the Scarred series and has now finished the fifth of the Scarred films. Matt Stryker!”

The audience reaction was one I expected. They went nuts! Applause, hoots and catcalls, whistles as Matt strode out waving to the audience. They loved him. And he deserved it. He was what most women wanted and most men wanted to be. He was good looking, large, muscular and the ideal male for the people of the world, or so it seemed. He was hugged by Gina, kissed on the cheek just as I was. Then he grinned at me. The wink was telling me, the time was now. I rose, and I know what he was planning, I hugged him first. Then he kissed me. On the mouth and it was no “hello” kiss. Even more, so that he had done in the prepping area. Now the audience really was going crazy! There were gasps, the applause was thunderous and the whistles. This went on for what seemed like…well, it just seemed to last and last! Matt grinned at me. “Seems I messed up the makeup again.”

I laughed lightly and ran a finger over his lips. “Yours too.” I kissed him again. “It’s out now.”

He put his forehead against mine. “No turning back.” He grinned. “At last.”

The show had to go to a commercial as the audience was still going crazy. The makeup girl came out and fixed us, so that went we came back, we were sitting on the sofa next to Gina’s chair. The audience had gotten control and Gina smiled. “Well, that was a very….passionate kiss.”

Matt and I looked at each other and smiled. He took my hand. “I’ve done better,” Matt said making the audience applaud again. It was quickly stopped.

“Why now?” Gina asked.

“It was time,” Matt replied.

“When Matt began acting, his career took the important place in our lives,” I added. “His image was paramount to everything.”

“No one wants their hero to be gay,” Matt said sadly.

“But you were married before and engaged twice other times,” Gina said puzzled.

Matt nodded. “I was briefly married to Eric’s aunt.”

“That’s how we met,” I added.

“And the other two were more for publicity,” Matt explained. “The studio thought it was a good idea.”

“So, you were Eric’s uncle when you met.” Gina clarified.

“Be sure to understand,” I said firmly. “He was married to my aunt. He was never my biological uncle.”

“And that marriage only lasted six months.” Matt further explained. “The marriage lasted a year before it was legally ended.”

“It was the best thing my aunt has done. I’ll always be grateful.” I said.

“So this relationship began then?” Gina asked.

“No, no,” I said quickly. “I was smitten day one, but we corresponded a few years before we became involved. I had to graduate from high school before we did.”

“High school!? How old were you when you met?” Gina asked.

“He was sixteen,” Matt said. “I was twenty-one.”

“And you’ve been a couple….”

Matt looked at me. “Twenty years?”

I nodded. “There about, yes.”

“That’s better than most straight Hollywood marriages,” Gina commented glumly.

“But he was very important to me,” Matt said. “He was always in my corner. He nursed me through addiction and alcoholism, he got me back in shape. He saved my career.”

I blushed a little on that.

“How does Eric’s family feel about it? Do they know about it?” Gina asked.

I nodded. “Oh, yes, they’ve known since day one. My mother was our biggest supporter, and my grandparents…”

“And your aunt?” Gina asked with a knowing smile.

“Well…” Matt hedged with a smile. “Mary was not happy about it first, but she’s a big supporter now.”

 

Asheville, NC 1985

It was a beautiful Summer day. The Fourth of July. I sat under the big Willow tree in my grandparents front yard. The Appalachian mountains that surrounded the large Victorian house were alive and green. My grandparents lived in a little town called Candler, North Carolina. A town at the Western edge of Asheville. I loved it here. There was life everywhere. The grass was green. The place had been a farm as long as it had been here and the fields near it were also green, with the occasional horse feeding on grass. It was not really a functioning farm now. There was still Grandmother’s garden she tended. She grew tomatoes, potatoes, corn, beans, and other assorted vegetables. But that was it. Granddad now worked at the big plant Enka. To be honest, I never really knew what they made there, but it was huge and many up here were employed there, including my Uncle Earl, Mom’s only brother. There was the ever-present sound of the brook that ran by the house, or “branch” as it was known here. There were sounds of buzzing as insects flew around occasionally the breeze through the trees. Peaceful. The ever-present Joe was lazing beside me. Joe was a special dog. No one really knew where he came from, but he wandered on the farm, loved my grandfather and never left. The big white and black dog loved only my grandfather and me. He tolerated the rest of the family, but if they tried to pet him, he was just get up and walk away. Loyal to just grandfather. The pleasant day was going to be fun. I had fireworks and we were going to cook hamburgers and hotdogs, eat my grandmother’s great potato salad. It was going to be great! Then I heard the cough again. Dad. He sounded like he was coughing his lungs out. And he was. He had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer and was going to die. That much I knew for a fact. He was in stage 4, the final stage. My mother and grandmother were trying their cures for him, if for no other reason than to help him in this, the last few days of his life. I could smell the Eucalyptus out here. There were other things in it, but it would calm his coughing. Grandmother and mother worked to get the vapor in dad. That’s when I heard the music. My great-great grandfather had bought the land where he did on purpose. It was a horseshoe valley. The house was at the end of that horseshoe, one road in and the same road out. Hearing what was clearly a radio in a car, I knew they were coming here. That’s when I saw the Trans Am, black and new with a T-top. The top open and a blonde haired woman on the passenger side. An unknown male driving. It pulled up the gravel driveway and rested near me. My Aunt Mary. Mom’s sister. She was in her mid-twenties now and gorgeous. The problem was, she knew it. Blonde hair, blue eyes and a figure most men go crazy to touch. She grinned at me as the man got out, came around and opened the door for her. “Hi, Eric!”

Even Joe looked up at her. No tail wag. Just laid his head back down.

“Aunt Mary.” I nodded.

“I want you to meet, Matt Stryker.” She announced taking the man’s arm. Then she added. “Your new uncle.” She looked at this new man, who was gorgeous. Of course, he was. Mary wouldn’t have any less. Dark hair, brown, windblown but neatly cut. He was tall, about six feet and three inches. He was an athlete in the past, muscular with a nice chest and well-sculpted arms. The jeans he wore were snug, showing nice thighs. Of course, I noted that. I’m gay! But he was my uncle, so I pushed any feelings down.

“Hi, Matt.” I greeted.

Matt nodded at me. “Eric. It’s nice to meet you.” He leaned down and shook my hand.

Mary looked at the house. “Everyone in the house?” She asked, but of course, she knew where they’d be. “Come on, I want to show everyone!” She grabbed Matt’s arm and drug him into the house. It was Summer and a nice day, so the windows were open. I heard it all. “Everyone, I want you to meet Matt Stryker.” Then hesitated only briefly. “My husband.”

“What!?” I heard grandfather’s voice of shock.

“Mary!” Grandmother said irritated. “What were you thinking?”

If Mary heard them, it never phased her. It never did. “Isn’t he gorgeous!?”

“He’s a human being, Mary.” Grandfather said equally irritated. “He’s not a horse! How old are you, son?”

“Twenty-one,” Matt replied.

“He’s legal, at least.” Grandmother said. “You were on a business trip, you told me.” Grandmother said to Mary.

“I was,” Mary said. “A friend said let’s go to Vegas so I went. Matt and I met there and the rest….was amazing. We were in love instantly.”

“Mary, this is so reckless.” Grandmother chastised. Then Dad started coughing again.

Mary was always flighty. Her head was not always turned on. “Is he still sick? Shouldn’t he have recovered by now?”

“He has cancer, Mary.” I heard my mother say. “There is no cure. We’re trying to help him. Either help us or with dinner or go somewhere else. We’re busy.”

“Oh, I’ll help,” Mary said going to do something. “Make yourself useful, Honey.”

Then I heard grandfather sigh. “Welcome to the family, Matt.”

 

Things did calm down a bit. Then I heard someone walk toward me. Matt sat on the ground beside me.

“Hello again,” Matt said as the sound of Dad’s coughing came again. “Your father is pretty sick.”

I nodded. “Lung cancer. He’s terminal.”

Matt nodded and picked up a dandelion and began to pull it apart. “My father died of Black Lung disease. It sounds a lot like him before he died. All those years in the Coal Mines.”

“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. “It doesn’t sound like it was any more pleasant than Lung Cancer.”

“It wasn’t.” Matt agreed. “But that was his job. For twenty years he was down there.”

“Dad quit smoking years ago, but…”

Matt nodded.

“Our family is a little different.” I grinned at him. But what was more surprising was Matt began to pet Joe. And Joe wasn’t leaving!

“Oh?”

“You’ll see.” I smiled. Then Dad could be heard again. I got angry. Not with Matt, but Dad. “I know he didn’t do this on purpose. But why now?”

Matt looked surprised. “What? Dying?”

I blew an exacerbated breath. “I know! It’s not his fault, but I’m angry! We were going to have a great day! We were going to shoot fireworks and cookout! I’m mad about being mad!” I rose. “This cancer thing is like this…ugly monster that is destroying him! It’s ruining everything! Most of the time I want Dad to get better, but he won’t. Now I just wish it was done!”

Matt stood next to me. “You wish your father would die.” It wasn’t a question. “I remember that.”

“No one deserves to die like this,” I argued. “Dad is a great man. Mom and Dad love each other so much. I hate what it’s doing to Mom, not just Dad.”

Matt put his hand on my shoulder. “I know.” And he did! He lived through something like this. “It is so cruel. You will wish your father would die. To ease his pain and to get your life back.”

“Yes!” I shouted and felt a tear falling. “Damn it!”

Matt grabbed me in a hug. “Tears are good, Eric. Let it out.”

And I did. I bawled for a few minutes. When I seemed to have nothing left. Matt pushed me back a little.

“Well, I’m not a cook, but I can grill.” He grinned. “Let’s get those hamburgers and hotdogs. You can get the fireworks ready and we’ll have that good evening. Okay?”

I like this man. My Aunt Mary was flighty and shallow, but and I found myself hoping he was going to stay. Again, I knew it was selfish, but I really liked Matt. And we did salvage the evening. He fired up the grill and he and I got things going. My father even joined us during the fireworks and he ate a hamburger. Yea! It was a good day.

Two weeks later, Dad lost his battle with Lung Cancer. Everyone in the family came to the funeral. Except for Mary. No surprise there. She didn’t do death or funerals. I was amazed that Matt showed up. I was with the guests that had shown up to the funeral home when Matt walked over.

“Hey.” He greeted.

“Matt!” I said shocked. “What are you doing here?”

He looked a bit like he was feeling out of place. “A family member died.” He said. “I am family now, right?”

I felt a little embarrassed now. “Of course you are.” I nodded and looked at the others. “Mary came with you?” My tone said it all. Surprise and doubt.

Matt blushed a little. “No.” He paused thinking of what to say. “She…was busy.”

I smiled at Matt. “It’s okay. I would really have been very surprised if you’d managed to talk her into coming.”

“So you’re the lucky man, huh?” A voice said behind me.

I turned to find my Uncle Earl. “Yes, Uncle Earl, this is the man who married Aunt Mary.”

Earl was about thirty. A good looking man with brown-blonde hair and a character. “What on earth were you thinking?” He asked shaking his head.

“Be nice, Earl.” Another voice said. Behind him was his wife. A beauty with long black hair. “I’m Pat, Earl’s wife.”

Matt nodded and shook both their hands. “Well, to be honest. There wasn’t a lot of thinking.” I had the feeling it was mostly about his not thinking. “We had been out partying and well…”

Earl nodded. “A little drunk were we?” He grinned.

“A lot drunk,” Matt admitted.

Earl nodded more. “Ah, now I get it. I knew no one in their right mind would marry her.”

“Earl!” Pat jabbed him in the rib.

Earl shook his head. “No, don’t misunderstand. I love her to death. It’s just that…she’s…”

“A didst?” I offered.

“Bubble-headed.” Pat put in.

“Not really the marrying kind.” Earl clarified. “She’s a great artist. Does amazing work with her interior designs, but she’s just sort of out there sometimes.” Earl did the circle with his finger near his temple indicating insanity. Then he stuck his hand out. “Welcome to our crazy family.”

Matt had begun to worry when we had said the negative things about his wife but grinned when he realized he was being welcomed.

A little arm came around Earl’s knee making him look down at the beautiful little face of a little girl with hair so blonde it was nearly white. Four years old. Big blue eyes gazing at him with a smile on her face.

“Are you lost, little girl?” He asked surprised.

The little girl just smiled more. This was a game they played often. “Daddy.”

Earl looked shocked. “Daddy!?” He reached down and picked her up. “I remember having a couple of little girls, which one are you?”

She giggled at him and hugged him around the neck.

Earl pointed at Matt. “Tammy, this is your new Uncle Matt. Aunt Mary’s husband. Say hi.”

Tammy looked up a little shyly. “Hi.”

Matt smiled at her. “Hello, Tammy.”

Pat touched her husband. “Oh, your Mom is having a fussy Dana. It’s way past her bedtime.” Then she touched Tammy. “And yours.”

Earl nodded. “Are you taking them back?”

Pat took Tammy. “I will. This one needs to be fed first.”

“We’ll be there soon,” Earl promised kissing her.

I reached for Pat. “I have her dinner in the fridge back at the store. I didn’t know what to make for Dana.”

Pat grinned. “I make hers.” She hefted a breast. She looked at Earl. “Stay as you need to, Honey. Your sister is doing great, but…” she shrugged.

Grandmother came over after Pat had taken a baby away to get them back. “Matt.” She greeted. “It’s wonderful that you came. That says a lot about you.” She said. “You don’t have to worry about making points with me, but this is a big one.”

Matt had seen us interact and together. He smiled at Grandmother. “I felt like I had to.”

“Well,” my grandfather said walking up behind grandmother. “You did. That is the important part.”

Grandmother touched his arm. “Understand, when Mary showed up with you that day…well…let’s say that you will always be welcome at our home.” She looked at him fiercely. “Always.”

Matt looked uncomfortable a split second, then he nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’ll always be family,” Grandfather added.

“This family is amazing,” Matt said. “Mr. Sams, you’ve done a great job raising them.”

Mom walked over. “And you’ll be coming to dinner.”

Matt was shocked. “Tonight?”

“Of course, tonight.” Grandmother nodded. “Eric is a fabulous cook. He’s made one of his specialties.”

Matt looked at me. “You cook.”

“I do.” I nodded. “You do like seafood, don’t you?”

Matt nodded, surprised I would ask. “Of course.”

“I made my special seafood lasagna,” I said.

“Seafood lasagna? I’ve never had it.” Matt smiled at me.

“We have plenty,” Mom assured. She looked away. “Oh, there’s Mr. and Mrs. Curtis.” She walked over after excusing herself.

We stayed a couple of more hours then headed home. We lived in Charleston, South Carolina. I rode with Matt in his car back.

“So where are you from?” I asked.

He smiled. “Charleston.” He watched my eyebrows rise. “West Virginia. Coal mines, remember?”

I nodded. “Oh.” I grinned. “Odd that. Both from Charleston, but different states. Interesting, though.”

I had given him directions and knew what was going to happen. He pulled into the drive, parking lot of the warehouse. It was huge. Thousands of square feet. All brick.

“You live here,” Matt said to clarify.

“Here.” I nodded. “All my life.” We passed the sign that wasn’t lit at the moment. “To Your Health.” I knew I should explain. Might as well do it now. “Mom and Dad were hippies. They only married about ten years ago. Mom was a botanist and Dad was a biochemist. He inherited this old fishery from his parents when they died and my parents decided to use it to raise herbs.”

“Herbs?”

I took a deep breath. “Mom inherited her family’s thing. That was healing people. Back in those hills where you met my grandparents, back before the depression, doctors were hard to come by. Especially ones that would traipse up the many hills to heal the people in need. Great-great grandma did. She used her knowledge of root cures and herbs to help her treat people there. Great-Grandma did the same and so did Grandma. It just seemed natural to Mom and Dad to do the same. Only more of it. Mom studied botany and researched what herbs, roots did what. Dad helped her with the chemistry part. A lot of the cures need to be in concentrated form and Dad stepped in and concentrated them and put them in pill form for easier consumption.”

“And they work?” Matt asked.

“Sure.” I nodded. “We can treat Gout to Arthritis. Menstrual cramps to high blood sugar. We raise spices as well. All in their own native soils and some in greenhouses to keep the environment constant and like their native habitats.”

“This place is huge!” Matt commented as he pulled to a stop.

I shrugged. “It was mostly going to waste when the fishery shut down. This seemed the best thing to do.” I opened the door. “I’ll show you.” I opened the front store. There were bins and bins of plants and powders. Jars of liquids. Teas and coffees.

“And you know all this stuff!?” Matt asked incredibly looking over the many items.

I nodded. “I’ve been doing it for ten years. I better.” I grinned as he looked with awe at the volume of various items. “In fact, dinner tonight will be made with fresh grown mushrooms, garlic, basil, cayenne…..all raised here.”

“Really?”

I shrugged. “Now the clams, shrimp, and fish I had to get fresh, but from a reputable monger.”

“You said this was a fishery.”

“Yes, but raising fish as well as everything else, we couldn’t. Now there are large tanks we use in the closed part of the old fishery to raise seaweed to algae. In their native water and temperatures.”

“Damn!” Matt balked.

“Yep.” I nodded. “Damn. It takes at least a decade to learn it. And I still don’t know everything about them. I’m always learning more.” I laughed.

“And this is what you want to do?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I love to cook. I’ve toyed with the idea of starting a restaurant. A healthy one.”

“Tofu and all that shit?”

I laughed. “No shit. And no tofu.” I shrugged. “Although tofu can be a good filler, for vegetarians who need protein, it’s great. But healthy doesn’t mean giving foods up. You have to cook it right. Fresh, no hormones, antibiotics and all that. Free range chickens…all of it.”

“And that works.”

“Been doing it for five years. You tell me tonight.” I said and led him through to the living area. We lived in the back area of the warehouse. It was nice, to me. There weren’t a lot of windows, that was the only thing, but wide open spaces. There was a large window in the kitchen area above the sink which we loved as it allowed a great deal of light in when working. In the kitchen, Grandmother was getting the lasagna heated. Earl was setting the table. Granddad was sitting on the sofa watching a little TV as Matt and I came in. Granddad brightened when we came in.

“What do you think?” Granddad asked with a grin. He motioned toward the surroundings. “Pretty nice, huh? When Betty told me where she and Ken were planning to live, I was very concerned, but they did a good job converting this place.”

Matt looked at the comfortable surroundings and smiled. “It is like nothing I expected.” He looked at me. “And when Eric told me what they did, I was dumbfounded when he told me so much. He’s an amazing man.”

Mother came into the living area. “He’s very smart. He even has his own business within the business.”

Matt’s look was expressing interest.

“I have a smoothie and juice bar.” I shrugged. “I can tailor the smoothie to what you need. Charlie horses when you run, I can treat that. Boost your metabolism, slow your metabolism, gain muscle, lose weight. I got it.”

“You're how old?” Matt asked.

“I’ll be sixteen in two months.”

His face was shocked. “Sixteen!? You’re still in high school!?”

I didn’t understand why he was amazed by that. “Yes. I begin my sophomore year in a month.”

Matt seemed to know I was confused. “I was just shocked by your age. I thought you were in college…a little older than….you’re fifteen!?”

I nodded. “Is there something wrong?”

Matt shook his head. “No.” His eyes told me he was thinking. “To know so much about plants and herbs, to have a business…at fifteen. That is unbelievable.”

“I was born into this business.” I began. “I was tending plants when I could hold a spade. Mom taught me about plants and what they were good for almost from birth. It just made sense to start a business.”

“And he does a great job.” Mom said. “Now, we’ve got some heavy things to take care of tomorrow. Let’s eat and get some rest.”

 

It was during the meal. To which Matt was again amazed. He liked what I had made, even asked for seconds.

“I hope you don’t mind bunking with Eric tonight.” Mom said.

Matt wasn’t prepared for this. “I was going to check into a motel or something.”

Mom looked at him. “Is that your wish? You are family. Eric has a king-sized bed in his room. We have four bedrooms, but with Mom and Dad in one, Earl, Pat and the girls in the second, I have one and Eric has the other. Eric is the best choice. You should stay.”

This seemed alien to Matt. “I would love to.” He looked at me. “You don’t mind?”

Well, I would, but not because I didn’t want him there. I did. But to sleep with him? And I mean slumber. What the hell? “Of course not.”

Mom gave a quick nod. “It’s settled.”

 

My room was like the rest of the place. Unique. There were still parts of this huge place that we could use. This part had been where the stored the fish for distribution. It took a while for the smell to abate. Like most areas, the room were two stories each, so I had a ceiling very high. I had to add a little covering to keep the heat in. I had a kerosene heater to heat it. There were huge fans in the walls at various places to blow the hot air out when it was summer. The main area had a bed. I had my own bathroom, which was small, but it had a shower, toilet, and sink. I was good. It was a typical teenagers room. I had the stereo and weights, posters of rock stars and favorite movies. A desk and chair. A dresser. An area rug beneath the bed kept my feet warm when getting out of bed.

“What’s over there?” He pointed to a walled off section.

I looked up. “Oh, that was where Dad’s lab is. He puts the various herbs into gel caps. He can concentrate and put almost anything in those caps.”

Matt nodded. “You’ve probably noticed my shock. About a lot of things since I married into this family.”

“I have,” I admitted.

“I’ve spoken to you about my father.” Matt began. “It’s just…when I see you all. You’re so close. It shows that not only are your family, but friends. You like to be with each other. That just floored me.”

I nodded. “You’re not used to that, are you?”

“Dad died about ten years ago. Mom drinks. I don’t know where my brother is.” Matt explained. “I’ve not seen a member of my family in five years.” He smiled. “It’s really nice to see a family that behaves like a family. For that, I’m glad I married your aunt.”

I smiled at him. “And you always will be a part of this family,” I explained. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Aunt Mary. I hope the two of you are happy and I like you.” I didn’t know how to say it, but just to come out and say it. “I was surprised that Aunt Mary married anyone, but her attention span is….short. I’ll be even more surprised to see if you’re married in a year. But as Granddad and Grandma said, you’ll always be welcomed and this family is yours.”

Matt grinned. “I married into the right family.”

“I whole heartily agree.”

Now was the temptation part. Getting ready for bed. He had a suit he’d brought with him, of course, but he had not brought pajamas. Then again, I didn’t wear them either. And, try I as I would, he was beautiful. It was hard not to look. I said he had to have been a high school athlete. Well-built and muscular. A wide back. The rounded pecs were sprinkled with hairs, dark and light. A goodie trail dripped from his navel into his BVD’s. Well-formed legs and arms. He caught me looking.

I merely commented. “What is it you do?”

“Construction mostly.”

I nodded. “That explains it. You don’t develop that kind of muscles sitting behind a desk.” It was a good save.

“Your aunt hates it.” Matt began. “Not the body, but the work.”

“Not highbrow enough?”

Matt chuckled. “No. She’s always getting me these interviews, where I will be behind the desk.” He shrugged. “I have no college, so I don’t qualify for half the jobs she wants me to get.”

“But you make good money.” I reminded.

“I can.” Matt nodded. “The car I have is probably the nicest thing I’ve got. That and the vacation I took in Vegas.” He looked off. “She sees that now.”

I knew it. We all did. Uncle Earl, Aunt Pat, Mom, Grandma, Granddad all saw it coming. This was an Edgar Allen Poe moment. I could practically hear the pendulum swinging. This too good a marriage was going to end. “I’m sorry.”

He chuckled a little bitterly. “It’s my fault. We did a stupid thing. Married with no knowledge of one another. Too fast, too much, too soon.” He shook his head. Then he smiled at me. “But, if you mean it, I’m glad I have all of you.”

“You certainly do.”

 

The funeral was nice. As nice as any funeral can be. But Mom and I had prepared beforehand, we knew it was going to happen. It was still hard. The thing was, Matt never let go! He went back to Atlanta, where Aunt Mary and he lived. He went back to his job. But he called just to talk. He wrote to me! No one really writes anyone anymore. He would tell me what happened that week, what he was hoping for, ideas and goals and ask me what mine were. I was stunned that someone would bother, much less care. I was a stranger to him really. He tells me that when working on a set with TBS, the new Turner Broadcast Station, he was asked to appear on a show as a walk in. To be honest, the show stunk! But he loved it. The acting, not the show.

My sixteenth birthday was coming and Matt and Aunt Mary invited me to fly to Atlanta for the weekend. I wasn’t fooled a bit. It was all Matt’s idea. Aunt Mary never had invited me and never would think to. But I said sure. I flew to Atlanta. From Charleston, you just get in the air and then came down. Very short. I was pleased to see Matt at the gate.

“Hey, Matt.”

He hugged me. “You’re aunt had…a business trip. So she wouldn’t be here.”

See? “That’s okay,” I said. “She wasn’t the real reason I came.”

He grinned. “Oh? Why did you come?”

“I like you, Matt,” I answered. “I have since day one. I like spending time with you.”

He chuckled. “The same feeling I have with you. Let’s get this weekend started.”

He took me to this great pizza place downtown Atlanta.

“I didn’t know if you would care for the food here. I know it’s good, but with your healthy habits…”

I smiled at him. “Relax.” I laughed. “I love a good pizza. I will eat all sorts of things. The occasional food that isn't processed and all that is fine. Hell, Mom loves a good cheeseburger.”

“Does she?” Matt grinned. “Then you’ll love this.” When the waitress came he ordered a pizza with all the meats and a beer for himself. It was great! “I was offered a job.”

“Doing what?”

“Acting.” Matt grinned slyly. “There is another show they want to do and they said I would be perfect for the character. They like my acting.”

“Great!” I nodded.

That night, Aunt Mary returned to the apartment late. I heard Matt and her arguing about where she was, and what she was doing from the other bedroom. It was about 3:30 when I heard the door open to my room. I heard Matt come in and laid out on the floor. I rolled over.

“Really, Matt?” I asked. “You have a great sofa in the living room.”

“Which I am forbidden to lay on,” Matt growled. “You’re Aunt and her decorating.”

I shook my head. “Well, you’re not laying on the floor.” I slid over in the double bed. “We’ve done it before. Come on.” I held the covers back.

He got up, stretching his back, which was obviously hurting. “Thanks.” He slid in next to me.

I was in big trouble. I was falling in love with my uncle. Aunt Mary was an idiot. But I knew that already.

We had a blast at Six Flags. We rode every ride, the rollercoasters two and three times! Neither of us could get enough. Sunday, after lunch, I had to fly home. It was Christmas when I saw Matt again, but he was still writing me at least once a week and calling at least once a month. When I saw them where we gathered for the Holidays, they told us they were divorcing. Duh.

“We told you, Mary.” My Grandmother said. “He’s coming to this house any time he wishes. He’s a part of this family.”

“Mother! We’re divorcing!” Mary all but whined.

“So?” Granddad said. “We all knew this was going to happen. We’re not divorcing him. Every holiday and occasion we celebrate as a family, he will be invited to. Get used to it.”

“There was one lesson I tried to teach you all as children,” Grandma said. “For every choice made, there are consequences. You chose to marry this man. He’s a good man. We accepted him in the family and we are not turning him away because you made a mistake.”

And they did divorce, it took a few months, but it was done.

Matt did a fabulous job on this new show. The show was not great, but Matt was. It was that next Fourth of July when he told us.

“I’m going to L.A.”

I nearly choked on my hamburger. “What!?”

He nodded. “I was offered a part in a new series. I begin shooting in a month.”

Mom looked at me and knew. “That’s wonderful, Matt. It must be a great part.”

Matt was so excited about his future. He didn’t notice I was heartbroken. “It is…I play this war-ravaged police officer. He comes to Los Angeles and busts heads. It’s a tired plot, but they have hopes it will be a hit. And they think I can be a part of it.”

Grandmother nodded. “Wonderful. I can tell all my friends…my son is a star.”

That evening when everyone was having a great time, I was a little sullen. Mom came over.

“This news that Matt shared isn’t sitting too well with you.” She said sitting.

I looked up surprised. “What? No, I’m happy for him. I know he’ll do well.”

“It’s you that isn’t happy.”

I nodded. “I’ll miss him.”

She nodded. “We all will, except Mary. But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

I rolled my eyes. “Stop. Because you know me so well, you already know I’m in love with him.”

She smiled patiently. “I know.” She leaned a little closer. “He loves you, too.”

I sat up startled. “What!? How do you know that?”

She chuckled. “Really?” She shook her head. “Who else calls once a month and writes once a week? If he does it with anyone else, I’d be surprised.”

“He has no family except us. He may love me like a kid brother. He stepped in as a father figure since Dad passed away.” I reasoned.

“Perhaps, but I don’t think so.” She said. “Have you asked him?”

“Of course not!” I said immediately. “First he was my uncle. Now he’s moving away. He’ll be thousands of miles away. What do I say? I’m in love with you, don’t go?”

Mom gave a grim smile. “But he’ll know. It doesn’t take much to see that he hasn’t met a family like ours.” She chuckled. “We aren’t the Cleavers. He may not accept he’s gay. But anyone with eyes can see he loves you. How much and to what end, I can’t say, but he deserves to know.”

I shook my head. “He deserves to make his dreams come true. He shouldn’t sacrifice any for me.”

“He doesn’t have to.”

“And there’s the whole age thing. I’ll be seventeen in October.”

Mom nodded. “And he is twenty-two. Interesting that was the same ages your father and I were.”

“That’s different.” I objected.

“Why?” Mother asked. “Because you’re both men?”

I nodded. “For one. Despite how you view relationships, most people would frown on this and you know it.”

She nodded. “And I had you out of wedlock.” She put her hand on me. “Son, I’ve always told you to love honestly. To respect the one you loved, and it didn’t matter who that was. Female or male. I told you that when you told me you were gay.”

I nodded. “You did.”

She smiled. “This family has already had that.”

“Oh?”

“Your great Uncle Bob. When he came back after World War II with his partner he met in the navy. He was ostracized by nearly everyone. That’s why he and Stan moved to Paris.”

I sat back. “I didn’t know that.”

“We really didn’t talk about it much,” Mom confessed sadly. She sighed. “You are old enough to know what you want and how to get it. Just know I’ll be behind you, whatever you decide.” She patted me on the knee and rose. “But do us a favor. It is the Fourth of July. You need to decide what you’re doing and be happy with it. Otherwise, you’ll make everyone here depressed.”

Mom was right. I shouldn’t bring everyone else down. I decided it was too soon for Matt and me to confess any feelings we had, if any, to each other. He was just divorced but was fine with that. I knew I was not. The idea of getting involved with a man that married my aunt. Eww. Not the most mature stance on things, but that’s where I was. And who knew we would get involved if I told him? He could be grossed out! Nothing about the man said he was gay! And I wasn’t ready to find out if he was. Mom and Dad were phenomenal when I told them I was gay. Like I said earlier, they were hippies. Free Love? Make Love, Not War. That era. They were fine with it. No, we were not the Cleavers. I did have a torch for Tony Dow, though. Wally, Beaver’s big brother, remember? He was hot. Ward wasn’t bad either. But I cheered up. Decision made.

Matt’s career took off like the police were chasing him. He was so good, he was asked to play some parts in other shows. He played a villain, a hero…all parts. What was great is he changed with every part! You know there are some actors that in every picture or show they do. That’s the same actor. No change. Always the same. Not Matt. He changed with everyone! His accent and inflection would change. His show, “Mob Undercover,” was intense with nonstop action from beginning to end! He was exciting! And yet, he still managed to write as always and call. I was thrilled! Maybe Mom was right! Again at the Fourth of July, he was at the house.

“Why does he keep coming?” Mary moaned when the rental car pulled up.

My mother just smiled looking out the window. “He’s family.” She said simply. Then looked at her sister. “He loves us.” Then looked at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, yes, you’re right. Mom is always right.” He needed to be told.

Mary looked at the two of us confused. “Right? About what?”

Mom just patted her sister. “Don’t worry about it.” Mom winked at me.

Then Matt blew us all away. “I’ve been given a part in a movie!”

“No way!” I marveled.

“Yes, way!” Matt corrected. “I’ll be filming in Australia in a year!”

Why was it every victory for him, moved him away from me?

“And I want you to come with me.” He said to me.

Now that, I was not ready for. “Me!? Why do you want me there?”

“You’ll be finished with school. Going to college after that with a break between, just perfect for a trip away.” Matt reasoned.

I didn’t know what to say. “Australia? And what am I to do there while you’re working?”

He leveled a look on me. “Work. It’ll be right up your alley!”

“What!?” I gapped.

“You know nutrition and diet and all that shit.” Matt was really excited.

Granddad gave his throat a little clearing, but it wasn’t to remove phlegm. He didn’t approve of that kind of language in certain settings. I guess this was one.

Grandmother looked at her husband patting his hand. “You’ve said much worse, dear.”

“Sorry, Dad,” Matt commented, but never took his eyes off me.

“You want me to do that for you?” I asked amazed.

“It would be a great experience,” Matt said logically. “You can cook and tell me what I should and shouldn’t eat. What do you say?”

I really didn’t know what to say.

“Just think about it.” Matt encouraged. “And I got a surprise for you coming up.”

“What?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?” Matt grinned evilly.

I looked at Mom, she was smiling a little too big. “You know what it is, don’t you?”

She gave a shrugging nod. “I do. You’ll just have to wait.”

“How long?” I asked.

“Little over a month,” Matt said and started eating again.

Okay. I was never one of those kids that crept down in the middle of the night, Christmas night to see what I’d gotten. It was given to me and I’d get it in the morning. So, again, he had a surprise coming and I would know in a month. Fine. My last year of high school and I was a couple of weeks into the year when all hell broke out around the school. Everyone was reacting in excitement. Up and down the halls I saw people racing to the end for some reason. I was curious but busy. I was in my AP Lit class. College-level studies in English Literature.

A head popped in. “You’ll never believe who’s here!” The girl claimed and left without telling. Then popped back in. “And he’s coming this way!!”

My teacher frowned. “Who’s coming this way?”

“Jason Merit!” She claimed.

I knew that name. That was the character Matt played on Undercover Mob. “Matt? Here!?” I asked. “Why!?”

The raucous in the hall was building as I watched the crowd let Mr. Hiott, our principal, and Matt Stryker in the classroom. Mr. Hiott was talking with Matt as they entered. Mr. Hiott motioned toward me as most of the girls were sighing and enraptured. Some of the guys, too. Me too, if I thought about it.

“There he is.” Mr. Hiott pointed out with a grin. He knew it before, too!

Matt grinned at me. “Remember the surprise I said was coming at the Fourth of July?”

I nodded.

“This is it! You’re going with me to the Emmy Awards!” Matt announced. That brought a few of the girls to a loud “aw” and a few stunned looks. I was not a name dropper. No one here even knew I was or had been family with Matt. Now the whole school knew.

“That’s not until this weekend.” I objected.

“I know.” Matt nodded. He frowned. “Are you saying you don’t wanna come?”

“Hell no!” I jumped out of my desk and raced to the front of the class. “Of course, I wanna come. I was thinking of my school work.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Mr. Hiott assured. “All of your assignments have been forwarded. You’re a good student. I know you’ll catch up.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “Your Mother told me a couple of months ago. It was all pre-arranged.” He winked at me.

That was not Mr. Hiott. He never winked! If I only knew what the future was…I would have been a little less frightened. Mr. Hiott was a widower. He lost his wife to cancer just like I lost Dad. That was three years ago for him. He was a good looking man in his late thirties or early forties, a former marine, served in Vietnam. He forever wore his black hair like he was still in the corp. He instilled fear in every cutup and punk at the school. He barked, we jumped. He could be terrifying! If I had only known. I go with them out front where there is a black limousine waiting. My mother waved at me from the passenger side of the back, a glass of champagne in her hand and a smile on her face. She got out as I approached.

“Surprise!” Mom giggled at me. She never giggled. It must be from the champagne.

I grinned at her. “Yes, surprise.” Then I got another surprise. Mr. Hiott kissed my Mom as we were leaving. Then he looked at me with a smile and winked at me AGAIN! What the fuck!? He spoke to her.

“See you tonight.” It wasn’t a question!

I was still gaping when Matt pulled me into the limo. “We’ve got a plane to catch.”

As Mom got in she was smiling a bit more than she needed to. “Something wrong, honey?”

“He’s my principal!” I blurted out. “You’re dating my principal!?”

Mom sipped her champagne calmly. “No, I’m dating Floyd, who just happens to be your principal. For another year.”

“But he’s the enemy!” I protested.

She laughed at me. “He is not the enemy, Sweetie. He’s a man and a very attractive man. You know I was not one of those who protested the soldiers that came back from Vietnam. I never did that. He didn’t choose to serve, he was drafted. He never killed a baby or raped a woman.”

Mom was a beautiful woman, to my eyes as well as anyone else’s eyes. I just never imagined she’d date my principal. This day had been so great. Now?

“Baby, it’s okay.” She assured me. “He’s been a lonely man since his wife died. I’ve been lonely since your father died. I have needs.”

She was my mother! I knew she was human, but…my mother! I breathed evenly. “Okay. Just give me a moment. Too many surprises at once.”

She chuckled.

“I am going to treat you so well in L.A.” Matt told me. “We’ll go shopping on Rodeo Drive, get some clothes, you’ll get a haircut from Robere’s, we’re going to the party at Spelling’s house….”

“Aaron Spelling!?”

“He is the producer of my show, yes.” Matt nodded. “All of the big names for his shows will be there. You’ll get to meet them.”

“The cast of Dynasty?” Mom asked.

Matt nodded. “Everyone from William Shatner, Lee Majors, and Linda Evans, Joan Collins….everyone.” Then his face sort of fell. “And Bianca.”

“Bianca?” I questioned.

“My….ur…fiancé.”

Now I was really upset. “Fiancé!? You never once said a word about a fiancé.”

Even Mom was looking at Matt a little upset. “You want to marry this woman?”

He sort of nodded. “No, not really. It is a Network thing. But she’ll be there and I am supposed to be seen with her.”

“Bianca Lopez?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Who’s Bianca Lopez?” Mom asked.

“She’s the star if one of the other big shows this season. Baycity?” I said feeling the heat of anger fade. Mom didn’t watch a lot of TV. “She’s one girl that can really kick ass.” I looked at Matt. “So, you’re not in love with her.”

He frowned. “No.” Then he sat back. “She’s not my type.”

Mom gave me a look. I read it as clear as if she’d said it out loud. I needed to tell him!

“I will!” I said to her.

Matt was confused as he looked from Mom to me. “Will what?”

I flushed. “Nothing. It’s just something Mom reminded me to do.”

Matt was even more confused. “But she didn’t say anything.”

I grinned at him. “Yeah, she did.”

 

The statement everyone knew was, to get to heaven, you have to stop in Atlanta. One stop there and boarded another plane. It was all first class! Then off to Los Angeles. Matt couldn’t wait to show it to me. We started with his new place. He had been rooming with a couple of guys. Now that his show was hit, he made more money and the guest spots and commercials! He was hot! He drove me from the airport in his new car. I was impressed. A Porsche. He took me to Santa Monica. His place was on the BEACH!! Well, not really, there was a cliff below. But his building was the last building on Ocean before you went downhill and hit the sand and then the beach. The building was new and the apartments all had balconies looking over at the view. While he wasn’t the top floor, he was high enough to get a wonderful breeze. Living area, dining area, two bedrooms, two baths. A large patio.

“Matt, how can you afford something like this?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I do.”

I looked around. “There’s only one bedroom. The other is a gym.”

He looked puzzled. “We’ve shared a bed before. I have a king sized bed.”

I almost told him how I felt then but decided against doing it due to what was going to happen this week. If he rejected me, it would ruin things for both him and me. So I looked back at the apartment. Condo, really. The carpet was white. The furniture was in blues. The sofa was white with a blue pattern through it and the chairs were blue. Even the lamps were blue and white and it was very elegant. It looked as if it was featured in a magazine. Nothing said someone lived there.

“Where are you?” I asked.

He looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“It’s very beautiful, but nothing here says Matt.” I explained. “Other than the pictures of boats on the wall does it say masculine and there are no personal photos or unique items to say it’s your home.”

Matt looked about. He shrugged. “It came this way. I do have a photo. Two, but those are in the bedroom.”

The photos were of the family of Sams and Richards. Grandpa Theodore, Grandma Margaret, Mom Betty, Uncle Earl, Aunt Pat with Tammy and Dana, Matt and me. It had been taken two Christmases ago. The other was a school photo of me. Mom was right! He did love me. But again, fear and not wanting to upset him, I let it drop. For now. I was nervous about telling him. What if that ruined our friendship? Could I live with that!? Then again, could I live just pining for him? Could he? I told myself to deal with it later. My personal Scarlet O’Hara moment. I’ll think about it tomorrow.

This life he was leading was new for him. He himself said the only great thing he ever had was that Trans Am. This condo and the Porsche were things that for now, met a need. So, I let that go, too.

As the West Coast was three hours behind Charleston time, this day was finally ending, but much later than I was used to. Matt took me to this great restaurant that served real Mexicana. Matt seemed to inhale his dinner and I did a fair job with mine. Nearly cleaned the plate! Matt almost seemed too awake. But he came to bed after midnight and was gone.

He had this great kitchen, but we didn’t eat there. By midmorning I found us having brunch on Rodeo Drive. That’s when she showed up. Bianca. Let’s just say, she was very, very pretty. Latina. Her black hair done in cascading waves down her shoulder.

Matt and I stood when she approached. “Bianca, this is…” he looked at me. “My ex-nephew, Eric Richards.”

She glanced at me. “Hello.” She said as a courtesy. No interest in her tone or eyes. “Oh, yes, your ex-wife’s nephew.” She sat down. “We need to coordinate our weekend, Matt.”

Matt and I sat as well. I was a little offended. The message she conveyed was that I wasn’t important to her. Message received. Matt didn’t like that message either.

“Coordinate?” Matt questioned. “What do you mean?”

“We have the party at the Spellings Friday night, we should appear together. It will be after nine, so we should be in evening wear. Saturday is the awards, what time is the limo picking us up?”

Matt frowned. “I introduce you to a family member and the first topic of conversation is about the weekend?”

Bianca didn’t understand. “It’s an important weekend. A lot depends on what the public sees. We need to be prepared.”

“So prepare,” Matt growled in a low voice but was really pissed off. “I’m just winging it.”

“You and I are in premium positions, Matt. We star in two of the top ten shows in Prime Time. Our image is important.” Bianca stated. “I’ve been doing this for ten years! I fought my way to the top and I plan to stay there. So, can we get together on this?” She was a little annoyed.

She was in her early twenties. Ten years? Did she start in grade school?

“And since I just started, I should listen?” Matt asked nodding. “I don’t think so.” Now he was clearly angry. He sat back, his eyebrows together. “Let’s give them what they want. A spectacle. We break up.”

Bianca looked stunned. “Breakup? Just before the Emmies!? Why?”

“You’re a good actor, Bianca, but even pretending to be in love would be hard for me to do now,” Matt said. “I don’t love you, and you clearly don’t love me. The drama will play a big part for us. I’m using it.”

She looked annoyed. “Fine.” She slid a ring off her finger and handed it to him. “We’ve broken up.” She said and rose. No tears or anger. She just walked off.

I looked at Matt. “Really?”

Matt grinned at me and shrugged. “Welcome to Hollywood.” He seemed better than alright. Relieved. The rest of the afternoon was spent shopping. I hate shopping. It was a necessary evil. You need something, you went out and got it. That was shopping for me. I had no idea what I got, but an outfit for Friday and a tux for Saturday. I didn’t want to see the price tags. Now Matt had a couple of days shooting before that and he took me to the studio. That was really awesome. I met Matt’s costars and the director. It was great to be on the studio lots! I saw a lot of men and women from many shows, especially at the studio canteen. But I frowned at their eating habits. I saw donuts in the morning, hamburgers at lunch and dinner. Fast foods. It was appalling. How did these people function without the right fuel?

Matt became my focus. I was noticing a pattern that was concerning me. Late nights, then falling into bed and nearly comatose. There were times he was dragging with no energy, then perked up. It became clear he was doing something. I hoped I was wrong, but I suspected he was taking something. I kept my mouth shut for the moment again.

Then Friday we had appointments at Robere’s. He was the hairdresser for the stars. Everyone was getting their hair done. My father told me something years ago that paid off. It was crude, but he told me, whenever I met someone important. Imagine them doing to most undignified thing a human does. His example was taking a dump. I told you it was crude. But when you meet someone and can see them doing something so basic, so human, they become just a human. Robere was very busy and he was putting people together. Matt and I were in this cubicle getting cuts and crap put in our hair. And someone else came in. The lady I recognized instantly. Everyone has a favorite Angel from Charlie’s Angels. Sabrina Duncan, or the woman that played her, Kate Jackson was seated in a chair.

“Hi, Matt.” She said to Matt.

“Kate!” Matt grinned. “Getting ready for Aaron’s party?”

“Of course.” She replied getting comfortable. “You’ll be there, no doubt. Your show is getting the award this year, you know?”

Matt shrugged. “Maybe. I’ll be there.” He glanced over. “Kate, this is my ex-nephew, Eric Richards. Eric, Kate Jackson.”

“Hi!” Kate greeted. “Ex-nephew?” She asked.

“He had a brief marriage to my Aunt,” I explained. “They divorced, but he’s still family.”

She smiled. “That’s nice!” And she meant it.

She was great! We talked about a lot of topics. I loved her in Dark Shadows and I said that.

“Thank you.” She nodded. “That was over ten years ago. I was much younger then.”

“You were great! I loved that and The Rookies.” I told her. Then she was busy. But told us we’d see her later. Which we did!

Matt’s show, Undercover Mob won the Emmy. And so did he, as the Best Actor. It was a great day! He won, he was new to the craft and the show was new. Still, he won! It was early Sunday when it happened. We’d only been home a few hours, but Matt wouldn’t wake up. I had a plane to catch! I panicked. The closest I could get to getting him up was a groggy mumble. I had to call an ambulance. That’s when I looked in his medicine cabinet. The plane was going to have to go without me. He had pills in here I had no idea what for. Uppers, downers, mood elevators….I was so scared. After they got him pumped with…whatever to counter what he’d taken and he was in recovery. I was furious! But I calmed myself before I said a thing.

“What are you doing?” I asked him quietly.

“I just took too many. And the alcohol made it worse.” Matt said. “It’s no big deal.”

“To me, it’s a very big deal,” I replied. “You’ve got pills for everything. Some to bring you up and some to help you sleep…I don’t know what some of those pills are for. You’re going to kill yourself!”

“You’ve seen the schedule I’m on.” Matt reasoned. “Up late one day and early the next. I needed something to get through it. I made a mistake. That’s all.”

“You will die!” I said angrily. “You just won what hasn’t been done in years! You are on top of an industry that is known for destroying lives, Matt!” I felt a tear coming down. “I love you, Matt! Damn it!” I turned away.

“I love you, too,” Matt said.

I shook my head. “No.” I turned back and looked at him. “I am in love with you. I have been since Aunt Mary brought you to the house over two years ago! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.”

His eyes grew.

“Who else calls once a month? You write almost weekly! I know your dreams and hopes. Not the how are you shit, but you tell me how you think, what you think and you tell me everything and that’s who I fell in love with! I know you! I love you!”

He sat up slowly. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what? Love me?” I felt my heart breaking.

“I just can’t!” Matt shouted. “A gay actor here? Now!?”

“Well, I can’t either,” I muttered. “Or rather, I won’t! I don’t want you to give up acting, but it is going to destroy you, I will not sit by and watch! You are on top of the game now. But you need to understand, if I’m going to be in your life, those drugs are gone!”

“How do we keep it secret? Besides, you haven’t even graduated high school!”

“I know that! But I’m finished at the end of this year!”

“What about your Mom? Your grandparents!?”

“Mom was the one that pointed it out to ME!” I argued. “She doesn’t care about the whole gay thing! She’s known I was in love with you for a year or so. I found out my Great Uncle Bob is gay and has been living with his partner for almost forty years. My grandparents will be fine.” I walked away and looked out the window. “My mother and father were our ages. She was a little younger than I am now when they met. In fact, she was pregnant with me! By a man that she wasn’t married to!” I turned angrily. “I was at their wedding! You need to make up your mind!” I walked to the other side of the room and picked up a suitcase. “I've got a plane to catch. I booked a second flight.” I walked over. “I wanted this to be more special, but…” I said leaning in our lips touched lightly. “I do love you. Decide, Matt. The drugs, or me.” And I walked out. I was afraid I had lost him.

I flew home and was picked up by Mom. She knew there was a problem, but didn’t know what. We rode home quietly and after I was in the house she stopped me.

“What happened?” She asked. “You looked happy when I saw you on television. You and Matt seemed great together. What happened? Did you tell him?”

I nodded. “I did.”

“It didn’t go well?”

I threw my hands up. “I don’t know!” I shouted exasperated. “He’s a phenomenal actor. He won an award, for god’s sake! He’s wanted to spots worldwide! He lives in a condo that has none of his personality. He drives a car he doesn’t need.” I shrugged. “I said, okay, he’s doing it for some other reason. He agrees to marry because the Network advised him to. But the drugs…”

“Drugs!?” Mom repeated alarmed. “He was doing drugs!?”

I nodded. “Nothing like coke or acid, but prescription to bring him up and down. He’s always working! I told him I was in love with him. I told him that you were the one that pointed that out to me about him. He says he can’t.”

Mom nodded. “Well, it would be hard. His life is in the public eye.”

“I know.” I nodded. “But I told him to decide. The life he has now or me.”

Mom walked up and hugged me. “It will be fine. I know it. He’ll be back. He may deny it, but he is in love with you.”

 

I was depressed going back to school, but I went and everyone wanted details. What I’d seen, who I’d met which I answered. I didn’t hear from Matt for a month. No letters, no calls. And life took another turn when I came downstairs one Saturday morning to find Mr. Hiott there in boxers! You don’t see your principal in boxers.

“Mr. Hiott!” I said awkwardly.

He nodded sipping coffee he had just made. “Eric.”

You know I’m gay, so I noticed he was a well-built man. The middle was getting a little pudgy, but not bad at all. “I guess things are going well between you and Mom.”

He grinned but didn’t look at me. “Very well.”

“Well, understand. Seeing my principal in his boxers was not something I was prepared for.” I said honestly.

He chuckled. “I don’t suppose it was.” He offered me a cup for the coffee. “But even principals are human. We have all the equipment any human should have.”

I took the cup. “Thanks.” I poured some coffee. “It’s just…this will paint a different picture when I see you at school.”

His eyes twinkled. “You’ll be the first student to know I am human.” He got another cup and poured it, my guess was for Mom. “I’m going to ask your Mom to marry me.”

I didn’t quite choke on the coffee. “Really?”

He nodded. “I love her. She’s the best thing that’s happened to me.”

I nodded with the smile growing on my face. “I would agree. But know this, hurt her and I hurt you.” I walked back toward the stairs.

“Understood.” He said.

 

It was the weekend of my eighteenth birthday. We planned a dinner out and were getting ready. That’s when the doorbell rang. Mr. Hiott answered the door.

“Mr. Stryker.” Mr. Hiott greeted. “Good to see you. Are you here to see Eric?”

My heart was now racing.

“Yes. May I come in?” Matt asked quietly.

“Not my house…yet.” Mr. Hiott answered, but opened the door wider. “But sure.”

Matt walked in and saw me. He looked a bit happier than he had. “Hi, Eric.” He grinned.

“Matt.” I was holding on, barely.

“I’m sorry.” Was all I needed to hear. He walked over and hugged me, hard. “You mean so much to me. I’ve been miserable without you. Please take me back.”

I frowned. “But I never had you.”

“Would you? Would you have me now?”

Now I was crying. Guys don’t cry. I was taught we guys should, but I didn’t cry. I returned the hug. “I missed you.”

Then I heard him crying! “I’ve been a fool. Forgive me.”

Mom came down and saw what was happening. She didn’t say anything but smiled. “Floyd. I think it’s just the two of us tonight.”

Floyd was totally confused but nodded. “Okay. We’ll do the birthday dinner thing another time.” He said as he opened the door again. “Do we leave?”

“That would be best.” Mom said. “I’ll explain as we go.” And they walked out.

“I love you so much,” Matt said his voice breaking. “I didn’t realize how much until you were gone. I love you. I am in love with you, but I was so scared.”

“Scared? Of what?” I asked.

“Scared of losing you. Not because I didn’t think you loved me…I was afraid your mother and grandparents would take you from me and hate me. I couldn’t stand that. Then you tell me your Mom was the one to tell you and your grandmother’s brother is gay. Then I was worried that others will find out and end my career before it really starts…”

I grabbed his head on both sides. Brought it to me and kissed him. This time I took more time. As gentle as a butterfly lands on a flower. Gentle, but increased pressure. I may be only seventeen, or rather eighteen, but I knew what I wanted, that was Matt. His response to me was immediate. He kissed me back. I know he’s had more experience than I had, and his kiss became hungry. His breathing increased as his tongue darted in my mouth which I let in gladly. That’s when I discovered swooning. I swooned! You become so light headed you don’t care if it ever stops. Was I in trouble. He was too. “I love you, Matt.”

He chuckled. “I know. I never want to be without you, Eric Richards.”

I shook my head. “Never again.” I swore. Taking his hand I led him toward the stairs.

“Wait!” Matt said shakily. “You have supplies?”

I looked at him. “I have lube.”

Matt looked anxious. “You’ve had sex before.” It was a statement. But one of hope.

I gave a shrugging nod. “I’ve touched a few dicks, I’ve sucked two, had mine sucked three times…”

“Has anyone ever fucked you? Or have you ever fucked anybody else?” He blurted.

“No,” I admitted. “I’m eighteen, don’t you think it’s about time?” I asked logically. “You can be my first.”

He now looked horrified. “How do you know what you want!? I mean, are you a top or a bottom?”

I shrugged. “Both, I think.”

“You think!?” Matt balked.

I looked him in the eyes. “Matt. I love you. I’ve dreamt of you lying on me and me lying on you. Dad said what you dream of is what you make happen. Someone has to be my first, why shouldn’t it be you?”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Matt said quietly.

I grinned. “It’s gonna hurt at first. Or so I’m told.” I ran a finger down his face. “My family has never been shy about sex. I’ve walked in on Mom and Dad a few times when I was little. They paused but didn’t stop. They told me it was love and for me to wait for them. I’ve even walked in on Earl and Pat. I was older, but again, it was just paused. The joke is that’s when they conceived Tammy, he blames me for him not firing a y and shot an x instead.” I looked at him with a smile. “I told you. We aren’t the Cleavers.”

Matt chuckled. “No. No you’re not.” He nodded. “Okay, but I’ll be careful.” He assured.

“I would hope so.” I grinned. “I want to please you, too.”

He kissed me. “I am already.”