Breaking Through The Blackout - 8. Chapter 8

8

They were quiet on the way back to Diane's, not in an awkward way. It was more of a mellow 'let's not break this' sort of silence. There was no need to speak, no need to say what they both already knew: what they had shared on the cliff had rearranged something in each of them. The weight that had hung over them had disappeared, leaving an unassuming silence. Nothing was required of them, save to share the moment.

The concept was a new one for Andrew. He had always disliked silence in the presence of others. He was prone to filling such silences, motivated by the notion that silence was something to be used as a weapon. It was a way for him to be punished without knowing what he had done. Silence was the scourge that bit into supple flesh.

Yet this silence was comfortable, it didn’t leave him on the edge of his seat to ponder his transgression. It was soft and he was glad to sit in it. He drummed his fingers on his knee, and let his mind wander.

How would he spend his time this summer? Maybe he could pick up the writing that he had unexplainably abandoned when he had started dating David. He was fully intending to stroll memory lane at the thought of David.

How 'bout we not.

It felt like all he had now was time, something he had always felt he was short on. Time to share moments, to walk through his days without the ever aggressive feeling that he was reaching a deadline. Time to walk the beach without the feelings of guilt that came with letting yourself be free. He could do anything he wanted and not have to worry about appointments, a meeting, all the things that the world allows to steal its time. He didn’t have to nurse a relationship, didn’t have to consider what to cook David for dinner. He wasn’t even forced to consider anything regarding David. He could put David in a little jewelry box and sit it on a shelf in the deepest darkest closet.

He could handle time. He could make or waste it as he saw fit.

That’s called freedom.

Kevin was the first to break their silence.

"Do you have cottonmouth as bad as I do?" his voice was hoarse.

Andrews tongue was sticky, and his throat was dry. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't paid much attention to it.

"Yeah, it's pretty dry in there." he laughed.

We will stop for some drinks." Kevin said. "Do you think we will see each other again after this?" There was something in his voice, a slight hopefulness tactfully slipped in between the words.

"Why wouldn’t we?" Andrew asked, "You are the only person I know here."

The other guy shrugged, "You never really know with people, do you? One word or action and you are instantly left by the road."

Andrew knew all too well what Kevin was describing.

"I'm not that type. You haven't been anything but kind. I couldn’t just drop someone unless they'd intentionally hurt or offended me. I'm all too familiar with slipping up and being terse, so if there's an apology, I can usually get past things." he explained.

"So we can then? See each other again?" he was smiling now. He must have known the answer yet still wanted to hear it."

"I would like us to, yes." Andrew said, trying to keep from smiling.

"Cool," Kevin finished resolutely, "I would like that too."

When they pulled into a small roadside gas station, Kevin kept the truck running.

"Preference of drink?" he asked. "Or should just get you a bottle of wine?"

Andrew laughed. "No, you ass hat. You can get me a soda! I don’t care as long as it's not Pepsi or anything diet." He hated the aftertaste of diet soda.

Kevin mock saluted. "Aye Aye captain."

Andrew watched him through the large plate glass windows of the store. He tipped his head at the cashier before heading to the bank of beverage coolers. He scanned several, reaching out only to drop his hand indecisively.

It's not that hard pal.

Finally, he chose and turned to the counter. He cast a glance out the window, catching Andrew's gaze. He shot him a grin emphasized by a sly wink.

Andrew smiled.

This guy is such a goof, he thought.

he spoke with the cashier, a blonde looking to be in her mid twenties. She laughed at something he said.

He's so smooth. Easy.

When he got back to the truck, he held two bottles. One Dr. Pepper and one 7-Up.

"You get first pick."

Andrew chose the Dr. Pepper. "Thanks."

He had barely got the cap off and began to drink before Kevin had chugged half of his soda. He let out a thunderous belch.

Andrew laughed, mouthful of soda and instantly regretted it. The carbonated liquid traveled back up his throat and into his nostrils burning its way out of his nose to trickle down his upper lip. He sputtered, covering his mouth and nose. The burn caused his eyes to water.

Kevin sprang into action, punching the button that opened the glove box in a frantic search for napkins. He found them and held them to Andrew.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to drown you in soda." he chuckled.

When he'd cleared his sinuses, Andrew replied. "It's all good. That was a really loud burp!"

To emphasize, he let out one of his own, although much weaker than Kevin's.

"Nice!" An attempt to preserve Andrew's dignity. "From now on I'll make sure to behave when you're drinking."

Andrew appreciated the statement, realizing that it secured future interaction. A promise, however small and seemingly insignificant.

I can deal with that.

*******

When they arrived back at Diane's, Kevin parked next to the curb, cutting the engine. The streetlights didn’t touch this part of the street. The only light came from the security light mounted to the side of the house. Daphne wasn't in the driveway. Diane must still be at the college.

Andrew's eyes hadn't quite adjusted to the total darkness from which Kevin's voice came. "Well, here we are."

Taking it as "Ok, get out now' Andrew grabbed the door handle, opening the door, bathing them in the cab light.

"Wait. Wait." Kevin said before he could open the door any further. Andrew looked at him and felt the guys hand on his elbow. "I really do want to see you again. And I had a lot of fun with you today."

"We will. And I had fun too." Andrew offered. "See ya around?" Hand still on the door.

"Definitely." A grin. "But don't move.

"Why would-" thinking he had meant relocating to a new residence, but Kevin had jumped out and come around to open the door for him.

Just another warm finger on that icy heart of yours.

"What a gentleman." he exclaimed as he grabbed the plastic bag holding his To-Go containers and stepped out of the truck.

Kevin flourished his hand as he leaned into a comical bow. "I try Sir. Andrew."

Andrew found it endearing, 'Sir. Andrew'

They laughed together as Kevin closed the door, extinguishing the light that had spilled onto the snow.

"May I walk you to the door?"

Is he going to want an invitation in?, Andrew thought.

Are you going to extend one?

"Sure." he decided, "But no sleepovers. I'm not that kind of guy. Just to be clear."

Kevin sounded stung when he replied.

"I was never under the impression that were 'that sort of guy'. Just to be clear."

Andrew reached for Kevin's hand, and held it.

"I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to bite. It’s a habit really. I'm not used to gentleman who are gentleman for the sake of kindness."

"It's alright. I guess gentleman truly are rare." he said lightly. "Not every kind person wants to jump right into bed, at least not in my case."

"Yeah, they are. Rare." Andrew stammered feeling scolded.

"Well I'm not like that. You don’t need to believe me. I will just have to show you what a real gentleman truly is. Now let's go before we freeze." He rested his hand on Andrews back, guiding him up the drive.

Kiss him before he leaves.

No, he thought. I just got done saying I wasn’t that sort of guy.

You've already kissed him, and besides, you just bit him. Again.

A the door he took his key out. After unlocking it, he set the food bag on the floor inside and flicked on the light.

He turned to Kevin, who stood with his hands in his pockets, the wind ruffling his light brown hair.

Do. It.

"I did have fun today." Andrew said as he stepped close to him and looked him in the face. "And I do want to see you again."

Kevin grinned. "Good. And that can and will be arranged."

Before he could say goodnight, Andrew pushed his hands between Kevin's arms and his sides and hugged him. He rested his head the guys broad shoulder. "Thank you for everything" he said softly.

Kevin pulled his hands out of his pockets and hugged him back. It was a tight embrace that warmed Andrew to the core. Kevin was strong, and he liked that.

"Goodnight Kevin" As he pulled away, he turned his head and brushed his lips against Kevin's stubbly jaw. The whiskers tickled him and sent a small shiver through his body, reminding him of how he had wondered how it would feel to kiss that jaw.

Kevin smiled. "Goodnight Andrew." There was that glint in his eye again.

He turned and strode down the driveway.

*******

Once he'd closed the door, he leaned against it and slid to the floor. He Tilted his head back and rested his hands over his face.

"What are you doing?" he asked aloud, as if to an invisible acquaintance.

Don't over think it. It was just a kiss.

Innocent kissing leads to not so innocent bedding, he thought. An adage from a movie he had seen.

He decided that he wouldn’t over think it, and that it was innocent, he leapt to his feet and grabbed the bag from the floor. He kicked off his boots and removed his coat, placing it on the hook behind the door. He realized he was still wearing Kevin's scarf.

He's long gone by now.

He would just call Kevin.

You never got it.

And he hadn't. He smacked his palm to his head, shook it several times and climbed the stairs. He would figure it out later.

Upstairs he turned on several lamps, bathing the apartment in soft light. He stowed the bag in the refrigerator before going to the bathroom to start the shower. As he waited for the water to warm up, he walked into the living room to turn on the radio. He wouldn’t listen to he and David's CD, instead he would settle for a local station.

It was while tuning the radio in that he saw his pants from the night before, casually strewn aside. A small corner of white stuck from the back pocket.

The napkin.

Curious, he pulled it out, being careful not to tear it.

He unfolded it and read the untidy writing. It was written in red ink.

And it froze the blood in his veins…