The smile that changed a life - 2. Chapter 2

The moment I turned the corner on my bicycle, I noticed Nathan with a huge grin on his face. "You missed the moment of our lives!" he shouted.

"I didn't expect anything else to happen while I was doing homework," I said once I’d finally caught up to his back wheel.

He laughed. "I mean it, bro. We were playing football when Billy showed up with his little brother. They wanted to join, which was cool of course."

I was having trouble keeping up with Nathan. He always practically raced his bicycle. For about a year now - after we realised we pretty much travel the same way to school - we’d made biking together our thing. It was our thing now, just talking about everyday stuff. It was a really relaxing thing to do and it also kept my raging crush for the boy quite modest. Because, damn he was a cute one. Straight, of course, just like everyone I knew.

"So, we were playing. Just fucking around mostly, and then his little brother tried to be funny…" Nathan snickered almost unintelligibly. "and we had been, you know, making remarks about hot chicks all the time. Billy tried to do the same, of course."

"Duhh," I snorted. Billy was the kind of guy that tried to be part of the group, but never really fitted. He's a year or two younger than us, but he tags along whenever he can. We don't really mind, he feels like a little bro to have around and we like making fun of him every once in a while. In a friendly manner, of course. But he also was the kind of guy that would try to say something cool when we were joking around about girls and sex. And yes, I would also be talking about chicks and pussy. Don't want them to suspect anything now, do I? When Billy did it, however, it always sounded dorky.

"His brother, what's his name, Mason?" Nathan continued.

I nodded.

"He probably wanted to fit in as well. He randomly blurted out: Billy would love to fuck a girl!" Nathan almost fell off his bike laughing.

Even though I had the feeling this wasn't the amazing part yet, his laughter was really contagious and soon I was grinning as well. "How old is he even?"

"Dunno. Twelve or so? Anyway, so all of a sudden he tugged Billy's jeans down. Right in the middle of the football field." At this point the guy stopped his bike to turn all of his attention to controlling his amusement. "It was soooo embarrassing, Jakey!" he roared. "Billy turned red, he tried pulling his trousers back up, but you know how clumsy he can be, so he tumbled over. We were laughing, of course we were, and Mason or whatever his name was thought he was so fucking funny, he started giggling and yelling "Billy wants to fuck a girl with his willy"."

I chuckled. "Poor Billy."

We arrived at school, so we locked up our bikes and headed inside. "Of course, poor Billy. But still, this is a once in a lifetime kinda happening. You really missed out."

I'm sure I did. I would've loved to see Billy naked. And no, the boy wasn't what I'd call attractive. If anything, he looked a little bit nerdy. He was a redhead, with big glasses and an old school hair parting. But he was a boy, and I'm a closeted gay teenager. I wasn't going to pass on the possibility of seeing a naked guy!

"Billy must have been so ashamed. I wouldn't even turn up at school, if I were him."

Nathan laughed, but he suddenly turned somewhat serious. "He had nothing to be ashamed of, dude."

"What'ya mean?" I mumbled, even though I obviously knew what he meant. I realised only the thought of him being well-endowed caused me to turn slightly pink. I hoped Nathan wouldn't notice.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it, Jakey, but damn. And he's much younger than we are!"

I swallowed. "Never judge a book by its cover, I guess."

My friend patted me on the shoulder. "Spoken like a wise man, as always. Let's see if you can be as wise during math, I need your help! Damn those integrals." He laughed.

We had math together and after that we split ways. I had English Language and Literature while he had Physics. Afterwards, I met up with Sahra, another friend of ours, during chemistry, which is always fun. After that, we had a break. The five of us gathered in front of the big red cellar door. It was our unofficial clubhouse—a heavy, rusted slab of iron in the floor that smelled like damp earth and secrets.

Bobby was already sprawled out across the metal, using his backpack as a pillow like he owned the hallway. Jenny sat cross-legged at his head, her fingers reflexively combing through his hair while she argued with Sahra about a movie they’d seen over the weekend.

"I’m telling you, it’s a portal," Bobby interrupted them when he noticed me approaching the group, his voice echoing slightly against the metal. He kicked the handle with his heel. "One day, the lock is going to snap, and we’re all falling straight into a parallel universe where the cafeteria serves actual food."

Ever since we occupied this little corner of our school, Bobby and I would joke about what it hid behind the big lock. Bobby had a new theory each day.

"Or a universe where you know not to interrupt me and Jenny," Sahra shot back.

The conversation drifted from the door to Billy and finally the upcoming physics test. I didn't pay much attention to it, wondering if Brian went to a highschool in this region, and if so, which one. I surely never saw him around here. Before I knew it, break was over and the last lectures of the day were starting.

Only when biology was over, our last class, which fortunately was one all five of us followed, I realised that my day wasn't over yet. I still had to report to Captain Strict. Jenny came to me when we were leaving the classroom with Bobby following her closely. They were a couple for only a few months now, so everything still felt a bit fragile, even though they quickly became inseparable. Nathan and I had been pushing them to get together for over a year now, but they never admitted they were basically made for each other. Took them way too long to finally confess their feelings for each other.

"It sucks that you can't join us today," she complained.

I let out a sigh that in hindsight must have been building up deep inside of me this whole time. "I know!"

"When will you be released from custody?" All my friends were so used to the metaphors I used when talking about my family they started using them as well.

I grumbled. "Probably when my dad stops trying to make my youth as boring as his was."

"Well, see you never, Jakey-boy," Bobby cackled from behind me. Jenny looked at him with a stern face, which probably shut him down for the next five minutes or so.

"I fear you're right. Anyhow, have fun today. What are you gonna do, by the way?"

Jenny made a wry face, as if she tried to warn me it might hurt to know what fun my friends were going to have. "We're going to the lake, Sahra and I prepared a little picnic and the boys wanted to go out for a swim. Nathan invited Aiden, so Ella is coming too."

She was right, it did sting a little. "Well, have fun!" I tried to sound as positive as I could, but I knew Jenny saw right through that. She always had a way of reading me.

"We'll hang out more this weekend," Bobby said. "You're not in… custody, then, right?"

I shook my head as we strolled towards our lockers. I saw Billy at the end of the hall and I couldn't help but envision what he would look like pantless. A sly grin appeared on my face only thinking about his shame. I'm not a bad person, I swear, but sometimes we can't help but feeling a little better when hearing about someone else's misfortune, right? Germans even have a word for that; schadenfreude.

Noticing my grin, Bobby asked: "you heard the story about Billy?"

I nodded slowly as I tried to suppress my fantasy running free.

"It was quite… mesmerising. Billy-the-willy."

"I can imagine," I chuckled.

"Boys! Stop it. Poor, oh, poor Billy."

Billy leaned forward to grab something from the bag in front of him and in doing so he locked eyes with us. He immediately looked away. Jenny was right, it was actually quite sad what happened to him. He looked hurt.

"We have to go, Bobby, the others are waiting for us."

"Yeah, I know. Let me grab my jacket real quick." He turned to me. "Have fun at the family gathering, baby brother."

I smirked. I didn't particularly like that nickname. Bobby and I have known each other since we were only five years old. He used to be my neighbour, before his family decided to move to a fancier neighbourhood. He was a few months older than I was, and his older brother used to call him baby brother. The very creative boy decided that he could call me that considering our huge age difference. It stuck with him ever since.

"See you this weekend, Jakey," Jenny said and they walked away.

I also grabbed my stuff for the weekend. As I walked towards the exit of the school, I walked past the tortured boy. Even though he always tried to hang out with us, we never considered him a part of the group. I do think of him as a friend, be it a distant and maybe somewhat weird one, but he can never be a part of our group. We've been through too much together to truly allow outsiders.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," he almost whispered. "You heard about yesterday too, didn't you?"

"Yeah." I tried to look apologetic, even though I couldn't have done anything to defend him from the embarrassment.

"Nice!"

"I'm sorry."

He smirked. "It's okay. I guess. Argh, I hate my brother sometimes. Such an ass."

I grinned. "Family, am I right?"

"Yep. But Mason thought he was being funny, so I guess I can't really blame him."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Don't sweat it, actually. The others laughed, I bet, but it doesn't make them think any less of you."

"Yeah, right."

"I mean it! I even heard someone say that you had nothing to be ashamed of."

I caught a quick frown, perhaps of disbelief. "What do you… Oh."

"Yeaahh… Well. I wasn't there, so I can't confirm it of course." I let out an awkward laugh. My mind was running full speed again; my stupid horny brain imagining him replying things like "oh, want to confirm it still?" or "I'm sure you can make it even bigger!". Ugh, it's really pathetic. I'm getting aroused by the thought of seeing naked someone I don't even find cute.

Apparently Billy had been talking all this time. "Anyway, thank you Jake. Do you think I can still hang out with you guys?"

"Of course! Well, I'm grounded, but I'm sure the others don't mind. And once I'm free again I would love to have you around!"

"Epic!" he beamed. "Well… uhh.. I mean… the hanging out part. Being grounded sucks."

I glanced at my watch. "About that, I have to go now. See ya, Billy."

"Ciao!"

I was greeted by some officers when I arrived at the station. As expected my dad was waiting for me in his office. "Late. Again."

"Distracted. Again," was my reply.

"Of course you were!" He sighed. "Again."

I grinned. "O, nice. We're putting again after each sentence." I held my breath for a second. "Again."

"Just do your homework, please."

"Again."

"Whatever."

I took my books out of my bag and started to page through one. I was having a hard time concentrating on it, as I found my mind wandering to Brian Lenovich.

"What are you looking at the window for?" dad suddenly asked.

"Nothing," I grumbled. "Actually, I was trying to figure out the refractive index." I held up my physics book.

"One fiftytwo," he replied without looking up from the report he was reading.

"Huh?" I asked in surprise.

"The refraction index of glass." He smiled at me. "I paid attention at school. Now where was I," he mumbled. "Outsmarting my son, tick. Making sure he actually has a future, tick." He mimicked writing on his police report. "Hey Jake, do you have an eraser for me, I accidentally put a tick where it didn't belong."

"Funny."

"I know. Now get back to work."

I sighed. For over thirty minutes I kept staring at my physics book. Every once in a while I wrote something down in my notebook, but it was always just a sentence from the book I copied mindlessly as I knew my dad would be watching regularly to see if I made any progress. I sighed again, causing my dad to look up. I hoped he would have to leave soon.

"Boring things are important, too."

One way to get me to stop breathing: telling me an aphorism every time I sigh. "I'm sure you want coffee," I said.

"I'm sure you're actively looking for distraction."

I rolled my eyes. "We all have days when we're having a hard time concentrating. Want coffee or not?"

"Sure."

I let my book fall on the table loudly and I escaped the chamber of misery. On my way to the break room I quickly glanced through the window in the door to the holding cells, but I didn't see anyone. Of course it could mean Brian was behind the corner, but I wasn't allowed to go in. And honestly, I didn't expect him to be brought in two days in a row, so I let it slide and continued my walk towards the coffee machine.

As I was waiting for the coffee to be done, I heard something behind me. "I heard the Lenovich kid forgot his belongings. Did he come to collect them today?"

"Martin, you should stop caring about that. About him. It's in the past, okay?"

I carefully looked over my shoulder. Two officers, I didn't know any of them.

"I know, I know. Just asking. What're you gonna do with his stuff."

The other officer laughed. "Probably waiting for his next arrest to give it back. I think it's unlikely he'd voluntarily enter this building."

"As if he hasn't been doing that all this time."

I took the mugs and just before I wanted to head to the captain's office again, I hesitantly turned around. My heart was racing as I approached the officers. I knew this was a risk, but even if it backfired, I would accomplish making dad angry, so I guess it's worth it.

"I could bring his stuff?" I asked.

They both looked at me. "Cap's kid, innit?" asked one of them, more to his colleague Martin than to me. I nodded as a reply. "What stuff?" the officer asked.

"Brian's stuff. I know him."

Officer Martin frowned. "You know Brian?"

"Brian Lenovich. Friend of a friend of mine, meet him regularly." I added a smile which I hoped would come across as genuine. "I'm going to see him this weekend, not sure what stuff he left here, but if it's nothing too valuable, I could bring it to him?"

"We're not allowed to give it away, kiddo, sorry," the officer said.

"What stuff was it even," officer Martin asked.

The other one shrugged. "Nothing important. What money, a membership card for the arcade and a letter. But I'm not sure whether the letter is personal, so I'm not giving it away." He looked at me again. "Tell him he can come get his stuff whenever he wants, I'll leave it at the front desk. We won't arrest him if he walks in."

I grinned. "I sure hope you won't."

"How do you even know the kid? He's bad company," the officer said, which caused Martin to angrily glance over at him.

"He's not my friend, but a friend of a friend, as I said. I don't think he's that bad, though, just troubled."

"Captain's son knows the Lenovich kid, who would've thought."

I was about to walk away, happy with my newly gathered information, but I realised something just in time. "Oh, and can you please not tell my dad?" I saw that the nameless officer didn't look convinced, so I added: "I'm afraid my father wouldn't be happy if he knew."

"It's not up to us…" officer Martin started.

"I'll be fine, but I'm worried for Brian. You know my dad."

I saw him swallow very clearly. "Yeah, we'll keep it between us."

With a smile I walked away. "You should stay away from him though, he's unstable," the nameless officer called after me just as I turned the corner. That's exactly what I'm not going to do. When I was sure they couldn't hear me, I let out a sigh. Please tell me they don't become overly loyal all of a sudden and tell dad about this encounter, that would be a situation quite hard to explain.

"You took long enough," dad commented when I was acrobatically trying to close the door behind me without spilling any coffee.

"Distracted. Again."

He snorted. "I sure hope you got distracted before you made coffee."

I grimaced and put the cup of lukewarm coffee right in front of him. "I've been thinking," I said after a few minutes.

"Oh no."

"You were right. I haven't been doing my best at school lately." I let those words sink in before I continued. "I can do better. Forcing me to come here really was a good punishment. Can I please go? I'll try better from now on, I promise."

"Nice try. But no."

Of course. He wants me to beg. "Why not?"

"I don't trust you."

"Dad please. My friends are at the lake now. They'll be there for at most another hour. I'd love to join them."

It looked as if he had to think about that.

"School is important, but isn't socially interacting also important? What good does a good job do for me, if I cannot have a normal conversation with my colleagues?"

And then, as if all the stars in the universe aligned for this moment, he nodded. "You can go now, but I expect you to still come here after school next week."

"Oh thanks dad! I owe you."

He grinned. "You don't owe me. You're still grounded. Or whatever you call this."

I quickly put all my stuff in my school bag. "Until when?"

He smiled, but it didn't feel sincere. "You're up for parole next Friday."

I held in a sigh, nodded and left the office. I greeted officer Logan on my way out. Once outside I finally let my mind run freely. I had to come up with a plan. Of course I wasn't planning on going to my friends. It was already six o'clock, before I would even reach the lake they'd be packing their stuff. Instead, I took my phone out and opened Google maps. I knew there was an arcade close to the precinct, but I probably was one of the worst navigators in the world. And I also had to figure out if there were any more arcades in the area. If there are more than one, I shouldn't even bother trying to find him.

Why do I want to find him, even? What's wrong with me? This is really creepy, isn't it? Sometimes I really hope there is no god, because to be honest, what would he think if he saw me chasing down a guy with a mysterious smile.

There was another arcade than the one I remembered, but it was quite far away, much closer to another precinct. I decided to take the shot and give the closest arcade a chance. Who knows, maybe I would coincidentally walk into the guy. Wouldn't that be fun?

Probably not. What would I even say?

I started walking towards the arcade. It was only a ten minute walk according to my phone. After a minute however, I sat down on a bench and sighed out loud. What am I doing? This isn't healthy. I'm on a crusade for a guy I don't know and I'm sure it isn't only his looks. He was cute, but not close to being in the top ten. Hell, not even the top twenty. Does the fact he isn't godly attractive make my manhunt creepier or less creepy?

I just had to be able to analyse my own behaviour, right? To come up with a reason for my obsession. That couldn't be too hard, could it? I just had to find a goal for my trip now.

Dad! Of course; the reason I was obsessed with Brian was because I knew dad would detest him. He was against everything he stood for. I can get back at him, I thought with a sly smile. With a whole new load of dedication I stood up. Let's find Brian.

I was quite nervous as I approached the arcade. It's one thing to fantasise about what kind of person he is, but it's a whole other level when you actively search for him. What if he were to recognise me? What do I say?

The damp air engulfed me when I opened the doors of the arcade. It was a pretty small room, filled with all kinds of arcade machines. You could hear the beeping sounds of 6-bit games everywhere. It actually looked really cozy here. Nowadays arcades were mostly filled with younger kids, as everyone had a computer at home, and I know if it wasn't for the average age I would offer my friends to go here as well. It was generally looked upon as a nerdy thing to do, going to the arcade, though.

With all these younger kids it couldn't be hard to spot someone my age. I scanned through the room, but I didn't see him.

The woman behind the counter looked at me questioningly. I smiled at her and checked the room once more.

"You looking for someone?"

It startled me. "No, it's okay," I replied and turned around to walk away.

"I can help you find someone? Bored here anyway."

"Uh, well." This could be my chance. Come up with something. Be the detective daddy Strict always wanted you to be. "I found a membership card. Looking for the owner."

She shrugged. "Whose is it?"

"Brian Lenovich. He's around my age, dark hair…"

"I know who he is. He already mentioned he couldn't find the card." She frowned. "But he thought he left it…" Then she swallowed. She didn't finish the sentence. "You can leave the card here, and I will give it to him when I see him."

Does she know him? And she was about to tell me he left it at the precinct, right? Who is this guy? I glanced into the room again, hoping it would give me an idea as to how to get out of this. "I think the arcade is the last place he'd look for the lost card, right? Leaving it here wouldn't make sense." I added a smile to make sure it didn't come across as insulting.

"I knew his mother, actually. I can just hop by after work."

I decided to venture into the lion's den. This wasn't working, so I could better just be honest. "Actually, I didn't really find the card. He left it in the police station."

"Oh," was all she said. "So, you want me to tell you where he lives, don't you?" she asked suspiciously.

"That would be amazing!"

She folded her hands into each other. "Can I at least see the card?"

I felt my cheeks turning slightly pink. "Uh, as I just said, he left the card at the precinct. That's what I wanted to tell him." After a second overthinking my excuse, I added: "but I think I just really want to talk to him."

"Why's that?"

Good question. "I'm not sure."

She smiled. "I'm afraid I can't help you, he isn't home anyway."

"How do you know?"

"I just know. He's with his friends again." She practically puked out the word "friends".

"That's a pity."

"I'm sorry, but I won't tell you where he lives."

With a smirk, I said: "I actually understand that. I wouldn't like someone sharing private details either. Thanks for the help."

"Good luck."

I felt ashamed as I exited the arcade. I just admitted to a random lady that I wanted to talk to a stranger without knowing why. It felt wrong. Dirty, even. She must have realised I was stalking the boy. And she knew his family, so it wouldn't surprise me if she'd tell Brian. I held my head down as I strolled through the street. I knew one thing for sure now, I was going to abandon my quest to find emo boy. See you never, my love.

When I looked up, I just barely saw a redhead duck into an alley. A redhead that seemed all too familiar. I followed him. "Billy?"

He looked scared, his eyes filled with tears.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he sobbed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was at the arcade."

His eyes narrowed. "The arcade?"

"Yeah, long story. But seriously Billy, something is wrong. Tell me, I can help you."

"Just some stupid guys, nothing to be worried about." He stared down at his empty hands.

"What did they do?" I looked right into his eyes, following them whenever he tried to avert his gaze. "Tell me."

His face turned more resolute. "Fucking morons harassed me. They have been doing that."

"What the… For how long?"

"I don't know. They took my money."

I felt my chest heaving and breathing was becoming hard. "Who?"

"I don't know. Three guys around the corner, in the alley that leads from my street to the supermarket." He must have seen my determined look. "But please, Jake, let them be. It's okay. It was only five euro."

I swallowed. "Okay," I said whilst I decided to do the opposite. "But you better avoid the alley."

"Yeah, I know." He wiped away the tears that had built up. His eyes filled with an inner glow. "So, about the arcade, I never saw you there."

"You go to the arcade, too?" I frowned.

"I was just on my way. What were you doing there."

I shrugged. "Looking for someone."

At first the boy flinched, but then he manned up. His shoulders still hung low, though. "Oh, I thought maybe you liked going there, too."

"It looked fun. You know what, Billyboy, how about we go together sometime?"

He beamed. "Really, do you want that?"

"Yeah, of course! As I said, it looked really enjoyable there. And the owner seemed nice."

"Yes, she is nice," he smiled. If one were to enter this alley now, he wouldn't be able to notice Billy's previous sadness anymore, apart from his slightly red teary cheeks. "And thank you, Jake, I appreciate it."

"And if we're gonna go to the arcade together, I can also protect you from those punks."

He laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure you can do that." He examined me head to toe, as if he was looking for any muscle that would keep him safe.

I grinned. "You'd be surprised what I can do! If they even reach out a hand to you, I'll become dangerous."

A giggle escaped from his lips. "What would you do?"

"I would scream for my dad to help!" We both laughed. I put an arm around the boy and pulled him against me. "You shouldn't worry about what people think of you, Billy. You're a cool dude."

"Thanks. So, you wanna join me in the arcade now?"

I shook my head. "I have to go home now. My dad is probably waiting for me. See you!"

"Thanks, Jake. And see you."

I watched Billy enter the arcade with an enormous smile and then I turned around. I walked straight to the alley he told me about. It was a dark alley, so my eyes needed a few seconds to get used. When they did, I looked at the three guys in front of me. One of them was Brian.