Angel Love - 4. Chapter 4

"So, do you like it?" Josh asked.

"It’s beautiful. I’m sure its going to be fun working here." Terry replied and he truly felt it.

"Ah! Now don't assume we have fun here. But yeah, we enjoy in a way. Work can sometimes be refreshing too."

Terry looked around. He could see the relaxed faces of people walking by. A lot of posters and photos were hung on the canvases and it made the whole place cheerful.

"Here, this is a place we use for recreation." It was a room resembling a bright red bus, set up in the middle of an open area in which small cabins were made where employees could sit reading books and magazines. There were packets of chips and chocolates and a soda machine inside.

"Wow! Never seen something like that. That’s cool."

"I know." he checked his watch. "So, ready to meet 'the Boss'?" Josh asked.

"Umm...yeah. I have met him during the interview. But, yeah, I guess. I’m here to work after all." Terry smiled. Josh led the way and Terry followed. 'By the descriptions from Josh, 'the Boss' must be a good man', he thought.

"I’ll leave you here. You come early tomorrow. We’ll see in which batch you are put for training. See you and all the best."

"Thank you, see you around." Terry was left alone. He waited for a few moments before entering the room. He combed his hair with his fingers and checked if his shirt was properly tucked in his trousers. A bit shakily, he knocked.

"May I come in, sir?"

After a brief pause he heard a low voice,” Yes, come in."

I will be seeing him today. This is happening all too fast. The dream yesterday and the reality today. I need to keep calm. He’ll be arriving anytime now. I hope I’ll be able to keep my actions in check. If I don't look at him too much, maybe I can. But what force will stop me from looking at the angelic face of that boy? He’s just so...

"May I come in, sir?"

Okay, he's here already. His voice is as beautiful as he is. I can feel my pulse race and my heart is beating nineteen to twelve. My hands are all sweaty despite the air conditioning in the office. He must be thinking why I'm taking so long to reply. Maybe I should just get over with it. I try to speak but my mouths gone dry. Okay, one more time,

"Yes, come in."

I try not to look up immediately. He’s probably waiting for me to say something. Of course I should say something. I close the file of our new venture capital consultancy which I'm just looking through as an excuse. I slowly look up. My body seems to be pierced with thousands of tiny needles all at once when I first look into that face. The sensations are too strong. But I can't be so stupid. I’m not allowed to lose myself like this. I glance at the clock on the wall.

"You’re late." I shouldn't blame him I know. Showing around the office is something that is done here so that the employees feel at ease. But then, offense is the best defense, isn't it? I have to defend my emotions.

"Umm...yes sir. Sorry for that. Josh was showing me around. He said it wouldn't matter. Today being my first day...I'm really sorry, I didn't know you hadn't approved. I wasn't given any specific time to report to you...I..."

I can see he is struggling for words. He’s so easily intimidated. He’s even more beautiful when he's scared and bashful, if that was a possibility. I realize I'm staring and he's just going on. He talks a little too much, doesn't he? I guess my look is softening. I can't let my guard loose.

"Only because you are new and it was your first day, I'm going to accept the apology. But don't repeat it as long as you work here. Get it?" I hope I sounded reasonably cold and a bit harsh.

"Thank you, Sir for considering. I won't repeat it" he says in a small voice. I think I was a bit too harsh.

"So, did you get the schedule set? Did Sophie explain you your work Terence?" he is looking at me with scared eyes. My position seems to have such an effect on people. Funny he doesn't realize how scared I am of the effect he has on me.

"No. not yet. Josh said my training will start tomorrow. I...I really don't know what I’m supposed to do today, sir.”

I don't generally like people calling me 'sir' but I think its best if he does. I certainly don't want him calling me by my name. It will become too irresistible.

"Hmm...Then I suppose threes nothing we can do today. You can go around and check some more if you want. I think there is no point in making you wait here."

"I...really..." he stammers. Oh god, now he thinks I'm being sarcastic or something.

"No, really Terence. I’ll see you tomorrow. You are free to leave for today. And be on time tomorrow." he seems to be getting my point now and seems much more relaxed. How much more adorable can he get? He seems almost vulnerable and the urge of getting up and hugging him is killing me here.

"Leave Terence. I need to get back to work."

"Uh...yeah." and he leaves.

This was far from what Terry had expected. He thought Daniel was a warm and welcoming man. 'Or maybe I built up too much of expectations. He’s the owner of this freaking company. He can't get all warm on you. He’s okay. I think I have this face which puts people off or something. Richie is acting all weird back home and now this 'gracious' man here hates me.' Wondering about that awkward encounter, he walked aimlessly in the lobby when he saw Josh approaching with a big grin.

"So, got the 'please call me Daniel' speech?

"What speech?"

"Oh, didn't he ask you to treat him just as everyone else and blah. You know he does that to everyone here. The attitude he has is one day going to bring him down, you know? Some people do take advantage of being too good. But that is how good old Daniel is."

"He didn't give me any speech. I get the feeling he does not like me if what you say is true. He was...I don't know...cold to me."

"Mmm...now that’s very much unlike him. Maybe he's stressed out or something. He’ll get around being the same soon. You just watch."

Josh had the ability to put people at ease. Terry relaxed considerably, "Yeah I hope so."

"I have like ten minutes time if you want to get a cup of coffee. You want to go down to the canteen because presumably you aren't doing anything? You can ask me anything you need. Coming?"

Having nothing more important to do, he shrugged and followed Josh. Having reached down, he couldn't help but appreciate how remarkably well the place was designed. It almost looked like a plush starred restaurant but it was more...casual. You could leave your etiquettes behind and just relax a bit. There were proper booths and the place smelled very clean. It was hardly the 'canteen' Terry had imagined except the fact that there weren't any waiters waiting on you, you had to get your own food from the counters.

"Here, take the money and get the coupon from there and get me a plain coffee and whatever you want from that counter there. I’ll just go and find us a quiet place to talk."

Josh was already sitting at a booth with a slightly overweight young man when Terry brought the tray with two cups of coffee.

“This is John Andrews. He’s in Human Resources. You’ll be seeing more of him until all the formalities of recruitment are over. He works with Sophie.” The men shook hands. Terry noticed that the man was slightly awkward, much like him but in a different way. He seemed conscious all of a sudden. Maybe it was the weight issue. They had small talk when Josh suddenly interrupted.

"Man, you are some looker, aren't you? I’m so jealous." Josh said with a smirk.

"Hah, where did that come from?" Terry asked taking a sip of his coffee.

"Now don't turn immediately but right behind us is Cindy Snyder...I know her name has a weird ring to it, and Hailey McConnell. They have been practically drooling since you walked in here. That Cindy girl is one heart breaker. She has almost rejected every guy around here. She is very hard to please. She’s a blonde but one with brains, trust me, a very dangerous combination. And now I see her eyes glued to you, even when it’s just your back. Go for her, man...she's one hell of a catch." Josh had lost all his professionalism by now.

He turned around slightly and did indeed catch a couple of fairly good looking women watching him. The other was a brunette who seemed to merely humor Cindy. Her eyes would occasionally shift to John and Terry noticed John looking back at her in a way that would be as discrete as possible. He would only shift his eyes in that direction once in a while. So there was something going on there.

‘If I ever get to be good friends, maybe I could play cupid.’ Terry mused.

He saw Josh waiting for a response.

"I don't really care." Terry was not planning to out himself unless asked.

"What are you saying? These chicks drive me crazy. And they ARE the reason you are here, aren't they?" he said with a laugh.

"I’m not here for the chicks. Why would you think THAT?"

"You got me all wrong. I forgot you wouldn't know. Terry, do you know the reason you're here? Why did you think Daniel wanted a 'male secretary'? Didn’t you find that absurd?" Terry nodded and he went on, "the reason you're here is because until you, Daniel was the only real catch for the ladies. He’s got the warm, charming, genial and attractive personality that ladies found hard to resist. Sooo...he decided he won't let them suffer too much. He went for the 'other gender' who can’t like him that way. You get me? He is totally safe from a man unless of course he is inclined the other way, you know what I mean?" he was laughing and Terry felt really awkward.

"Now of course you aren't gay considering the effect you have on the ladies. I’m no homophobe but really, the chances are so slim, aren't they?"

Josh checked his watch and got up before Terry could reply. "Oh my god! It’s getting late. I gotta get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow. Meet me and I’ll introduce you to Sophie." with that he rushed away. John made an excuse and left as well.

Terry was left alone with the feelings of guilt. 'I can't possibly like him that way. But the reason I'm here is all wrong. I need to come clean before I work here and not to Josh but to Daniel. I have started a new life here and I want to start it with pride in who I Am.' with that thought he again started walking in the direction of Daniel’s office.

Terry was left feeling completely unsure of himself by what Josh had said. A new life in a city was supposedly going to make all the pains he had suffered back home go away.

He had been more than pleased to break free from the clutches of his demanding parents. Parents who only expected and were very less giving. Parents who had forced him to lie and be untrue to himself for a very long time. At least he owed them his life. As soon as he declared his love for Richard, they had broken all ties with him. They had tried to cure him off the ‘disease’.

So he had run. Or rather escaped the hell-hole. He had escaped that place with a decision that he would never be untrue about his feelings. He had already lied to Mr. Tranter about his reasons for taking up the job. There was no mother he wanted to support. There would never be. The only family he had was Richie’s and he only wanted to pay his own share.

As much as he needed the money, he wouldn’t let anyone point a finger at him anymore.

The decision was final. If Daniel thought any less of Terry after knowing the truth, he would leave the job in that very instance. Of course he had Richie to think about but Terry was sure he could deal with him. There hadn’t been enough time to tell him about his latest developments anyway.

He would find another job and get his life on track. He wasn’t going to live a lie just to protect something as trivial as a new job which hadn’t even begun yet.

Terry roamed around for a bit in the lobby deciding about the way he’d say what he had to say. He wondered if such a thing would even be of any concern to the busy man or he would just laugh it off.

An employer is closest to his assistant and he shouldn’t be keeping him in the dark.

With determination palpable on his face and a strong will, he knocked at the door.

“Come in.” Daniel hadn’t bothered to look up and it unnerved Terry. Was he going to waste a lot of time here? He didn’t know how things worked for important people. He just hoped he wasn’t offending his boss and violating the rules or decorum in an organization.

“Excuse me, Sir.”

“I think I had given you the day off”, he said while pretending to go through some papers.

Terence was getting annoyed at the cold demeanor of his boss but he was in no position to complain and bit back the tinge of arrogance that crept to the surface in his voice.

“Umm, yes, you did. But I had something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Daniel wondered what would be so important that Terry would have the nerve to come unannounced in the office when dismissed before. None of his employees did that before they got comfortable with his nature.

‘Does he plan on leaving already?’

‘Was I really too harsh on him that he does not want to work for someone like me?’

Numerous similar questions floated in his head before he discarded each one of them. If Terry didn’t want to continue, he would just up and leave. He hadn’t signed any contract before attending the training program. And even if he wanted to inform, he’d inform Joshua. The thing that made him feel utterly foolish was that he wouldn’t try to read so much in any of his other employees’ behaviors.

“Okay, you have five minutes. That’s a lot of time if you consider the amount of work I’ve got loaded. I have more work to do than arrange the files in the color or date order and take phone calls to arrange for the meetings. Unlike some, there is serious stuff for people like me. So it better be worth that time.”

That particular statement was totally mean and Daniel was shocked to learn that he had all that meanness stored inside. So what? No one is total genial. Somehow being cruel to the new boy was the only way acceptable to Daniel to deal with the situation.

He didn’t feel all that mighty when he casually looked up and his eyes fell on the vulnerable young man standing in front of him with a hurt expression that would break the heart of an inexorable man.

But the expressions on Terry’s face were soon replaced by a very determined look which left Daniel feeling relieved but a little on the edge. ‘This could be the moment when he would just quit.’ As much as he was worried about how to deal if Terry left, he wanted him to take that step. That would be the end of his endurance.

“It might not be important to you at all, but it is to me. So if you’ll please listen to me, I’ll be really glad.”

Terry’s tone was respectful but Daniel noticed how he had dropped the ‘sir’ and allowed a little hostility.

“Go ahead then.”

Now was the time for the show. After a very shaky start, Terence was unsure of everything. He hoped he would still retain his dignity when all this was over.

“I learnt from Josh the reason why you wanted to appoint a ‘male’ secretary instead of a ‘female’ one.”

This was not what Daniel was expecting Terry to say. Hell!, he wasn’t expecting anything actually.

“And it should bother you how?”

“It’s just that…just that if that was your reason, you should have sought someone else. I mean appointed someone who’s not me. I mean…”

Daniel was getting a little restless with the lack of clarity and wanted Terry to get over with whatever it was he had to say. He decided to lighten the mood a bit.

“Unless you’re a trans-dresser, I don’t see how you don’t fit my requirement.”

Since Daniel had minored in the ability to be rude to Terry, a malignant smirk made its way on his face unknowingly.

Having noticed that look, Terry decided he had had enough. He wasn’t going to let anyone mock him. Be it the end of his time here. He didn’t owe anything to this man but his conscience didn’t let him lie.

“No. I’m not a trans-dresser.” He said irritably. “But there is something that contradicts your requirement. You wanted to have a male secretary so you have that one satisfied but it was for a reason, if I’m right.”

Daniel was letting his mind wander a bit and the ideas he was getting were thrilling him.

‘Could it be that Terence is trying to say what I think he is trying to say or is it just wishful thinking?’

“I’m gay.”

Daniel’s head shot up and his eyes were wide with shock. He was expecting it but the words were still a little unreal to hear from Terry’s mouth.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m gay.” This time it came out a little more loudly. With a deep sigh he continued, “I’m gay and that means I’m interested in men and not women. You have become weary of the affection that your earlier secretaries showered on you, or so I’ve heard. I wanted to come clean about my sexuality so that you’d know the person who works for you and not learn things from other people. I don’t want to hide these things but I don’t even wear a banner to declare them.

“Such a thing has nothing to do with how I’ll perform here so I didn’t tell you then. But now I think you need to know. You need to know because I am capable of liking a man in that way.”

Terry spewed everything in one go. Daniel watched him slouch a bit and it felt like he had suddenly become too tired. The rush he had felt was now gone and his shoulders had slumped. His struggle to get everything out and tell the truth wasn’t lost on Daniel. Terry was a brave young man and Daniel felt more affection for him than ever before. His declaration also gave him hope. ‘If I take enough care to keep this a secret, maybe Terence and I could…”

“So…so that means you can like me…in that way?” Daniel was careful to not let the hopefulness show on his face. His voice came out more scared than controlled.

“NO! I mean I am capable of liking a man but I don’t…can’t like you like that.”

Daniel cringed inwardly but decided that Terence was just scared. He saw the apparent tension on the boy’s face. A little subtlety would probably do the trick.

“Is it that because of the position we are in, me being your employer and you being my assistant that you can’t like me in that way?”

Terry was aware of the change in his boss’ tone. He was incredulous about the sudden interest his boss had in the matter. At least he hadn’t called him a faggot and asked him to leave right then. That was a good thing, right? Such a personal question was still a little uncomfortable to answer.

“Umm…yes that too. But that’s not the only reason. The reason is I’m committed and in love with a guy for a very long time. The buddy I told you about is not just a buddy, he’s actually my partner. We stay together in an apartment. So you don’t have to worry about any advances from me. The decision whether to keep me still remains with you and I’ll be okay with anything. I have no choice anyway.” Terry felt the fogs of tension dissipate a bit and allowed a slight smile.

The words were like a knife piercing slowly through Daniel’s heart. ‘He already has a partner?’ he felt immensely hurt. ‘Get a grip Daniel, you are not a teenager and this is not your teenage crush to cry over.’

“Fine then. I didn’t know people like you could fall in love and be loyal to each other. But I’ll take you at your word. You can continue your job here as long as you keep your hands off of me. Now enough of my time has already been wasted in your ‘so called’ pursuit of truth. Get out and let me finish my work.”

To disguise the hurt that was so blatantly showing its head, Daniel used sarcasm.

Terence was stunned. The sudden change in mood froze him to the spot.

“But, si…”

“GET OUT TERENCE.” Daniel yelled. “And if you care for time at all, come on time tomorrow.”

Without a backward glance Terence left the office and didn’t so much as bother when the door slammed shut with a loud bang.

‘That. Insolent. Bastard. Whoever said he was a good man is a darn good liar.’