Severely Moonstruck - 11. Amortentia

When Remus returned to Gryffindor tower that night, he took a shower and brought himself off twice; once to the memory of Severus’s lips, and the second time to the thought of Severus doing exactly the same thing he had just done. The idea that they might be coming at the same time, to the same memory, even if they weren’t together, was almost unbearably hot, and Remus had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t make too much noise.

He fell asleep to that memory, and carried it with him for the entirety of the next day. It was almost impossible not to grin like an idiot when he caught Severus’s eye across the Great Hall at breakfast, and he had to focus very intently on his bacon and eggs. James still seemed to notice his smile, though, because he bumped his shoulder against Remus’s and said softly, ‘You look happy. What’s going on?’

Remus shrugged, but couldn’t wipe away his smile. ‘Nothing, really. Do I need a reason to smile?’

‘You tend to have one, most of the time.’

Remus licked bacon grease off his lips and looked away. He knew he was blushing. ‘Trust me, James. You don’t want to know.’

‘Fine, fine. Forget I asked.’ James turned his attention to Lily, and asked no more questions.

Remus went through his day just longing to be alone with Severus. They had Potions together that afternoon, and Remus and Severus paired up to brew a complex healing potion. It was so difficult not to reach out and touch Severus’s hand, or any part of him, really. As they stood shoulder to shoulder chopping ingredients, Remus wanted more than anything to kiss Severus’s pale neck, where he had exposed it by tucking his long hair behind his ear.

While their potion bubbled, Severus said quietly, ‘This is unbearable.’

‘I know,’ Remus replied. The fact that they were in the dungeon, that the table James and Sirius were currently working at was the same table where Remus had sat the night before while Severus ravaged his mouth, made everything so much worse.

‘Any lessons after this?’ asked Severus softly, just barely glancing at Remus. Remus shook his head. ‘Nor have I. All right. Let’s leave here together, I know where we can go.’

Remus’s heart pounded in his chest, and he nodded. ‘Okay.’

As soon as the lesson was over, Severus led him down the corridor in the opposite direction from the stairs. Once he was sure no one was around, he opened a door and pulled Remus inside a broom cupboard. He closed the door, magically locked it, and turned to Remus who, in pure desperation, pushed him up against it and found his mouth. Their tongues sought each other, and Remus whimpered softly as Severus pulled him closer to him so their torsos were pressed tightly together.

They came away panting, foreheads steepled together. ‘That,’ said Remus breathlessly, ‘was torture. How am I supposed to be in the same room with you when I just want to kiss you all the time?’

Severus gave a low chuckle. ‘I know. This is going to be . . . difficult.’

‘You’re telling me . . .’ Remus kissed Severus again, a bit softer this time, now that he wasn’t quite so desperate for him. He mouthed along his jaw, down to his neck. ‘This part,’ Remus murmured against his skin. ‘I wanted to kiss you here.’ He gave a little lick and a nibble and felt Severus melt completely against him with a soft moan. ‘Shh, we have to be quiet.’

‘Hm. No, we don’t.’ Severus pulled out his wand, waved it and muttered, ‘Muffliato.’

‘Don’t know that one,’ said Remus.

‘Of course not. It’s of my own design.’ Severus took Remus’s face in his hands and crashed their lips together again. ‘Mm, now we—’ teasing lick ‘—can be as loud—’ he nipped at Remus’s bottom lip ‘—as we want.’

Remus didn’t need encouragement, and groaned into the kiss. ‘We’re moving too fast again,’ he whispered. ‘We need to . . .’

‘I know.’ Severus kissed below Remus’s ear and took the earlobe into his mouth experimentally.

‘Gods! Severus, we need to slow down!’

‘I know,’ Severus repeated, but made no sign of relenting, and Remus really didn’t want him to, either.

He sought Severus’s mouth again, kissed him deeply and let his hand wander up from Severus’s hip to his chest, feeling the lean firmness of his body beneath his fingers.

‘Remus . . . We have to stop . . .’ Severus gasped as Remus’s thumb brushed his nipple through the fabric of his robes.

‘I know,’ Remus murmured against his lips. He sighed, moved his hand back down to Severus’s hip, and took a small step back. ‘I know. Fuck . . .’

‘That would typically be in the not slowing down category,’ said Severus, and Remus saw him smirk through the low light. They hadn’t even bothered to light their wands, he realised. They had simply found each other in the dark.

Remus laughed. ‘No. I just . . . I want to do a lot more.’ He knew he was blushing, but Severus couldn’t see that in the dim light.

He felt Severus shiver slightly. ‘Me too.’ Severus leaned forward and kissed him again, but softly. ‘This is going to be really, really difficult,’ he repeated.

‘Mhm.’ Remus sighed. ‘We’ll just have to try to be together as much as we can. I mean, we already study together almost every day.’

‘I don’t think we can do this in the library,’ Severus pointed out, and Remus took a moment to imagine the librarian catching them and banning them for life.

‘Oh, I dunno . . . Can always steal a quick kiss in the stacks when no one’s looking.’

‘Yes, because so far we’ve been so good at quick kisses,’ Severus said archly.

Remus smiled. ‘Early days. We’ll get there. But yeah, right now I really just want to snog you silly every time I look at you. Not that I didn’t before, but now that you . . . now that I know you want it too it’s a lot harder to control the impulse.’

‘Exactly.’ Severus raised his hand to Remus’s cheek, cupping it in his palm. He sighed. ‘I’m not very good at this, I’m afraid.’

‘At what? The kissing? Cause, trust me, you’re really good at that.’

Severus chuckled softly. Hearing him do that, seeing him smile, hearing so much emotional inflection in his voice—comparatively, anyway—made Remus’s heart leap, and he leaned into the touch of Severus’s hand with a soft sigh.

‘I’m a quick study,’ said Severus. ‘No, I just mean . . . everything. I’d never even kissed anyone before you, and I’m not good with . . . feelings, and things.’

Remus kissed Severus’s palm. ‘I know you’re not. That’s okay.’

‘But I wanted to say . . .’ Remus could see Severus wet his lips in the dark and had the not so sudden urge to kiss him again. That would be bad form while Severus was trying to tell him something, however. ‘I wanted to say that I want to be with you. And I’ve never been with anyone before, so I don’t really know how I’m supposed to act.’

Remus smiled. ‘Just keep doing what you’re doing, Severus. I . . . I love how much you’re opening up to me, you know. You say you’re not good with feelings, but I think you’re doing really well at expressing them. To me, anyway. And . . . I want to be with you, too. Much as I can.’ Remus kissed Severus again, a chaste peck on the lips. ‘When did this become such a serious conversation?’ he quipped. ‘I thought we just came in here to snog. Isn’t it a bit early to be talking about our feelings?’

‘Sorry,’ said Severus, but Remus felt his smile when next they kissed. ‘Although, it’s not like this is all that new. Not really. It took us a while to get to this stage, but if you think about it, this has been going on for months already.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yes. I knew I . . . liked you when I agreed to go to Hogsmeade with you.’

‘So that was basically our first date.’

‘Mhm.’

‘Well, if you think of it that way, we’ve already gone on three dates. Hogsmeade, Slughorn’s Christmas party, and I feel like last night counts as well.’

‘I’d say so. And only one of those ended in abject failure.’

‘Oh, I don’t know . . . I think we learnt something that night. Don’t you?’

Severus nodded. ‘I suppose we did.’ He sighed. ‘I’m still vexed that we wasted all that time not doing this, though.’

Remus laughed. ‘Yeah. Me too.’ And to prove it he captured Severus’s lips again, and they spent another good ten minutes getting each other extremely worked up. Remus pressed his knee in between Severus’s legs and bit into his neck, though he took care not to leave any marks. He could feel Severus’s arousal against his thigh. Severus grabbed onto Remus’s robes with his fists and threw his head back against the door with a throaty groan, which served to turn Remus on even more. Merlin, how he wanted him!

‘I have a feeling we’re not gonna be able to take it slow for very long,’ Severus breathed.

It took all the self-control that Remus had to let Severus go and step out of his space. ‘We should get out of here. Library? Try to get some studying done?’

Severus nodded. ‘Probably a good idea. Have to do this first, though.’ He straightened up, slipped his arms around Remus’s waist and kissed him gently on the lips. ‘Tide me over until next time.’

Remus kissed him back, breathed in the scent of him, heady with arousal. He’d never been this aware of how someone smelled before. He wondered how Severus could have this effect on him. He recalled that time the previous spring, when he had leaned close to Severus in the library. That was the first time he’d perceived that scent, and it had made him shaky and weak. And later, when Severus had figured out what he was and confronted him, pushed him up against that wall, Remus had felt like he might just die from it. As time went by he had learned to endure it better, to not let it overpower him, but it was still there, and it seemed to linger long after they parted.

‘All right,’ he said, stepping away. ‘Let’s go do some studying.’

* * *

It was easier said than done. When their knees touched beneath the table, Remus shivered. He got distracted by Severus’s beautiful, pale neck and wanted to kiss it, bite it. And Severus seemed no better off. Remus would catch him staring at his mouth rather than listen when Remus was trying to explain something about Defence Against the Dark Arts. After a couple of hours they gave it up as a bad job, and went off to find somewhere quiet to resume their earlier activities.

About a week passed this way, with the two of them stealing away to find somewhere secret they could snog desperately for a couple of hours every day. Remus’s lips felt sore almost constantly now from all the kissing, and he couldn’t possibly care less.

‘Where do you disappear off to all the time these days, Moony?’ asked James one day as they were leaving Transfiguration.

Remus shrugged. ‘Studying with Severus, mostly.’

‘Yeah, but I stop by the library sometimes too, and I haven’t seen you or Snape there all week.’

‘Must have missed us. Besides, we study elsewhere, too. Severus has access to the Potions dungeon after hours, so we sometimes go there so we can do something practical.’ It wasn’t quite a lie; they had been there as recently as the previous night, though the practical thing they had been doing had nothing to do with Potions, or any other NEWT.

James looked unconvinced, but let the matter lie. Remus was grateful for it. His friend was too nosy for his own good. If he found out what Remus and Severus were up to, he would dearly regret his curiosity.

Remus was on his way to the library to meet Severus that evening when he found it. He had been walking down a corridor that contained the ugliest tapestry he had ever seen (eight dancing trolls in tutus), thinking that he and Severus really needed to find somewhere better to meet, when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a door he’d never seen before.

On a whim, he opened it. Within was a room, small and cozy, with a very comfortable looking sofa facing an empty fireplace. It didn’t look like anyone had been in there for some time. Remus stepped back out and closed the door, frowning at it. He could have sworn that there hadn’t even been a door there a minute ago. But then this was Hogwarts. If staircases could move, doors appearing out of nowhere should come as no surprise.

He continued on to the library, where he and Severus went over several counter curses.

‘Let’s go somewhere else,’ Severus murmured after about half an hour.

Remus bit his lip. Going elsewhere sounded like a fantastic idea. And then he realised that he knew just the place. ‘Come on, I know where we can go.’

When they arrived by the tapestry, however, the door was gone again, and Remus swore.

‘What’s going on?’ asked Severus.

‘I walked through here on my way to the library, and there was a door, right here. It led to this little room, with a sofa and things. But it’s gone again now.’

Severus looked thoughtful. ‘What were you thinking when you walked by?’

‘What?’

‘What were you thinking about?’

Remus blushed. ‘What do you think I was thinking about?’

Severus smiled his secret almost smile. ‘Anything else?’

Then Remus recalled. ‘I was thinking about how we needed a better place to meet.’

‘All right.’ Severus looked up and down the deserted corridor, and took Remus by the hand, pulling him away from the tapestry and a bit down the corridor. ‘Think about it again.’ He turned them around and they walked past the tapestry once more. This time, when Remus looked, the door was there in the wall opposite.

‘How did—?’

‘I’ve heard about this,’ said Severus. ‘It’s known as the Room of Requirement. When someone has need of it, it appears, containing just what that person requires.’ He smirked. ‘You required a sofa?’

Remus looked away, heat growing in his face. ‘I guess so . . .’

They approached the door and opened it, stepping inside. The room was as before, though this time there was a fire crackling merrily in the hearth, casting the room in a soft, golden glow. Severus turned to Remus. ‘Yes. I think this will do nicely.’

Severus took Remus’s hand and pulled him towards the sofa. They sat down together, and before before long they were no longer so much sitting as lying on top of each other, releasing the day’s frustration in the form of passionate kisses. Once again, Remus wanted closer, wanted more, but he held back still, though he clung to Severus like a drowning man.

If he touched him, he wouldn’t be able to stop. He would crave more, they both would, and it wouldn’t end with just the touch. All the same, Remus soon found himself straddling Severus’s thighs, licking into his mouth while needy little sounds escaped him, sounds he would have felt embarrassed to utter had he not been so desperately aroused. Severus ground his hips upwards to meet him, eyes blacker than normal with lust. Want. Need.

Remus attacked Severus’s neck with his teeth. He was obsessed with his pale throat. Severus groaned, arching his back, turning his face away to provide better access. It was difficult not to leave marks and, pushing the collar of Severus’s robes out of the way a bit, Remus went for his shoulder instead, allowing himself to suck on the skin there until a purple bruise bloomed there, marking Severus as his.

If they didn’t slow down, Remus was sure they would both come in their pants, and he pulled away enough to put some space between them, though he was still on hands and knees above Severus, looking down into his pale face.

‘I’m in love with you,’ he breathed, before he could stop himself. He instantly regretted it, as Severus froze, licked his lips, frowned slightly. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have . . . Forget I said anything.’

‘No,’ said Severus softly. ‘It’s . . . it’s all right. I . . . I’m in love with you as well, I think.’

Slowly, Remus felt his expression change into a smile. He looked away with a short huff of laughter, then met Severus’s eyes again. ‘I suppose the whole pining for months thing ought to have been a clue.’

Severus uttered a soft chuckle. ‘Indeed. Now, come here.’ And he took Remus’s face in his hands and pulled him down to kiss him. ’Stop overthinking it.’

They stayed in the Room of Requirement all evening. Remus never wanted to leave.