The Tide Began to Rise - Repost - 15. Chapter 15

I woke up the next morning to Patch liking my ears. It was really gross. My face was all wet and slobbery. I kept telling him to stop, but he wouldn’t I tried pushing him away with my good arm. He just went to the other ear. Even though it was gross, it tickled. Through my struggles to get him off me, I was laughing historically.

Suddenly Patch stopped liking me and ran to the door. When I looked at the door to figure out why, I noticed that Brent was in the doorway. Patch was up on his hind legs, stretching out on Brent. He had his front paws on his waist, inching up. It was so cute. Brent reached down and scratched his head.

“Morning Tyler, how are you feeling today?”

“I’m good, a little sore. Where are my pills?”

“I’ve got them right here.” He held out his hand to show my pills. In the other hand he held a glass of water.

He brought the glass and pills over to me. I sat up in the bed. Brent handed me the pills and I popped them, into my mouth. I drank the entire glass. After a bit the pills kicked in and I asked Brent to help me get dressed. Brent went to one of the boxes that had my clothes in it, and picked out something for me to wear. While he was doing that I slid out of bed. I stood up, and got my balance. I put most of my weight on my good leg. When I was standing, I raised my arm over my head to stretch. I doubled over form the pain in my chest. When the pain subsided, I realized that I smelt funky.

“Hey Brent, how am I going to take a shower. I can’t get the casts wet. And I’m not doing around smelling.”

“hmmmmmmmm…………………………… Plastic bags over them, or I could give you a sponge bath every day.”

“As much as I love the idea, I don’t think so. It might be kind of weird for your mom to hear you offering to wash another boy’s body.”

“True…………..well my mom leaves for work at 5:30 in the morning. So we don’t have to worry about that.”

“You just want to see me in the buff. After undress me last night, you can’t wait to see the rest.”

Brent blushed. We both started laughing. He finished picking out my clothes and helped me to the bathroom. Once I was in there, he left to get some plastic bags. He came back and helped me put the bags on so that my casts wouldn’t get wet. He asked me several times if I need help taking my boxers off. That just kept fueling what I thought, about him just wanting to see me naked. Every time he asked, I told him that I could handle it.

Brent left the bathroom, and I struggled to get undressed. Bending over hurt, moving my arm hurt, doing anything hurt. I managed to do it though. The doctor gave me a chair to put in the shower so that I wouldn’t have to stand up or get so low into the tub that I couldn’t get out. I couldn’t ask Brent to help if these things happened.

I got into the tub and turned the water on. I cleaned myself as best I could with one arm. I don’t know how long I was in the shower, but it was long enough for the temperature of the water to start going down. When It did, I decided that it was time to finish up. I turned the water off and got out of the tub. I put the lid down on the toilet so that I could sit down and get my clothes on. At least my boxers, Brent had seen me in underwear and I was fine with that. Once I had them on I called him in.

“Brent………. You can come in now. I need help. I need to finish getting dressed.”

He opened the door and came in. He had a smile on his face.”

“What are you happy about?”

“I’m happy your here, and I think that it’s funny how embarrassed you are about being naked in front of me.”

“It’s not that I’m embarrassed. Believe me; I have fantasized about this for so long. It’s just; I have never done this before. I have stayed in the dark for so long. I just want to go slow. I really want to get to know you before the big step. I want you to be my first, but when we are both ready. And I know that I won’t be ready for at least 8 weeks.”

“I understand. I’m just giving you shit. But if you do decide to let me help you with bathing, I won’t try anything. I will just take a picture so that I can daydream about it. Hehe”

He leaned in and gave me a kiss. “Oh, by the way, mom took patch to the vet. She wanted to get it done and you were taking forever in the shower.”

“Ok…………So what do you want to do?”

“I figured that we could just stay here and watch movies or something. Is that ok with you?” he said.

“Yeah that fine. Yesterday was hard, just want to relax today.”

We went down into the family room. We looked at all the movies that they had. Finally we decided on Sweeny Todd. Brent said that I would love it. I’m not a big movie person. Not because I don’t like them, it’s because I was never allowed to go. The main character of the movie was played by a guy named Johnny Depp. From what I could tell from the movie, he was a great actor.

Toward the end of the movie, we heard Julie at the front door. I knew it was her because I heard Patch whining. When the front door opened Patch came running into the family room. He jumped up on me and started licking my face. I could tell from his reaction that the whining from before was because he wanted to see me. I kept telling him to stop, but he was too excited to see me. Brent had to eventually pick him up and set him on the floor.

Julie came into the room after taking her shoes off and putting her things away.

“What did the vet say?” I asked.

“He said that Patch is a very healthy dog, thanks to you. He gave me some heart worm stuff and some flea stuff.”

“Yay”

We talked for a while. We discussed how things would work. I would always have to let Julie know where I am and who I’m with. If I would not becoming home, I would need to let her know who, where, what time I would be home the next day. I asked her about chores. She said that the only thing that I would need to do is keep my room clean. She said that they have a cleaning lady come in.

“Wow…………..ok…………. I can’t remember that last time I didn’t have to do any chores.”

“Well if you want some, I’m sure that the cleaning lady wouldn’t mind doing less work.”

“Ummmmmmm, I think that I will pass.”

“Ok then. So what do you two want for dinner?”

“hmmmm…………..” Brent said.

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes. I started thinking about meals that I liked to eat. Then I started thinking about my mom. She used to cook all the time. It was good homemade food. None of the store bought stuff. I started going through all the wonderful meals she made in my head. There were so many good things that she made. The one that stuck out was….

“Mexican rice skillet” without thinking, I said it out loud.

“What’s that?” Brent and Julie asked at the same time.

“It’s something my mom used to make before my dad went insane. I can walk you through how to make it. All it is white rice, ground beef, corn, tomato sauce, and spices.”

We all went into the kitchen. I told Julie what all she would need. She started browning the meat. While that was cooking, she got the corn, and rice out. We had to dig in the cabinets to find the tomato sauce. Once the beef was browned and strained, we added the rice, water corn, and tomato sauce. When the rice was soft, I told Julie to add the spices.

When the meal was done cooking, Julie grabbed 3 bowls. I asked her if she had any shredded cheese and corn chips. She gave me a confused look, then got up and went and got the items. When she got back, I grabbed the bag a chips.

“This is what I always did when my mom made this…… I take a hand full for chips and crumple them up and put them on top of the food, and then I put the shredded cheese on top of that.”

Brent followed what I did and put a little bit of the chips and cheese on his food. Both Brent and Julie just looked at what was in front of them, unsure of the flavor combination. To tell the truth, the food looked like a dog threw up and we put it on a plate to eat.

I was the first to take a bite. I was watching their faces. “Just try it. It tastes great. I promise, if you don’t like it, it will not go to waste. This makes really good left over’s and I will eat it for days.”

Brent was the next to take a bite. He chewed slowly, trying to take in all of the flavors. After about 30 seconds of him chewing, he got a satisfying look on his face.

“Wow…….. This is good. Try it mom.”

Julie got a small amount of the food on her fork and put it in her mouth. Just as with Brent, she got a satisfying look. A smile went across my face, we talked for a while. The meal was a hit. So much so that there were not left over’s.

I was starting to get tired. I told Brent and we went through the same routine as the night before. This time after he left the room, I didn’t fall straight to sleep. Tomorrow would be my first day back to school I was thinking about what everyone is going to do, the hundreds of eyes staring at me. All the questions people are going to ask. That’s that part that I’m dreading the most. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stay composed and explain everything. I don’t even think that I want to. With these thoughts floating around head, I began to slowly drift away for consciousness.

Brent woke me up the next morning. Again it was the same routine. When I got out of the shower, and had boxer’s on, he came in and helped me get dressed. We went in the kitchen and got something to eat for breakfast. When we finished, we grabbed out things and headed out to Brent’s car.

“Brent, when we get to school; I don’t want you to feel that you have to hang out with me. I know that you have your own friends, and I have mine. I don’t want to take you away from them.”

“OK, but I will hang out with whoever I want to, and I choose you and your friends. They seem more real than the snobby kids that I hang out with. Also, if my friends have a problem with me hanging out with you guys, well then they can blow me.”

“They most certainly cannot……”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m sure my friends would love you hanging around us. They might get a little suspicious though.”

“Well if they do, then we will just tell them.”

We drove the rest of the way in silence. When we go to the school, we went straight to the office. I was asked to stay there for a little while. Brent said goodbye and left. The receptionist told me that the principle wanted to talk to me. She told me that he would be here in about 15 minutes.

The 15 minutes turned into 45 minutes. I didn’t mind too much, because I was missing class. I really wasn’t sure I’m ready for all the stares that I would be getting form people.

Principle Taylor walked into the room. “I’m so sorry I’m late. There are a few things that I need to talk to you about.”

“Ok, what is it?”

“Today I’m planning a school assembly to talk about abuse. It is not set in stone yet. I wanted to make sure it was alright with you.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure that I will speak or not. I’m not sure if you wanted me to or not. I just can’t make that promise.”

“That’s fine; I will give you that option. That second this is I as told to tell you that your mom’s funeral will be on Wednesday.”

“What……………………..who………………………how?”

“What I can tell you is that everything is taken care of?”

“Thank you” I started crying. I couldn’t help it. Knowing that someone out there did this for my mom, made me so happy. They were happy tears. My mom is going to get a proper funeral thanks to the kind and loving heart of a stranger.

“I’m going to make the announcement that the assembly will be at 10. If you want to go to class you may, but you can also stay here. I know what I just told you, is something that is going to take time to sink in.”

He left his office to go make the announcement. I decided to stay there until the assembly. I was thinking about whether I should say anything or not. I was thinking maybe I should. If there is anyone else going through this then they should hear what I have to say. Then the thought of the funeral came into my head. Who would be kind enough to do this? Maybe it is Julie. She has done so much for me already, why not this?

At about 9:30 – 9:45 everyone started making their way to the gym. It is not a big school. There are only about 800 kids.

Mr. Taylor stepped up to microphone. “Thank you all for being here today. I wish I could tell you that I called this assembly for a happy occasion. In fact it is quite the opposite. I want to talk you today about abuse, but not just any kind, child abuse. All of the other kinds are just as bad, but we will stick to this one for today.

“Most of you know about this, but as a refresher: Child abuse is behavior directed toward a child by an adult that harms a child’s physical or emotional health and development. Physical abuse is non-accidental physical injury, ranging from bruises to sever factures. Death can occur as a result of punching, kicking, throwing, choking etc. of the child. ”
He went on to talk about emotional abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse. Each section lasted about 15 minutes.

“Now before I let you all go back to your classes, I wanted to explain why I felt it necessary to do this today. As many of you already know, last week a tragedy happened. One of our seniors went through a loss, which he never should have gone through. I would like to give him a chance to talk, if he would like to.”

He looked over at me. I nodded my head and I pushed my wheel chair to the mic.

“Hi………… I don’t know what you were told about what happened, but I will try and explain it…………………I don’t know if anyone knew my name before any of this happened. I still don’t know if you know my name. Frankly, I don’t care. I never have. I have my group of friends and that’s good enough for me. I don’t mean to sound like an ass. I’m a quiet, shy guy, who blends into the crowd so I can’t be found.

“My life used to be normal. Nothing bad ever happened. I wasn’t afraid to go home. Then with one change, everything went to hell. I dreaded waking up in the summer because I knew it would be nothing but work, yelling and beatings. I longed and prayed for school to come, so I could get away. I feared going home after school, so I tried to get my friends to do something after we got out. Some days they did something without question, other days they wouldn’t. For the days that they helped me escape hell a little longer, I have to say thank you.

“I never told anyone anything was happening to me at home. When the bruises started to form, I changed the way I dressed. I changed to long dark clothes. I used to be somewhat happy. I changed to being almost an outcast. I really showed no emotion other than sadness. I started to become jumpy. Everything around me, every sound or movement, made me twitch.

“There was a question that I would always ask when I heard someone talking about being abuse. I’m sure that some of you are asking yourselves the same question about me. “Why didn’t you tell someone so they could help you?” My answer is, at least for me, that I felt ashamed. I thought that somehow I deserved what I got. In the back of my head, I felt I wasn’t good enough for my dad. I also thought that if I let him hit me, then he wouldn’t go after my mom. I would have rather take the beating then let her stuffer. I figured that I could deal with and take it until the end of my senior year. Then I could move out and never have to see him again.

“I was wrong. A week ago I stayed with a friend and I didn’t let my dad know. When I got home, he went crazy. He started hitting me and kicking me. Somehow I ended up on the floor, and he started choking me. My mom tried to get him to stop. He………………………………..”

I paused. The tears started streaming down my face. After a minute or so I wiped the tears away and continued.

“My dad shot my mom. He shot her for trying to save me. To him I was a worthless son. That gun shot was the last thing I remember. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital, screaming in pain because I tried to move. My friends were there for me every day.

“Today is my first day back to school since then. When I came in today, I was told Mr. Taylor wanted to talk to me. He told me that he called for this assembly. He also told me that my mom’s funeral is going to be on Wednesday and that everything is taken care of. I don’t know by whom……. “

“I can tell you now.” Mr. Taylor said, cutting me off. “When the students heard what happened, they got together and came up with a way to raise the money. They put cans in every store for donation. Some went door to door asking. Some students did a bake sale, others had a car wash. Tyler, you said you tired to hide what was going on, that you became an outcast. What your fellow classmates did for you shows they care, and feel bad for you. All together they raise $20,000 from the community here and in Council Bluffs. The student council went to the funeral home and paid for the service. They decided to get her cremated so that you can do what you wanted. They are giving you the rest of the money, because it was raised for you.”

Mr. Taylor motioned someone to come over. Cody Marot, the student council president, came over with a bag.

“Tyler, when we heard what happened, I got all the students together to find away to help you. You may have tried to hide, but we still noticed you. Please take this as a sign that we care about you, that you don’t have to hide from us. We are here to support you. I can’t imagine the pain you are in, or what you must be feeling. If you ever need to talk to someone, I am here for you dude.”

He set the bag down in front of me. He looked at me dead in the eye. I saw a tear going down his check.

“Thank you all so much……. I don’t know what else to say.” I started crying.

“I have decided that the rest of the school day is canceled those of you that drove may leave. The busses won’t be running early, so the rest can stay here until then. Also, this Wednesday, school will be cancelled. I’m sure Tyler would appreciate any and all of you at the funeral. You are dismissed.”
I stayed where I was. I was still in shock. I spent a good portion of my time trying to stay out of their gaze. I tried my hardest to keep myself hidden. But I can see that the harder I tired, the more I was noticed. Now I am very thankful for that.

People were coming up to me to tell how sorry they were. Some of the girls gave me a hug; the guys either shook my hand or patted my shoulder. When my friends got there they stayed behind me, or around me to talk. I thanked everyone that came up to me from the bottom of my heart. I never thought that my classmates could all come together to help someone other than the people in their click.

Once everyone had left the gym, my friends and I went to the cafeteria to eat lunch. We sat at our normal table. Only today other people wanted to sit with us. Normally that only happens if they can’t find a place to sit anywhere else. The only person that I expected to see there was Brent.

We stayed at the school until lunch was over. Then we all headed back to our house. We deiced to watch a movie. Nothing to spectacular. I told them to go ahead and play video games, but they wanted to do something that included me. Such sweet and hard headed friends I have.

By 7:30 everyone had left for home. We decided to order pizza for dinner. We got a large pepperoni. Once we were done eating, it was time to go to bed. Brent helped me to my room and helped me get ready. I lay in bed and reflected on what happened throughout the day. There was one thing that I kept going back to, the money. I still could not believe it. Mr. Taylor told me that the funeral cast was 8,500 dollars. That left with 11,500. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that.

With the thought of money dancing around my head, I feel asleep. I woke to Brent gently shaking me. I got ready and we headed to school. The day was like any other school day, except everyone was offering to help me. It was getting a little annoying. People wanted to push me to my next class, carry my things for me, a few people even offered to do my homework. I turned them all down. The office assigned someone to help me get to my classes.

I was having a hard time concentrating. Not just because everyone asking if they could help me. It’s because of the funeral tomorrow. What am I going to say? I mean she’s my mom, I have to say something. When I get home I will have to think of something really heartfelt to say. Something that tells everyone how much I love and care for my mom, but also says how much I’m hurt because she is gone.

Since tomorrow is going to be an extremely hard day for me, I told my friends that I didn’t want to hangout or anything. I just wanted to be by myself. There are things that I needed to think about.

When we got home, I went straight to my room. I needed to figure out what I’m going to say. There are so many things that I want to say. I want to tell her how much I love here. I want to express the hurt and anger I feel for her allowing the abuse. There are just so many things I want to tell her.

I spent the rest of the night writing my thoughts. I skipped dinner. At midnight I feel asleep. I woke up to Brent saying my name. We did our normal routine. I went back to my room; I found an envelope on my desk. It just had my name on it. I opened it and read it. I began to cry after I read the first few lines. When I finished I was in tears. I knew that I need to read this at the funeral.

Brent came and got me and we drove to the church. Almost everyone from my class was there. A few underclassmen were there, but mostly seniors. There were a few family friends.

Once everyone was seated, the funeral director spoke. After 30 minutes he said “Tyler, her son would now like to say a few words.”

I made my way to the podium.

“Thank you all for coming today. It really means a lot to me. Thank you to those of you that helped make this happen. It couldn’t have been done without you. Until I was told, I didn’t think anyone in the world cared about anyone else but themselves. This changed the way I feel about the world.

“This is something I never thought I would be able to do. I know the saying “kids are supposed to bury their parents”, but not when the kid is 18 years old. In one night, the life I lived and the one person that I loved whole heartedly were gone. One I am glad to be rid of. The other I don’t want to live without.

“My mom’s life was cut short because she wanted to protect me from someone that wanted to hurt me. But it worked I’m here today because of that sacrifice. To her and a friend I owe my life. I just don’t know how to repay my mom.

“A few days ago I was told about this funeral. At first I was shocked, then sad. I don’t want to bury my mom. There are still so many things that I need to learn from her. I don’t want to let her go. Last night I sat in my room and I wrote out what I wanted to say. It turned into a speech. I rewrote into this letter:

“Mom,
Why did you have to leave me? I’m not ready to live my life without you there to guide me. There are certain things that I need you to teach me. They won’t be the same coming from someone else. I knew this day would come one day. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. I need you here to help me get through life’s problems. I need you here to tell me everything will be ok. I need to here you voice again. I need to feel your body against mine as you hug me. I need to see you when I wake up. The sight of you tells me, not matter what hell I may go through; there is still love in the world. The place I’m at now is a loving home, and I’m glad to be there. But there is nothing like being in a house with you there. There were so many times I gave up on life because of dad. So many times I wanted to die, just so I could get away. The only thing that stopped me was you. I have to ask you, why didn’t you call the cops? Why did you allow him to hurt me? I was 15 when he started. I always through you didn’t care. Until the day you were taken from me, I thought you didn’t care. Every time I begged you, you turned your head. You never once told me it will be ok. A 15 year old boy need’s to hear that when his dad is beating the hell out of him because he’s not as good as his half brother. Can you tell me now that everything will be ok? Can you tell me now that my life can be normal again? Please, can you tell me that? I need you to tell me that. I need to hear you say that.”

I was in tears. I couldn’t see what I wrote through the tears in my eyes. But I continued.

“I wrote that last night. I cried myself to sleep. Thinking about my mom. When I woke up today my eyes hurt, when I got back to my room after I showered, I found a letter on my desk in an envelope with my name on it. I opened it and read it. I cried again. I knew that I would need to read it here today. This is the letter:

“To my dearest son, some things I'd like to say
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there are no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.


Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon, and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.


It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest son, he'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that I have to do, to help our mortal man"


God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you...in the middle of the night.


When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.


I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over,
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.


There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.


If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night..."My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented...that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.


So, if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.


And when it's time for you to go...from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.”

“I don’t know where the letter came from. I don’t know if it was my mom that wrote that. But it made me cry. I would like to thank you all again from coming today. It really means a lot to me.”

I left the podium, and went back to my seat. I put my face in my hands and cried. The service went on for another 2 hours. Family friends said a few words. When everyone was done. I went outside to get some fresh air. People came up to me and told me they were sorry for my loss. I thanked them. When everyone was gone, I asked Brent to take me home. I wanted to be alone.

Brent took me home and I went to my room. Brent came in and laid with me on the bed. I cried myself to sleep in his arm. That night I dreamed that my mom was still here and we got away from dad and we were living a great life.