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Boys are odd creatures. Yes, they are. Don’t try to deny it. Let me explain. i took both my boys shopping today. (Yes i know you know i detest shopping. i had no choice in this. Anyway, that’s a different blog post. ) Boys, make odd noises. They were talking, and they would accent their conversation with these strange vocalizations. i can’t even begin to describe them. Is there a gene, or other chromosomal anomaly that enables the male vocal chords to do that? i tried hard to just listen and not react. It was fascinating. Truly. Boys, they smell. They do. i know for a fact that both these boys showered. This morning. But, they’d walk past me to see something on a shelf and there was a whiff of...something on the breeze. It wasn’t that it was unpleasant, but it wasn’t roses and lilacs either. It was just “boy.” Boys, show affection differently. Now granted these are not boyfriends or lovers, they’re brothers, and that’s its own kind of relationship. And these brothers are 6 ½ years apart in age. The physicality of their affection startles me still. Shoulder punches, high fives and fist bumps that resembled an MMA fight, shoving, headlocks. At one point, i was concerned about the glass jars and bottles on the shelves at the store. But these boys were aware of where they were and this tussling affection was measured and controlled. And the name calling! Oh good heavens! If i didn’t know any better i would have thought they didn’t like each other. Boys, though, still surprise their mom. They found a movie they both wanted, neither had enough to get it. They agreed to split the cost. In a most satisfying and adult way. It was an affirmation that they do like each other. Even if mom doesn’t understand them! Yes, boys are odd. It’s a good thing that they grow up. Or do they?

I know I’ve said this before; I always wanted a marriage like my parents have. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t be traditional, given the fact I am Gay, but I wanted it all the same. As I hung with friends, played baseball and hockey, went through school, I came to realize I was often assuming a dominant position, and often asked to lead. It was sort of a natural thing. I ended up in school taking criminology and socio-legal studies, and received my degree. I went on to become a police officer and eventually a detective. While I was still a uniformed officer, I accepted who I was: a Dominant Sadist. I read and spoke to people and dipped my toes into the world of BDSM, and D/s. I met John, a friend and mentor who was also a cop at the time. I learned more and dated. Submissive men were attracted and attractive to me. Yet it was an unsettled life. The boys came and went. I still wanted to find, him—the one. I’ve written about that before, meeting tim. We have been together now for ten years, married for nine of them. We have had ups and downs. We have made mistakes, yet we remain together. Recently, when our anniversary was upon us, we talked about why and what our relationship is, and means. We both feel we are as strong as we are because of our chosen lifestyle: D/s. It is a journey. The relationship between us a living thing. Love needs tending. It needs thought and touch. It needs the everyday small things. There are few arguments in our house, because we both accept our roles within our relationship. When you accept that, there is little to fight about. In our case our life needs discipline, strictness, pain, honesty and above all else, it needs trust. tim’s trust and belief in me is at its strongest now, I think. It is a fine line, this place of Dom/boy/husbands. Yet, it can work. You both must want it and you must both be headed in the same direction. Our destination is the horizon. After ten years you’d think things and feelings would wane. Last night tim, was tired. I put him to bed with his natural calm and some reading. He fell asleep and when I returned, I settled him down. I lay with him, holding him to me. He pushed back and moved in my arms, telling me of his desire. Wiggling … still after all these years. Those feelings still strong between us. I whispered, “you need to sleep, boy.” There was a small sigh … Doms hate sighs! But I couldn’t help but smile as he snuggled back and replied, “Yes, Sir.” All is right in my world. I hope it is in yours. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas/Holiday Season and a joyous New Year.