I know I’ve said this before; I always wanted a marriage like my parents have. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t be traditional, given the fact I am Gay, but I wanted it all the same.
As I hung with friends, played baseball and hockey, went through school, I came to realize I was often assuming a dominant position, and often asked to lead. It was sort of a natural thing. I ended up in school taking criminology and socio-legal studies, and received my degree. I went on to become a police officer and eventually a detective.
While I was still a uniformed officer, I accepted who I was: a Dominant Sadist. I read and spoke to people and dipped my toes into the world of BDSM, and D/s. I met John, a friend and mentor who was also a cop at the time.
I learned more and dated. Submissive men were attracted and attractive to me. Yet it was an unsettled life. The boys came and went. I still wanted to find, him—the one.
I’ve written about that before, meeting tim.
We have been together now for ten years, married for nine of them. We have had ups and downs. We have made mistakes, yet we remain together.
Recently, when our anniversary was upon us, we talked about why and what our relationship is, and means.
We both feel we are as strong as we are because of our chosen lifestyle: D/s. It is a journey. The relationship between us a living thing. Love needs tending. It needs thought and touch. It needs the everyday small things. There are few arguments in our house, because we both accept our roles within our relationship. When you accept that, there is little to fight about.
In our case our life needs discipline, strictness, pain, honesty and above all else, it needs trust. tim’s trust and belief in me is at its strongest now, I think. It is a fine line, this place of Dom/boy/husbands. Yet, it can work. You both must want it and you must both be headed in the same direction. Our destination is the horizon.
After ten years you’d think things and feelings would wane.
Last night tim, was tired. I put him to bed with his natural calm and some reading. He fell asleep and when I returned, I settled him down. I lay with him, holding him to me. He pushed back and moved in my arms, telling me of his desire. Wiggling … still after all these years. Those feelings still strong between us.
I whispered, “you need to sleep, boy.”
There was a small sigh … Doms hate sighs!
But I couldn’t help but smile as he snuggled back and replied, “Yes, Sir.”
All is right in my world.
I hope it is in yours. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas/Holiday Season and a joyous New Year.