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About this blog

Melancholic words to dampen your spirit

Entries in this blog

School Security 2007

How would you like to attend Gig Harbor High School, in the overly pretentious bedroom community of Gig Harbor, Washington?   Well, maybe you might want to check this out.   It seems the parents of one of the students contacted the Dean of Students and

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

My life sucks

I went to the doctor on Friday and got my release to go back to work, effective today, but I

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Fabian

Have you ever listened to the ads on your local radio station and wonder if anyone was actually there?   Tonight, as we were heading to our favorite Mexican restaurant, the station played an ad for the local daffodil festival, which just happened to occur today. They were expounding on the Grand Floral Parade encouraging listeners to flock to downtown Tacoma, Puyallup, Sumner, and even Orting. The ad was completely worthless; and, who wants to go to Orting? They practically closed the town thi

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Saturday and Bored

I will be so glad when I get back to work. The past three and a half months have been totally not fun. The truth be known, I've always had a tendency to poo-poo co-workers with sprained joints for all their complaining about not being able to do anything. I mean a broken bone is definitely something bad, but a sprain? Come on, the word doesn't even sound bad. Broken bone, torn ligament, bruised tendon, now those sound painful and probably deserve a get well card, but a sprain, or even worse, a s

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Tenacious

Last weekend the wife and I were out in the front flower bed pulling dandelions. Mostly, I think, because they

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Sad

We went to see my mother today; or, rather, we ended up seeing the body that used to be my mother. She

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

This is okay

We went to visit my mother yesterday and she was okay, just a little off center. She actually recognized the wife, something she hasn't done since the episode that put her in the nursing home. Then she said I could sell my house and move into hers since I'm still off work and am having a bit of a financial struggle. I said everything is okay and I don't need to move back to the family home.   Today, my son went up to visit and take the items on her shopping list. She thought he was me. He said

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Out of the depths of despair

It had to happen eventually. I simply had to wait for the right moment, the right set of circumstances.   Until early Friday morning (like about 00:30 in the morning), I hadn't written anything of significance for too long. More importantly, I hadn't gotten any appreciable distance into a story for the Spring Anthology. Then it all came whooshing out and a story, a workable story inline within my proposal, started to filter out of the dismal depths of a very serious bout of depression.   No,

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Muddled

I know I've said it before, but I hate being depressed. I'd give anything to be better, truly better, not this muddled, lethargic feeling I have now.   Okay, I'm not suicidal. That's a plus, I guess. Three doses of Wellbutrin a day and I'm not suicidal. I'm not too creative, either, but with all antidepressants, you have to take negatives with the plusses. Prozac erased my libido. Celexa eliminated erections. Everything works with Wellbutrin, except creativity.   Two doses a day and I'm more

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

No words

Okay, I haven't written much more than nothing. I'm beat and I haven't done anything, not that I can do anything. I'm sleeping too much, then taking a nap because I'm too tired to do anything else.   Strange thing is, I don't feel particularly depressed, although being super lethargic and not giving a flip about anything is a classic symptom. Maybe it's just that I'm getting settled here, after all it has been nearly two months since I've been grounded. Or, maybe, just maybe, it's the three do

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

So close, and yet, so far away

I'm currently at 17 pages (5,300 words) on The Pastel Cowboy, which is okay, but I need at least another 6 pages, or about 1,000 words. It's going quite well, but not well enough as far as I'm concerned. It's been a real slog getting to this point and I didn't get as far as I wanted along the story's timeline. In fact, barely two weeks have gone by when I originally wanted to go nearly three months. I don't like writing in the micro, but events in Zach's life at this point are occurring rather s

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Flight to Syracuse, Chapter 2

I finished Chapter 2 of Flight to Syracuse and got it posted to eFiction this morning. The boys are on their way, but have a slight detour to get away from one of David's brothers.   I was thinking about the old TV series, Route 66, the other day and how Flight to Syracuse might end up being something along those lines. Well, when you consider half of the cast of Route 66 was gay, even though that did not come out (silly pun) in the storyline, it might work with my story. Well, my boys don't h

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

On the upslope

My depression is cyclical. Up and down, up and down. The psychologist I was seeing a couple years ago said I probably wasn

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Four more weeks

I went to an orthopedic surgeon on Tuesday and he said to come back in four weeks, not to do any exercises or physical exertion, and definitely don't go to work. Four more weeks of doing what I've been doing for the last four weeks, except not going to physical therapy. Rest my wrist for four weeks. If it's not better, then he'll do an MRI and see if there's a tear that needs to be repaired.   The long and short of it is that I'm very depressed, so depressed I'm actually trying to remember to

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Not Guilty!

It had to happen.   Eventually, your number comes up and you got to go.   I did my civic duty yesterday and answered the request for jury duty at our municipal court. The only other time I

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

From the Dark Side . . . Wasted

Early this week, probably Tuesday night, I was watching an episode of CSI: Miami when I experienced something I haven't experienced in quite a while because I don't watch television when I'm on the road. Oh, I catch a program or two in trucks stops, but I don't have a television in my truck so whatever entertainment I utilize comes via the internet or what I have saved on the laptop. Anyway, this particular episode triggered a shot of adrenalin quickening by pulse, changing my breath rate, and t

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

Not taking the cold exit

Another night of too much tequila, too much spicy food, a killer giant molasses cookie, an orange, and a couple slices of buttered bread, makes for a restless sleep. The really bad thing about doing this shit is everything tastes so good. It

CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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