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My Little Corner Of The Universe

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Starting Over At 30

I joined GA over twelve years ago when I was just 17 and still in high school. If I think back to that rock bottom point in my life, I would never have imagined then that I'd come to enjoy life as much as I do now. I honestly never thought I'd make it to now, on the brink of turning 30. The last time I wrote a blog entry on here was in August of 2019, a time in my life that was so immensely exciting and filled with never-ending hope for the future. I had met and fell deeply in love with a boy, h

TetRefine in Blog

November 23, 2021

1

10 Years of GA & How It Changed My Life

Yesterday marked my official 1 decade membership here on GA. I still remember that terrified 17 year old kid coming home from school that day and finally deciding to create an account in secret. I met a lot of great people those early first months on here, back when Chat was still a thing. Most of them are long gone now, often randomly disappearing without a trace back into the real world. I think that has been one of the weirdest experiences of my time on the internet, and especially GA. You go

August 29, 2019

3

Some GA Nostalgia

I've been a member of GA now for almost ten years, which might as well be a lifetime in the internet. I was 17, closeted, confused, and was just looking for any kind of escape from the miserable existence of high school in a small town. I met so many great people in those early days through chat, where I would stay for hours talking about anything and everything with whoever was in there. I learned to refine my debating skills in the old Soapbox, where ironically I was one of the most vocal cons

May 9, 2019

0

A Shifting Life

I had probably the most enjoyable Thanksgiving ever last week. For the first time I didn't spend it with family, and instead did it with friends. I wish I had figured out how much more enjoyable it was doing it this way sooner, but better late then never. My boyfriend lives in New York, so Tuesday after work I hopped on a train up there to spend my Thanksgiving break with him. He had to bring his mom to the airport that night, so I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time and we had din

November 27, 2018

3

Goodbye, My Love, Part II

Part I Here Goodbye, My Love, Part I When I wrote part one, I was at a critical juncture in my life. I had just come back a two month vacation in China and Thailand, which was very indulgent, to say the least. I was just beginning graduate school, and I was studying for a pre-licensing exam. Both doing well in grad school and passing that pre-exam were going to be my ticket to career success. I was partied out from my vacation, and determined to do as well as I could in school. A clo

June 2, 2018

4

The Gayborhood is Dying

The last couple of weeks, my gym here in the city has been under threat of closure. A few months ago, the building was bought by a New York real estate company that has a track record of demolishing older structures and building condos. The building sits right in the heart of the Gayborhood here in Philly, which in turn is located in the heart of Center City. There has been a huge influx of luxury apartments being built the last ten years, like any other big city in America. I guess it was only

January 26, 2018

3

How PrEP Changed Gay Sex, Anecdotally

So the topic of sex is absolutely fascinating to me, especially gay party/hookup culture in big cities. Anybody who has read my previous blogs can see that. I've been both a passive studier and active participant over the years, and I've gotten a pretty unique view of it all. A good friend of mine once said, "to understand gay men, you need to understand the messy emotions and politics of sex." Now I realize that my experience (and his) as gay men is very much ones that have taken place inside a

December 16, 2017

2

Goodbye, My Love

Well, the time has finally come. We've flirted with going our separate ways multiple times in the past, and several times have actually broken it off for various lengths of time. Yet, somehow against our better judgement, we always find our way back to each other, and after our absence the passion for you burns as hot as a blue flame in me. I seemingly forget all the things I hated about you and the stupid choices I repeatedly made under your influence. No matter which country I meet you on, and

October 12, 2017

17

What Makes America Great

Today, on the last day of school, we had several special visitors taking a tour of the building. The school I teach at specializes in non-native English speakers, recently arrived immigrants, refugees from war zones, and other historically under-served minorities. The amount of racial, cultural, ethnic, and linguistic diversity is staggering. This coming year, we are expanding to include a classroom strictly for kids who have just recently arrive in the US and don't have enough language and cult

June 21, 2017

6

What's It Mean To Be Young & Free?

It was was Saturday night, and I was going to meet up with a few friends later that night. We didn't plan on meeting till around 11, but by 9:00 I was getting restless so I decided to head out early and start on my own. My first stop was at The Bike Stop, which is a VERY dimly lit leather/cruising bar hidden away in a back alley. It's one of those places where all kinds of stuff goes on in the dark corners. I have a drink and chit chat with the bartender, who I sort of know from the gym. He's a

June 3, 2017

8

Yeah, Time To Grow Up

When I first got my current job teaching, I decided this was going to be an ultimatum year. I had decided that if I didn't like teaching at this new school within the first couple months, I was going to leave education for good and sell my soul to corporate America for a bigger paycheck. My college background isn't formally in education, but my work experience at various teaching/mentoring jobs before was enough to get me in the door to teach temporarily. I liked doing it, but wasn't really sure

March 15, 2017

7

Flash Of A Gone Lifestyle

2016 was really one hell of a good year for me. My life was thrown for a tailspin at the end of 2015, so I really was forced to get myself together in a way I had never really had to in my young adult life. One thing I learned, and now fiercely value and protect, is my independence. I relied way too much on other people, and put all my eggs in a basket I couldn't control. When that basket fell and all the eggs cracked, I was left with nothing I had before and had to rebuild. I've come to realize

January 6, 2017

7

I Missed Out On Progress

I guess I'm lucky enough to have been a child of the 90s and 2000s. I came of age right as the country's attitude toward homosexuality was undergoing a massive forward shift. Although I am still old enough to remember when gay men were portrayed as 2-d stereotypical characters with a total lack of depth or humanness. I grew up with a pretty negative image of gay men, and it contributed to a lot of self-hate, depression, and loathing that took a long time to get over. A couple weeks ago, my b

October 27, 2016

5

Called A Faggot For The First Time

Today I had a belated first of sorts. For the first time ever, I was called a 'faggot' in a disparaging way. I've always been easily able to pass off as straight, so I've been able to avoid really any direct harassment for being gay. I think too that a lot of (especially straight) guys feel more comfortable around me because they view it as "he's gay, but he's not THAT gay". Its stupid, but just kind of how it is. Anyway, I had gone to dinner with a friend in the Gayborhood, and we were wal

July 22, 2016

15

The Year Of Newness

2015 kicked my ass, but I've now come to realize I'm better for it. I lost my job, had very little money, and I could see my relationship of 6 years crumbling. So I did what just about every gay man in his 20s does to cope, and turned to partying and Grindr to help me get away from it all. Predictably, it all ended in disaster that even a blind man could have seen coming. I knew it was coming too, but didn't want to face it. To make a long story short, by Christmas I was single for the first tim

June 24, 2016

6

New York City Dreamin'

I got a new job. It pays better then the last one I had (so thats a plus), but there are also a lot of drawbacks to it also. First off, its across the river in New Jersey, and there is no train connection near where I'll be working. That means I have to keep the expense of having a car, paying for gas, and the tolls every day to cross the bridge. I also HATE driving. Its even worse because its in heavy traffic both in the morning and afternoon commute. At my old job in the city, I hoped on a sub

August 31, 2015

6

Duggar Diddles Kids & Uses Ashley Madison

You can't make this shit up. A man who pretended to stand up for conservative family values has been outed as a child molester, and now using a website to cheat on his wife. These people are such a fucking joke. http://gawker.com/family-values-activist-josh-duggar-had-a-paid-ashley-ma-1725132091

August 19, 2015

10

152 Years Ago, The United States Was Saved From Breakup

Today, July 1st, marks the beginning of the three day clash that is today known as the Battle of Gettysburg in 1863. For those of you not up on American history, Gettysburg is a small town in the northern state of Pennsylvania. The Confederate Army's move into Pennsylvania was it's first (and only) attempt at invading into Northern soil, as the war up to that point had taken place primarily in Virginia and Maryland. Long story short, over three days of incredibly bloody fighting, the Confederate

July 1, 2015

23

Thank A Teacher

So this past week was Teacher Appreciation Week, and I think it is all very important that everybody thank a teacher that really taught you something valuable. The very fact that you can enjoy reading on Gay Authors all stems from an early elementary school teacher showing you all the skills and techniques of being an effective reader. The fact that so many of you can write wonderful, sweeping, complex stories all began with learning how to write basic sentences in preschool, kindergarden, and 1

May 11, 2015

9

Sometimes I Like To Wander Around Like a Stranger

Sometimes, on certain days like today, I like to wander around Center City pretending I'm a complete stranger to this place and seeing it for the first time. I take random turns down streets without looking at their signs as if I have no idea where I'm going. I try to look for little details in the surrounding buildings that I've never noticed in order for them to seem new again. New and shiny like that first time I stepped foot in this city when I was 18 in October of 2010. I try and recapture

April 10, 2015

1

My Love/Hate Gym Relationship

I love the gym. Its the place I go at the end of my day where I expend the last bit of energy I have and it never fails to leave me on a high when I'm finished. It has given me a focus and discipline like few things have ever given me before at times when I sorely needed it. It has done wonders to my own self-confidence and body image and given me more social confidence, and not to mention helped get me laid more than I thought I would ever get. So what the fuck is there to dislike about somethi

February 17, 2015

3

Sharing A Stranger's Misery In Penn Station.

There was a guy, maybe 25 or 26, clean cut and well dressed, who I noticed leaning up against a column by the waiting area, with a look of absolute desperation on his face. I discreetly moved closer to him to see what was going on, and all I hear is "baby please don't leave me" before the line on the other end of the phone goes dead. He looks at the screen, and it's clear the call is over before his plea ever got answered. He lowers his head against the column and quietly begins to sob right in

October 30, 2014

3

There Are No Children Here

So I haven't been around much on here lately, and I've neglected talking to people on here who I really do enjoy talking to. Anyway, life has been insanely busy the past month after I got my new job, as well as pretty damn stressful, but it's also been a lot of fun. As many of you know, I got a job as an Assistant Teacher at a school in a rough, ghetto section of Philadelphia. I work with first graders, many of whom come from the typical broken home scenario that infects ghettoized neighborh

October 8, 2014

6

How Long Till It Feels Like Home?

So I've been living here in my new place in the "new" city now for a month and a half. Everything that was new and exciting before has become routine and comfortable, and no longer has that "oh wow, this is so different" factor. And that I think is a good thing because it makes daily living more comfortable. Riding the subway, driving in insanely aggravating bumper-to-bumper traffic every morning, going to a new gym, living in a very dense neighborhood, finding new places to shop, etc. have all

August 14, 2014

5

Old People Can Be Really Funny Sometimes.

We often expect old people to be stuffy when it comes to humor, but today that stereotype was thrown out the window. Now that I've graduated, my school has cut off my gym privileges so I've had to start going to a local gym around the corner. I go in the middle of the day, so its basically only old people and college kids there at that time. It was 95 degrees today and so humid you could feel the water in the air. It was miserable. Anyway, after I got done my workout I went into the locker r

June 19, 2014

7

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