Now, I generally highly avoid talk of politics, racism, or religion...
Let's be real here. China and India have MORE than 1 billion people each in their respective countries, dwarfing just about all other countries.
English is third, Spanish is second in languages spoken worldwide, and Chinese is FIRST.
In the US, Caucasians are becoming the minority. They are being vastly outnumbered by those of Hispanic and African lineage.
WHY is that such a scary thing when most of the children are mixed anyway? When we ALL are technically mixed down the line, anyway???
If we weren't, we would all have quite the medical and mental conditions, wouldn't we? I mean, inbreeding's always been a great risk.
I just feel so disheartened having worked in this kind of environment for so long.
God doesn't see race, politics, or wealth.
I grow weary of hypocrites that preach unity when they're the ones in perpetual fear.
Yes, the church provides great help to the community.
They reach out to the poor, they feed the hungry.
But, those in charge are also great cowards.
I will do my best for my community for this, my final year here.
After that, I seriously have to consider if my Faith and core beliefs are worth putting on a facade of support.
...and find out just how jaded I am at this point.
What is Thirdly?
B. Compulsive Stalker Spy
C. Glutton for Trauma and Punishment
D. All of the Above
*drags hands down her face in exasperation*
So, every now and then, I either end up inheriting some kind of technological device from another person...or someone logs on to something while using one of my technological devices...
AND I END UP SEEING THEIR PRIVATE LIVES FLASHING BEFORE MY EYEBALLS
I understand why it's a running joke for everyone to say things like "clear my browsing history if I die" or "burn the black bag full of adult paraphernalia under the bed before my parents get to it, should both me and my partner die at the same time" it's a legitimate fear of complete and utter embarrassment. Sometimes you can share with close friends (and even online friends) some obscure private things and there is no shame in it. But, the moment a close family member comes into play...there is shame for life. For life.
And I understand that. It's like that horrible moment when you happen to catch your parents going at it...it doesn't matter how old you are, it's downright traumatic.
All of that aside, I live for secrets. If anyone tells me something they want to remain a secret, they just have to say the word and I will take those secrets to the grave. My cousins call me a "tomb of secrets," though it's usually in an angry tone because I didn't fill them in on those secrets.
I am also a snooping Pandora. I mean, ever since grade school, I was always used as a messenger of "note passing" between friends or two crushes...and it wasn't because they trusted me not to open those notes. It was because I read them and didn't divulge those contents to anyone else. My lips were sealed.
But, here's the thing. I don't purposely seek these things out. I'm not a thief in the night. I'm not a hacker.They just kind of cross my path. For example, when I was given an electronic device that still had all the pictures and videos in it or when an entire gallery is open and visible for anyone to see.
If it practically falls on my lap, I am not going to let it sit there with the lid on, I'm opening that box!
I am then both relieved and contrite. On the one hand, I am instantly informed about that person's personal life and whatever brought them joy/amusement/pain at that particular time. On the other hand, I have to play it off as if I'm still ignorant of that person's private life.
...and that's how I came across some disturbing things about a couple of people who were practically like siblings to me at one point. Had they trusted me like my real siblings (their parents) do and told me their versions of the matter, I wouldn't have opened Pandora's box and ended up traumatized for life.
I have issues. It's like I'm a glutton for punishment. The whole snooping thing is also in my DNA. What separates me from those two ancestors is the fact that I refuse to pass that information on for the whole family to spread about like wild fire.
I just internalize it, freak out, and write a blog about freaking out...
...because I'm taking what I saw to the grave with me.
If curiosity killed the cat, I can't even count how many times I've survived death.
To any of you that enjoy using the application "Tapas," or frequent the website "tapas.io," I've been slowly uploading all of my work (even my collaborative work, with permission, of course) there. It's under Thirdly. Tapas has a more strict-ish setup for stories, so I have had the incredibly gargantuan task of CENSORING everything. 😱
For example, for Lust and Chastity, I had to "clean up" the smut down from NC-17 to rated R not once, but three times over per chapter. I know for a FACT that it's still not clean as the chapters should be. But, I have been doing my best to comply. Do any of you remember a chapter where Finian was apparently covered in cum TWICE before ever even crossing over to Zirao Zion? Apparently, it happened.
If any of you have Tapas, I ask that you take a peek at Lust and Chastity for me and let me know if I did a decent job of it.
I dread going over the Galamin chapter...I have to change it all to traumatic torture without pushing that rated R too hard. *drags hands down her face*
Wish me luck.
I started with LC first because it only has 19 chapters.
I think I might break down crying when I start trying to censor Kidnapping is Always an Option. If I ever get that far, I'll probably update this post with my complaints.
Alright, so...anyone who's chatted with me for a while knows about my not-so-closeted obsession with Rainbow Brite and Unicorns (not necessarily in that order)...and all things colorful and 80s related.
I JUST came across these guys...girls? Do they even have an assigned sex, because I heard some moms bought them for their SONS to play with...
Yes, yes those are anthro unicorn dolls with glitter horns that poop RAINBOW SLIME. With mock-80s style shirts (Oopsie Starlight has a Journey shirt with the lyrics 'Don't stop believin' and Rainbow Brightstar is all of my childhood embodied into one singular creation). Here's to hoping they don't get sued before I get my hands on one of them because, yes...
*whispers in a conspiratorial tone of voice* I just ordered one of them from Walmart. They're mystery packaged, so I have no idea which one I'll end up with.
Now, excuse me as I go skip about in glee while singing Brand New Day from Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer.
The five year old in me is disturbingly pleased.
Felipe Neto and His Sage Advice
In the midst of some stressful situations, I came across a stand up comedy by a Brazilian Youtuber, Felipe Neto (though it was thankfully subtitled in English). I sometimes watch stand up comedians because their anecdotes remind me that we all go through some crazy shit in life regardless of our backgrounds.
Now, Neto is a goof. Some of jokes were more easily grasped culturally by his fellow Brazilians than others, but I chuckled at most of his deliveries. Then, he veered off into different subjects that he was passionate about and delivered his anecdotes in a TED-talk fashion.
I wanted to share some of what he spoke about:
There is only one real self-help advice that really changes your life...
Uncover what your fears are.
Face your damn fears.
The fear I'm talking about is the following:
Think about who you would like to be...
Where you would like to get...
Your goal, your dream.
That dream that is so deep inside of you that you even avoid commenting about it with others because, only speaking of it, it seems like you are trying to accomplish it and you don't want to fail.
Why are the vast majority of people not on the path that leads them to that dream?
I guarantee that there was a fear in their path which the person decided not to face and, instead, chose an easier route.
Find out what that fear is.
Give your best attempt!
Life gives us a way out.
Inside each of us is a big red button that only we can press.
That's the "Fuck it!" button.
And the moment that you face that fear and are defeated by it...press the red "Fuck it" button and try again!
If there's one thing I want you to leave with, and take with you for the rest of your lives, it's a question.
A question I want you to ask yourself forever.
When you lay your head on your pillow, remember me, and this question:
"What am I doing to conquer my fears?"
-Felipe Neto, from My Life Makes No Sense
I was invited to this site by @Rambling Robin a few years ago. I didn't even know that such a forum existed and the rich diversity of authors it contained. Though we are not on the same page for everything in life (as few people are, regardless), both Robin and I realized that we wrote as therapy and as a means to entertain ourselves and to take breaks between our hectic work, university, and home lives. I am grateful that though we butted heads on many occasions, especially in our early beginnings, Robin never cast aside our friendship and we were able to compromise until the point we've reached today. We are now inseparable sisters-in-arms and I look forward to not only our own future collaborations, but also her other collaborations (Maddam Redder also writes amazing work) and her own personal works (Prophylaxis, Catching Tavo, Saving Ezra, Feeling Lucky, and all the ones that she's been itching to write but hasn't had the time to yet).
I am also grateful to each and every author/member on this site...those that have steered us in the right directions in regards to the website and postings, those that have enjoyed our silly collaborations and my own silly tales, those that post regularly in the different forums (including games!), and last but certainly not least, those that have shared their own amazing stories and written work. I know that I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of all the amazing stories that are on this site. But, I am eager to read more (especially when my life settles back down to one job, that will be amazing)! I'm not going to name any names, because it would quite literally take up this entire blog post. But, I refer to every person I've ever interacted with.
I sincerely thank everyone for the warm welcoming, the patience, and thoughts...which are as richly diverse as we all are. 💜