Tonight a rare astronomical alignment that has not occurred in centuries will appear in our skies.

Tonight is the winter solstice, a lunar eclipse and a blood moon.

It is thought that this rare astronomical convergence will trigger a Zombie Apocalypse.

In the event of a zombie apocalypse, don't get depressed. It's your big chance to smack your obnoxious neighbors in the face with a shovel.

Use weapons that are as silent as possible as noise attracts zombies. Inflict as much head trauma as possible to decapitate zombies.

Avoid getting bitten or scratched at all cost.

If you feel a strong craving for brains, avoid Walmarts. Target shoppers have more brains.

In the event that no zombie apocalypse occurs, carry on. There is always 2012. BUH-wa-ha-ha-ha