Seriously, can I?

Okay, I bet you're all wondering why I'm not really active. I have my reasons. The post is a repost from my blog on Authors Haunt, and is kinda late coming here since I am in some SERIOUS amounts of pain and I'm waiting for the nice pain killers to kick in.

I really am. Okay, so I have a lot to talk about, let's see if I can remember everything that I have to go over yes?

 

Okay, let's start with my National Novel Writing Month entry, Crimson Shadows. I have finished writing and editing it and have since started posting the story.

 

It is the first story in a small series called The Shadows Play Ground and is in 2 arcs. One arch is set in 3010 and the other is set in 3012. I am posting a chapter a week on Wed and that makes me happy about that. People seem to like it and I scared my poor beta. She has learned not to work on my stuff in the middle of the night...during a storm.

 

I apparently write stories that mess with ones mind. I feel accomplished since that was my goal.

 

A little back story on this story and why I used a porcelain doll in the first story. They freaked me out for many, many years. I mean I could not look at them. At least until I was like...13. By then I had watched the one movie where the clown doll came to life and there was a portal in the closet. And I can't remember what it was called now. ><

 

I still HATE, and I do mean HATE clown dolls with a fiery passion. I can't read It because of the nasty in it.

 

So this was kinda my way to show that yes, my fear was perfectly rational for a kid with a wild imagination.

 

To move onto the next subject, my writing in general. I am currently rewriting A Butterfly's Dream into past tense since I can't seem to keep it in present. It's annoying me to death and my time line is screwed over in the actual story so I'm fixing that to. I have started plotting for the other two stories that will be connected.

 

When I first started to write ABD, I never thought that another one of my characters would become so important to the story, nor would there be any more stories. I was wrong. Me and a friend, MTpictures for you guys, got to talking about our characters on Y!Gallery and then later we started talking on MSN. From there, it evolved into my character, named Rye and Clary's ancestor (his history will be explained eventually), and her character, named Son'Arrin and another character named Nicodymious, all getting together into a happy (or as happy as a broken demon, a blind seer dragonling and an immortal human guardian can get) threesome.

 

That spawned the first story in this series, series named A Butterfly's Life, story called A Butterfly's Dance. The second story is A Butterfly's Dream, which is in the works and finally A Butterfly's Flight will end it all, at least for this series. The Shadows Play Ground continues the line of thought with David popping up in the last few chapters to help things along.

 

Now, to note, A Butterfly's Dance will revolve around Rye and his long life and how he became the perverted pain in my arse he is now. A Butterfly's Flight will happen two years after Dream, making David 18 so that's the information for that stories and I hope you continue to read. Mind you, since David is under the age of 18, there will be nothing more then some kissing in Dream, but there will more then likely be some sexual scenes in Flight, and there will be sexual scenes in Dance since they're apart of Ryes life and the story is all about him and his experiences.

 

Conversations, I'm working on slowly. Writing one on Punctuation but I'm having a hard time writing it so that it doesn't sound wooden but is interesting. Fun to read. And easy to use for future usage. It's being a pain in my arse, it really is. I have a full list of things that I do want to write for this list, but it's slowly coming together once I get to that point.

 

To note, I do write a lot of fanfiction, mostly for Bleach, Transformers and Naruto. I have two main stories going on that have been taking over my mind since one is mostly het (territory that I have not explored for 10 years) and one has a complicated plot that I'm laying the ground work for. I AM working on my originals, but they take a bit more time due to the fact that I want to get those just right. That and I'm more picky with my originals then I am with my fanfictions.

 

One more note for my originals, you'll notice that my Beta'd By line has changed from Beastie to DarkAngelDisuke. I have no idea where Beastie is...and I couldn't wait for him to pop up to start editing my novel so I asked Dark-chan to help me since we know each other from Y!Gallery and a beta club that is very helpful. She's a doll and has helped me. I noticed that if I write is past, less mistakes. As for Beastie...I have no clue. So I'm going to continue to move on and hope for the best...and hope he gets a hold of me some day. I fear that college has eaten his time and that's understandable

 

Not mad, mostly curious really. I got mad last year during December.

 

Anyways to move on, I have been dealing with quite a bit of physical problems lately. I am, unfortunately, overweight and that has been messing with my joints for years. It started to get much worse last June, 2010. I ended up in a lot of pain one night, so much so that NOTHING could help. I tried heating pads, ice pads, the massaging head on my shower (its new and it's a water saver) and pain killer (such as Ibuprophen, and some major ones from the time my wisdom tooth got yanked). NOTHING worked. I called an ambulance, get a shot in my thigh and sent home 5 hours later drugged, with prescriptions and happy.

 

I figured it was me just doing to much. Not so. It happens again, in August of 2010. Again, I tried everything including the big pain killers and nothing worked. Once more, I'm off to the ER. Once more, I get a shot. This time, I get to take an x-ray. Nothing is found. Off I go home with prescription and happy as a clam.

 

I end up back in the ER in late December. Another x-ray, a pill of percocet and some time sitting in a chair that does nothing for my back.

 

Early this March, it hits...again. This time I'm in so much pain I'm crying and sick to my stomach. I am clinging to one of those pink things that they give you when you're like that. I sit in the waiting room with my mother, since this time I was just about ready to rip someones head off and use their neck as my bowl, I am lead into a room. Where I get an IV stuck into my arm and the nice nurse try to get blood. My veins roll and are on the small side...so that's not going to happen. But I do get a nice saline bag shoved into my body to help with the stomach problems, somewhat, and soon after, a pain killer and anti-nausea added to the line.

 

After that, I do the potty thing and get shipped off to get a CT scan this time. That hurt my back and annoyed me in the long run. Went back to my room and slept on and off until around 6. While me and my mother wait for my nice ride home, I get sick while in the bathroom washing my hands.

 

I pity who ever had to clean that up. >< Sorry person I don't know!

 

Anyways, due to this shit, I'm still dealing with pain in my back, sides and ribs, BUT it's also pushed me to joining the Lap-Band program. Meaning, in about 6 to 9 months, hopefully, I'll be going in for some surgery, get a nice little band put around my stomach and have a tiny stomach. Because that's what happens for the most part. It's gastric by-pass without the permanent aspect of it.

 

My body needs this and will save me a LOT of pain.

 

Another problem that has come up is my carpel tunnel. I have a minor case in my left wrist and a more serious case of it in my right wrist, due to me writing with my right wrist. So, I'm doing commissions and the such to raise money for a new brace that I can wear. I hope to get this arthritic brace that would work wonders for me.

 

Not all news with me is bad. The Lap-band is a good thing. I've also gotten into a few plots that are rather dark in nature, including one that I'm calling 'My Personal Therapy', I'm talking often with my lovely sister (not blood but still close), and me and another friend are about ready to post our first story collaboration. Which is awesome since we have one rp that is more like a series instead of one long ass story. And we have several other stories writing. *shrugs*

 

My mom is part of the Lap-band program to and she's going to do it first. Which is seriously a god send since she can't exercise like she should due to her own physical problems. *hugs her*

 

I've moved my room around (that was fun) so I'm much happier not sleeping under my window.

 

I am plotting what I'm going to do for the Free For All this August and then the Nightmares anthology this October. I have a general idea.

 

My friend and fell chibi, Zora, is sending me music, which makes me squeal like a little girl because she has some MAD music-fu going on. She can get you past a writers block with the right music. And she has a collection that makes ones mind boggle. I have discovered a new love for Asian Gung Fu Generation and Aural Vampire and one song called Hey There. Trust me, I love every moment of it. *nodnod*

 

I have more readers then I have every before and someone is actually interested in Honey Drops which covers some things that will make people twitch, have sex of all sorts and will take aliens and myths in a barely seen direction.

 

I love it!

 

On top of that, I'm doing better with my long battle of depression. I have more up days then down, but still more apathetic days then I like. But it's getting better.

 

Okay, now that I've told you what's been going on in my life...I am awed that you sat through all of that! I really am!

 

My life sucks and I know that. And I thank you for reading about it along with the good things. :3

I'm happy that my stories are so loved but it's dampened by the fact that I'm dealing with some major physical problems, as described below, along with other physical aliments that I deal with daily, i.e. carpel tunnel, bad hip, knee that likes to give. The usual problems that come with having a body that hates you because you put it through hell during your younger years.

My back pain apparently crops up if I do to much bending over.

Lovely. I won't bend, but I have to since it's time to shop for food and my mother is dealing with some wrist and arm problems that make it hard for her to pick up heavy items (i.e. bags of sugar, flour, frozen family sized dinners). Means I HAVE to bend over and pick things up.

I want to cry now and I don't cry! I really don't.

Why? I'm to damn apathetic half the time to actually cry.

Okay, that's my update. I'll try to be more active you guys, really.