Hmmm...

I have been told this A LOT lately. You can't choose who you have feelings for. Just try to figure out what it is that you excactly want. This could be an indicator that you are not in the relationship with the right person. Or it could mean that you just spice up your life with daydreaming.

I'm not the best advisor though. I let go of a ten year relationship since it just didn't make me feel complite and I was constantly wanting something else. The amount of unhappines I had been hiding inside came clear only after separation. Now I'm happy - mostly. I still have unrequited feelings and that is just a bitch to live with.

The only thing I can do is to tell you from my own experiences. I plucked 2 phrases from your blog :

I had once thought that I could love my old friend, but I dared not try it...

Yet, I feel like he's the guy that I truly wish to be with...

Dont regret anything ! Your feelings are Gold for you. You live the life you want; you have dreams you will probably never live, but dreaming is also life.

Make the best of your today situation, enjoy what you have, and at the same time enjoy your dreams.

I'm sure you were happy to write this blog !

BTW, as an answer to Manda : to have unrequited feelings is NOT a bitch to live with.

To Bob - It is not? How do I make it easier then? I think it is something that everyone experiences differently. I don't dwell on it 24/7 but it does hurt when I really allow myself to think about it.

I never had any idea you felt that way W.L.!

To Bob - It is not? How do I make it easier then? I think it is something that everyone experiences differently. I don't dwell on it 24/7 but it does hurt when I really allow myself to think about it.

Just a quick answer : and at the first moment, you are right.

I remember, I was 19 and I "played seriously" with the thought of suicide. But a little later (just a few weeks), the feelings about my unrequited love became bittersweet, and some years later, my crush was long fergotten but, even now, I remember with tenderness all this story, from the first encounter till the bittersweet end. This, amongst many others, is one of my beautiful memories of a long, eventful and happy life.

Love is hard to deal with; it isn't something you can just turn off or throw aside. I thought that I had left those feelings, but I guess I was lying to myself.

I still talk to my old friend, he's still as arrogant and fiery as I remember. The oddest thing is that I am not attracted to him, but I know I still love him. Does that actually make sense though?

When I dream about a guy that I'd be in bed with; it hasn't been him for years. Yet, when I dream of living a life with a guy; it's usually him.

I am already in a relationship and should be happy, but the more I fight it, the more those old feeling resurface.

There are three sides of me in this mess: The lover, the dreamer, and the fool.

Great post.

Love is complicated and we seldom have control over our most intimate of feelings. However, the things we do have control over are the decisions we make. I think if you are having trouble sorting our what should or shouldn't be, try to remember what is. You've made a decision to be with your current guy and if you know it in your heart that it's not feasible to be with this other person, then stand by that decision and don't waver in "what ifs".

There are three sides of me in this mess: The lover, the dreamer, and the fool.

Who is speaking here (which side of you) ?

The lover and the fool for the most part. The dreamer has been kept out of the conversation.

The fool might believe in false dreams and the lover might desire him. However, as long as I maintain the knowledge of reality; I can be responsible for my feelings despite how I feel.

I am an odd man, because my nature is to be optimist and dreamer, but I hold them back to be practical.

I like your answer very much . You are a wise man, despite your age .

I wish you to keep your wisdom "alive" in the course of all your life. To be optimist and dreamer is a real gift which will make you happy (believe me, I'm the same and it helped me a lot, day by day).

To Bob - It is not? How do I make it easier then? I think it is something that everyone experiences differently. I don't dwell on it 24/7 but it does hurt when I really allow myself to think about it.

"Make it easier ?" Bittersweetness is something you will enjoy when you get older. To remember bad experiences ist often very positive, much better than the experience itself