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Accepting oneself

old bob

Entry posted by old bob

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How time flies.... My last blog is already 2 months old. At that time, I felt superior, giving advices all around and flattered by all the positive comments that responded to my blogs.

 

Today, I see the months passing, with too many days of work hard to bear, and my fatigue increasing day by day.

I'm apparently no more the same as I was only months ago.

Most of my momentum, which came from my feeling of always having the same strength as I had 30 years ago, is slowly disappearing.

On the one hand, I regret it and I'm worried for those awaiting the results of my work, but on the other, I feel happy to let me go, to stay longer in my chair, without doing anything, just dreaming about the world around and about myself.

 

About myself ?

 

Who am I ? What is my personal assessment ?

 

Physically, my strength muscle and my short term memory decrease a little more each day.

On the other side, I remember more and more memories of a distant past and I know better how to manage my time and take breaks when I feel the need.

 

Morally, I feel obliged to worry about the legacy of past mistakes but I accepted once and for all that both good and evil exist.

So all my actions, good and bad, have both a sense and are both useful.

I acted for the good and for evil and I feel fully responsible for all my actions, good and bad.

 

In my dreams, I relived my past, all my actions, good or bad, watching the movie of my life, analyzing each image and giving it a rating, as my teachers did it at school.

In all religions, belief in life after death is accompanied by a heavenly way to court. The good and bad deeds are weighed and the balance determines the fate of the dead.

All these religions are foreign to me. But anyway, if there is really such a court, I think I will be both the judge and the accused ! So my ratings could be a good preparation for my appearance in court !

 

Several important advantages in accepting oneself :

First, we know ourselves better, we know our limitations, physical and moral,

next we accept that others have the same limits,

And the most important : we can forgive the mistakes of others because we forgive ours

 

Interesting dreams, isnt it ?

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rustle

rustle 2,426

Posted

Beautiful dreams, Bob. They hold a lot for all of us to think on, especially those of us without firm religious beliefs, who follow our own moral compass.

 

It's always good to hear from a gentleman such as you, who has seen so much. Take care.

  • Like 1
Arpeggio

Arpeggio 2,742

Posted

Aw, really inspiring. Thanks for sharing that. <3

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Marzipan

Marzipan 968

Posted

You have a philosopher's heart. I like reading your perceptions of life around you and how it reflects on you. Interesting indeed. :)

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Toast

Toast 1,951

Posted

I enjoy dreaming too.

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K.C.

K.C. 6,418

Posted

Your words always touch me and make me think. We are better people for you sharing your thoughts with us! Thanks Bob. Thinking of you often!

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MikeL

MikeL 2,841

Posted

Thank you for your moving words...a real tribute to life. We all would be much happier if we could master the art of forgiveness. Sweet dreams, Bob.

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Nephylim

Nephylim 15,053

Posted

I think one of the greatest things about your blogs and general comments is that they always make me think. This time i am thinking a lot... about my life and limitations; about my spiriuatlity and beliefs and about others. No one defines my morals but myself, but i have fallen into a habit of expecting others to have the same and being disappointed when they don't. You are a wonderful example of someone what has balance in their life and that leads to a kind of peace that can only come with understanding and acceptance.

 

I went through a period a few years ago when I faced the darkness in me, fought it for a while and then accepted it. Life has been richer since and, I think, I have been a better person... go figure.

 

I think that at your age you deserve a break. The disappointment of others is not an issue for you now. They know your situation and your limitiations. If they are relying on you then more fool them; they should know better. As I have told you before you have to live your life to your strengths and weaknesses and do what's best for you. If you need to work then work, but as soon as it stops fulfilling that need then pull back.

 

If the time has come to put on your slippers and take your pipe out onto the porch to watch the sunset then do it and to hell with anyone else... you deserve it.

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old bob

old bob 321

Posted

Neph, what a nice comment :worship::worship: twice.

 

But my mood is changing like the tide following the moon phases.

I dreamt a few weeks, and now I'm well rested :great:. Day-dreaming will have to wait, work is in the spotlight again.

I cann't any more imagine myself in slippers sitting in a rocking chair and watching the sunset. The pipe is the only thing that suits me, unfortunately I had to promise my wife to slow down my smoking until I am clear about my cancer, that is, until October ! It only remains for me to smoke my pipe in secret, at my desk and in front of my PC-screen !

So the Old Bob is back again, strong and ready to conquer the world, at least for a few weeks, until he will disappear again :D.

As I said once, I'm a young old chap and my statistical life expectation increases day by day. "Provided it lasts" as the the roofer said, falling from the 147th floor of the skyscraper :P.

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