Okay, first off, thanks for all the positive replies to my first entry! I must be getting sentimental in my old age, but it means a lot to me that those who are/have been perfect strangers can find something in my scribblings to comment on. I'm not the sort of person who stands out in a crowd, and don't want to. I let others be the centers of attention while I sit back and watch--not from detachment or lack of interest--but because it's who I am.

Last year I found a copy of my high-school yearbook on ebay and bought it, thinking there might be a picture of me in there--there wasn't. For the life of me, I don't know how I never got a senior picture, or one in the only club I was in--Art Club for four years. I think the last school pictures I have copies of were from 8th grade...and some polaroids my sister took of graduation day with me, my best friend, and the German exchange student I got to be friends with. I won't even bother getting a copy of my college one, as I know there won't be any pictures in there.

If there was a This Is Your Life episode on me, it would run about five minutes, tops. I have friends, yes--and they are very good ones, but not numerous: the adage 'quality over quantity' applies to me in that respect. I was surprised to find a homepage on Facebook about my home town, and one of the people there told me that my 1st Grade teacher still remembers me and speaks nicely of me! She was probably my favorite teacher of all time. Some other people there I knew also, and it was nice to find them again, but I won't go to a high-school reunion because the few I was close to won't be there due to distance or alas, being no longer with us.

I guess this is just a melancholy weekend for me--inadvertantly started by a chapter I wrote in Jay & Miles, but then continued by stumbling across two other writers: rustle and jkeele, who both have written about losing partners, and a new friend--magicstate--who found me, but with the same emotions. Finally, pmdacey's latest chapter brought things to a head with his protagonist's coming to grips with the loss of his mother and finding a way out--or so I hope!

With all this, I shed tears, thought about the things I read, and can take comfort in them, and deal a little better with my own losses. I still won't like my birthday since that is when I lost my mother in '07, and my oldest sister this year.

But now, the good memories can outweigh the loss.