Kevin, I can relate to pretty much everything you said in this post. You're going to be fine. Better than fine, in fact. But you knew that already ...

Kitty

Kevin,

If that wasn't a depressing blog I don't know what is. It wasn't bad in anyway, if anything it was too honest. lol I'm going to say what I've been wanting to say for a while now, but never actually type it. And now that it's not at all "appropriate" for this blog, I'm going to say it: you make me smile. Nearly everytime I read your blog or one of your comments for that matter, I have to smile. You say your not really needed here, that may be I have no idea. But I don't think that's true. Everyone who participates here has something completely different to offer. Your comments always seem to be right on noggin' and very well stated. I can definately tell your Soc. degree .

I know exactly what you mean about friends drifting away over time. I've been out of undergrad for 10 monthes now. Since then I've talked to exactly 5 of my "close" friends and none on a regular basis. Really is kind of depressing when you stop and think about it. I can understand one of my friends, we were really close and now we live on opposite sides of the country and he really has troubles with goodbye. Pisses me off to no end that his way of dealing with pain is to cut people off, but what to do.

I don't know what to say except that you're going to be fine. After college I moved several hours away from home, started over, made a few close new friends and am still alive. You're going to do great and have a blast at the same time! I mean really, if you consider the "terrible" problems you have in bars **insert jelous sigh** , I'm sure your going to have absolutley NO problem making new friends. My best advice would be to make some new hobbies so that you can meet new people there. Make a "niche" for yourself. Go out for some team sport/league, take a pottery class (throwing clay is fun!), join a book club thingie...do those really exist??

Sorry, I really didn't think this was going to be ANYWHERE near this long! Hope your mood lifts for the weekend! OH! Did you have a good day off the other day??? Do anything fun? Take Care and I hope youre weekends great!

- Kaiten

Hi Kevin,

I think you've just described how I've felt most of my life. I can relate to everything you just said, with the exception of the "easily replaced at work" comment - they're just beginning to realise how difficult that will be .

When I went to University I moved 30 miles from where I had been living and had plenty of people I knew there already. I made good friends during my first year and kept in contact with old friends, but then, during the second year, we all began to drift apart. There isn't a single one of them I talk to now and quite frankly not a single one I would try to contact again. You have to accept that some friendships come with a "sell by" date and when that date passes the friendship gradually dwindles into oblivion. It's sad, but as people grow they change, their priorities change and they begin to realise that people they previously had a connection to are now virtually strangers to them.

Once you start work, friendships can be difficult to maintain. You work hard every day and when you get home you rarely feel like going out to meet people. Unless your friends are living right on top of you, or are online, it's difficult to maintain contact with them. I'd love to say that things are going to change when you move, but there's no guarantee of that. You'll meet new people and form new friendships, but a close friendship takes work and a lot of the time, through no fault of your own, it's difficult to find that time.

You're going to be ok though mate. You're a great guy and someone I think most people would be honoured to call a friend.

Now, just one other thing - quit the crap about not being missed on here if you weren't around. I can't speak for others, but I would really miss you. You're a great guy, you always put a smile on my face and it's always a pleasure when you're around. Things may be changing in your life, but you always have your family, your friends may be further away but they're still there and this place isn't going anywhere. Keep smiling mate - things really will work out.

Rob

xx

Do You ever just look around suddenly and realize you don't know how you got somewhere? And worse you really don't know where you're going? You could add to that and why

All the time, or if not all the time at least on a monthly basis.

The other doozy is je ne regrette rien - regret nothing. That's twaddle too. I'm always thinking 'oh I wish I'd...' or 'oh I wish I hadn't...' That's life.

I don't know quite what I'm trying to say here. Probably it's 'Have a good sleep and it'll all be ok in the morning.' A platitude that works for me most of the time.

Camy

Kevin,

the coming months are a new beginning..scarey, fun, interesting, a new blank canvas to paint life as you wish..except the good thing is you have created and developed amazing life skills in the last few years..You are going to be fine and wonderful and think of it as an adventure..Sort of like Mary Tyler Moore tossing up your hat in the middle of the town square as you know you are beginning a new life and ain't it grand:)

Besides which you have your online family of friends to chime in..not to mention your own family will visit...I am sure that you will have college mates visiting and I have read a number of times you want to get closer to your female cousin that you believe is a Lesbian..what better way to say to her, come on and visit for a few days and bring your girlfriend....(this way she knows you know and its natural and cool) and then tell her if you feel safe and comfy that you can all get to some cool gay spots and maybe they can help you scope them out as you scope out the hot guys:) and potential boyfriends.....and say it in that amazing kind natural way you have about you with your wonderful excitement and joy of life and optimism that makes you extraordinary and pretty cool:)

Michael

Sort of like Mary Tyler Moore tossing up your hat

In other words:

"You're gonna make it after all!"

AFF-

The constant in life is change. The trick is.. well crap. I don't know. :wacko:

Stay sweet and good things will happen for you. Just don't quit and don't give up.

-JS

The constant in life is change. The trick is.. well crap. I don't know. :wacko:

Go with the flow?

Have fun with it and see where it takes you?

All of a sudden I'm hearing Peter, Paul, and Mary singing, "to every thing ... there is a season ... turn, turn, turn ... and a time for every purpose under heaven."

(that's taken from Ecclesiastes, BTW.)

Kitty

Kevin, I can relate to pretty much everything you said in this post. You're going to be fine. Better than fine, in fact. But you knew that already ...

 

Kitty

Aww thanks Kitty! .....I have felt much better the last couple of days. Was just a lousy mood one evening

Anyway take care and have a really great day

Kevin

Kevin,

 

If that wasn't a depressing blog I don't know what is. It wasn't bad in anyway, if anything it was too honest. lol I'm going to say what I've been wanting to say for a while now, but never actually type it. And now that it's not at all "appropriate" for this blog, I'm going to say it: you make me smile. Nearly everytime I read your blog or one of your comments for that matter, I have to smile. You say your not really needed here, that may be I have no idea. But I don't think that's true. Everyone who participates here has something completely different to offer. Your comments always seem to be right on noggin' and very well stated. I can definately tell your Soc. degree .

 

I know exactly what you mean about friends drifting away over time. I've been out of undergrad for 10 monthes now. Since then I've talked to exactly 5 of my "close" friends and none on a regular basis. Really is kind of depressing when you stop and think about it. I can understand one of my friends, we were really close and now we live on opposite sides of the country and he really has troubles with goodbye. Pisses me off to no end that his way of dealing with pain is to cut people off, but what to do.

 

I don't know what to say except that you're going to be fine. After college I moved several hours away from home, started over, made a few close new friends and am still alive. You're going to do great and have a blast at the same time! I mean really, if you consider the "terrible" problems you have in bars **insert jelous sigh** , I'm sure your going to have absolutley NO problem making new friends. My best advice would be to make some new hobbies so that you can meet new people there. Make a "niche" for yourself. Go out for some team sport/league, take a pottery class (throwing clay is fun!), join a book club thingie...do those really exist??

 

Sorry, I really didn't think this was going to be ANYWHERE near this long! Hope your mood lifts for the weekend! OH! Did you have a good day off the other day??? Do anything fun? Take Care and I hope youre weekends great!

 

- Kaiten

Hey Kaiten!

Thanks for your warm post . I'm sorry if my blog brought ya down . I am feeling much better now, I'm sure a good part of it was that I hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before, it was starting to get late, and I was just grumpy lol.

That sucks about your friend who moved away . Have you read the latest chapter of DD? LOL reminded me of that with hating goodbyes.

I'm glad to hear you've settled in so well in your town . You know those are really good tips! I've really been wanting to play a little baseball and soccer the last couple of months. I wonder if I could find a non-competitive league. That pottery idea sounds like quite a bit of fun too. A few weeks ago I had the weirdest urge to stick my hands in something mushy and gunky and just try to create something, but I didn't really know where to go for that, so I think I just did some cooking instead . LOL actually I kinda feel like this site is my "book club"

I did have a good weekend, thanks Nothing too exciting but it was restful and pleasant. I hope yours went great too! On my day off last week I just slept really late then did some shopping, came home and cooked a little. It was nice

Anyway thanks for the reply and have an awesome day!

Kevin

Hi Kevin,

 

I think you've just described how I've felt most of my life. I can relate to everything you just said, with the exception of the "easily replaced at work" comment - they're just beginning to realise how difficult that will be .

 

When I went to University I moved 30 miles from where I had been living and had plenty of people I knew there already. I made good friends during my first year and kept in contact with old friends, but then, during the second year, we all began to drift apart. There isn't a single one of them I talk to now and quite frankly not a single one I would try to contact again. You have to accept that some friendships come with a "sell by" date and when that date passes the friendship gradually dwindles into oblivion. It's sad, but as people grow they change, their priorities change and they begin to realise that people they previously had a connection to are now virtually strangers to them.

 

Once you start work, friendships can be difficult to maintain. You work hard every day and when you get home you rarely feel like going out to meet people. Unless your friends are living right on top of you, or are online, it's difficult to maintain contact with them. I'd love to say that things are going to change when you move, but there's no guarantee of that. You'll meet new people and form new friendships, but a close friendship takes work and a lot of the time, through no fault of your own, it's difficult to find that time.

 

You're going to be ok though mate. You're a great guy and someone I think most people would be honoured to call a friend.

 

Now, just one other thing - quit the crap about not being missed on here if you weren't around. I can't speak for others, but I would really miss you. You're a great guy, you always put a smile on my face and it's always a pleasure when you're around. Things may be changing in your life, but you always have your family, your friends may be further away but they're still there and this place isn't going anywhere. Keep smiling mate - things really will work out.

 

Rob

xx

Hey Rob!

Thanks for the words of wisdom. I think you've really got a point; sometimes people are only really compatible as friends at one particular stage in their lives . I guess I just am in a much different place than alot of my old friends now. Heck half of them are getting married and/or having kids, and while I'd like to do the settling down thing, obviously I'm not there yet.

It's also so true what you said about just not feeling like going out and meeting people when you get home! It seems like half the nights I get home all I do is change into some comfy clothes, whip up a little dinner, and then just lounge around until bed. I actually promised myself that once I moved I'd get out at least 3 nights during the week and hopefully weekends. I'm hoping maybe with just having work and not school as well I'll feel more like some excitement. And anyway sometimes I do WANT to go out and can't because I really ought to stay home and take care of school junk . LOL you're definitely right though, the internet is the easiest way to stay in touch with people!

Thank you so much for your kind words Rob, I really appreciate it , and I hope now that they realize how much work you've been doing all along they treat you much better for your remaining time!

Have a really awesome day and take care!

Kevin

Do You ever just look around suddenly and realize you don't know how you got somewhere? And worse you really don't know where you're going? You could add to that and why

 

All the time, or if not all the time at least on a monthly basis.

The other doozy is je ne regrette rien - regret nothing. That's twaddle too. I'm always thinking 'oh I wish I'd...' or 'oh I wish I hadn't...' That's life.

 

I don't know quite what I'm trying to say here. Probably it's 'Have a good sleep and it'll all be ok in the morning.' A platitude that works for me most of the time.

 

Camy

Hey Camy

You're right, I did feel better in the morning.

I try really hard not to regret my past or long too much for the future, but sometimes it is difficult. I mean I've actually really enjoyed my life and I have no complaints. But every now and then I stop and think how I could have had even more fun then if I'd done things a little differently. Like I wish I'd actually tried to learn French in High School instead of just studying for the test and forgetting everything 5 min. later (it was insanely easy but I probably coulda still learned and retained stuff if I'd put forth the effort). I wish I'd focused more on my personal life and less on my school/work life that second year I was in college. and just other random stuff. Mostly I guess I can't say I'd really want to "change" anything, because everything led me to where I am now, and dispite my whiney last blog, I really am happy with where I am now

Oh one other thing, have you checked out "do over" and "redo" by dkstories? I haven't started redo yet because I'm sorta waiting until it's all there so I don't have to face the cliffhangers, but do over was excellent and it was very much along those lines (changing your past).

Anyway take care, Camy, and have a really wonderful day

Kevin

Kevin,

 

the coming months are a new beginning..scarey, fun, interesting, a new blank canvas to paint life as you wish..except the good thing is you have created and developed amazing life skills in the last few years..You are going to be fine and wonderful and think of it as an adventure..Sort of like Mary Tyler Moore tossing up your hat in the middle of the town square as you know you are beginning a new life and ain't it grand:)

 

Besides which you have your online family of friends to chime in..not to mention your own family will visit...I am sure that you will have college mates visiting and I have read a number of times you want to get closer to your female cousin that you believe is a Lesbian..what better way to say to her, come on and visit for a few days and bring your girlfriend....(this way she knows you know and its natural and cool) and then tell her if you feel safe and comfy that you can all get to some cool gay spots and maybe they can help you scope them out as you scope out the hot guys:) and potential boyfriends.....and say it in that amazing kind natural way you have about you with your wonderful excitement and joy of life and optimism that makes you extraordinary and pretty cool:)

 

Michael

Hey Michael!

Thank you so much for the great advice. I think you're right, it will be a fun adventure in the coming months. And I guess it is true that this is a chance for me to start over, but retain the knowledge and experience I already have. I'm definitely looking forward to the move. It's just the getting there that's the tricky part. There are so many little things I have to take care of first, plus all the packing and unpacking, but I think you're right; I should face it with the best attitude possible and hope for the best.

I'd love to have my cousin come stay for a few days sometime, but I'm still really not sure at all about the lesbian thing. It's just speculation on my part. I think I've only even met her friend(?) 3 or 4 times, and not for long intervals, so it's haven't gotten to see them interact much. It's just something I thought based on other circumstantial evidence and the way she talks about her. I do miss her, we used to be very close as kids, now I see her maybe 3 or 4 times a year. hmmm, I think I'll call her and try to arrange a little lunch get together sometime soon, really that is the only time we visit . The last two times we've gotten together it was when I decided it was time we met for lunch. Of course that's not her fault, she doesn't drive (isn't it silly that she's 20 and can't drive!?....but that's another topic), and lives an hour away.

Anyway thank you very much for the kind words and good advice

Have a teriffic day, and take care

Kevin

In other words:

 

"You're gonna make it after all!"

 

Hey Glomph

LOL it's so funny you guys should bring MTM up! I almost quoted Mary and Rhoda in that blog I made recently about not knowing how to let some down easily. That one episode where Mary's trying to get out of meeting with someone:

(I'm paraphrasing but I think it went like this)

Mary: "yeah I guess I could tell him I'm going out of town, I mean that's not a lie"

Rhoda: "how is that not a lie?"

Mary: "I'll go!"

Rhoda: "Gee Mary, you're the only person I know who'd rather leave town than lie."

LOL I was going to use it since I ended up having to leave the town.

Anyway have a great day and take care, and you're right; I think I will make it after all

Kevin

AFF-

 

 

The constant in life is change. The trick is.. well crap. I don't know. :wacko:

 

Stay sweet and good things will happen for you. Just don't quit and don't give up.

 

-JS

Hey James!

Aww thanks

I think I'm doing a little better with change. I used to resist it as much as possible, but lately I've been trying to just go with it, and even enjoy it. It's still a little sad to think about how some things can just never be the way they used to be. But I guess that doesn't mean new things can't be just as good in their own way. I realized a few years ago that it's the process of change that I tend to resist, once the change is complete I tend to like it and go with it. So this time I'm just going to keep reminding myself I'll probably be happy with the outcome in the long run

Anyway thanks! and have a really amazing day! Take care,

Kevin

The constant in life is change. The trick is.. well crap. I don't know. :wacko:

Go with the flow?

Have fun with it and see where it takes you?

 

All of a sudden I'm hearing Peter, Paul, and Mary singing, "to every thing ... there is a season ... turn, turn, turn ... and a time for every purpose under heaven."

 

(that's taken from Ecclesiastes, BTW.)

Kitty

Was that Peter, Paul, and Mary? I was thinking it was the Byrds. Anyway it doesn't matter, it's a great song and excellent advice!

You know I had no idea it was taken from Ecclesiastes until my graduation ceremony from High School! It was a Catholic School so we were having a mass, and one of the girls I was graduating with got up to read that passage, it was funny. I was mostly listening all along, but very "casually", all of a sudden she started saying those words and I thought, "what's going on? Why is she quoting a song instead of reading the Bible?" Then I realized it was IN the Bible, but I kept getting thrown off expecting the next lyrics instead of the actual Verse.

Anyway thanks for the advice Kitty! I will just try to go with the flow . LOL thanks for the trip down memory lane too

Have a fantastic day and take care!

Kevin