1 minute ago, MichaelS36 said:

Contrary to popular belief, I smile often. However I do not suffer fools. But your post is smile worthy. 

I think you have plenty of reason to smile. Still, I'm glad I could bring one to you.

7 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

First, I do not abuse. No decent Dom abuses. Abuse is not love and I love my sub.

 

I control tim by telling him what I want. It's quite simple.

 

He obeys because it is what I want and its his nature to please. Again quite simple.  

 

I do use denial of pleasure.

 

M

No insinuations, just want to clear that point, because there has been a misconception between BDSM and Sado-masochists. Practicing BDSM does not mean we operate under pain, or creating pain.

As for denial, there are a lot of games that goes with it too. That's what I mean by conditioning your sub. It's a Pavlov trigger.

The more I read this thread, the more curious I'm getting. I know I would not be comfortable with some of the D/s aspects, but as I mentioned earlier, at home I'm pretty much a submissive person. I tend to put my Partner, Family, Roommates, needs and wants before my own. However, the one time, I let someone in, and trusted them fully, they screwed me over. I have serious issues because of that. Out in the Real World, I'm very Dominate. Volunteering for assignments at work, or back in college, and would be pissed if people didn't hold up their end, and was very vocal about it. If you follow Astrology, my Sun and Moon symbols, are both Aries.

Currently single, and not looking, so I know that limits any options I have to look into this.

45 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

The more I read this thread, the more curious I'm getting. I know I would not be comfortable with some of the D/s aspects, but as I mentioned earlier, at home I'm pretty much a submissive person. I tend to put my Partner, Family, Roommates, needs and wants before my own. However, the one time, I let someone in, and trusted them fully, they screwed me over. I have serious issues because of that. Out in the Real World, I'm very Dominate. Volunteering for assignments at work, or back in college, and would be pissed if people didn't hold up their end, and was very vocal about it. If you follow Astrology, my Sun and Moon symbols, are both Aries.

 

Currently single, and not looking, so I know that limits any options I have to look into this.

My Sun sign is Cancer and Moon sign is Gemini, my moon sign makes me versatile and my sun sign makes me empathetic.

I'm single as well, but it doesn't mean I am a Monk   There are a lot of guys who enjoy the lighter aspects of BDSM even without the restraints and continuous control that relationships offer. At its heart Role playing is an important part of the experience, you do not need complete trust in that, just two people willing to partake.

On 5/27/2017 at 8:21 AM, MichaelS36 said:

Still LitLover, I don't believe, and you are welcome to ask him, that tim chose to be a submissive. I think it is simply his nature. And like other creatures with symbiotic (mutualism) natures there isn't a choice, it is simply what we are.   Some I suppose do choose, like for sex, it's a bit of fun to be tied up and submit.  

 

But for us it is everyday, in all we do and are. 

 

M

Would it be okay to characterize your relationship as one with a power dynamic. There's nothing wrong with that concept, it's been in existence for thousands of years across sexual orientations and genders.

Being a versatile myself, I find one position or mode of mentality difficult to maintain and equally less fulfilling for me as time goes on. At times, I want to trust my partner with the lock and key, in others I want him to trust me with it. Giving orders or performing those orders both appeal to me.

Another complexity in my relationships, when we get to the point of exploring this part of the relationship, it is difficult to meet each other's needs or my needs specifically as I find many men are stuck in one mode of behaviour with little deviation (you may have differences in public versus personal life, but it is hard for guys to be sub or dom if not used to it), true switch/versatile guys are harder to find than ambidextrous.

21 hours ago, W_L said:

 

Would it be okay to characterize your relationship as one with a power dynamic. There's nothing wrong with that concept, it's been in existence for thousands of years across sexual orientations and genders.

 

Being a versatile myself, I find one position or mode of mentality difficult to maintain and equally less fulfilling for me as time goes on. At times, I want to trust my partner with the lock and key, in others I want him to trust me with it. Giving orders or performing those orders both appeal to me.

 

Another complexity in my relationships, when we get to the point of exploring this part of the relationship, it is difficult to meet each other's needs or my needs specifically as I find many men are stuck in one mode of behaviour with little deviation (you may have differences in public versus personal life, but it is hard for guys to be sub or dom if not used to it), true switch/versatile guys are harder to find than ambidextrous.

Yes it is about power. And I'm greatly relieved you find it's acceptable. 

I wish you well with your hunt for a switch. 

M