MDBCs 20 Apr 2023

Entry posted by sandrewn in Bread Crumbs 627 April 20, 2023

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April 20th 2023 - Holidays and Observances

(click on the day for details)

Christian feast day:
- Agnes of Montepulciano
- Beuno
- Johannes Bugenhagen (Lutheran)
- Theotimos
- April 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)
420 (cannabis culture)
UN Chinese Language Day (United Nations)

Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)

Chinese Language Day

College Student Grief Awareness Day

National Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day

Jay Park’s Birthday

***

Our salesman at the electronics store was pitching a high-definition television. A fellow shopper, overhearing the spiel, mentioned that he'd upgraded his regular TV to high-def.

"How'd you do that?" my husband asked.

"I dusted the screen."

***

A woman walked into the elevator tossing her keys up in the air and catching them. After one too many tosses, she dropped the keys, and we watched as they disappeared into the crack between the open doors and the floor. I felt terrible for her.

Or I did until she cried, "Oh no! Not again!"

***

Two American tourists are driving through Wales. They decide to stop for a bite to eat in the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogo- gogoch.* Baffled by the name, one of them turns to a local and asks, "Would you please say where we are—very slowly?"

The Welshman leans over and says, very slowly, "Burrr-gerrr Kinngg."

*We kid you not! The 3,000 people in this community on the island of Anglesey must spend hours writing their return address.

***

A garden center customer picks up a container of insecticide and asks the salesperson, "Is this good for red ants?"

"No," says the salesperson. "It'll kill 'em!"

***

My diminutive aunt Flora, just four feet, nine inches tall, accepted an offer to visit a health club for a free session. After being greeted heartily, she was shown where she could change and told an instructor would soon be with her.

Having changed her clothes, Aunt Flora went back to the exercise area. Along one wall she noticed a silver bar that was not in use, and decided to try her hand at chin-ups while she waited. She jumped up, barely reaching the bar, and managed to strain through two chin-ups before the instructor came to her side.

Smiling politely, the instructor said, "If you want to let go of the coat rack and follow me, I'll be glad to help you get started."