Well, I did it. I went out on a limb and I did something that I might or might not regret. I guess I'll find out for myself soon enough because I already sent the email off and there's no way to get it back I won't say what I did, because if it doesn't go how I hope it does, I think I'll be crushed, and I don't want people to see that side of me. Sometimes I don't know why I'm scared to take chances, even though in the end I know I'm going to do it whether I'm scared or not. That's just how I am. Not knowing what would have happened if I hadn't have at least tried is worse to me than trying and not making it. If it doesn't go the way I hope it does, at least I can say I went for it. I'm still nervous.

***********************************************************************************

Well, I got What's The Difference Between Me and You? cleaned up. I merged some of the chapters and I have about 75% of it edited by Talonrider. I'll get the rest of it done soon enough, then I'll be posting only edited chapters. Speaking of that, Talonrider started yesterday on My Jump Off, and he got chapter eight back to me today, so I posted it. I'll have the first seven chapters reposted and all cleaned up in no time flat .

I'm already half way through chapter nine, and I'm feeling pretty good about my writing again. I think I just felt a lot of pressure for some reason, and now I know how silly I was being. I just need to relax and remember why I write....because I enjoy it. If I ever stop liking it, I won't do it anymore.

So anyway, if it seems like I'm crankier than usual (is that possible? ) it's because I'm starting to get really serious about what I'm doing here. If I stay on the efiction page forever, I still want my stories to be the best they can be. In fact, I want them to be the best at this site. I mean, it's going to be a challenge, but to be honest, I think I can do it. I have a lot of learning to do, but I'm not going to just settle down and say,"well, that's it. I have a few good stories and now I can stop growing and learning." I think it sucks when writers do that, and I'm not talking about anyone in particular, but the truth is, I can name some.

I think part of being able to enjoy writing stories is being able to relax, too. I mean, no drama at home. Lately my dads been on my butt about a few things he wants me to do around the house before we go to Cali, and I was putting it all off. So I got it all done yesterday, and I feel stress free(at least as far as that stuff goes). Today I just hung out with Taylor at his place so we could be alone for a change. it seems like no matter what we try to do, we get interupted. If we try to sit alone in the backyard, someone comes out there. If we try to hang out here, someone calls and wants to get together. If we go somewhere like the beach or the mall, we run into someone we know. If we go online and try to read a story, someone IM's us..lol. So today we just went to his place after we knew his parents were gone to work and we kicked it in his pool. Then it got cloudy, then it started to pour.. So we went back inside and just chilled out and listened to Cd's. I've been listening to a lot of old Santana, but we listened to the Eagles today, and when the song Tequila Sunrise came on, I thought about what I talked about in the beginning of this post.

So now I'm home and it's still ugly outside. Taylors actually doing a driving lesson in the rain with his dad, and I wanted nothing to do with that..lol. I'm going to look at chapter nine of My Jump Off and put on my Santana CD and see what flows out of my twisted mind for Jarred

By the way, I posted a lyric to the right from Tupac Shakir. I'm thinking about trying to write a short story just based on that lyric alone. I think it'll be fun to see what I can come up with.

Kisses

Nick