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Unbearable


NickolasJames8

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Well today I had enough.....my cousin James has crossed a line that I don't think he can uncross. I actually started this blog entry by saying that I wanted to have him jumped, but I'm not going there right now because I'm so angry with him that I'm afraid I'd go through with it.

This moron has his own apartment, but for some reason, he keeps sleeping at home in his old room and I think he's doing it to make me crazy. He has something smart to say about everything I do, and if he doesn't get his way, he pouts and crosses his arms and throws a hissy fit. I can't believe my dad and stepmom are putting up with him!!

Since the last time I made an entry about him, he's only gotten worse. He was with my dad and stepmom one night when they picked me up at work and asked me where I wanted to eat, so I said Smokey Bones. Well, he stayed quiet the whole way there, then when we got there, he got out of the car without saying anything and stormed off like he was pissed about something.

When we got inside my dad took James to the side while me and my stepmom waited to be seated. The next thing I know, my dad's back without James and he tells us that we're going to Silver Diner instead!!! I mean, it doesn't matter to me where we eat at, but you should have seen how this jerk was pouting and acting like it was the end of the world that we went somewhere he didn't want to go.

So we leave and the whole way to Silver Diner he had this self serving. sh*t eating grin on his face that made me sick to my stomach. When we got there I ordered some French fries, a grill cheese and a chocolate shake and he got a burger and fries and a coke or something. Anyway, he saw what I had and got jealous and started pouting again, so my dad orders him a grill cheese and a chocolate shake and has them box up his burger!!

That's just a small sample of the crap he's been pulling. I heard him on his cell phone telling one of his friends that he was getting an Avalon...an Avalon!!! This son of a bitch should be riding a bike for the way he's been acting. So I finally said something to my dad about it, and he got mad at me. Before I could start my second sentence, he cut me off and said I was out of line.

Of course, that just set me off and the next thing I knew, I was grounded from my car. It just pisses me off that he caters to James the way he does. He's not even his real son, but he treats him better than he treats me or even my stepmom. So I've decided that I'm just going to ignore them altogether and act like they aren't there.

I'm sick of acknowledging my loser cousin and my asshole dad, so I've decided not to. I don't care what he does next to manipulate my parents and I don't care what they buy for him. In fact, I hope they go broke buying him everything he wants. I only have to put up with this BS for another two years, then I won't need any of them anymore anyway.

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Oh Nick... :hug: I hope things will get better soon.

 

Two years is a long time, and it seems to me that ignoring them will not help the situation. You need to talk with your dad, but in a way that he would be willing to listen. This is something that would require some patients, and preparation on your part.

 

You mentioned that "So I finally said something to my dad about it, and he got mad at me". Recall exactly what you said and try to figure out what made him mad.

 

Here is something that you can try, but it will take some rehearsal on your part. You need to let your dad talk for several minutes, uninterrupted. You need to come up with a line that would start a conversation. For example, "Dad, last time when we tried to talk about this we got mad at each other, so lets try talking again, but this time I want you to say what is on your mind".

 

You have to wait and really listen to what he says. After he talks for a while, he will be more open to listen to what you have to say. You need to really try and understand him, as if you are his counselor.

 

My guess is that your dad is mad at himself. He probably blames himself that James is so dependent and immature. This bothers your dad a lot. He views this as a personal failure, but he won't admit it to you of course. He needs to talk about it with somebody, maybe with a counselor.

 

If you practice the opening senesce, and practice listening to him, I think you can get to the point where you can openly communicate.

 

Good luck,

Michael.

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Oh Nick... :hug: I hope things will get better soon.

 

Two years is a long time, and it seems to me that ignoring them will not help the situation. You need to talk with your dad, but in a way that he would be willing to listen. This is something that would require some patients, and preparation on your part.

 

You mentioned that "So I finally said something to my dad about it, and he got mad at me". Recall exactly what you said and try to figure out what made him mad.

 

Here is something that you can try, but it will take some rehearsal on your part. You need to let your dad talk for several minutes, uninterrupted. You need to come up with a line that would start a conversation. For example, "Dad, last time when we tried to talk about this we got mad at each other, so lets try talking again, but this time I want you to say what is on your mind".

 

You have to wait and really listen to what he says. After he talks for a while, he will be more open to listen to what you have to say. You need to really try and understand him, as if you are his counselor.

 

My guess is that your dad is mad at himself. He probably blames himself that James is so dependent and immature. This bothers your dad a lot. He views this as a personal failure, but he won't admit it to you of course. He needs to talk about it with somebody, maybe with a counselor.

 

If you practice the opening senesce, and practice listening to him, I think you can get to the point where you can openly communicate.

 

Good luck,

Michael.

Michaels got something there and I have to agree with what he says. There's the possibility that your dad knows what's going on and he hates to be reminded of it.

 

Some people may never open their eyes to see that they are being manipulated. Some may open their eyes to it, but not know how to stop it. Some finally open their eyes and put a stop to it.

 

It's been said before, but I'm going to say it again. Just because James is older and is treated like a son, doesn't mean that your dad doesn't love you any less.

 

Jan

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There is always the nuclear option!!! :devil:

 

It is time to make a stand with this clown.......I'd put die in the shower head, preperation H in the tooth paste.......the possibilities are endless, and very immature.

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:hug:

 

Hey Nick,

 

I'm so sorry you had a crummy day, and it sucks that everyone is ticking you off :thumbdown:

 

I have a theory about James. Perhaps he's "scared to grow up", or generally be out on his own. The sleeping at home instead of his apartment really makes me think that.

 

Anyway I hope everything gets better.

 

Take care and have a much more fantastic day :D

Kevin

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