Bev

Luc

You are one hell of a man, a dad, a mate, a friend, and, I think, even a son. It seems to me that you're right about many things that don't have anything to do with your feelings here, cause you can't be wrong about how you feel.

Rational reasonable thoughts don't occur when you are reacting in anger and out of pain, in defense. Also, just the fact that you know that, while it does put you ahead of the game, it doesn't fix things. And from someone who had to make the same decisions, sacrifices, with her dad when he died, I understand.

As always, I know we don't often, but you know where I am if you need or want to talk, ever. About you, about Sam, about Scott, anything.

Hugs, love ya Luc...

Viv

Hey,

Well all I can say is that I think you're a great person. It's ok to be angry, it's honest and rational and you shouldn't feel torn or bad about the anger that you're feeling. As long as you remember overall and at the end of the day that you're human and a great person the past won't be as overwhelming.

Anyway, more people need to have your strength. Even if you don't see it or you don't think it's there, you're a strong person.

Krista

Oh Luc, you are such a beautiful, IMPORTANT person.

*hugs you close* its good you got that out there, even if you cannot ever tell your dad how you feel i think just talking about it helps. There is nothing harder than being angry or hating someone you also love, and we can hate them and love them and it does make you feel like your the one in teh wrong for feeling that way. I am sure your dad did what he did because that is the only way he knew how to handle that, doesn't make it right and i'm sure he knew later on when it was too late that he made a mistake and whilst he was probably tying to save you from further hassle and torment and having what happened publically reported on it only served to make you feel that you are not important. I hope this somehow helps, we never get to say all we want to the people who hurt us even if you do let them know how you felt it never all gets across, you have spent years feeling that way and it could never be summed up in words and emotion to your dad even if he was still here, but its a start and a good one, it shows your willing to accept that anger isn't unfounded its a part of you because of what happened not because your a bad person and writing this here wont heal the wounds or let you forgivr your dad and let go of the anger you have for him, but hopefully it will help you start to heal a little bit and start to realise you are important, wont happen overnight but its a start *smiles* a good one, all this time i have known you, i have never known you to really talk about what happened, you told me about it in a detached round about way and you danced around the details and dismissed it as nothing and you have never come out and expressed how angry you feel towards your dad, i have seen the anger there but you have never connected that anger to him and i'm glad you are finally starting to, that is the point where alot of things in your life went bad and its not hard to see why they went bad but i know myself its not alwayseasy tos ee that from the inside, i just hope that by starting to look at this you can begin to heal and that youw ont shut it back down.

*smiles and hugs you* and thank you for telling me to tell my dad how i felt before he died, it did help, didn't cure things or heal everything but it did help it was the start of healing and i'm still in the process even now it just takes time and i know itshard that you never got to tell your dad how you feel but i remember john made me write that letter to my mum once a letter filled with anger towards her i didn't know i had and i remember him telling me that we don't always need the right people to hear all we have to say, sometimes we just need to say it, and he is right, sometime syou just need to say it to take steps into letting it go and i know you will get there eventually because i happen to know your that great

*hugs you tight* have rambled now i blame the high temp

Mark

Well mate, I asked and now I've read and I have to say... ... ... Ok I don't know what to say, so i'll say this... what everyone said above me is right dude, but I have to know, what did Scott say after he read what you wrote and I just read and oh my I'm thinking... yeah... ok I'm going to shut up now... Won't make it better but at least I know it feels good to know people care.

I hope getting this off your chest will help you to overcome. Hugs and love.

I have to know, what did Scott say after he read what you wrote

He said,

I can't think of anything else to say....

How could a person not be moved by such a disclosure. It saddens me to hear it until I am reminded that from this comes strength.

Oops, me and my fingers. I'm not sorry though, Luc you really need to get it out and I know just what you mean. It's hard to talk to someone when you can see the look on their face as you talk to them. Hiding behind a screen makes the venerability a lot less venerable.

It helped me when I started blogging and I was finally able to talk about my fears with public washrooms. You know, though who haven't read that blog of my will prob be, WTF???

Anyway, in terms of talking on GA, I think it helps you, and I'd advice giving it up, but I urge you to try to talk to your other half about what you have written so that he doesn't feel like you can't talk to him about anything.

Take care mate and all the best.