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Not ready to age gracefully


I knew intellectually this time would come, eventually. I always thought that I'd be mature about it, accepting my fate with some dignity and perhaps a bit a levity. Actually, that's a flat lie. I was depressed most of my teenage years, and never really thought I'd live to see drinking age, let alone twenty-three. It didn't really hit me that I was going to have a full-fledged adulthood until I was standing there in the sun with my BA in hand and wondered, "Well f**K. Now what?" So worrying about how I was going to accept the slippery decline from my physical peak just wasn't a high priority for me.

 

Until this holiday weekend, when I found four grey hairs.

 

For those that missed it above and to the side, I AM TWENTY-f**kING-THREE. I'm not ready for this shit! I wanted at least another five years before these kind of problems started entering my life. But no, not my body. In fact I should have known my hair would turn traitor. It knows it is my best, most distinctive physical feature, which is probably the single most Hispanic statement I will ever make*, but it is the truth. And like it has been doing every chance it has ever been given, it's warped little personality has spawned a new way to drive me batty.

 

On the plus side, though, in about two years I'm not going to be carded anywhere near as often.

 

There were other events this weekend, shadowed other by this one, including a flight up to visit my sister in Washington state. The flight there and back was fantastic, as both airport and plane was filled with college freshmen, but once on the ground up there I noticed a certain something lacking. Apparently, in Washington horn blasting, creative swearing, and colorful hand gestures while driving are defined as road rage and penalized. This idea is perplexing to me, since you can scarcely cross an intersection, let alone change lanes on the freeway, without one or all three of the above actions taking place. Speeding is considered four miles over the speed limit and fined $75 dollars per mile. If California, hell just Los Angeles county, adopted similar practices, the state would be in the black within a month.

 

And none of us would have our licenses anymore.

 

*In order to illustrate the seriousness of this problem, consider the following quote from Project Rungay. Switch it to masculine terms, and this is pretty much me. My hair is that good.

What is it about Latin women and hair? They treat their hair like it was a second set of tits on top of their head. Something to adorn, draw attention to, play with, and drive the men crazy. You can tell [she] loves her hair. She should. It's gorgeous. Just tame enough to be considered professional-looking and just wild enough to make people wonder what she looks like naked.

6 Comments


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AFriendlyFace

Posted

Well, I'm curious to see it now!

 

LOL, I'll never have this problem. My hair hasn't been its natural colour since I was about 17, and honestly I don't have any intention of having it go back anytime soon. So as I always say, I'll have absolutely no idea when my hair does decide to go gray. Apart from that my family takes forever to get gray hair anyway. My mom is 57 and doesn't have a single one, and my grandmother is 82 and only has the salt and pepper thing going. Unfortunately baldness does run in my family :angry: But if necessary I'll get hair plugs or something. Or perhaps several wigs, I could have a lot of fun with a completely different colour and style every day! Usually I only do that once or twice a month ;)

 

Anyway, I'm sure it is serious, and goodness knows I have my issues with aging. In all seriousness I'd recommend looking into colouring options, if you get it professionally done it can be very gentle on the hair and look GREAT.

 

Take care and have a great day!

Kevin

B1ue

Posted

1. Considered the coloring. I need to be careful, because I really, really like the shade of black I lucked out on.

 

2. Premature greying doesn't run in my family either. Well, possibly on my dad's, but we're not sure. My dad went bald before going grey, and his sisters approached the problem using your method.

NaperVic

Posted

It sounds like you just have some stray greys. Nothing to worry about. If you want, you can just pluck those four out.

 

You should start worrying when they start showing up down there.

 

And grey is still better then loosing it. :D

 

Take care,

 

Vic

Former Member

Posted

It sounds like you just have some stray greys. Nothing to worry about. If you want, you can just pluck those four out.

 

You should start worrying when they start showing up down there.

 

And grey is still better then loosing it. :D

 

Take care,

 

Vic

 

But you do know that when you pluck one grey hair out, four others will come to the funeral :P

 

Tob

CarlHoliday

Posted

Only four? Are you sure you looked everywhere? Gray hairs usually show up in odd numbers, at least in the beginning. Hopefully, yours will come in evenly. I've got splotches of gray on my head and they're definitely off-putting. The stares I get in public are so unnerving I've actually had to get used to wearing a hat. You know, one of those hats farmers and truckers wear. The ones with their favorite college logo on them.

 

What part of Washington State were you in? Around the Seattle-Tacoma-Olympia-Bellevue-Everett metro area, the posted speed limit is actually the minimum you can go without people honking their horns; showing you their sperm count, bra size, or IQ; or, mouthing all sorts of expletives your mother never taught you. In a recent newspaper article, the State Patrol actually admitted their equipment doesn't measure speeds unless the speeder is at least 15 MPH over the limit and even then they're more than willing to give you a good talking to rather than going through the hassle of issuing a citation.

 

Actually, I've found traffic in the LA metro area to be almost like a parking lot. At times, I'm lucky if the big truck gets out of sixth gear and most of the time I'm in low-range for hours. Now, I do admit to having a bit of a problem with all those cars speeding down the breakdown lanes, but I figure they just have incontinence issues and can't be dillydallying around in traffic.

 

Carl :boy:

Lucy Kemnitzer

Posted

These gray hairs are only there to give you a memento seniliti (made up word, in case it's not clear). You won't really turn gray until later.

 

Anyway, that's what I did. A couple early on, then some more much later, and finally an acceleration till I finally bit the bullet and colored my hair red.

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