The other night at dinner, Annemarie was telling us about this show she had seen on TV earlier... The Top 15 Hollywood Tragedies. There was Christopher Reeves who fell while riding a horse and became a quadraplegic, and Bernie Mac who smoked cigars every day for years and died after catching pnuemonia, and Heath Ledger who overdosed, and Kurt Cobain who killed himself, to list a few. She thought it was all very sad, but I stopped her and said that there is a difference between tragedy and stupidity. Christopher Reeves... TRAGEDY! Heath Ledger... STUPIDITY. Kurt Cobain... STUPIDITY!

It's a matter of circumstance, I suppose. Did something happen to you, or did you do it to yourself? I absolutely think that we are fortunate to have been able to have been touched by the talents those people had, and been able to relate to them on some personal level. One of them contributed to great things that have been integral to the existence of someone I know and love a lot. That said, when the person comes to their outcome by their own making and own decision, are they a victim, or a volunteer? When you choose to contribute to your own demise...

So, of course I stopped her and explained tragedy vs. stupidity. I suggested that if she want to see some real tragedy, she should look at the kids who were killed at Columbine High School, or Matthew Shepard.

"Who is Matthew Shepard?"

Look it up...

So, she did. And after many questions and comments and a fair amount of outrage, she asked me the following question.

"Mom, who do you admire?"

I was really surprised that I couldn't think of anyone. I started to wonder if that's because people really just suck that much, or is it because I'm too self-centered? After some discussion and devil's advocate play with Other Steve, I decided that I admire qualities in people, and tend to overlook the person as a whole. No one is perfect, and maybe I just accept everyone for who they are, flaws and all. I suppose if I sat here and thought about it, I could come up with some typical names, like Martin Luther King or the person who invented glasses or the doctor who first figured out how to transplant organs... but honestly, I still can't think of anyone I know. Have known...

Pondering, still...

Viv