If Microsoft Built Cars

[Phantom]

IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd

have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for

no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange

reason, you'd just accept this, restart and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a manouvre would cause your car to

stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the

engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time,

unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd

have to buy more seats.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,

was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy

to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft

upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go

much slower.

7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would

be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

8. People would get excited about the "new" features in

Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been

available in other cars for many years.

9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto

fluids but the packaging would be supurb.

10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size

butt.

11.The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going

off.

12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea

what happened.

13. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel

with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16

cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it

would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford

parts on it.

14. There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it

would be slower on most existing roads.

15. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player

which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play

Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade

to use existingstuff.

16. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't

own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away

Microsoft cars free, including IBM!

17. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN

3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be

able to drive much faster, and on more roads!

18. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could

just borrow your friends, and then copy it.

19. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganise

the ignition for a few days before it worked.

20. You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway

next to each other.

[rknapp]

Number 11 was good lmao.