"Male Impersonators"

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi all,

 

So I absolutely do not mean this thread to be at all offensive to biological females who pass as male. In fact I hope ultimately for it to be affirming. It's something that's been on my mind a lot lately; I thought I'd start a thread on it.

 

-First the case of Dr. James Barry. I actually don't find that wiki link to be nearly as informative as the info I've heard on him (I'll use the pronoun 'him' since that seems to be how this person chose to live his life and what he would have preferred). Basically he was a very famous and successful British army doctor who eventually attained the highest rank possible for an army doctor and led a very successful and noteworthy life. Upon his death it was discovered that he was biologically female. (The wiki casts more doubt on that than I've heard in the past, but I'll concede it's possible he was intersex or that this is all just speculation and he was a 'regular' male).

 

-Second the case of Billy Tipton. Billy was a noted jazz musician who actually married several times and had several relationships with women. Once again it was revealed after his death that he was biologically female.

 

-The third case is a more 'personal' one. A good friend of mine (female) was seeing this guy for over a year. They'd had sex and been very intimate when at last the person revealed that 'he' was actually a 'she'. They ultimately decided to continue their relationship.

 

Anyway, these 'male impersonators' are very resourceful, talented, and convincing (I met my friend's partner and didn't know the difference). I really don't have a problem with this at all. I don't think it's quite the same as someone being a FTM transgendered; however in the first two cases maybe they were transgendered and that option simply wasn't open to them. In the third the person was actually deceiving my friend big time and leading a complete double life. She also identifies as a bisexual female (not male, transgendered, or as a lesbian).

 

Basically I'm also a big proponent in people 'picking' their gender. Ultimately I think it's everyone's prerogative to live however they chose with regard to gender and sexuality.

 

That said, I'm amazed simply at the sheer success these individuals had, living intimate lives with others who were not aware of their biological gender (while that gender remained unchanged surgically).

 

My friend's 'boyfriend' (till he became her girlfriend), liked to do it in the dark, was always 'packing' a very realistic set of equipment, and never 'finished'. He also wore a 'back brace' which also flattened his chest. Yes, obviously upon reflection these were signs, but on the other hand "oh this must not really be a guy" isn't the first place you go when your boyfriend wears a back brace and/or has a proclivity for dimly lit intercourse. I can see how she might have been fooled, and obviously I wasn't having sex with the person myself so maybe I would have noticed. More than likely I'd have insisted that we do it with the lights on at some point and/or gently pressed for more exploratory sexual activities. Or maybe I'd have generally asked to at least watch 'him' climax on his own even if he couldn't do it in shared activities. Nevertheless, because I'm fairly sexual and sexually...uh 'creative' I think I'd have noticed at some point. However, I certainly can't be sure, especially if he was being very evasive, and I didn't want to invade his privacy or boundaries or make him feel threatened or angry. If I really cared for the 'guy' maybe I would have just accepted that he only did it with the lights off, and only in one or two ways without finishing.

 

If you're in a relationship right now (gay male or straight female) imagine suddenly finding out that your boyfriend/partner/husband was in fact a female. How would that feel? Do you think this is something that could happen to you? Might you miss the signs that 'he' wasn't really male?

 

-Kevin

Edited July 11, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Dion]

I'm socially inept anyway. I miss things unless I'm hit over the head with them.

 

Not what you're looking for, was it?

 

I think it would depend on how dedicated the person was to the charade. If they were just trying it out, as it were, I don't think they'd be as successful as one who genuinely felt that was the gender (insert deity here) intended them to be. There would be more at stake to be perceived as the gender they wanted to be.

 

No one has hit me over the head with a revelation like this, so I'd have to say I don't know that I've met anyone living this kind of life - yet.

[corvus]

I think these male impersonators can do what they want, it obviously doesn't really matter, since they can still lead productive, fulfilling lives. I'd probably be fooled. On the other hand, I don't think I'd eeever encounter such a situation, haha.

 

(400th post, w00t!)

[Procyon]

I think I'd be getting suspicious in the bedroom after a while. Actually, probably rather soon. But who knows, maybe there might be someone who was *really* good at pretending, or she might say there was something physically wrong with her/him; in that case she might be able to trick me.

[Drewbie]

If I did find my boyfriend was really a female, I would have a really hard time. Don't think it would happen to me personally. Hopefully they would come clean though for their partner.

[AFriendlyFace]

I think I'd be getting suspicious in the bedroom after a while. Actually, probably rather soon. But who knows, maybe there might be someone who was *really* good at pretending, or she might say there was something physically wrong with her/him; in that case she might be able to trick me.

According to the case of Billy Tipton that I discussed above he said he'd been in a severe car accident.

[Procyon]

According to the case of Billy Tipton that I discussed above he said he'd been in a severe car accident.

 

Wow that's... interesting. I'd, like, never even come up with the idea of doing something like that -- what makes people do this kind of thing?? Anyway it'd be interesting to have a person like that in a story some time.

[AFriendlyFace]

what makes people do this kind of thing??

I almost hate to speculate for fear that I might make a false supposition and inadvertently offend someone; however, I would assume that these people have some feelings of identification with the non-biological gender, but for whatever reasons don't come out as transgendered and approach things from that perspective.

 

On the other hand, ostensibly the cases I referenced above weren't directly related to gender issues. It's generally thought that Dr. Barry and Billy Tipton were mainly doing it so that they could pursue their interests and passions and still be respected and successful in a 'man's profession'.

 

As for the case with my friend...I don't really know well enough to speculate on the validity of the claim, but the story is that she was just 'playing around' and when she met my friend she became interested and had to keep up the charade.

 

It would make for a good story. I'd probably be more inclined to attack it from the other angle and have it be a guy who decides to do drag, meets a nice 'straight boy', falls in love, and has to deal with that sort of juggling act, etc. ...On the other hand it sorta sounds like that recent movie "She's the Man"