Hey , Its me again !

[Andy2008]

I'm such a jerk !!!

 

Here my newest story .

Last week , i'm went to club and meet a guy . So , he spot me about 30 minute before he got his nerve came and talk to me , actually , i'm spot him too , but i'm don't want to do a first moved . Let skip the dancing part , so , i am learn from my last mistake , this time we talk alot and let to known each other . Lucky, this dude didnot drunk much .

 

So , he said he wanna hanging out with me and we could go for dinner , movies or something like that , we aslo set a date for call back . So , before he leaving , he got my cell phone . When i'm came back on dancing floor with my friend , i'm suprise 'cause i'm saw him there . He told me his friend , who's give him a ride don't want to go home , that's why he still here .

 

So , we start dancing and kissing . About 15 minute , he take me to balcony and said he gonna go home rightnow . I'm asking where does he lived , he said he gonna walked to his house because he lived just few block away . So , its very late , i'm just feel so sorry when he walk home alone , so i said i'm gonna walked with him to his house and then he has to driven me back then to let me go home .

 

When we arrived his house , he asking me go inside talking and play around . So , i do .

Actually , we just talking for an half hours , i'm started with the love subject , how 's so hard to find love in the club , blab , blab ....He said he hadn't had a boyfriend for a years , and he like me alot , because he said i'm diffirence than the other guys he meet . Cute smile , sense of humor ...Whatever , I'm known he just worship me ...

 

About 3 am , he asking me if i want to go back to the club , he gonna take me there . So ... , so... , so...

I'm really tired and don't known what's to do . I half want go home and haft wanna stay with him . I can't decided , like my brain asking me to go home right away but my heart just said wanna stay with him .

 

You can call me a slut but ...I can't control myself .

 

Finally , he said he gonna decide for me , he take me to his room and sleep and i'm told him no sexual things include , he agreed with that . And actually we do nothing when the light come down except make-out all the whole time . I think there are no thing wrong with that until things getting deeper and deeper ...

 

He got me going .

Finally , i'm surrender myself , he just so sexy ..whatever ...

But we did not really make love .

 

The morning after we have a breakfast and he took me home , so he told me gonna call him this Wednesday . I'm just afraid after he using me he never want to see me again , but i'm hope things difference .

 

But the thing is i'm just felt guilty after all because that wasn't me anymore , a little bit of shame and i'm don't known its was wrong or not . I'm alway had i respect and dignity for my_self , but seen at this time , i'm lost everythings . But the certain thing i known is there is no regret , 'cause that was my decision after all .

 

Judge me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited May 19, 2009 by Andy2008

[Sir Galahad]

It's not for anyone here to judge you. But personally, I can't see that you did anything worng, certainly nothing to be ashamed of. So don't sweat it.

 

Anyways dude, it's not Wednesday yet!! Stop fretting

[Benji]

.............Far from me to judge and try a moral stance here! Of course, I was not looking for anything but hookups back then. But it was the way of the times back then, still there was no excuse.

[JamesSavik]

One of the cool things about this place is you'll get more hugs than judgement...

 

and a word about keeping your head and taking care of yourself.

[Phantom]

Yup, I agree with James... you'll get more hugs and advice then judgements. One thing we all try to do is offer the best advice we can for a situation whether in a post on the forums or in a blog so don't worry about us judging you

 

Eric

[rknapp]

Eric will judge you to the ends of the earth. The rest of us won't!

[AFriendlyFace]

Well I have some thoughts.

 

It sounds to me like you might benefit from living in the moment a little more. What I heard while you were telling your story is someone worrying, "What should I do? Is this okay? Is that?" and then later, "Now what's going to happen? Will he call?"

 

I say try to relax and be happy! Did you have a good time? Do you have anything to regret? If the answers to those questions are yes and no respectively, then I'd say the situation has already turned out just fine.

 

I would suggest that when you meet someone you just try to enjoy your moments with them. If they also enjoy their moments spent with you, then maybe you will both enjoy many more moments together. If not, well that doesn't dilute the happy time you have to look back on, and there's always next time

 

 

Regarding this, definitely don't borrow any trouble. Just wait and see what happens, and remember even if he doesn't call Wednesday, that doesn't mean you can't call him.

 

 

Good luck,

Kevin

[Andy2008]

I'm call him , and we gonna going out for a date tommorror ...

I think that's a good sign .

But there a something about him i'm clearly don't known and wanna known ! Love in the club , i'm don't think it work out .

 

I'm gonna tell you guys what's happen tommorror .

[AFriendlyFace]

Good luck! I hope it goes well

[Andy2008]

Everything goes well . But that's not what's i'm expected .

We had a great dinner together and end up is watch movies in his house . The thing is he don't let me kiss him much , actually he did but i do want the real kiss , he told me he had a cold and don't want contagious to me !

After movie , he took me home . And i asking him what's does he thing about this relationship ? He told me we gonna hanging out more and let to known each other ! I told him if he really don't want to dating me , just told me that, i'm don't need him feel sorry for me , or pretend to like me and force to going out with me . I told him just tell me that's and i'm will disappear forever . And then he said , he need to known more about me and its to soon to commitment everything , he job not stable enough and he had to move alot , so he wanna think about that ...

Finally he kiss me before he leave and said he gonna call me when he get back ...

 

sight !!!

[AFriendlyFace]

I think he's got a point. You've only seen each other twice; it probably is too early to know just how compatible you are with each other. I generally think several dates are needed before any sort of commitment is entered into and even then I think it should be a milder sort of commitment more along the lines of, "let's be exclusive with each other and see where this goes" than, "let's move out to the 'burbs and get a dog."

 

As is oft noted divorce/break up rates are pretty darn high nowadays. I think it's true that to some extent that's because people are more likely to "give up" too soon; however, I personally think one of the biggest factors is the fact that no one knows how to date anymore. Courtship is all but dead. Nowadays it seems like people are picking out their china pattern on the second date, or else prematurely saying, "well I'm not completely dazzled so I'd better move on." Personally I think that's a little silly. Give it a few dates, then decide where you stand as a couple.

 

So yeah, I think that in general he's right. By the same token, I would have to caution you against pushing him too hard to make a commitment or to quit seeing you completely. Don't force him to choose, the sensible middle option (strictly my opinion of course) is to wait and see. I've been with guys who pushed too hard for too serious too fast, and generally I have decided to end it. Why? Because I just wasn't in any position to say, "yes, let's make a serious commitment." It would have felt too rash and reckless. I needed more information and so did they.

 

Of course, you obviously want to avoid being in a "non-relationship" with him for months on end or still be only "semi-serious" after two or three years. At some point you do need to make your decision and you need to get him to do the same. I just don't think that point should be after your second date.

 

Eh, just my thoughts. Take them with a grain of salt

 

-Kevin

[Andy2008]

Give it a few dates, then decide where you stand as a couple.

 

But just think he so hypocrite or something like that , i'm don't bother if he call me back or not , i'm just need go out and get another guys if i want to ... But i like him and waitting on him , i'm personal think he want to play along with me .

And ...we sleep together already , what's he waitting 4 ?

 

Don't force him to choose, the sensible middle option (strictly my opinion of course) is to wait and see

Love is complicated and hurting ...

Yeah , may be you right . I'm moving too fast for him and i'm just feelin I was straddeling

Sometime , i wanna think about the other side . Think about SEX not LOVE .