Red Light

[Former Member]

Hi everyone,

 

not too long ago, I started to write my first ever fiction story. All I'm used to is writing fanfiction, so this is achallenge for me, and a fun one at that.

 

Click here to start reading Red Light.

 

I'm really curious about what you guys think about this story.

If you have any ideas for it, don't be afraid to share them.

If you have any hints or tips, please tell me. I'd love to improve.

 

Thank you,

Robyn

[Former Member]

Reviews for Red Light on December 19th, 2010.

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Kavrik

 

Oh no. How come she never saw her brother again? This is so sad.Author's Response: Ehm... if you're talking about Kay, he's a boy. Other than that, you'll find out eventually.

Date: 12/05/2010 11:48 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Kavrik

 

Wow...I think Seren stopped my heart as well as your narrators. More on him please!Author's Response: Wow, Seren seems to be popular. But I can't blame you; I love him as well ^^ Thanks for the comment.

Date: 12/05/2010 11:36 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: falling into the story

 

The story is well written. However I find it utterly depressing. I

suppose in some way these children are no worse off than kids working in

some third world sweatshop today sewing t-shirts for rich white

consumers while making 3$ a day. But I have to admitt, so far there's

very little hope in this story. And for me, the fact that Kay is being

trained to be a prostitute will make whatever gay aspect of his

character that ultimately develop seem corrupted.Author's Response: Thank you for your comment. But I've never said anything about Kay being gay, have I?

Date: 12/05/2010 11:19 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

I Don't know how I missed this chapter but I realised when i

read the next one that I had missed somethin so I came back I'm glad I

did. This was a fabulous chapter. I love the way you get the flavour of

the whole Keji from the small amount of information given. I like Seren

even more now

Did you notice that you posted the chapter twice here.Author's

Response: You made my weekend, seriously xD And no, I didn't notice.

I'll take a look at it right away, thanks for telling me.

Date: 12/05/2010 08:26 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That really was a heartrending chatper. I can just see the image

of that little boy with his hands around the bars, and then walking

away. That was awfully sad. I hope he found someone to take care of him.

Surely there must be a kind person somewhere who would take care of a

sick five year old child. I can only hope so. As far as the rest of it

is concerned. I am extremely interested in Seren. In Welsh that means

Star :)Author's Response: Thanks for another wonderful

review Yes, Seren is a character that I love dearly, but I won't say

too much about him just yet. I think he'll turn out to be a very

interesting character. And I try to always put some thought in the names

I choose for my characters, and I really liked this one. But I'm

rambling now. Anyway, thanks for the reviews ^^

Date: 12/05/2010 07:47 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Kavrik

 

Wow. I really liked this story. Thank you for posting it and I

can't wait til the next chapter gets put up so we can see what happens

with the children. I get the feeling it is going to be ominous? Hmmm.

You're writing is exceptional by the way )Author's

Response: Well, thank you very much I'm very happy with this

feedback. Your last comment made me smile so broadly my cheeks hurt ^^'

Hahaha! No seriously, thank you so much!

Date: 11/28/2010 04:06 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu

 

Have just finished the first 3 chapters. Whan an engaging story! I

liked the length of the 3rd chapter, thought the first two were a little

short. I also like the story line...but then, I love the Japanese

world...and this has very strong resonances with that.I look forward to seeing how you develop this.thanks.Author's

Response: Wow, thank you so much, your review makes me so happy! Thanks

a lot once again, I'll try to keep up both the quality and the chapter

length

Date: 11/28/2010 03:50 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Poor kids. I watched Memoirs of a Geisha and I have to admit

that when I was reading this particular chapter it did 'feel' similar. I

am even more excited to see the way that this story develops. I am sure

there will be plenty of unique twists. The idea of a male Gisha is

thrilling.Author's Response: Wow, thanks a lot O.O I'm

really honored to know that you are excited about this story. I'll do my

best to keep up the good work.

Date: 11/28/2010 01:53 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Uh oh!! When things START to go wrong? Total unease about that there girl Very nice workAuthor's

Response: Wow, thank you for the reviews Although I have to admit,

when I read the word "terrible", I felt the urge to cry. Luckily, I read

on immediately, and came out of it relieved :3

Date: 11/05/2010 02:21 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Oh that was terrible... not the writing of course and not the

story, but for a mother to lose three of her children in one day. I

would be even worse than she was. Interesting start though

Date: 11/05/2010 02:19 PM [Respond]

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham

 

Well done. Interesting story and well written. I look forward to following Kay's adventures.Author's Response: Thank you for the nice review ^^ It makes me really happy to know you like it so far.

Date: 11/05/2010 11:10 AM

[Nephylim]

As you know I love this story. The whole atmosphere is very remenicent of Diary of a Geisha which I absolutely love. I am very intersted in seeing Seren again

[Former Member]

As you know I love this story. The whole atmosphere is very remenicent of Diary of a Geisha which I absolutely love. I am very intersted in seeing Seren again

 

Thank you ^.^ He's starting to become my favorite character, I think...