my story

[raydeayon1]

So my name is jonathan im 22 years old. I live in a boring city in wisconsin right by one the the great lakes. I came out after highschool and had no other gay friends. I was young and dumb so yeah here is my story

 

When i was 17 i found myself in a gay forum site nothing like this one. You know the kind to get laid and get a quick bj yeah that kind. Well i ment a guy name Michel he was the same age as me living in san Francisco and we talked every day and every night till we finally called one another. We would talk for hours on end for almost two years. then one night he said "i love you jonathan." I was so scared i hung up because i didn't love him. So a few months later were talking and one of his friends is at his house and he steals the phone from Michel to say hi and oh my god i don't know what it was but i fell in love the second i heard his voice. He said his name was billy and gave me his number.

 

Well i called billy back and he was just so much interesting to talk to. He had a job at the lgbt center and goes to college and helps out with homeless peoe in the city. We talked for a good year and i was in love and i wanted to meet him. By that time i was 20 years old and i bought a plane ticket to san fran to finally meet the love of my life. Now of course we traded pics and skyped. Also he was 3 years older then me. I get off of the plane nervous as hell my heart was beating so fast and my whole body was shaking. There he was waiting for me by the gate with his skinny faded black jeans leather jacket high rise converse and a military hat on. He smiled and laughed he grabbed me and kissed me for the first time. i loved him so much we held hands all the to the subway i was still shaking. All he did was giggle.

 

It felt like that train took so long but it finally showed up. There was no place to sit so we stood. I remember there was a guy with a huge pizza box to the left of me and Asian people sitting down. Then the train stopped i didn't expect it and i fell over my suit case :-( lol. But anyway to make this part short we got to his house he lived in it was so amazing he lived right by the castro. He showed me the castro, where havey milk's little photo shop was, we walked the golden gate bridge, i got to see the full house houses lol, golden gate park, the ocean and i got to see the sun set for the first time in in my life. Now we did this all with in a week mind you. Then he took me to this place a night called the top of the world were you can see the whole city. He then got on one knee and handed me a ring and told me "jonathan you are my everything i love you much will you marry me?" I cried and huged him and told him yes

 

We leave the top of the world and go back to his house and i lost my virginity to him and we made love many many times before i had to go back to wisconsin. thw whole time i was out there it was sunny and in the 70s in January and the day i left it was foggy cloudy and raining. Before i left to the airport he made me a pepperoni sandwich and he was crying so much and so was i. I got on my plane and headed back to Racine. i remember opening the sandwich he made me and i startex busting out crying and i couldn't stop how could i just the person i love.

 

I get back to my home its like 28 out side cold as hell and snowing ugh that was the time wisconsin and other states got that big storm im so lucky that i got home safe it snowed 28 inches by my house.

 

Months have past i had just turn 21 and billy was coming he to my home for a week. He met my family and they loved we did so much we went down to tbe only gay club in my town and we danced for hours it was great and of course we made love every night he was here hehehe. we get to talking when were going to live together the plan was i would get a transfer were i worked at pack my things and drive to san fran.

 

So its june and things just went down hill he was getting kicked out of his house when he tured 25 because he was with a housing group and the age limit whet up to 25. He now worked for city hall helping out juveniles get off of the street. So now the plan was he would move out here with me because when he lives the housing group they save money for him and it would be twenty-thousand in check so my mom I thought "ok he can provide for himself so yes he can live here and billy and Jonathan can find a place to live."

 

He gets here with only 500 to his name no job no nothing but just a suit case of close to him. Months go by and he finally picks up a part time job only getting 20 hours im working full time at a lab i use my tax money to get a cheap place. And once we move in everything chances he turned so controlling so needy so jealous. He would get mad and yell at me if i went to my bestfriends house to drink some beers and play some xbox it seem like everynight we would get into fights. I pay over 900 dollars bills and for living cost all he had to do was cover rent only 500 and he could never do it. I had to borrow money from uncle, and i got a bonus check and i had to put all of that in. Now that was not far to me at all. One day he just snaped because i said im no longer helping for rent you need to find a full time job and what does he do he punches me my lip i start bleeding im running to my car i lock the doors and he starts punching my window screaming im sorry im sorry.

 

Ugh i was so stupid we made up and i said i ME I SAID SORRY WTF. I was just so scared of him i didn't want him to hurt me so yeah im now 22 and he is 25 we get into fights so much. One night we snoops on my lab top and finds this site and my topic how i had a sex dream of my bestfriend and oh boy was he pissed. I was scared he not hit me this time but he wouldn't let me leave the apartment so i just fell asleep well the next day we get into it again so i just leave for work but he was infront of my car so i jusg slowly move forword and hez trying to stop the car by pushing it back i mean really? I finally break away from him and as i take off he kicks in my door i stop the car and yell its over billy.

 

All day at work hes teting me saying oh im sorry i didn't mean to please come back to me but i didn't text him once. I got off work and thats at mid night so i go to my best friend Brandon's house and we get drunk just telling how life was so great back then and sharing stories so its 4 in the morning and i drive to my mom and dads house i have a key ;-) i walked in all slowly and when into my moms room my dad sleeps in the other room becuse of my moms snoring lol. I whisper "mom mom are you up?" and she says yes and i climb in bed with her and say i don't love him anymore i want him out of my life. And my mom is so cool shes says ok i know you havent been happy in so long we can go tomorrow get some close and next we can get a truck to move all your things back in :-)

 

the next day we go to the apartment i grab my lab top my xbox and some close now he was there and thank god my mom my sister and by brother were there to help me out. I got those few things and oh yeah i got my cat to and i gave him back his ring. He did now want to give up his ring which was my grandpas ring so my kom is pissed saying i did not give my son permission to give you my fathers ring. So he finally gave it to her. In the mean time hes following me around saying i can change i lo e you your really going to throw 3 years behind. Yes yes i am. we get downstairs and he follows us to the car my mom and i get in the car while my sister and brother in law get in theres i roll down the window he says i love you jon i just roll my eyes and drive off.

 

Later today sunday were grabing all of my things while he is at work and i will never have to deal with him ever again. Oh yeah i forgot to put this in that 20 grand was all a lie so he could out here he drained me, my mom and dad out of money but also lied to us and tricked us im so happy i will have my life back i will beable to hang out with the people that mean so much to me without having to worry of getting into a fight or my heart beating out of my chest. I've chosen this path with no regrets and i don't care what happens to him as long as i live.

Edited August 19, 2012 by raydeayon1

[Houdinii]

Well, Jon, glad you got away from the low life. I never agree with the violence, unless it's defense (been there) Think I've seen ya before here, maybe once, but if not, welcome to GA, and complain anytime ya want... Many great ears on the site... (Maybe even pop into chat sometime...)

[raydeayon1]

thank you

[The_Round_One]

Good luck with it!

[Celethiel]

*kisses Johnathon's forehead*

[raydeayon1]

thank you celethiel * kisses celethiel back*

[Celethiel]

*blushes horribly* You're welcome...

[Xtro]

Jon, as hard as it might seem, things will get better. I lost my first partner back in 1982 (killed in the Falklands - we were both in the Royal Navy, back when being gay in the Navy was illegal - instant dishonourable discharge if caught.) Back then there was no one to talk to about it all. These days there are forums, discussion groups, support groups - and you are already talking the guy out of your system. So, don't let one bad experience colour you for the rest of your life - apart from the fact that you are obviously much better than that, there's a whole world out there waiting for you to brighten it up!

 

So get out there and SHINE!