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Captain Peacock is dead


Zombie

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Captain Peacock [Frank Thornton] died on Saturday. Star of the BBC family sitcom Are You Being Served he was floor manager of Grace Brothers department store and was always tangling with Mrs Slocombe in Womens Clothing ...

Mrs Slocombe [arriving late to work]: Ooo it's like an igloo in here
Miss Brahms: It's warmer outside!
Captain Peacock: Good morning Mrs Slocombe. One minute late!
Mrs Slocombe: You're lucky to have me at all Captain Peacock ... I had to thaw out my pussy before I came.
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Captain Peacock [looking stern]
Mrs Slocombe: I hope this isn't going to take long, Captain Peacock. The last time I was late a fireman had to climb out of my bedroom window and risk his life trying grab hold of my pussy.
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Captain Peacock [looking exasperated]: Mrs Slocombe, there is a strict rule that staff may not bring pets to the store.
Mrs Slocombe: Well you know how clumsy those removal men are. I'm not having them handle my pussy!
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Captain Peacock: What about you Mrs Slocombe?
Mrs Slocombe: Well I just do simple cooking to my own taste. But you'll never see a dirty plate in my kitchen. And if there are any leftovers my pussy gobbles them up in a flash.
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Captain Peacock [gesturing]: In this area we have the mechanical cuddlies.
Mrs Slocombe: But they're all dogs. Is there no demand for mechanical pussies?
Captain Peacock: I am told that people prefer the real thing.
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Captain Peacock [beckons to Mrs Slocombe]
Mrs. Slocombe: Captain Peacock, I do not respond to any man's finger.


 
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