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Imagine Question For 2/18 - Friendly Fire


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Some people...they just naturally get along with one another. I mean, that's a good thing, right? Shared interests, a sense of humor, spending some quality time together...it's fun! It's supposed to be fun!

However...let's say that you're dating somebody really cute, and your heart is totally invested in your relationship. An investment that he seems to return right back to you, and you guys are happy together. And then...there's this 'OTHER' boy!

I mean, he's gorgeous, he's in shape, he's smart, he's funny, and he seems to really get along with your boyfriend. But it doesn't seem like there are any ulterior motives involved at all. They're just friends. The question is...how do you guys feel about that?

I mean...what if they find a mutual attraction for one another further down the road? What if you and your boyfriend have a fight? What happens when you're not around? Would a situation like this bother you? What would the rules be for something like that? Would you feel like you were being overly paranoid for worrying about it at all? Or would you feel like a total idiot for not keeping an eye on your sweetheart while someone else swoops down and takes him away from you?

Is it a matter of common sense or a matter of insecurity? What are your thoughts on this? Feel free to go into as much detail as you like and leet us know what you think! And have you ever dealt with this before in the past? How did it work out?

The board is open! Give us your two cents! :)

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Honestly...it's difficult to think about how I'd feel in this situation. But it doesn't come from a lack of trust or personal insecurity. At least, that's what I tell myself to help me sleep at night, hehehe!

Bottom line, I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at reading people when it comes to them having deliberate intentions to either cheat on me or someone else who's actively trying to get closer to my boyfriend than what should be considered comfortable. Like...don't play me for an idiot, you know? I'm not in control of anybody and I can't forbid you two from being friends, but if you're engaged in a lot suspicious activities concerning someone I love...he and I are going to have a serious discussion about it and figure out what's going on. I don't like that kind of behavior at all, and there are plenty of people who are always out there preying on their next piece of ass, no matter WHO it hurts or the pain and wreckage they leave behind. So I'll be extra vigilant about stuff like that.

However, the solution doesn't come from confronting the predator. If I'm in love or in a committed relationship, that's something that we need to be honest about and discuss honestly. I'm going to bring up my concerns, and he'll bring up his, and it's going to end up being two against one. Every time. If he decides to break my heart and go with you instead, then that's up to him...but I'm not going to play any games with you about it. Stay away from us and go find somebody special of your own. It will not end well for you.

That's from a predator's standpoint, though. Now, if it's just a friendly coupling where you guys just hang out and have a good time on a level that I'm not a part of...that's cool with me. It really is. Even if you're drop dead gorgeous...I have to develop of level of trust with the people I claim to love with my whole heart. And that's not always easy, but if you can't trust who you're with...then what are you doing? You know? You can't chain them up in the basement and stop them from ever talking to somebody cute or cool or funnier than you. What would be the point?

So having somebody cute in your life is fine with me. But know that I'm always paying attention. If your attitudes change or his become more predatory...ummmm...it's time for a talk.
 

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