The Fey

[Mirage]

Okay guys I need to know what you think. Good bad ugly? Nah only kidding but please be honest

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=2

[Jack Scribe]

Okay guys I need to know what you think. Good bad ugly? Nah only kidding but please be honest

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=2

 

Hi Mirage,

 

Your first chapter is very compelling...I want to read more and find out what these powers are all about. I have a feeling that the older sister has learned not to tick off her younger sibling. I like that you're rolling out just enought details about the protagonist to keep us guessing and wanting more.

 

One fast fix: the third paragraph, first word, needs an "E" that somehow got dropped along the way.

 

Good luck on developing a successful story.

 

Best,

Jack

[Mirage]

Thanks Jack for your nice comments. Have to say I am really having a ball writing this story. Yeah you never know what is going to happen next. I have had Chapter 2 in my head for a few weeks now can't wait to get it down on paper. Definately stay tuned there will be some fun surprises in store for the protagonist as well as her sister. I dont know who is more excited me or my characters

 

Oh yeah all edited hehe for some reason when I used copy and paste lol some letters decided to take a walk.

[Jack Scribe]

I have had Chapter 2 in my head for a few weeks now can't wait to get it down on paper. Definately stay tuned there will be some fun surprises in store for the protagonist as well as her sister. I dont know who is more excited me or my characters

 

One suggestion: it's really helpful for the reader (and their continued support) if you write a few chapters ahead so that you can post the chapers with weekly freqency.

 

Look forward to more of the adventure.

 

Jack