Circle

Heya! David is, according to Dan's experiment, a Mr Nice Guy . I would also say that hope, as well as imagination, are humanity's greatest gift and curse. It doesn't stop us from hoping and fantasising though lol. Dan, while a little better than part 1, still doesn't understand fully what's going on around him. You're absolutely right that he barely recognises emotions in himself or others. He knows very little of Chris and David and knows very little of what's it like being them as a result. Oh. I kill spiders, probably because they're the only bugs in my house! And they undermine my sense of security. I hope you clear out your ant problems soon though, and the ants do not decide to mount a massive assault on Claudia .

Hahaha, I guess that still counts you as Mr Nice Guy! You're absolutely right! We often snap out of it because the object of our crush is a jerk, which is clearly not the case for Dan. While Dan is still actively investigating and researching on the subject of David (), there are still many things about David that Dan doesn't know. Like in real life, we cannot dip into David's head to know his thoughts, and thus we rely completely on how he's treating Dan and the people around him. If it were an objective POV however, this story would be told very differently! Aha! Kudos for spotting this layer of engineering beneath the surface hehe. I clap for you. The healing process is ongoing and thoughts, tones and styles change with the character. For example, Dan is questioning less, of others, of his own actions, and more certain of his acceptance in college. Within the spectrum of Dan, sentence structures are simpler and feels a little brighter to read. Humour and content helps too, given this is a new stage of the same journey. This is absolutely intentional and it's wonderful that you spot it . Thanks for the review. You never ramble .

No it's not an autobiography hehe. Just to confirm - Circle is in fact writing about someone called Byron . I'm glad this twist made you lol

Hehe, thanks for the review, Lisa! Yeah, we never quite see ourselves the same way others do. Whether Dan is a bad person I'll leave it up to the reader to judge . The reader of course, having access to his thoughts and actions from his POV so far, is better to form an opinion than any of the characters there I'd think . David is cool . Hehe, glad Dan is not the only one!

‘Stop staring at David!’ Chris told me the next day in P.E.. ‘I wasn’t staring at him!’ I retorted. Though I did, for a second or two. David was taking off his shirt – impossible to resist. In an instant my eyes were onto his smooth, gorgeous body, lavishing the sight of his abs, his arms, his chest, and I could not pull away. But it was only for a second, not like I was ogling him for minutes on end. I mean, I could have but I chose not to because I didn’t want to be obvious. And how was that

Dark and gritty! I like it so much (as terrible as I supposed it would be to say)!! I'm in love with Luka's miserable and tragic life! On another note though, I wouldn't advise using omniscient 3rd POV in the flashback. We were meant to be shown this through Luka's perspective, and therefore a close 3rd POV would serve better (I.E. without going into Alexis's thoughts). Luka can second guess what Alexis's thoughts are and where he is coming from of course, but there we seemed to be given insight from the author and we're not supposed to know an author is behind all of this! But seriously though, I love how dark this story is. Has there any piece of law that Luka hasn't managed to break yet...? . Can't wait for even more dirty little secrets .

Not really sure what to think at this point. On a surface level the high level of writing and the ability capture interest and imagination, through suspension and character revelations is quite well done, but on the other, I am not convinced by the mother-son drama. How Nick has been treating his mum all this time, and how she him, did not move me in the slightest. Sure, it removes power from the parent and shifts it to Nick and Zoe, but this kind of device on its own has been used so many times that its emotional punch naturally suffered as a result. It would take a lot more for me to feel for either of them in the same situation. The story line however, became linear and Nick-centric. The days when both Nick and Dave had problems were gone and since Linda had not appeared or interacted with either of them since the text after the party, the story has become progressively about Nick's problems and Dave rather ceased to have a life of his own. The only notable exception is Matt's kissing scene in a previous chapter. But one could argue then that it was only because they fell out that Dave had a life outside of Nick. Also, I think there's a typo in the first scene: 'Rut' should be 'Rub'?

I personally cannot wait until Matt makes out with Alan and the two end up in bed! Alan ftw! And 11 chapters in, I think it is safe for me to say your Dave is very much unlike my Dave .

Don't worry, I'm also very slow... Like, WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY 'REAL' GA? Where is 'real' GA? And who is this author? Who is really Dan? I'm confused haha. Chris will be back next chapter and will have something to share . We are fortunate that no one really reviews like Evanesce here. I review my own stories like that all the time though lol, only because I care . Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoyed the story and especially, Dan's mini-story .

Mmm, I found it kinda weird that Dave would forget about his Diesel jacket, especially if it were his birthday present. When I returned home I generally would notice immediately if I have any pieces of clothing missing lol. Other than that, you really have a way with intimate sexy scenes. So English, so elegant, so powerful and stimulating. Such a great read. Some lovely details there as well as appealing to all senses. It felt quite realistic. I'm not someone who writes sex scenes myself but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate one when I see one

Hey!! Thank you so much for leaving a review, Bleu . For the longest of times I have doubted whether this new direction is any good... so I'm glad you love it! I love it when readers get me. Byron is writing a story about two teenagers is one dimension, while Dan is writing because he wants romance in his life. As for Circle and the person behind Circle, we have no idea of their ulterior motives for writing this story Because the previous chapters are rendered so 'realistic', this is the first in which fiction and reality collides, and I can't wait until the whole architecture of the story unfolds itself. Once again, thanks for the review

Great! I'll change that!

Hehe, things are getting hot and heavy very soon! And Alan is going to walk in on them while they're at it, probably

Theory: if I were a badminton maniac and I wanted to find the right guy, I’d go to a gay badminton society, not chess club. If I were a bookworm I’d join a reading group, not a swimming class. From there, I could build on friends and romantic possibilities. Unlike dating sites where I could see from a massive list whose dick I fancied, this was more about networking and laying the foundations of a relationship. And meeting new people in the process, I guess. I didn’t much mind that now. I used t

Really weird. I knew it was probably a dream but then I kind of convinced myself it wasn't and then it WAS a dream. You handled our willingness to suspend disbelief well. What happened to Dave's jacket, btw?

*Thinks* That was... absolutely disturbing! I cannot for the life of me imagine being someone to milk another for what they're worth. At all these intervals from the four year old innocence (I would never have thought of anyone as cute at that age), to the kissing games at 10, and then sex at 18 - I find the trail of conquest deeply disturbing. There's something predatory about the narrator that I instantly wanted to defend myself from. So horrible and sadistic at the same time, I am at a complete loss of words. But then, the ending came redemption. The laws of attraction was explored, and came Jason who the narrator joked as being a more powerful version of himself - true to an extent, because Jason didn't even seem to be trying. And of course, what you can't get you would generally want it even more and such is human nature. The narrator has somewhat finally understood what it felt like to be attracted to someone, and has in one sense, found what he's missed out on perhaps, in all his life. The redemption makes up for the gritty read, although it also begs the next question: When will it be until Jason also milked out of the narrator for all he's worth?

There's something truly touching about all this: the comment about a mother protecting her son, and Jack's death. Now the diary would be all that he has left on this world and I'm sure Colton will make a discovery within to exact his revenge on all those who did this to him. One thing though: ‘Please. He’s just a kid. He’s only eleven. He’s just a kid.’ In Chapter 5, from Richard's words, his son is nearly thirteen. Was he lying here?

Just a question. Who is this guy trying to help Jack escape? In the previous chapter at the end Peter called him 'Dale' and in this one he is firmly 'Ray'. Also, in the previous chapter Peter was described to have gone home while the other two guys went shopping, and in this one Peter is the one gone shopping? That's the only thing though. A very powerful chapter overall .

I really like this chapter! Sorry for getting back so late. Exams are all over me and I barely get much else done. The story is handled and read like a thriller and it is brilliant. He shrugged and sniffed. ‘I…I don’ know, ma. Know one knows. Evil twin ‘Lost your tongue in the explosion, Jack?’ Hunt asked, giggling like a schoolgirl. ‘No matter. Let me tell you what we have here. A scared little gay boy who deserted us. Oh. Wait. This isn’t about you being gay. It about you squealing on us. You worked both sides. A mole for the British government. I’m amazed you didn’t die in that bus. You do know of-course that bomb was meant to kill you. But, now that we have you, we’re goin’ to make your life a livin’ hell. Yes, sir…’ Personally I love this dialogue. You really have a way to make it menacing and testy and it just comes to life. I'm also pleasantly surprised by Ma. This is great!

Kinda caught up with everything now. Leaves a fair amount for me to think about, I think. I like doing that naturally, too, but some aspects of your story resonated with me, a few real life recent events, in fact. Behind the facade of banter, funny dialogues, young love etc, there is something seriously dark, disturbing, depressing and gritty about this story. And I like this very much. Out of interest though, what is the inspiration behind Luka's character?

Haha, sexual tension at last! I love how you wrote with a British restraint hehe.

Good chapter. The rejection at the end with Dave is so complete and I felt all of it. Very well done there. For me though, as a suggestion, would it have been even more powerful, had Mel not foreshadowed that bad things would happen and instead leave this up to the reader's imagination?

Like the others, I quite enjoy the banters between Dave and Nick too Your scenes always have a great ending to them

Damn, I said I'd wait til my exam is over but nah, lol. I think it was a good start. You have a great facility with words and the story is set quite well. The idea of enemies is quite novel (at least for me) and would be interesting to see what you have in store to break down years of distrust. It's also apparent that you put a lot of thought into your characters and the story itself. Something in me however craved for a more gripping start. Since the first sentence is important (and its role is to make you want to read the second), I would suggest a slight alteration. Roy Peter Clark wrote a book called 'Writing Tools' in which the first tool may be applicable here: Right branching sentences. The idea is you start with verbs and nouns and end with a powerful/significant word, with the weaker elements in the middle of the sentence. This is what you wrote: It was a crystal clear September morning, and Nick Davis was due to start his final year of secondary school. If I attempt the tool mentioned above, it might sound like this: Nick Davis was to start his final year of secondary school on this clear September morning. It may be personal preference, and of course not ALL sentences have to be like this or it'll be its own monotony, but in the case of a first sentence I believe you could see my point of trying to do something more special . Aside from that though, it was a very intriguing start. Dave rather reminds me of a few unreasonable individuals back in secondary school. But yeah, hope this helps

Hehehe, thanks a lot . That really means a lot. Asexual I think is a term used to describe strictly, an organism that can reproduce by itself, as Dan pointed out . Dan is maybe a little non-sexual . Just like Dan's initial paranoia with people being explained at the end of Part 1, I hope to do the same for Dan's non-sexualness . Once again, thank you for your thoughtful comments and insights .