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MidnightSecret

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Blog Entries posted by MidnightSecret

  1. MidnightSecret
    September 16, 2010
     
    It was now or never... In the heat of the moment, I stepped up to him, and kissed him with every strength I had. In the close confines of his arms, it felt like I had stepped right up into the stars themselves... Like I had become one with the sky, and that together "we were as clean and pure and wide as the universe itself."
     
    It was as if my mind was completely devoured by the dream world.
    It left me breathless, and for once in my life, everything felt so right.
    We stayed that way for a long time, maybe until the sun had touched the sky and the hour had called us home.
     
    All my life I have waited for love to come and stay.
    And now that it has, I'm afraid that it will all somehow slip away.
    Maybe it's inevitable, and I guess we'll never know for sure.
    Sometimes it's hard to trust in the words that may only hurt you in the end.
     
    At first I tried to fight the love I felt for you,
    I didn't know why, but I tried so hard not to look at your face.
    Because I was afraid. I was truely afraid that if I opened up my heart to you,
    I would only risk getting hurt. And it was because of this reason that I needed to get away from it all,
    and it hurts my soul to say that had I walked away from something so great.
    I ran, and I ran as far as I could until there was no where left to run.
     
    When the nights were so long and lonely, you were the beautiful melody that inspired me to be the person I have always wanted to be my entire life.
    So you should know that... It was the things you did that
    brought me back to you.
     
    There is no gaurentee that this life is ever easy, so we must be willing to take any opportunities that pop up along the way.
    My friend, even if you may get hurt, I promise you that you will rise once again, and that you will learn to love again, but this time you will be stronger.
     
    When you love someone or something strong enough to be able to take risks, then it must be worth it. Remember; if it feels good, then it must be good.
    Does your Mind understand why you need to take the risk?
    Does your Heart demand it?
    Does your Soul realize the possible outcomes?
    Yes?
    Then Risk it.
    Love is simply too beautiful to run from.
     
    - Stay Sweet Always.
     
    xoxo,
    MidnightSecret
  2. MidnightSecret
    {September 14, 2010}
     
    Dear Lovers and Friends,
     
    How are you today?
     
    Oh so your feeling good today? Good. Now I need some words of wisdom from you.
     
    What does it mean to take a "chance?" How do we define such a thing and must it only occur once a life time? I, for one, have learned about the many places I've wanted to, dreamed of, and spoke of going to. But in reality, I hadn't actually set foot outside my door. Why was that? To be frank, I still had no idea what stopped me from the pursuit of happiness, love, and life. Maybe it was because I was afraid of rejection or that such a pursuit is absolute falconry?
     
    So what if this supposedly pivotal moment in my life was to come unexpected, do I go for it with open arms, or do I let it go and submit to my own tragic destiny?
     
    There's a reason why I keep ranting on and on: it's because I feel that there might be someone special in my life at the moment. However, where our relationship is situated at the moment is still sort of a mystery to me. This is because I've been asking this same question all week over and over again: "Should I let him be a part of my life? Yes? No?" If I do, this would dramtically change things for me... Adjustments would have to be made blah blah blah. I'm just scared that if things go to fast, that like a strike of lightning it would only end quickly. What was your first love like?
     
     
     
    What do you guys say about taking chances?
    Am I ready to jump off the edge with him?
    I would appreciate any advice, since you guys rock! <3
     
     
    xoxo,
     
    MidnightSecret<3
  4. MidnightSecret
    GAH I've been so busy lately...
    So no poems for awhile </3
    But here's a confession I would like to share:
     
    "I am convinced that...
    You must be a good runner because you're always running on my mind. You must be a great thief because you've stolen my heart but I must be a horrible shooter because I'm always missing you."
     
     
    That is all, have a good night everyone <333
     
     
  5. MidnightSecret
    My heart swelled


    as I brushed my fingers

    againt the ink of his words,

    as if I was slowly

    deciphering a secret code.

     

    I never knew,

    never never never knew,

    until now.

     

    ...

     

    "I never knew if it was a coincident,

    but every time he played the piano,

    raindrops would always

    fall from the sky.

     

    And

    All I could hear was a sad melody,

    as it hugged the colorless sky,

    like the sad cry of a morning dove.

    I felt a stir in my heart each time,

    and I helplessly clutched on to it,

    as it devoured me completely.

     

    The memory of when we first met was

    permanently stained onto my heart.

    When I came across him,

    he was in my eyes,

    stunningly beautiful.

    As he turned around startled,

    his face was bathed in the sun's ravishing light,

    and his body glowed with streaks of radiant colors.

     

    Time had stopped,

    and had given me the opportunity

    to stare into his lustrous eyes blazing with desire.

    As occupied as my eyes were,

    that fixed image of him

    immediately perpetuated in my memories forever.

    I was convinced that one glace from him,

    a whole nation would fall.

     

    As the days passed by,

    I was determined to take him away,

    to breakaway from our foolish lives.

     

    Redundantly,

    I listened to him play each passing day,

    with more pleasure in seeing his resplendent smile."

     

    ...

     

    --

     

    ...

     

     

    The story

    of his heart was as forbidden

    as it was fragile,

    without it mysteries

    it could not survive.

    I never knew until the day

    he was gone

    that I was in fact loved

    by someone I loved,

    and the rest were in shadows,

    and the rest were a secret.

    It would be so beautiful

    if the world could be blind,

    if it could fall in love

    with us.


  6. MidnightSecret
    These Memories we made,


    they play redundantly in my head,


    and they can't seem to slip out of my mind too easily.

     

    It hurts not being able to Grasp them with my own hands.

    The pain doesn't get easier each passing day.


    But I'm still holding on to all those letters you wrote to me,

    holding them with my heart.



    ...



    I whisphered something into the wind,

    hoping to leave a dent in the air,

    "I Love You..."

    But it was already lost in the night that was engulfed by nothing but thunder,

    tonight it wasn't only the sky that was crying as it began to swallow the moon.




    ...


     

    Come back, come back to me,

    I'll be waiting underneath the stars,

    and that is where you will always find me.
  7. MidnightSecret

    please stop it

    By MidnightSecret,

    “Don’t they look good together?” he chuckled to me.
     
    I peeped over his shoulder, realizing how much I didn’t want him to be right. I watched as he held her hand, overwhelmed with the feeling to be in her place. I knew that it could never happen, but I didn't understand why I couldn’t have "that." I didn’t want him to be right. I didn’t want to believe him.
     
    “Yeah, they look super cute together” I replied with hesitation. I didn’t understand why my heart and my mind were never in sync. I didn’t know why I blurted out those words, because I knew it was another lie.
     
    “They look super cute together” I laughed with him.
    stop.
     
    “Don’t they? I think he looks perfect with her” he chuckled
    stop.
     
    “Yeah, watch them get married in a few years.” I laughed.
    Please stop.
     
    I sat there and laughed with him, holding back the pins and needles in my heart.
     
    I excused myself to class, and as packed up my things to leave: I glanced back and saw how happy they were. I couldn’t stop lying to myself. I wanted to cry, if only. If only the things people said about me were true. If only I was as beautiful as they say. If only I was as desirable as they see. If only I felt like what they say I am. I couldn't in that moment. But I believed in one thing for sure, that him and I were never going to be together.
  8. MidnightSecret
    "Pharmaceutical wonders are at work


    but I believe only in this moment

    of well-being.


    Unholy ghost,


    you are certain to come again.


    Coarse, mean, you’ll put your feet


    on the coffee table, lean back,

    and turn me into someone who can’t

    take the trouble to speak; someone

    who can’t sleep, or who does nothing

    but sleep; can’t read, or call

    for an appointment for help.


    There is nothing I can do


    against your coming.

    When I awake, I am still with thee."



     

    –Jane Kenyon


  9. MidnightSecret
    "no matter what or who you are,
    there's a light in the darkness
    of everybody's life."
     
    I've been trying so hard to make sense of things,
    but I don't know where to start or what to do.
     
    the short moments we had to ourselves:
    the stolen glances,
    the stifled laughter,
    when your eyes met mine,
    & the way you smiled - because you knew.
     
    It's been a long time since I've felt butterflies
    in my chest, & I'm glad
    that you're the one changing that.
     
    I wonder what you are thinking about
    when you look at me.
     
    I remember that moment I met you
    when I started to think that
    "maybe you were someone I could like. Maybe even love one day."
     
    But even so,
    sometimes I'm afraid of love,
    it scares me.
    It's not concrete like the ocean,
    something that I could point out
    & understand what it is-
    that's why I struggle with love.
    I can't touch it.
    I can't hold on to it,
    & make sure it never changes.
  10. MidnightSecret
    I've been so frustrated with you,
    and I guess it's because I have
    such a fascination with looking
    at you lately...
     
    studying all
    of the lines and curves
    of your face
    or the viens in your hands
    has become one of my
    favorite things.
     
    If you asked me why I like you,
    I would say I don't know for sure.
    It's not a question I can answer,
    because I don't quite understand it.
     
    I don't know why you first
    sparked my interest when you did.
    I'm not sure why I get
    extremely nervous when I...
    look at you or talk to you.
    I simply don't understand.
     
    The only thing I know,
    the only thing I understand
    is that I can't find the words
    to describe my affection for
    your personality and,
    dare I say,
    your soul.
     
    I've been trying to keep it together,
    but I've been losing sleep
    and forget how to function properly sometimes
    when it's all that I can think about.
     
    One day, I'll tell you how much I love you.
    Just not today.
  11. MidnightSecret
    [personal rant, I just let everything flow out of me. Not really a poem, didn't even care if it made sense. But this is mine, all of it and how I felt after dealing with a heartache.]


    I look into the mirror and I ask myself,

    "Please stop crying -- don't you know

    that you are absolutely beautiful?"

     

    What can you do when your

    good isn't good enough?

    Everything we've done

    has made a mess of things.

     

    I guess I felt it for awhile,

    that sudden urge to cry,

    but I've been detaching myself

    from letting it all go.

     

    We both know that

    we can't go back

    and undo it.

    We'll just have to face

    these mistakes together,

    but where are you?

     

    I waited, and I waited,

    but you never called me.

    Maybe it's true that you got

    too much pride,

    but I thought that things

    would be different.

     

    ...I was convinced,

    as I stared at the phone,

    I continued to wait.

     

    I sat in darkness,

    reminiscing on the good,

    the bad, the ugly,

    the smiles, the laughs,

    the funny or all the things we put each other through--

    It's for you, for me, for us.

     

    I don't want to cry,

    yet I can't stop.

    Because I know,

    I know deep down

    that I've lost you,

    a friend,

    somebody whom I have

    come to love.

     

    I just didn't see it,

    I just didn't know it,

    and I guess it hurts me

    to say that maybe,

    just maybe,

    it's too late

    and you're already

    gone.

     

    Bottom line is that I miss you,

    you need to know

    that I love you,

    when will you

    realize that I care?

    Tell me the truth,

    and I will forgive you

    and I will always

    be here for you.

     

    ...

     

    Love your friend,

    Tony.
  12. MidnightSecret
    {9/30/2019}
    - Hey everyone, this week has been just super busy due to school >.< Anyways, this one is to all my GA friends/fans (if I have any :') ) that I fricken adore + love so fricken much!! <3333 *hugs*
     
    - Yes it's true,
    whether you believe me or not,
    it won't change the way I feel.
     
    He walked right into my life,
    when I least expected it,
    and now he is taking over.
    And you know what?
    It's beautiful, and it feels right...
    Beauty personified.
     
    I couldn't see it before,
    but it must be the chemistry,
    Because
    "I am the rain,
    and he is the sun,
    and together we make a rainbow."
    I think it's beautiful.
     
    And now that I've found him,
    I'm bound to find happiness
    by being around him.
     
     
    I love it,
    the way he makes me laugh,
    the way he holds my hands,
    the way he makes me feel,
    and I'm glad that he knows
    how to be a man.
     
    I'm not ashamed to confess that
    nothing makes me happier
    than the thought of him
    tightly holding me against
    the lightly dimmed stars
    till the night fall fades away,
    letting dawn's rosy fingure tips
    spread across the brisk sky,
    whisphering in my ear,
    "Together, we are beautiful."
     
    It's funny isn't it?
    How his resplendent smile
    makes me leave behind
    all my worries,
    all my fears,
    and all my regrets,
    so that I could truely live
    my life the way I intended to
    until the end of the world.
     
    So let us linger here until
    death do us apart.
    Because frankly, there
    is no where else I rather be.
     
     
    Dear Lovers;
     
    Take a deep breath,
    close your eyes,
    and let your imagination run wild,
    be as free as the wind,
    a heart big as that tree,
    full of sweet promises and remorse,
    don't be afraid to love,
    embrace it,
    or forever drown in
    the untold confessions
    of a broken heart.
     
    If the whole world could just fall in love
    just like me and my man,
    then that would be
    beautiful.
     
    Let love take over,
    breath it in.
    It's alright
    to be happy,
    because love doesn't
    have to hurt.
     
    Stay Sweet Always,
    xoxo,
    Your Friend <3
  13. MidnightSecret
    Love this Song:
     
    " Why does the sun go on shining?
    Why does the sea rush to shore?
    Don't they know it's the end of the world?
     
    - Because you don't love me any more. "
     
    " Why do the birds go on singing?
    Why do the stars glow above ?
    Don't they know it's the end of the world?
     
    - It ended when I lost your love."
     
    " I wake up in the morning and I wonder
    Why everything's the same as it was
    I can't understand, no, I can't understand
     
    - How life goes on the way it does."
     
    " Why does my heart go on beating?
    Why do these eyes of mine cry?
    Don't they know it's the end of the world?
     
    - It ended when you said goodbye."
     
    </3
  14. MidnightSecret
    "If all else perished,
    and you remained,
    I should still continue to be;
    and if all else remained,
    and you were annihilated,
    the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."
     
    Would it have made a differance at all?
     
    These nights have been too long and lonely,
    and this road doesn't seem as bright as it was before.
    Maybe I have lost my way?
     
    Some say love is a work of moving art
    with the ability to paint endless images
    into one's mind.
    And these images are the dreams
    that are afraid of waking.
    And these are the dreams
    that speak to your soul.
    It melts your resistance
    to sensibility.
     
    "Did I trip,
    did I stumble,
    loose my balance,
    graze my knee,
    graze my heart?"
     
    "I know I'm in love when I see you.
    I know when I long to see you
    I'm on fire.
    Not a muscle has moved.
    Leaves hang unruffled by any breeze.
    The air is still.
    I have fallen in love
    without taking a step.
     
    You are all wrong for me
    and I know it.
    But I no longer care for my thoughts
    unless they're thoughts of you."
    No matter how many times I write "I love you"
    there is never enough room
    to convey how sorry I was
    to let him go.
     
    But it was my heart that was afraid of breaking
    that I never even bothered to take a chance,
    a chance to learn to sing, to dance, to laugh, and to love...
    him.
     
    I told him goodbye.
    He was gone, and so was this world
    we created together; it could not survive.
    Maybe goodbye doesn't mean forever.
    And maybe I'll see him again.
     
    It was me; I was afraid of dying
    that I never learned to live.
  15. MidnightSecret
    you Hated it.
    The way he would stay with you.
    and All he did was infest your mind,
    and helplessly gnawed at your Heart
    as it devoured you completely.
     
    You
    have fallen into the trap of the dark villian.
    like the nightmare that makes you scream,
    there is nothing that can penetrate his Heart...
    of darkness.
     
    like the sad cry of the morning dove,
    he is the dark song
    that hugs your Broken Heart.
     
    you Hated him.
    but Craved him
    in your system;
    And it Sickened you.
     
    an Idiot,
    madly in love with a
    Monster.
  16. MidnightSecret
    - " Just a lonely boy who fell in love. "


     

     

    At times when I feel so alone,

    I would dance and dance the pain away.

     

    ...



    - One Day







    He saw me dance,

    and I stopped in fear.

     

    But

    he ordered me not to stop,

    and that was when I thought my heart would have

    stopped.


     

     

    It felt like magic when the harmony of his words stole my heart,

    as he took hold of my hand,

    and we danced to the rhythm of my heartbeat.

     

    I gave into him whithout any hesistation,

    as his music became my infatuation.




    ...


     

    We stayed that way for a long long time,

    till twilight colored the windows,

    and the hour had called us home.
  17. MidnightSecret
    I was not disguested

    by the homosexuality

    of the boy I loved,

    but I was rather disgusted

    by how the world

    treated us in vain;

    as if we were anything less than human.

     

    It did not matter,

    because when you start to care deeply enough,

    you lose sight of the real world.

     

    ...

     

    You know you've fallen in love

    when you don't want to fall asleep,

    because finally,

    reality is better than a dream.

     

    Let our hands intertwine endlessly,

    do not be ashamed of confessing to the world

    of your dreams,

    of your desires,

    of your lies,

    of who you are and who you love.

     

    Let the world adapt itself to your love:

    without persistance, things would stay the same.

     


     
     
  18. MidnightSecret
    They told me not to go down this path,


    But you told me to listen only to my heart.

     

    Both ways are the answers, but yet both hold such undesirable consequnces.

    There is only one answer, one opportunity, one chance...

     

    and only one way:

     

    Can you hear me calling for you?


  19. MidnightSecret

    ;; It's Hard -

    By MidnightSecret,

    Underneath the Stars,


    is Where you will always find me.

    and I know that you will come back one day.

     

    Pride can stand a thousand trials,

    and the strong will never fall.

    But watching stars without you,

    My soul cries.

    My heaving heart is so full of pain

     

    I never thought I would get hurt like this.

    Everyday, life still goes on like this.

    I wish I could find a way to not cry

    As Time passes by.

     

    You never let me know it,

    You never let it show.

    Because you loved me

    and if you were with me today, face to face

    There would be obviously to much to say:

     

    "Hold me.

    Whatever lies beyond this morning,

    is a little later on.

    Regardless of any warnings,

    the future doesn't scare me at all.

    It will be Okay.

    Nothing's like before."

     

    It's hard to let it go,

    I don't think life is quite that simple

     

    And the Hardest Thing to say is Good Bye.

     


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