PrivateTim

“Bullshit. You can fucking control it. If I didn’t make him happy, he could have said so. But you know what really pisses me off? I did make him happy. And I didn’t go out and find someone else to fall in love with. No, I was loyal as a dead dog. Well not anymore.” Brad, who cannot control himself, his dick or his temper, is lecturing Nick on control? “Yep. As many as I can. It makes me feel like I’m attractive and desirable, and it really pisses him off. That’s a recipe to make me happy, at least right now.” I saw him digest that sadly. So Brad's mature plan to make himself happy, is to piss off, as much as he can, the person he supposedly loves? Love that Grace gets a nice vacation!

Because it is. That was all really well said. But man are these people fucked up. Brad is fucked up because he wants to fuck his sort of step-son and he wants to piss off a good man, doing good work (Tim) just to see if he can. Matt is fucked up because he wants to fuck his sort of step-father and he has an incredible boyfriend who'd be crushed by it, because it is more than just a fuck. And this "one time and no one will know" bullshit. Either they will neglect to lock the door and Robbie or Wade walks in on them, or someone blurts it out in this incontrollable anger they all seem to have. Even at the height of my obsession with Leo, Devon and Jonathan would I have gone there if the cost was what it is potentially for Brad. No one has even discussed how JP or Stef would react, or think. And what makes Brad think Dan couldn't have gotten to Matt someway? In the middle of a crisis like Brad is in, I'd be completely paranoid and questioning the unquestionable. If Robbie is older and ostensibly more mature than Matt, how much more vulnerable could Matt be? That sounded incredibly petulant. It was almost childish. But I was better at rationalizing than that, and I really did think I was right. He fucked us up like this, I’d put up with unspeakable emotional trauma, so he had to pay the price. Not because I wanted to torture him, because I didn’t. I loved him, I always had, and I probably always would. No, he needed to feel real pain over this; it needed to be hard, really hard for him to get things back to where he wanted them to be. If it wasn’t, he’d be tempted to do it again. Uh yeah Brad, it sounds incredibly childish and petulant, because it is. You don't even make allowance that Robbie was targeted specifically because of you and something you did in your past. I would not intentionally create pain for someone I loved. That is love, that is a fucked up sense of morality from someone who seemingly has no morals.

I don't have any friends whose parents kicked them out after they came out, and thank God for organizations like PFLAG that helped so many, including friends. But I do have friends I've made, after they got kicked out of their parents homes for being gay. It was and is such a foreign concept to me that a parent would let anything diminish their love for their child, especially a mother. But then again, it is a foreign concept to me that a parent would neglect a 3 year old, burn an 8 year with a cigarette because he spilled his milk, and so on. I've seen all these things. Thank God for families who foster and adopt, for organizations like Covenant House, Children of the Night and for the people who serve the addicted, the homeless in general and especially homeless children.

Ha ham welcome to the party. I can't believe Brad brought Kevin over, I thought they were trying to hide Robbie. At this point, with Dan's careful, long term planning, I'd be vetting everyone in my life, including Klip, Jeff Grimes, Kevin, etc.

When I was 8 I thought when I was grown up and no one could tell me what to do, I'd eat ice cream three meals a day and I'd never eat another damn vegetable. It didn't turn out that way.

All of this goes to Robbie's insecurities and Dan played Robbie perfectly, setting Robbie up for failure with a couple of flops, making him more insecure, then having Carson pretend to be boosting Robbie up, and loving him and saying all the right things. I know they have mentioned it before, but Brad needs to call Stef ASAP and get security for the boys. They would be the third leg of Dan's plan I'd think to destroy Brad; his company, his partner, his family. Maui was too obvious, they needed to have Stef call in favors from a Geffen or someone like that and put Robbie in Montana or maybe on the Rising Sun way out to sea. I wonder if this now means that Dan will know they are on to them (Brandon, etc) or will he think Brad being there was a coincidence?

I think you missed the entire point.

I'd forgotten all about Jeff Grimes. Nice that Drew can be in a supportive environment and with people of a similar bent and that he and Will get to do some exploration. I wonder if Will and Jason have gone down the curiosity route. I also forgotten what a long book this is after reading so many short books back to back to back.

Whatever happens with Carson better happen pretty soon because Robbie is unable to hide anything.

Not if he didn't know like Robbie, Jeff, Bill.....

I remember the long discussions in forums on the "old GA" about Christians, preachers and homos. I was so tired of the Fred Phelps like character in seemingly every gay fiction story I was reading; the foaming at the mouth 'God hates f*gs" that was supposed to represent all churches, all Christians, etc. I pointed out the Open & Affirming churches, especially in Hollywood and West Hollywood, the Christian organizations that were running shelters for youth, especially runaway/throwaway gay kids in Hollywood, etc. So I am eternally grateful that Mark and team created Father Tim and the Mission. I wish more money went from multi-billionaires to such programs instead of one more 100m yacht, a bigger private plane or three more homes they never stay in. I also love how The Mission has wound its way into subsequent stories and had an impact, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you Mark for not being afraid to break the stereotypes.

I said in a review of Gap Year that there was something I didn't get or thought it was unbelievable in the context of the story. I won't say what it was in order to not be a spoiler, but the only other thing I don't get or seems unbelievable in the context of the story throughout all 17 books, is how Will goes from the sweet, shy kid, who worships his father, to six months from now is an angsty asshole who does nothing but give grief to his father.

This is one of my favorite CAP stories because it goes so far beyond the boundaries of just fucked up people into intricate and deep plots involving major industries. I see dead people.

I was thinking a couple of chapters back, when Brad had to be in his best suit, etc. It occurred to me that the Crampton and Schluter men couldn't shop for men's clothes in Claremont and Chicago would just be off the rack stuff, so I figured a couple of times a year or so they'd fly to London for bespoke suits from Gieves & Hawkes, bespoke shoes from John Lobb, bespoke shirts from Turnbull & Asser and stop at Purdy & Sons to order a new shotgun for duck season. I bet Jordan is a bottom....

Says the man who lives in Appalachia...... 🤣

Robbie has a moment of clarity. He knows he fucked up. He knows he IS fucked up. And I think he knows Brad is the best thing that ever happened to him. So why can't he give up Carson? And I really want to know why Brad, who is a Carmichael, hasn't asked Kevin more about his family.

I like Kevin. It is weird and twisted he is a Carmichael, but hey, it is CAP.

Brad had a kinda crappy life until he was 6, but how many years is that really? 2, maybe 3, because before that you don't remember much. Robbie has had a VERY crappy life, including some rough times in crucial times of emotional development. He was gang raped repeatedly and had to live with those feelings of guilt and that led directly to Neil, and he killed Neil, and all the crap that goes with that emotionally. So what I am saying is that Robbie is badly damaged and it manifests itself in many ways. He is also not getting any guidance like Brad is. Brad has Stef and Cody helping him think through things. Who is helping Robbie?

A most interesting chapter. If Robbie and Brad are competing for the same guy, I think Robbie is the loser, 9 times out of 10. The danger Robbie is facing that he has awakened Brad's sleeping libido. Brad loved Robbie more than anything, but Robbie thought he needed more. He risks winding up with nothing.

It somehow seems slightly creepy to be hitting on college twinks to me. It would be one thing for the twink to be doing the hitting, but Brad's full court press seems creepy.

It is pretty ironic Matt being pissed at Robbie, when he does the same thing to Wade. Damn fucked up Hayes genes. If I was Brad I'd have found out where Robbie and the gold digging, fucking WeHo piece of shit were staying in Cancun, flown down with Cody on Stef's plane and booked the biggest damn suite in the resort.

Unfortunately trusts don't work like that. The trust is not his yet. After he is 18, he could direct the assets. As I understand this trust, if Travis dies before he reaches his majority, the trust would revert to his father and mother. I also remember some kind of morals clause, but I doubt any probate court would enforce that, and isn't there a compromising tape of Curtis Buck raping the underage girl?

Brad is not an idiot and Robbie is not "fucking a twink". Robbie is taking a gold digging, fucking WeHo piece of shit off on an excursion 5 hours away to a luxury hotel. That is not "fucking a twink". Even going to Palm Springs or San Diego for the weekend would be more than "fucking a twink". A trip to Cancun is serious shit, especially to a gold digging, fucking WeHo piece of shit. The gold digging, fucking WeHo piece of shit has ONE goal and that is to take Robbie away from Brad so the gold digging, fucking WeHo piece of shit can live a life of luxury and leisure. And Robbie is too fucking stupid to see it, just like he was with Neil. One day Robbie will need to choke this gold digging, fucking WeHo piece of shit to death too.

Corporate boards are the ultimate good ol' boys club. Even the girls who get on boards now are part of the good ol' boys club. Very few boards are truly independent. You get on a board because people think you'll be a team player and if you are not a team player, you get on the board as a token and they know they can out vote you. A CEO at a Fortune 100 company has to really F up before they'll dump him.

One more reason to hate Lark. My esteem for Claire dropped considerably. You think that you want to bed a hot young chick yourself 🤣 I am a little shocked at Brad's statement that for the first time in his life, Brad has a "true partner" Really? 16 years with Robbie. Just because there are lows and bad times with a partner, they are still your partner for 'better or worse'. How long has Brad been with Jake? A few months? As to college choices, I am glad I chose Cal, but I've often wondered how different my life would have been had I chosen from one of my other choices. I applied to and visited, Princeton, Dartmouth, University of Florida, Vanderbilt and Southern Methodist. My "safety schools" were ASU and San Diego State. USC was an obligatory application, but I knew I'd never go there. Of all the schools, oddly enough the one I like the most now is ASU. All my friends who went there had a blast and I loved visiting it, still do.