James Hiwatari

Thank you for your review! I'm glad the story is making you think about those things, even if you feel put off by some of it. I'm one of those people who likes a lot of intimate contact, so writing someone like Gunni has been an interesting experience for me (and my partner is asexual too, so our relationship is similar to Gunni and Dmitri's). But even Dmitri gets a lot from his non-sexual relationship. There's a lot more to intimacy, love, and caring than just sex, as those two are finding out.

Thanks for the review! Gunni is doing his best. I'm glad you think he's on the right track (take that, Siggi! ) I'm not going to ask you to read something you might not be comfortable with, obviously, so by all means skip the next chapter if you think that's better for you. You can let me know if you want a short summary for the sake of following the rest of the story, or if you want a bit more detail of what is coming in the chapter to decide if you want to read it or not.

Thanks for the 100th review! Don't give up. There is a reason, and there will be more hints coming along in a few chapters. You'll get to know the actual answer soon too. But I hear what you say about it being frustrating. I'm working on a revised version of the story that makes Siggi's reasons clearer from the start. You can check that out when it's ready and see if it's better.

My first “romantic date” was a disaster, and I didn’t even know why. Jó and Eiri hadn’t even left the house for their own romantic outing by the time Dmitri was gone. They came into the kitchen and pulled me in for a double hug as soon as they saw me standing alone by the now-empty kitchen table. Dmitri’s chair lay discarded on the floor. “What happened, Gunni? We heard the front door closing and thought you were both gone.” Jó caressed my hair and laid my head against his shoulder. “Did you

“And that was when I realised I’m in love with Gunni.” Dmitri buried his face in his hands. He knew better than to watch our friends’ overly-dramatic reactions. Karen’s jaw dropped. Gísli bit his lip and looked away. I wanted to beat Dmitri senseless until he realised the absurdity of what he just said, but I patted his shoulder instead. The one thing I understood about Dmitri (other than his state of permanent arousal), was that he would rather be dead than in love. “Of all the things to happ

Hi there! I hope you're recovering well. Welcome back! *smiley face* Oliver's family is generally that kind of nice and supportive people that we all wished to have (and not just for coming out). It's great for Oliver to grow up in that kind of environment, but it leads to all sorts of questions on why not every family is like this, and why people like Oscar get the horrible ones. Should Oscar resent Oliver for his luck? Can he just be glad that he's now part of that family too, and will get a lot more support from now on? His experiences with Joseph and Claire are still the ones that shaped his life, so it's not as easy as "wanting" to erase the past. Thanks for the review! I'm taking a lot longer than I had hoped with The Orchestra's book, but I'm still confident I'll be back to Be Myself! before the end of year. (And before that, I'll get some regular updates on all my stories via Patreon, so hopefully people won't forget about them...)

Dmitri leaned back in his chair and wiped his eyes with his hands. He looked at me tenderly and managed a weak smile. “When you’re ready, I’m listening.” I took a deep breath, and prepared to hurt the person who cared for me the most. I opened my mouth to speak, but I had to look away as soon as the words started to take shape in my mind. Dmitri didn’t deserve to be hurt that way; it was so unfair. He hadn’t done anything wrong. “You’re the best boyfriend. Before I say anything else, I want yo

The music room was still uncomfortably flooded in sunlight when the front door opened and heavy footsteps interrupted my practice session. Karen was already home (wasting her afternoon with Gísli and a superhero movie in the living room), so the new arrival could only be Dmitri back from his nauseating date with the kid. “You said you were going to be out until late. What happened?” Dmitri was too busy examining a bottle of vodka in the kitchen to turn his face towards me. “Nothing you have to

“I can’t go in there! This was a horrible idea!” Oliver sat on his bed with his head down to almost his knees. His hair was all over the place because he kept pulling on it in frustration, and he rubbed his sweaty palms on his trousers so often that they made them damp. His voice came out in high shrieks that made him want to punch his own vocal chords. Ms Savage sat by her son’s side, pulling him closer to her. “All the guests have arrived. They’re worried that it’s been an hour and you haven

And more than half a year later, you finally get your answer! Thanks for the review and sorry it took so long to do anything about the story. The good news is that you're about to have all your guesses put to the test - I'll post the new chapter once I'm done with this. Hope you like it!

Coming out to Dmitri, Eiri, and Jó lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I didn’t realise how much the anxiety and fear were holding me back until they were no longer there. I felt silly for having worried so much, and I decided to make up for it by coming out to more people. It became an easier thing to do now that I knew my cousins and my boyfriend would support me no matter what. I wasn’t going to shout about asexuality in the streets, but I thought my mum and close friends deserved to know.

I think you're the first person who said they like Siggi after his first appearance. Dmitri might still surprise you, but I completely understand your first reaction to him (you're not the first for that one) Thanks for taking your time to read and review. I hope you continued to read despite my lack of response. I do appreciate every comment and feedback, and I usually reply to everything when I update the story. Here's hoping I'll do better from now on.

Thank you for your review, and I'm sorry it has taken me half a year to answer it... I'm not usually that horrible with feedback. I hope you keep enjoying the story. I'll post the next chapter now, and hopefully get back to a proper publishing schedule.

Hey, look who's back! All I can say is that between travelling to Brazil, working on a book, and then dislocating a shoulder just as I was ready to go back to my usual writing routine, the last six months passed way too quickly. And in my defence, I've used some of that time away to prepare some exciting stuff for The Orchestra and Be Myself!, so hopefully I can be partially forgiven for all the wait... (And now I have to hope people still remember the story) And answering to you review... Siggi is already in therapy (see chapter 20). He and Arnar see the same counsellor. Siggi says she doesn't help him much, but he's already making some progress. My mum is a counsellor too, so there is no way I would write a story where people have all those complicated issues and not have them go to therapy. Healing from all that stuff takes time, even with the best therapist. Siggi still has a long way to go... Thanks for the review, and I hope you haven't given up the story. I'll post the next chapter now. And then I'll hopefully get back to some kind of routine post, as much as my healing shoulder allows me to type (just getting these few lines out is already making it hurt). I'll do my best!

Ooops... Sorry about that. Let's hope things improve for Siggi on a more consistent fashion... Can I ask what was the part that scared you? >.

Karen had a clear sense of purpose when she dragged Gísli and me to the Reykjavík city centre that afternoon. It was the weekend before Dmitri’s birthday, and she wanted us to get him surprise gifts from the country’s largest sex shop. “You do remember that Dmitri didn’t ask for any presents, right?” “Of course I remember, Siggi, but it doesn’t mean we can’t surprise him.” Karen headed straight to the kinky section. I followed her because this was a sex shop for straight people with far too ma

The first thing Oliver did on the morning of his birthday party was to shove his tongue inside my mouth. I barely had time to open my eyes when one of his hands grabbed my hair while the other reached between his legs. His kisses were eager, passionate, almost violent. I felt Oliver’s body relax when he reached his first orgasm, but the kisses did not stop. Soon, he was touching himself again, just as enthusiastically as before. And he kept going seemingly forever, with his mouth glued to mine a

We'll get to Oliver's party soon enough. Sorry it's taking so long...

Important note: This chapter is the first of a two-part special to celebrate Siggi's birthday (he's turning 22 today, 17 of June). The story starts in 2019, almost exactly 6 years ahead of where the plot of the main story currently is. In this alternative universe world, those 6 years brought a lot of character development to Siggi, Gunni, and Dmitri, and they're now in a poly triad, living in their own cosy house together. This plot is not meant to become an indication of what the future of

When doctors warned me that I could have problems concentrating and remembering things at school, I did not think too much about it. I thought I would just be a little distracted and need extra revisions in order to understand my lessons. But by the first day of my second week in school, I realised that my head injury caused me to be much more than ‘a little distracted’, and that extra revisions might not be enough to help me learn. I could not concentrate at all. My mind became foggy, and nothi

Dmitri and I cuddled in bed until Jó knocked on my door to say that lunch was ready. My boyfriend hadn’t been crying for a while, but he was still very reluctant to let go of me. “Do you want to go down now?” I asked. My chin rested on top of his head, and he hugged me just under my ribs. “We can,” Dmitri answered, though he still did not let go of me. “I’m sorry I’m being such a mess. We should be celebrating your coming out, but here I am getting all kinds of horrible flashbacks. I really wis

Thanks for the review! And sorry for taking a whole month to reply... At least you'll get the next chapter as soon as I'm done here! Siggi has potential to become a much nicer person than we give him credit for. He is generally moving towards getting better, but this kind of journey is never linear or simple (see the huge downward turn that landed him where he started the story - he's still climbing back to what he was before that). Actually, in-story it's only been about three months. Hopefully that means Gunni still has time to actually develop something of a personality (or, according to Siggi, a backbone). There's more Eiri, Jó, and cat in the new chapter, so I hope you like it. And I really, really, really need to get back to the fortnightly updates. I'll do my best! (And the concert was really cool. It all went well and I even did a little number of walking off the stage with a clarinet, only to walk back in with a cello)

Thanks for the review! I'm one of those people that takes pride in being a weirdo, so I guess it naturally leads to mixing up things that don't normally appear together. I'm glad you like it. I'll hopefully manage to do the next chapter on time, so you won't have to wait much.

And I would have entered my first counselling session completely relaxed and even cheerful, if not for one unfortunate coincidence. The door to the counselling rooms opened at twelve o’clock sharp. I expected to see the counsellor calling me in, but the person who came through the door was not even an adult. He had short black hair, wore round glasses and managed to make me panic at the mere sight of him, even though he was younger and shorter than me. Arthur McKay, the guy who hurt Oliver and

“You’re sure you’re going to be fine, then?” “Yes. Go enjoy your cuddles, you’re not my babysitter.” For all of Dmitri’s urgency to be reunited with his dear kid-boyfriend, he seemed to be doing everything he could to delay his crossing of our front door. After five minutes of pointless talk, only his left foot had actually crossed to the other side. Every other bit of him remained annoyingly focused on me. It was almost as if he did not want to see the replacement at all. “Fine. If you want