ghrays
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Ch 23: My Date with a Doctor
ghrays commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 23: My Date with a Doctor
Dr Baker is brilliantly drawn... this story just keeps getting better and better -
This has been a nice story and I will be sorry to see it end... By the way, I believe there are laws in all 50 states that prohibit disinheriting a (minor) child.
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I found Dare ending more quickly than I wanted; I think this means I liked it.
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I would love to see part 2.
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Interesting story with excellent character development. I like where the story is going: you can't help but root for Billy and David. The rotating POV adds interest to the story as a whole. Now for a little criticism: There are more than a few spelling, grammar and syntax errors. These should not be difficult to clean up.
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Interesting story; the beginning is really well done and captures the reader's attention right away. I felt some parts dragged a bit and as a whole the story would be tighter and more effective if edited to be about a third shorter. Specifically, the digressions about Stephen's (missing) mother could be dropped; I found myself skipping those sections. Overall, I liked this story and thanks for posting.
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Although the story is listed as "complete", the end of chapter 23 doesn't seem a logical ending point. I like the story, some interesting themes presented, but there are many technical problems with the writing that need editing.
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This is an intriguing story, well-written. The romantic angst is perfectly realized. The ending is so powerful I re-read it several times.
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Well done short story. I liked the dynamic of the two boy's interactions; it felt authentic. As Zane and Andrew slowly peel away their defenses, it makes for a very powerful connection.
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Some difficult issues presented in this story, but overall I'm glad I read it.
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I liked this story. You really know how to cut to the chase and show two disparate people, taking enormous risk to find a common bond.
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Excellent short story. Interesting characters in unusual situations. A story like this could be developed into a novel.
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Great (short) story. The ending is: Ambiguous. Thought provoking. Awesome.
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I liked this story. I cried a little bit. Okay, a lot.
