Mark92

Thank you Celethiel, for saying I helped, however you took it on board. There are so many out there with problems and on GA too. Ever since I joined I've felt I could turn to so many of you for help. I thought of having like a panel, of some of the more experienced sufferers of the various depressions and anxieties might be cool to have here. I would gladly point out who's the best one to go to for help on the various subjects. Here we can be totally at home in saying what is troubling us. We dont get judged, we can be accepted here, for whatever reason we felt the need to join. Not only to read and write, but to seek the company of people who are open minded enough to listen and to care. And maybe help themselves by helping others. Who knows unless we try?

What I do when really low is, I hear every bad name my mum called me. Then its, "well they must be true." Thank you for coming forward LannisterEX, and I hope these guys can help you. As much as they have all helped me. I still have a long way to go. Would be good to have a depression discussion group here. as a regular post. It would maybe help the younger ones with their issues. My friends boy, has just broke up with his girlfriend after two years. He's 17 and a sensitive guy. Anyway, he totally turned it round and said he was crying for his grandad who had died months before, and who he'd hardly seen. It seems we all have our defence mechanisms. I've found here, that most dont judge, or are shocked by anything said. Thats a good thing. To know I can come here and talk to someone and just be told. Its Ok you'll get there. Thats enough to keep me going until the next time I get low. My boyfriend, most of you know who he is. He puts up with so much from me. Last month was bad, and I thought getting through it would be the end of it, but its changing to something new. Now I fear the outside. I dont mean outside my front door I mean the world I have been cut off from. Its been a year since I went through the gate. But on top of that I've never been through it alone. Always with some farmer or other. The track after the gate is over 2 miles, there is that to overcome. Then its just a major road in the middle of nowhere. There is no bus, train, or public transport. I can drive and drive really well but after a year off the main roads would I be safe? Am I making excuses? I dont know. Do I fear it? Oh hell yeah! I'm now doing some basic maths,online. I feel even more a total dufus when I get stuck on sums I should have been doing about 9 years ago. But I didnt go too school. I learned to read and write, that was the only schooling I had. But I will keep on improving myself. I have to, if I want a life.

Really, really enjoyed that KC it has little pearls that are me and Stuby. Sharing a meal online is'nt at all bad, and we laugh so hard sometimes at the smallest of things. It's about getting to know someone before you meet them. This story is funny, its romantic, it's also pretty close to the truth at times. KC I love it

Wow I agree with Lisa that did feel like a slap in the face. It's happened to me so I know where its coming from. Just feel so sorry for him. I ran out of like points KC but I will be back with them. Now onto Chappy 3. good going fabo story

Dont know if that is a compliment or an insult? Either way i'm laughing my head off

Wow Thats powerful stuff Greg, You really need to write more poetry. You're good

I guess "cause" has a lot to do with it. My circumstances, my upbringing, (or the lack of it) My lifestyle is kind of unique. Remote, cut-off, isolated. No schooling, so no interaction there. Also means no socialisation either. Mine was a mum that hated me, and nobody to protect me from that.(no pity please) Add that to the remoteness, the isolation, and the lack of interaction with others. You have a pretty fucked up kid yeah?. Well no actually, I'm getting there. I will do it, I will succeed. Not because of medication or some psychotherapist whatever. But because of self-will. I am determined. I am going to do it. I'm a passionate, stubborn, pain in the arse, down to earth, guy. I say what I think, I have no inhibitions. And nothing is going to stop me getting where I want to be. Yeah I get down, but i'll dust myself off and climb back up again. I hope I inspire others, I hope I can make a difference. If I do then it was all worth it. A huge THANK YOU to all those on GA who have helped me and are continuing to help me.

Thank You Lily it's support like that, works more than anything. I wish some of the other troubled teens would speak out and ask for help from here. It really has made so much difference to me

Talking about it and writing it all down in bits is helping me no end. I cant afford to take medication, It's not the cost, but I have animals that rely on me for their welfare. I could'nt do that as a drug induced zombie. I have also tried one councillor. He talked to me like something he had stood in, and besides that I should be in care? Hello? I run a successful 10 acre farm. My bank balance is very much in the black, my farm is clean, my animals are healthy and happy. I have recommendations for what I sell, and i'm pretty much self-sufficient. What is working for me is a sheer bloody mindedness to overcome it all. I joined here in April this year and my progress is evident. Yeah I get really down, sometimes I feel like I've cried for days. Sometimes I even contemplate the biggy, and yeah real close to that a few times. What stops me? My boyfriend for one, my animals for another and not letting my friends down. My friends on GA I mean. I know I should be doing it for me. That in itself isnt a strong enough reason. So I will use what works for me.

I'm deeply depressed even though, I'm slap bang in the middle of my first real birthday. I feel the love from everyone especially my boyfriend. So why am I depressed?. Because even with everything nice and wonderful, presents and cards I've never had before. Its still the same in the fact that I'm sat here alone. As I was last year, as I've been every year. Is that self pity? I know how to fix it. I know it sounds so easy to everyone, just walk through the damn gate already! I want to say this to everyone. Fancy tomorrow morning you walk out of your front door and its all changed its all different, even alien too. When more than two people is a crowd, When you get to a road the cars at a 30 mph speed limit are going 20 times faster than the tractor you have been driving. That a busy street looks like a road into hell. All these things scare the shit out of me. Like every phobia you have ever known, have been wrapped in a parcel so huge you will never ever get into it. Is this all self pity? or is it being afraid of the unknown? Hope this helps anyone out there, who thinks depression is self pity. What I feel is fear. to anyone that wants one .

Thank You John and Jason and for the card

Thank you Michael :P But ......But Michael, we are a very generous couple, and like to share

Thank You Paya and Westie too Thank You Robyn very pretty Awwww Bloody Woman I would sooner have tjhe pig anyway Thank You so much Nephy Thank You Bleu

Awww A huge Thank You BFF Bestest girlfriend , tormentor and all round bitchyness love you Bee Bee You didnt call me a perv!!! Are you slipping Tara? Thank You Mmmmmm nice cake Thank You Tob Awwww Thank you my Princess Anya Thank you so much sexy lady Love the song on FB too

Thank You Steve Thank You Comic and you sing like an angel

Thank You Rush Thank You Greg Thank You Cailen we all know where your mind is Awww Thank You Princypoo's Thank You Kyle and for the nudges on MSN too Thank You Bugsy

Thank you KC Thank you Jen Thank You Rustle Thank You Dark

Thank You Qtee Mike and Baby Q huggles and snuggles to all of you Awwww Thank you Conner

A hugeeeeeeeeeeee hug, snog, cuddle, fondle, grope, too the most awesome amazing sexy guy ever

Lugh found her a hostel Nephy

Hahahaha again I bow and thank you Billy I hope the final chapter is as entertaining and stimulating for you

Lmao Hahahaahaha thank you Billy hahahaha so funny and less of the boy :wink: I'm all man as that story proved LOL Thanks again

Happy Birthday Bee Have an Awesome Amazing Day

Happy Birthday Perv! I mean Tara

Thanks Michael I wanted a short story with as much in it as possible. And the wood is the dearest thing I own. I chuckled to myself putting myself in there so dont feel bad. And Thankyou for reading